I'm pissed......

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

And I have to figure out how to get over being pissed before I talk to my dad's widow again.

I've been trying to call her weekly, and called yesterday.  She told me she gave away my dad's cat.  I HATE how she treats the animals she brings into the house as disposable and this is the third animal that she's found an excuse to get rid of.  According to her, she is allergic to the cat (he is long haired), but I have NEVER seen a single allergy symptom in any of the 4 times I've been there (for as long as a week to 10 days).

[ArchietheDragon]

Did she give them to the local Chinese restaurant?

[mollyanna58]

Hopefully she gave the cat to someone that will actually love him; something she is obviously incapable of.

[mmhmm]

Mar 31, 2015 11:32:45 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

And I have to figure out how to get over being pissed before I talk to my dad's widow again.

I've been trying to call her weekly, and called yesterday.  She told me she gave away my dad's cat.  I HATE how she treats the animals she brings into the house as disposable and this is the third animal that she's found an excuse to get rid of.  According to her, she is allergic to the cat (he is long haired), but I have NEVER seen a single allergy symptom in any of the 4 times I've been there (for as long as a week to 10 days).

That would infuriate me, as well! The least she could have done would have been to give the opportunity to family members to take the cat if they wished to do so. I have my mother's cat. I wouldn't even think of giving her away unless it were to a family member who would value her as my mother did.

[CarolinaKat]

Mar 31, 2015 11:32:45 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

And I have to figure out how to get over being pissed before I talk to my dad's widow again.

I've been trying to call her weekly, and called yesterday.  She told me she gave away my dad's cat.  I HATE how she treats the animals she brings into the house as disposable and this is the third animal that she's found an excuse to get rid of.  According to her, she is allergic to the cat (he is long haired), but I have NEVER seen a single allergy symptom in any of the 4 times I've been there (for as long as a week to 10 days).

Do you have to talk to her? Because i'm not sure I could calm down about that in a week (several months maybe). I like animals better than people though.

[CarolinaKat]

Mar 31, 2015 11:45:47 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Mar 31, 2015 11:32:45 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

And I have to figure out how to get over being pissed before I talk to my dad's widow again.

I've been trying to call her weekly, and called yesterday.  She told me she gave away my dad's cat.  I HATE how she treats the animals she brings into the house as disposable and this is the third animal that she's found an excuse to get rid of.  According to her, she is allergic to the cat (he is long haired), but I have NEVER seen a single allergy symptom in any of the 4 times I've been there (for as long as a week to 10 days).

That would infuriate me, as well! The least she could have done would have been to give the opportunity to family members to take the cat if they wished to do so. I have my mother's cat. I wouldn't even think of giving her away unless it were to a family member who would value her as my mother did.

That's not giving an animal away, that's placing the animal in an environment that would be best for it's well-being. 

[kittensaver]

Mar 31, 2015 13:06:02 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

Mar 31, 2015 11:32:45 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

And I have to figure out how to get over being pissed before I talk to my dad's widow again.

I've been trying to call her weekly, and called yesterday.  She told me she gave away my dad's cat.  I HATE how she treats the animals she brings into the house as disposable and this is the third animal that she's found an excuse to get rid of.  According to her, she is allergic to the cat (he is long haired), but I have NEVER seen a single allergy symptom in any of the 4 times I've been there (for as long as a week to 10 days).

Do you have to talk to her? Because i'm not sure I could calm down about that in a week (several months maybe). I like animals better than people though.

I'm with you CarolinaKat. I have my days where I like my plants and my animals waaaaaaay better than most people.

[mmhmm]

Mar 31, 2015 13:07:55 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

Mar 31, 2015 11:45:47 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

That would infuriate me, as well! The least she could have done would have been to give the opportunity to family members to take the cat if they wished to do so. I have my mother's cat. I wouldn't even think of giving her away unless it were to a family member who would value her as my mother did.

That's not giving an animal away, that's placing the animal in an environment that would be best for it's well-being. 

