It's because you are black

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2015 17:38:18 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

I said I can make some sense out of it since he said she was afraid.

Sure, but racists are legitimately afraid of black people, black men especially. They've been taught that black men are violent, more likely to assault, rob, or rape them, that they all do drugs, they rob white folks to feed their habits, etc, etc. They honestly believe all that shit and are actually afraid of black men, especially large black men like the kind that are probably going to be delivering home appliances. It's not a job that tiny people usually do.

You should stay away from things you are legitimately afraid of. Especially if you are old, fragile and confined to bed. That is just common sense.

[zibazinski]

They also can ask for the same gender to bathe them

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2015 17:38:18 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

I said I can make some sense out of it since he said she was afraid.

Sure, but racists are legitimately afraid of black people, black men especially. They've been taught that black men are violent, more likely to assault, rob, or rape them, that they all do drugs, they rob white folks to feed their habits, etc, etc. They honestly believe all that shit and are actually afraid of black men, especially large black men like the kind that are probably going to be delivering home appliances. It's not a job that tiny people usually do.

Well, first of all, I ASSumed the delivery was for lumber or something else that would be outside, because I thought Lowe's and Home Depot contracted out their appliance deliveries. I could be wrong about all that though, maybe they had a huge quantity of floor tile or something delivered and the person would have had to come inside the house.

But anyway, all racists aren't afraid of black people. Some of them just don't like black people. If they're that afraid of black people, they should just stay home with the doors locked and not be out in society shopping and whatnot.

[Phoenix84]

I agree halting the delivery was the best option. Had they proceeded, who knows what could have happened.  It very well could have put the employee in a unsafe condition, and no responsible manager would do that.

But they shouldn't have agreed to send someone else, and given the customer a full refund.

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2015 17:43:52 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

You should stay away from things you are legitimately afraid of. Especially if you are old, fragile and confined to bed. That is just common sense.

Meh.. depends on whether the fears are rational. There are people that are legitimately afraid of being outdoors, and it cripples their quality of life. Therapy usually involves getting them to overcome that irrational fear because giving in to it isn't healthy. Racism is an irrational fear, it's real, but rooted in falsehoods, preconceptions, and outright lies.

I personally don't think it's healthy to cater to it, but when somebody is nearly 90 and in a nursing home, they're probably not going to change anyway, so I can see some accommodation because it's just not worth the ultimately losing battle.

dictionary.reference.com/browse/legitimate

[Robert not Bobby]

Post by weltschmerz on 2 hours ago
WTF is wrong with people??
_______________________________

Fundamentally, very little and everything.

They are people with preconceived notions, biases and preferences.

WTF is wrong with the rest of us who want to shove our values down their throats...we are no better. It cuts both ways.

Those people have every right to express their biases as the rest of us have to express ours...we may not like them but so what, they think we are idiots.

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2015 18:53:34 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

adjective
4.
in accordance with the laws of reasoning; logically inferable; logical:
a legitimate conclusion.

If I truly believe that black men are violent, that they prey on white people, that they're all on drugs, etc., etc. it is logical to conclude that they're dangerous to be around. It's logical to fear them. My racist responses are legitimate they're just based on false information.

Sure, but racists are legitimately afraid of black people, black men especially.

Again if someone is afraid of something, in accordance with the laws of reasoning, then they should stay away from that thing.

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2015 17:43:52 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

You should stay away from things you are legitimately afraid of. Especially if you are old, fragile and confined to bed. That is just common sense.

Meh.. depends on whether the fears are rational. There are people that are legitimately afraid of being outdoors, and it cripples their quality of life. Therapy usually involves getting them to overcome that irrational fear because giving in to it isn't healthy. Racism is an irrational fear, it's real, but rooted in falsehoods, preconceptions, and outright lies.

I personally don't think it's healthy to cater to it, but when somebody is nearly 90 and in a nursing home, they're probably not going to change anyway, so I can see some accommodation because it's just not worth the ultimately losing battle.

So why'd you give me a hard time for saying I'd give a little old lady in a nursing home a pass?!

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2015 18:19:36 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

But anyway, all racists aren't afraid of black people. Some of them just don't like black people.

When you talk to them, it's usually based on fear. I used to think they were just assholes that disliked people based on looking different, which never made a lick of sense. Then I talked to several of them, and every one of them the underlying emotion is fear. They've been spoon fed a pack of lies, like all middle easterners are terrorists or at least sympathize with terrorists, that black people are inherently violent and criminal, etc., etc. They don't dislike people because they look different, they're straight up afraid of them because of the falsehoods they believe about them.

It's the Trayvon Martin thing. He's black, and it's dark, so he was obviously in that neighborhood to rob people or sell drugs, because in the guy's head that's what black people do. It's not that he doesn't like people because they're black, it's that he honestly thinks that's what all black kids do, and everybody fears having their home invaded, some shady guy selling their kids drugs, etc. It's all rooted in unfounded fears that they've been fed for years, and continue reinforcing as adults.

If they're that afraid of black people, they should just stay home with the doors locked and not be out in society shopping and whatnot.

The customer basically tried that, that's why he/she didn't want a black delivery person coming to their home.

Oh, well I've never had a conversation with a racist that talked about why he/she doesn't like black people, so I'll have to take your word for it that it's really rooted in fear.

