Help me with this kid!!!!!

[Deleted]

My 13 year old is having issues at school (again).  He is very obnoxious and disruptive and doesn't seem to be aware that his behavior is what's causing the other kids to shun him.  I've seen it, even with boys that are friends of his.  I can tell that they are annoyed and want him to quit, but he just doesn't seem to catch on.   Anyhow, that's not what I'm really asking for help with (although, if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears!). 

What I'm really wondering about his how to deal with his obsession with food.  Yes, I know this is normal for a teenager, but even the teachers have started emailing me about this.  He is announcing quite loudly in class all the time that he is hungry and at very odd times, like the first lesson of the day or right after lunch, and it is getting to the point that it's becoming bothersome to the other students and the teachers.  Now, his Dad and I are trying to deal with the rudeness part, but if he really IS hungry, we want to fix that.  Problem is, the kid eats a LOT.  Again, normal for a teen I know, but he's also overweight.  We thought that eventually puberty would kick in and he'd put on all this height and "stretch out".  Well, he has been adding a lot of height.  He's 5'8" now, but he's also adding on the pounds to boot.  Last weight check in July he was 190 pounds.  I'm wondering if I should make an appointment with a nutritionist?  He eats like I did when I was a kid.  All dairy and pasta.  But, I was skinny.  I don't know how to keep him full and not overfeed him.

In class he's not allowed to have anything but fresh fruits or vegetables as snack items.  I might get him to eat grapes or apples, but veggies?  He can't stand those.  I would love to have some ideas that would get him to at least give them a shot. 

[Deleted]

First if rule out a physical problem, make sure nothing medical could be causing the seemingly misplaced hunger.

Then, well it's hard with teens, but if I'm eating those types of foods I'm never satisfied. One reason I just don't eat them. I need protein. Not tons, but some.

Not to be yuck, but what is his intestinal system like?

One also can't rule out emotional eating, especially if he is having friendship issues. Not sure how to address that, sorry, except keeping teaching coping skills/alternative behaviors like you are doing.

[Deleted]

He sometimes complains about stomach aches and diarrhea, normally, when he says that, my go to answer is to quit drinking so much milk (he goes through a gallon every other day). When he does that, it gets better. I do think he needs more protein (besides all the milk). Last night I made spaghetti and meatballs and I had to force him to put a couple meatballs on and he just had a spoonful of sauce. Mainly just a big pile of plain noodles and some garlic toast. Breakfast he'll have Cheerios every day. Often 3 or 4 bowls. He's always got granola bars and cheese sticks in his back pack, but he can't have them in class.  

[The Captain]

Sounds like he's getting too many carbs, which for me at least tends to make me more hungry.

Also, on the stomach ache thing - he may have a degree of lactose intolerance. 

Also sounds like he needs more fiber, which also makes you feel full and takes longer to digest.

Apples, watermelon, cantelope?

Celery sticks with PB and raisens (ants on a log)?

[yogiii]

Will he eat scrambled eggs?  A 4 egg scramble in the morning would keep him a lot more full than cereal.  Cereal is one of those things that never seems to satisfy, IMO.

Also will he eat PB sandwiches or peanuts/almonds as a snack?

[shelby]

I agree he may be lactose intolerant and need more fiber. I know it sounds wierd if he is lactose intolerant but yogurt like greek with a lot of the good bacteria helps my digestion and you could sneak in some flax seed meal mixed in for fiber.

[giramomma]

I don't have much, I'm sorry.
Did your son have his cholesterol checked?

The kids know protein is now a part of breakfast...

My Ds doesn't eat bread products at all in the morning. We've managed to limit his carb intake to snacks and lunches. We try not to do carbs for dinner. We have 2ish dinners a week that have carbs.

Even with this, my DS's triglycerides are too high, and we have to see a nutritionist. And he's not overweight.

I don't know what to tell you. You know what a nutritionist is likely going to tell you. More veggies. Less carbs..Do you think your DS will find it effective to listen a nutritionist..

If he likes dairy, can you push Greek yogurt and cottage cheese? My Greek yogurt has 10g of protein in each cup. And they make some nice flavors, like caramel flavored for the sweet tooth. Cottage cheese also has 12 grams of protein per serving. How about switching to steel cut oatmeal for breakfast?

What is he eating for lunch? I might start with switching out pasta meals for sandwiches..you can do lots of lower carb/healthier options here: wraps, skinny buns, buy bread with no HFCS, etc. Would he eat some sort of Deli meat? You don't even need bread, can just put in slices of meat in the lunch.

