The Great Pantless Rescue

[Virgil Showlion]

I'm walking from the subway on my way home and a voice cries out for help behind me. I turn to discover a woman sitting in a motorized wheelchair on the street dangerously close to the edge of traffic. The front left wheel has come off of her wheelchair and she's stranded. I discover that the wheel has lost its nut, the bearing has come loose, and the best I'm able to do is raise the chair a little to put the wheel back on. The chair is level again but moving it anywhere will cause the wheel to pop right off again.

The chair weighs 320 pounds plus the weight of the occupant, in this case a grateful young woman named Anita. She doesn't have a cell phone but I fortunately have mine with me. Her first call is to her PSW, because missing an appointment might mean a cancellation of the service. With that matter taken care of, after some digging through cyberspace, we find the number for the 24-hour emergency wheelchair service.

I don't know if it's just this wheelchair service or all of them, but remind me never to get into an accident that puts me into a wheelchair. And failing that, remind me to never need the emergency service.

After half an hour of phone trees, waiting, and explaining the problem: "OK, we'll have one of our service people call you back."

Fine. It's getting cold outside and the sun has set, but we can wait a little longer. So Anita and I chat about life and work and Europe and Jim Cramer and... 30 minutes have gone by and still no call. So I call back, Anita talks with the service representative again, and this time for sure we're going to get a call from a maintenance guy.

About ten minutes later... success! A call. Anita explains that she's stranded. She needs their award-winning emergency service to pick her up or repair her chair. No, she can't drive the chair to one of their service depots. No, she can't drive the chair to her home. Eventually I take the phone and explain to the guy in technical terms how the wheel is broken and the chair isn't going anywhere. And because life just loves to make tough situations tougher, as I get back up from inspecting the wheel, the button on my pants pops off.

Anita fortunately doesn't notice as my pants nearly fall down because she's back on the phone arguing with the service tech. I've meanwhile got my back to her, madly trying to get my fly closed and wondering what on Earth I'm going to do now that my pants are falling down. Fortunately I've got an oversized tee-shirt on so I figure if I can keep my hands in my pockets holding my pants up, the shirt covers the popped button and partly-open fly, and I'll make due.

Back to the rescue. The service tech has "several other calls" and won't be able to make it until at least 11:45. It's 9:00 PM by this point, long after dark, the temperature is dipping even more. Even I'm getting cold now. So I figure: 911 time. But Anita points out that her circumstances really don't constitute an emergency, and calling 911 without an emergency = big trouble.

So what to do? What to do?

There's a fire station not far up the street. Another passerby shows up to stay with Anita while I run for help. And run I do, with my hands in my pockets to keep my pants where they belong.

I make it to the fire station. There's a door, a light behind it. I open it and discover myself in a firefighters' rec room with a half-dozen burly firefighters looking at me. Fortunately I remember to keep at least one hand in my pocket so my pants don't drop and make the situation a whole lot worse.

Just as fortunately, the firefighters hear me out and are very helpful. They discuss out loud what kind of help they might be able to provide: "WheelTrans"? An ambulance? Maybe get a bunch of them to load the chair into a truck?

Huzzah! They're on their way. It's back to Anita. I arrive shortly before the firefighters do and flag them down. Anita is ice cold by this point and looking very pitiable, hence I'm grateful I insisted on involving the firefighters. With Anita in their capable hands, the only loose end is to put them in contact with the maintenance guy (still on his way), which I do. And with that, they thank me, Anita thanks me, I shake hands with her using the one hand I'm not secretly using to hold up my pants, and I continue on my way home.

Anita and Virgil: 1
Wheels and Buttons: 0

[Peace Of Mind]

Awwww, you can be such a good egg, Virgil!   She was lucky you were there to help her.   


Wait... what did you use as your "flag" and why were your pants really down?  Was it because of what she was wearing? 


Sorry!  I couldn't resist! 

[Virgil Showlion]

Sept 9, 2015 22:14:14 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Awwww, you can be such a good egg, Virgil!   She was lucky you were there to help her.   


Wait... what did you use as your "flag" and why were your pants really down?  Was it because of what she was wearing? 


Sorry!  I couldn't resist! 

Believe me, I was thinking: What on Earth is this poor woman going to think if she sees my fly wide open?

The moral of the story is to always wear suitably oversized tee-shirts in case of wardrobe malfunction.

[Green Eyed Lady]

That was a nice thing to do.   

[Virgil Showlion]

Sept 9, 2015 22:22:08 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

That was a nice thing to do.   

I've been with YMAM long enough to know that most everybody here would have done the same.

Anita had an interesting story, though: Apparently she'd become stranded in her chair a few years ago in cold winter weather, around -20° F. She said three white men passed right by her and wanted nothing to do with her. Then a black man noticed her and missed his bus to help get her unstuck. While he was helping, some more people passed by, but it was only two more black men who stopped to assist.

I guess it made an impression on her.

I don't suspect she had any preconceptions about whites or blacks before that, but sometimes people do and events like that can really change their thinking.

[Bluerobin]

Time to go up a pants size!  I do admire you helping the young lady.  Nice job!

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

, Virgil!!!

With the current state of the world, it's individual kindnesses such as yours above that might actually save the human race from self-destruction.

On a related note, perhaps a belt or a belt and suspenders would make it easier for you to do more good deeds?

[NoNamePerson]

From the subject line I thought you had rescued someone who was pantless. Glad you were the one who stopped to help.     Wonder how many people saw her and just passed on by?

[mroped]

Good man Virgil!

And in regards to the pants:
In the past years I was called a few times to ocasionaly teach masonry clases at the local tech school. 
When all students were in, I'd lay out my rules as to avoid misunderstandings. The first one goes like this: " I do not care who makes your underwear! Pants will be up at all times. If you don't have a belt that could be adjusted to keep your pants up then find some twine or wire that would do the job. Otherwise you are dismissed from the classroom!"

So far I haven't had to dismiss one!

[joemilitary]

It really is a cold world out there that so many people walk by. And even the wheelchair emergency service doesn't respond properly.

Thanks for what you did. I used to think people like you were the norm. Now I see they are few and far between.

[NancysSummerSip]

Pssssst! Y'all have not heard the real reason Virgil lost his drawers?















Snow leopard got 'em.

[tskeeter]

Well done, Virgil!  If we don't take care of each other, who is going to help us when we need a hand?


Now, the thing I really can't believe is that is that a building full of macho guys doesn't have a good sized collection of washers, nuts, and bolts.  Including a collection of parts that could be used to put the wheel back on.  Where's the tools and the testosterone?    

[wyouser]

There...another case in point for "suspenders!! Really, they are the "true" anti gravitational device capable of keeping one out of  sometimes potentially embarrassing Laws of Newton driven situations

[swamp]

My suspicions are confirmed. Virgil runs around naked.

[Virgil Showlion]

Sept 10, 2015 11:45:50 GMT -5 swamp said:

My suspicions are confirmed. Virgil runs around naked.

Just this once. I swear!