[mollyanna58]

Aug 10, 2015 20:26:37 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

Fear is for the most part the very definition of illogical. 

I'd put phobias in there instead of fear.  If a guy points a gun at my head, it would make sense to be afraid of him.   Being terrified of itsy, bitsy spiders that can't harm me would be illogical.

[cronewitch]

A delivery at home if you are afraid you can do something about it like inviting your brother to come for coffee that morning so you aren't alone. When you are elderly and can't even walk to the bathroom you can't defend yourself if someone attacked you. When mom was on hospice we hired 24/7 caregivers and mom didn't want Americans, she said the other ladies had softer voices. I think the agency lets you choose but mom's granddaughter oversaw her care, she works for the agency.

I went to a new clinic and they asked if I wanted a male or female doctor, I asked why it would matter. Some people care but I don't see why at all. I had a woman doctor doing a biopsy on my uterus and she couldn't do it so called her male boss in to show her what to do. Grandma had a young white man bathe her in the nursing home, she might not have wanted a black man, she was 97 and tiny and racist. We used to make fun of her being racist. Her nephew married a black woman and she called grandma auntie right downtown in the small town grandma was from so anyone could hear her. The first time they came to town after the marriage grandma didn't know and my aunt asked if he and his bride could stay at grandma's house without warning her. The nephew and bride ended up visiting grandma all the time and she didn't get much company so enjoyed that part but not having people think she was related, she got used to it.

[happyhoix]

Aug 10, 2015 17:38:18 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

I said I can make some sense out of it since he said she was afraid.

Sure, but racists are legitimately afraid of black people, black men especially. They've been taught that black men are violent, more likely to assault, rob, or rape them, that they all do drugs, they rob white folks to feed their habits, etc, etc. They honestly believe all that shit and are actually afraid of black men, especially large black men like the kind that are probably going to be delivering home appliances. It's not a job that tiny people usually do.

The racists I've talked to (in the South) have a slightly different flavor. They base their discrimination against blacks on the fact that blacks are inferior. For instance, DH's racist uncle once had a rant at a family gathering about how blacks (only he used the n word) aren't smart enough to be quarterbacks. Blacks, according to him, were somewhere on the scale between feral animals and humans.

He also got onto DH for buying a Japanese car because all the Japanese people are scheming yellow monkeys who should have been destroyed after WWII (doesn't have the same animosity towards Germany - wonder why ).

I used to worry about my son being around this particular member of DH's family, but if DS ever noticed what the crazy uncle was saying, it never seemed to rub off on him. I have a lot of hope for the younger generation, at DH's old high school last year, which is rural, Southern and about 97% white, the prom king was the star of the football team - who is black. Crazy uncle would have shit fits over that.  

[fairlycrazy23]

[The Captain]

Aug 10, 2015 16:39:51 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

We did have an old woman who didn't want a black nursing aide. We gave her a choice....sit in your own filth all day, or accept the help. She accepted the help.

In the US that would have gotten you slapped with a lawsuit.  One you would lose.

www.foxnews.com/us/2010/08/23/nursing-home-residents-patients-rights-means-choosing-caregivers-based-race/

I happen to be a little more familiar with this because the nursing home I volunteered at was going through a lawsuit at the time I was there.  Of course they weren't allowed to discuss specifics and of course there was the rumor mill.

It's a horrible position to be in (for the nursing home).  Most of the nurses were white, a majority of the volunteers were white, and most of the aids and LPN's were black.  When someone refused care from a black person it frequently ended up being volunteers doing direct patient care which had to be supervised by a nurse or nurses doing all the care themselves.  So you had nurses taken away from their stations and/or babysitting a bunch of college kids and hoping that nothing big happened.

Some laws are just plain friggin stupid.

[The Captain]

Aug 10, 2015 17:51:18 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

They also can ask for the same gender to bathe them

Heh, heh.  At least this is a funny story.

Several of my college friends were nursing students.  They were required as part of their program to do a rotation at two out three - a hospital, nursing home, and community clinic.

I had a volunteer requirement from one of my student groups so the three of us decided to do a nursing home rotation together (it was the only way we three could all work the same shift). 

Now people, I've been through adult psych and have worked in a nursing home before.  There is a reason the phrase "Dirty old men" exists.    You just smile and shrug it off.

After we worked a few shifts apparently there were a lot of requests worded in a way that we (really my friends - they were the hotties) would be the only ones able to assist or give sponge baths.  I, as a volunteer - strictly couldn't.  My friends OTOH - well this was in their pervue. 

Fortunately, Zib is right - you can request the same gender, you can't insist on the opposite gender.    Still, my friends ended up doing so as part of their rotation and we had several...interesting stories to share afterward.

Ahhh...good times. 

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2015 21:07:29 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

So why'd you give me a hard time for saying I'd give a little old lady in a nursing home a pass?!

It wasn't giving her a pass that I objected to, it was giving her a pass because it's different.  Or some similar wording. The underlying beliefs are exactly the same. That's the only thing I objected to.

The Lowe's customer was quoted as saying they have the right to have whatever they want and that's it.

Even though both are racists, I still see that differently than a little old lady in a nursing home being intimidated by the big black guy being in and out of her room, helping to take care of her.

Maybe I'm being illogical, but that's how I see it.