Like Oped said, I would see if there's any emotional reasons for the behavior..if not..I'm wondering about consequences he's getting at school..

Is your DS receiving any consequences for his rudeness at school, interrupting class, from teachers? I find that my DS will listen to us talk, and after about 10 seconds, we sound like the adults on the Peanuts cartoons. But, if a teacher calls him out, well, that's completely something else, and stays with him a lot more.

At our school, the middle school kids get three behavioral mis-steps -called notice of concerns- for anything set forth in the handbook (disruptive behavior, forgetting to dress up for mass, wearing inappropriate clothes), and then they get a detention.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for disciplining my kid at home to support the teachers. But, sometimes, I also need the teachers to speak up and be authoritative rather than having me try to work on the behavior several hours after the fact.

[Deleted]

He likes fried egg and cheese sandwiches.  I don't think one egg is enough though.  I'm going to see if he'll eat scrambled because lord knows we have enough eggs around this place.  He likes nuts and trail mix too, but can't have that in class.  He can show up with a tote full of fresh fruits and veggies, but that's all they'll let through the door.  The rest has to be eaten at lunch only. 

Last year he was always making chicken wraps for lunch with fajita chicken, cheese, and mayo, but this year he's just been taking a Hot Pocket and a few side items like a yogurt and a trail mix. 

[midjd]

Are the behavior issues and outbursts new? Has he recently had a physical?

Although it sounds like he does need more protein, if it was a sudden major change in behavior combined with mega appetite (more than the usual puberty changes), I would almost suspect a pituitary issue... probably not, but a checkup might help rule out any obvious medical causes.

Other than that... protein! Eggs, peanut butter, cheese, etc. etc. Either Barilla or Ronzoni makes a high-protein pasta, so if he's picky and only likes carbs, that might be the best way to get some extra into him. 

ETA - does he like bananas? Smoothies? 

[giramomma]

That's a ton of milk! We limit our kids to two six ounce glasses of milk for dinner. After that, it's water.

What happens if you stop bringing Cheerios into the house? You must go through a few boxes a week. What happens if you bring in one less box, or start buying smaller boxes. "ODS, this is what we have for breakfast. I will not buy anymore Cheerios for the week once you've gone through the box. Here are options other than only Cheerios."

Would you consider going to a health food store to get makings for a protein shake? Would he do a smoothie and one bowl of Cheerios?

[yogiii]

Sept 15, 2015 9:14:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

He likes fried egg and cheese sandwiches.  I don't think one egg is enough though.  I'm going to see if he'll eat scrambled because lord knows we have enough eggs around this place.  He likes nuts and trail mix too, but can't have that in class.  He can show up with a tote full of fresh fruits and veggies, but that's all they'll let through the door.  The rest has to be eaten at lunch only. 

Last year he was always making chicken wraps for lunch with fajita chicken, cheese, and mayo, but this year he's just been taking a Hot Pocket and a few side items like a yogurt and a trail mix. 

Even if they can't have snacks, if he can load up at lunch time on nuts or whatever it may help.

I've noticed I get used to eating at certain times of day and when things are off, like if it's a weekend so I'm not eating my meals as early as during the week, I get irritable. 

Do you think your son got used to a summer schedule of eating and now his more rigid school schedule is causing some problems?

[giramomma]

Also, I'm wondering if you can sign him up for weight training at the Y...that might be something to add to the mix.

[gs11rmb]

I agree that it sounds like he is getting far too many carbs and dairy.  It's tough but you might need to stop having that stuff in the house.  Limit him to maybe one glass of milk a day and don't serve meals that contain bread or pasta.  Good luck!  I have two children who also won't eat their vegetables .

[Formerly SK]

Carbs don't fill you - they're just sugar so you'll end up crashing and feeling hungry in an hour.  He needs a lot more protein/fiber.  Apples are really filling - send him in with 1-2 a day for snacks.

We don't drink milk so I'm probably biased, but he drinks a half gallon a day?  I just don't know how that can be good.  Again, it's a quick fill and then he's hungry again.  Nix the cereal - eat eggs with ww toast.  Or oatmeal with some nuts/raisins.  

I don't think you need a nutritionist per say as there are obvious solutions you could implement, but I wonder if he'd listen more to a nutritionist than you?  I know my kids (9&10) tend to dismiss what I say now.  

[Deleted]

Sept 15, 2015 9:14:57 GMT -5 midjd said:

Are the behavior issues and outbursts new? Has he recently had a physical?

Although it sounds like he does need more protein, if it was a sudden major change in behavior combined with mega appetite (more than the usual puberty changes), I would almost suspect a pituitary issue... probably not, but a checkup might help rule out any obvious medical causes.