Precisely. Sylvia (mother's cat) lived here with mother and I for the past 9 years. She was pretty much exclusively mother's cat. They adored one another. Sylvia is more than welcome here. She won't go unless I find I must place her. Then, she'll go to my daughter, who will cherish her.

[movingforward]

Oh, that would piss me off to no end... I am certain it is not what your dad would have wanted and I believe animals do miss people and have feelings (though I realize some people them to think they are as disposable as an old sofa ).  How many animals are left?  Is there any way you could take them?  Perhaps pay for her to fly them to you?

[CarolinaKat]

Mar 31, 2015 13:10:12 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Mar 31, 2015 13:07:55 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

That's not giving an animal away, that's placing the animal in an environment that would be best for it's well-being. 

Precisely. Sylvia (mother's cat) lived here with mother and I for the past 9 years. She was pretty much exclusively mother's cat. They adored one another. Sylvia is more than welcome here. She won't go unless I find I must place her. Then, she'll go to my daughter, who will cherish her.

That's how cousin J ended up with Mr. Kitty. She and her mom lived in the house, and Mr. Kitty moved himself in (a stray that wandered in the back door and decided to stay forever). Mr. Kitty bonded to the mother and sat in her lap and slept in her bed. J mother's health got such that she needed a nurse 24/7 so she moved into a care facility and now J has Mr. Kitty at the house. Mr. Kitty now follows J everywhere and 'helps' her do everything... (apparently he's really annoying when you're making a quilt) 

[mmhmm]

Mar 31, 2015 13:18:50 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

Mar 31, 2015 13:10:12 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Precisely. Sylvia (mother's cat) lived here with mother and I for the past 9 years. She was pretty much exclusively mother's cat. They adored one another. Sylvia is more than welcome here. She won't go unless I find I must place her. Then, she'll go to my daughter, who will cherish her.

That's how cousin J ended up with Mr. Kitty. She and her mom lived in the house, and Mr. Kitty moved himself in (a stray that wandered in the back door and decided to stay forever). Mr. Kitty bonded to the mother and sat in her lap and slept in her bed. J mother's health got such that she needed a nurse 24/7 so she moved into a care facility and now J has Mr. Kitty at the house. Mr. Kitty now follows J everywhere and 'helps' her do everything... (apparently he's really annoying when you're making a quilt) 

LOL! Sounds so much like Sylvia. She came to us during an ice storm. I brought the poor, wet, cold critter in and she took to my mother. She spent all her time with mother and was a real boon in that regard since mother was mobility impaired and couldn't do much. Sylvia was always with mother. Now, she's always with me. I was glad to see she was able to re-establish a bond with me. I was afraid she'd mourn herself sick.

[lexxy703]

I would be very pissed off too.  You talk to her weekly & she never mentioned wanting to get rid of the cat or give you an opportunity to take him or rehome him?  Very mean & thoughtless.  I am also in the I like animals better than people group.

[movingforward]

I am also in the I like animals better than people group.

I am in the I only like people who like animals group!

[mmhmm]

Mar 31, 2015 13:48:52 GMT -5 movingforward said:

I am also in the I like animals better than people group.

I am in the I only like people who like animals group!

Nope. I like people and I like animals. I don't like jerks whether they have opposing thumbs, or not. 

[swamp]

did she give the cat to the SPCA, or did she give it to someone who would give it a good home?

The first would piss me off. The second, meh. If she didn't want the cat, it probably wouldn't have been treated really well.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Mar 31, 2015 13:48:52 GMT -5 movingforward said:

I am also in the I like animals better than people group.

I am in the I only like people who like animals group!

I'm tending to head in that direction.  I know only two people well who dislike animals...period.  I find them to be narcissistic people who have, it appears, an inability to care about anyone but themselves.  I'm certainly not making a broad statement about anyone who doesn't like animals - just my personal experience.  Those people aren't people I want to spend time with and I wouldn't if they weren't sort of forced on me in some family situations.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Mar 31, 2015 14:24:38 GMT -5 swamp said:

did she give the cat to the SPCA, or did she give it to someone who would give it a good home?

The first would piss me off. The second, meh. If she didn't want the cat, it probably wouldn't have been treated really well.

She gave the cat to her daughter, but the daughter is in very unsettled living conditions and hasn't lived in the same place (or with the same person) any more than a couple of months.  So while she didn't give it to the SPCA, whether or not it's a good home is questionable.

Yes, I would have taken the cat if it had been offered, or if I knew she was planning on getting rid of him.

[swamp]

Mar 31, 2015 15:17:39 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Mar 31, 2015 14:24:38 GMT -5 swamp said:

did she give the cat to the SPCA, or did she give it to someone who would give it a good home?

The first would piss me off. The second, meh. If she didn't want the cat, it probably wouldn't have been treated really well.

She gave the cat to her daughter, but the daughter is in very unsettled living conditions and hasn't lived in the same place (or with the same person) any more than a couple of months.  So while she didn't give it to the SPCA, whether or not it's a good home is questionable.

Yes, I would have taken the cat if it had been offered, or if I knew she was planning on getting rid of him.

then I'd be annoyed. does she know you would have taken the cat?  If not, offer.  

[happyhoix]

Mar 31, 2015 13:10:12 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Mar 31, 2015 13:07:55 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

That's not giving an animal away, that's placing the animal in an environment that would be best for it's well-being. 

Precisely. Sylvia (mother's cat) lived here with mother and I for the past 9 years. She was pretty much exclusively mother's cat. They adored one another. Sylvia is more than welcome here. She won't go unless I find I must place her. Then, she'll go to my daughter, who will cherish her.

That's how I ended up with the fat Siamese. She was a stray that my mom took in, then six months later Mom had a stroke, and I ended up bringing her home. She's about the same age as the Maine Coon, so those two race each other around the house, which has made the elderly calico (who just wishes to be left alone) much happier.

Normally we have a two cat limit, but after this Siamese started out life living outside (in Ohio - in the winter!) and then briefly with Mom, who wasn't able to care for her that well, I figured the Siamese deserved a good home.

I probably would have tried to take in my sisters' 5 cats when she died, but DH has set a three cat limit. Fortunately my sister had always supported local cat charities and they stepped in and helped rescue them, finding them all good homes after she died.

[CarolinaKat]

Mar 31, 2015 15:17:39 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Mar 31, 2015 14:24:38 GMT -5 swamp said:

did she give the cat to the SPCA, or did she give it to someone who would give it a good home?

The first would piss me off. The second, meh. If she didn't want the cat, it probably wouldn't have been treated really well.

She gave the cat to her daughter, but the daughter is in very unsettled living conditions and hasn't lived in the same place (or with the same person) any more than a couple of months.  So while she didn't give it to the SPCA, whether or not it's a good home is questionable.

Yes, I would have taken the cat if it had been offered, or if I knew she was planning on getting rid of him.

Next time you're supposed to talk to her, tell her that you're interested in having 'Bluebell the cat.' Basically say that you have a cat that 'needs a friend' and that Bluebell would be perfect.

Also, if the daughter is not a nutcase, call her and try the same tactic.

[Spellbound454]

I don't really think you can force an animal on someone who doesn't want it.

You could like the above says.....talk to the daughter and make it clear that you are interested in taking the cat, because it was your dads pet... and if it doesn't work out the cat can come and live with you. 

[zibazinski]

One of the things that relieved DH was the fact that I love his cat. His ex would have tossed him outside the minute DH died. Although he doesn't love mine, he'd care for them if I died. Plus, I have kids who'd step up to the plate. One of the reasons I don't want to replace our critters as they go to rainbow heaven is because no one loves your pet like you do. My dad's dog died within a month of my dad dying. I'm sure from a broken heart. I cared for him but I'm not a dog person and didn't love him like my dad did. 