Other than that... protein! Eggs, peanut butter, cheese, etc. etc. Either Barilla or Ronzoni makes a high-protein pasta, so if he's picky and only likes carbs, that might be the best way to get some extra into him. 

No, the behavior issues are not new.  He's always had social issues.  It started when he was in preschool and way, WAY ahead of the academic curve.  He just couldn't relate to kids his age back then.  I think he's compensated over the years by becoming the class clown. 

He had a physical in July, but they're not very comprehensive.  Listen to the heart and lungs ask him a few questions and give him the stamp of approval.  I would like to get some blood tests done and at his physical his blood pressure was a little high.  

[whoisjohngalt]

I don't think I can add anything more unique to the conversation but just wanted to say I am sorry you are dealing with this.

*I* would probably limit the amount of carbs and dairy I kept in the house and would increase the amount of food with protein - eggs, fish, chicken. 

He is getting into very dangerous eating habits and if brainwashing teaching and talking doesn't work - I take drastic measures

But again, I am sorry - lord knows you don't need yet another thing to worry about.

[ArchietheDragon]

Sign him up for football.

[Deleted]

Sept 15, 2015 9:22:40 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Also, I'm wondering if you can sign him up for weight training at the Y...that might be something to add to the mix.

Do they do that for kids?  I'm trying to think of something for him.  Right now he's in a stroke clinic before swim team starts in October, but I don't know if I want to pay the $300 to put him in swim team again or not.  He would go but whined about it a lot and never went into any of the meets.  I was fine with that.  I figured if he got 3 hours of doing laps a week that was better than just sitting around doing nothing.  But it gets so exhausting forcing him to do these things.

[Deleted]

Sept 15, 2015 9:25:08 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Sign him up for football.

Yeah.  No way.  That's about the last sport he would play.  Team sports aren't his thing at all and getting hit?  Nope.  He would be great at it though from a size aspect.  He's way bigger than any of the other 8th graders.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Sept 15, 2015 9:29:10 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 15, 2015 9:25:08 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Sign him up for football.

Yeah.  No way.  That's about the last sport he would play.  Team sports aren't his thing at all and getting hit?  Nope.  He would be great at it though from a size aspect.  He's way bigger than any of the other 8th graders.

But he can prove he's BETTER than the rest of them by not being where they think he'll be and therefore, he won't get hit!  Spacial relationships and physics in action and all that. 

[Deleted]

Sept 15, 2015 9:20:14 GMT -5 giramomma said:

That's a ton of milk! We limit our kids to two six ounce glasses of milk for dinner. After that, it's water.

What happens if you stop bringing Cheerios into the house? You must go through a few boxes a week. What happens if you bring in one less box, or start buying smaller boxes. "ODS, this is what we have for breakfast. I will not buy anymore Cheerios for the week once you've gone through the box. Here are options other than only Cheerios."

Would you consider going to a health food store to get makings for a protein shake? Would he do a smoothie and one bowl of Cheerios?

He has milk in his cheerios and a glass on the side, then milk when he gets home from school, then milk with dinner, then maybe a glass of milk before bed....  He really likes milk.   Besides Cheerios he eats frozen waffles a lot.   He was making some kind of smoothie this summer with peanut butter, milk and I think bananas.  I should get him to start making them again.  Also, fried egg and cheese, but I don't think he's been making them lately.  He gets up super early before me or his brother and is done eating before we even get to the kitchen. 

[giramomma]

Sept 15, 2015 9:28:19 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 15, 2015 9:22:40 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Also, I'm wondering if you can sign him up for weight training at the Y...that might be something to add to the mix.

Do they do that for kids?  I'm trying to think of something for him.  Right now he's in a stroke clinic before swim team starts in October, but I don't know if I want to pay the $300 to put him in swim team again or not.  He would go but whined about it a lot and never went into any of the meets.  I was fine with that.  I figured if he got 3 hours of doing laps a week that was better than just sitting around doing nothing.  But it gets so exhausting forcing him to do these things.

I would check around. I know either our Y or the school's rec program offered weight training to young men. My Y offers personal trainers for rather cheap.

I've had a few clients do football. They are doing weight training two hours a day during the summer. Of Course that's at school. But, there's got to be resources out there for a kid to get ahead.

I know it's hard finding something he likes. We had the same problem with DS until he bowed to peer pressure. My DS hated most everything. Now he's in sports almost year round (football, basketball, and baseball), thanks to wanting to be with his friends..

[Deleted]

Isn't there lots of protein in milk though?

[giramomma]

Sept 15, 2015 9:29:10 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 15, 2015 9:25:08 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Sign him up for football.

Yeah.  No way.  That's about the last sport he would play.  Team sports aren't his thing at all and getting hit?  Nope.  He would be great at it though from a size aspect.  He's way bigger than any of the other 8th graders.

When's that last time you've actually sat and watched practice?

When DS did tackle last year, in a 1.5-2 hour practice, about 15 minutes of that was spent in actual play. The rest was all strength conditioning, walking through plays, and developing skills.

The spring after DS did tackle, he shaved a minute off his mile run, and the kid was ripped. You don't get like that from just hitting.

[The Captain]

Sept 15, 2015 9:14:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

He likes fried egg and cheese sandwiches.  I don't think one egg is enough though.  I'm going to see if he'll eat scrambled because lord knows we have enough eggs around this place.  He likes nuts and trail mix too, but can't have that in class.  He can show up with a tote full of fresh fruits and veggies, but that's all they'll let through the door.  The rest has to be eaten at lunch only. 

Last year he was always making chicken wraps for lunch with fajita chicken, cheese, and mayo, but this year he's just been taking a Hot Pocket and a few side items like a yogurt and a trail mix. 

Ohhh, I forgot about this!

You can make easy heat, or take and go muffin tin egg cups.

allrecipes.com/search/results/?wt=muffin%20tin%20egg&sort=re

Whip up a few different combinations of these during the weekend and you're set for the week.

[whoisjohngalt]

OK, so.....I keep reading your posts and it sounds like he has  ALOT of say about what he doesn't want to do and won't do.  And while I am not into forcing the kids into activities or forcing them to eat, etc - I would be having CTJ conversation with him and yes, I would be forcing some of the things on  him.  Bc I think more than weight issues I would be worried that he is getting into "I  only do what I want and what is easy" habits - and those are much harder to fix.

[Deleted]

This is the most non-athletic kid you will ever encounter.  This is the had to stay after school for a month because he couldn't do a summer sault kid.  It's not for lack of me trying.  I've enrolled him in darn near every sport I could think of since he was 4 or 5 but nothing stuck.  He hated every minute of it and everyone was miserable. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Sept 15, 2015 9:38:43 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

This is the most non-athletic kid you will ever encounter.  This is the had to stay after school for a month because he couldn't do a summer sault kid.  It's not for lack of me trying.  I've enrolled him in darn near every sport I could think of since he was 4 or 5 but nothing stuck.  He hated every minute of it and everyone was miserable. 

I get it.  I was one of those kids and am one of those adults.

But swimming is GREAT exercise so I would make him go.  Well, as much as you can make a 13 yr old do anything.  As you know, I have no experience with teenagers.

 I don't know....I would be freaking out about his attitude more than anything else, I think

May be I am projecting, but seeing my husband's family and their whole "we do what we want" mentality and how that made them poor and very unhealthy- any sigh of such scares the crap out of me.

So, I would be trying to change his mindset first and foremost.  While, yes, getting carbs and milk out of the house

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

What about wrestling? 

I'd also say he's drinking WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much milk.  Even if he doesn't have lactose issues drinking a gallon of milk every other day is going to give you problems.

I'd start buying a half gallon and when it's gone it's gone, no run to pick up more.   I keep dried milk in the pantry for when I want to cook/bake or evaporated milk.

[giramomma]

Sept 15, 2015 9:34:49 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Isn't there lots of protein in milk though?

OK. Because I'm a nerd and not wanting to go into work.

According to my labels, one cup of 1% milk has 110 calories 13 grams of carbs, and 8 grams of protein, and 2.5 grams of fat

My 4% cottage cheese has 110 calories, 12 grams of protein, 5 grams of fat and 5 grams of carbs.

But switching out one serving of cottage cheese for one serving of milk, you are saving 7 grams of sugars right there. And it's got a little bit more protein.

Put another way, assuming your DS drinks four cups of milk a day, he's getting 16% of his daily allotment of carbs right there.

There's 7% carbs in every serving of Cheerios (I just looked it up). At three servings (not including milk), he's getting 21% of his daily carbs. So between the Cheerios and the milk, he's getting likely 40% of his carbs for the day. And he hasn't eaten lunch, dinner, or snacks yet.

And this is off a 2,000 calorie diet. Which he may not really need.

Instead of buying granola bars, will he eat a protein bar? The kids lap up normal cliff bars and peanut butter zone bars. They are usually 200 calories, but it keeps them full much longer than goldfish.