[Bonny]

Mar 31, 2015 13:30:17 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Mar 31, 2015 13:18:50 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

That's how cousin J ended up with Mr. Kitty. She and her mom lived in the house, and Mr. Kitty moved himself in (a stray that wandered in the back door and decided to stay forever). Mr. Kitty bonded to the mother and sat in her lap and slept in her bed. J mother's health got such that she needed a nurse 24/7 so she moved into a care facility and now J has Mr. Kitty at the house. Mr. Kitty now follows J everywhere and 'helps' her do everything... (apparently he's really annoying when you're making a quilt) 

LOL! Sounds so much like Sylvia. She came to us during an ice storm. I brought the poor, wet, cold critter in and she took to my mother. She spent all her time with mother and was a real boon in that regard since mother was mobility impaired and couldn't do much. Sylvia was always with mother. Now, she's always with me. I was glad to see she was able to re-establish a bond with me. I was afraid she'd mourn herself sick.

Dear your mom recently pass mmhmm?

[cronewitch]

Mar 31, 2015 17:13:38 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

One of the things that relieved DH was the fact that I love his cat. His ex would have tossed him outside the minute DH died. Although he doesn't love mine, he'd care for them if I died. Plus, I have kids who'd step up to the plate. One of the reasons I don't want to replace our critters as they go to rainbow heaven is because no one loves your pet like you do. My dad's dog died within a month of my dad dying. I'm sure from a broken heart. I cared for him but I'm not a dog person and didn't love him like my dad did. 

I don't want a cat but ISO has a very nice fat cat who is spoiled rotten. When he was having his will made I told him to leave me the cat, his cat loves him but likes me and I always liked cats just don't really want one. He brings his cat to my house and the cat knows where everything is so would be fine here and keeping his cat would be a good idea and he doesn't need to worry about it outliving him. He is getting some pet steers, chickens and maybe a hog but I won't take them, I warned him I wasn't taking the other animals so they will die. I ordered him 22 hens and 3 roosters today from mypetchicken.com but some will have neck injuries if he doesn't like them, he was saying he needs to get a chopping block and make sure he has an axe so they may not all die of old age.

[mmhmm]

Mar 31, 2015 17:44:49 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Mar 31, 2015 13:30:17 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

LOL! Sounds so much like Sylvia. She came to us during an ice storm. I brought the poor, wet, cold critter in and she took to my mother. She spent all her time with mother and was a real boon in that regard since mother was mobility impaired and couldn't do much. Sylvia was always with mother. Now, she's always with me. I was glad to see she was able to re-establish a bond with me. I was afraid she'd mourn herself sick.

Dear your mom recently pass mmhmm?

Yes, Bonny. Mother passed away on December 2. She passed gently in her sleep. My daughter and I were with her.  She's at peace now.

[mmhmm]

Mar 31, 2015 17:13:38 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

One of the things that relieved DH was the fact that I love his cat. His ex would have tossed him outside the minute DH died. Although he doesn't love mine, he'd care for them if I died. Plus, I have kids who'd step up to the plate. One of the reasons I don't want to replace our critters as they go to rainbow heaven is because no one loves your pet like you do. My dad's dog died within a month of my dad dying. I'm sure from a broken heart. I cared for him but I'm not a dog person and didn't love him like my dad did. 

Cats, at least, will usually do just fine if they know the person who takes them. Some have a real problem switching their bond, though. Fortunately, mother's cat has lived here with the two of us. I was always the feeder and caregiver. Mother was the lap. Sylvia knows me, though, and knows I love her. She now sleeps wrapped around the top of my head, just like she used to sleep with mother. She really is a very sweet cat.

It's good you really care for DH's cat. I'll just bet that gives DH a lot of comfort.  

[zibazinski]

I know it does.

[Bonny]

Mar 31, 2015 19:18:49 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Mar 31, 2015 17:44:49 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Dear your mom recently pass mmhmm?

Yes, Bonny. Mother passed away on December 2. She passed gently in her sleep. My daughter and I were with her.  She's at peace now.

I'm sorry to hear of that but glad that she went gently.

[mmhmm]

Mar 31, 2015 20:42:38 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Mar 31, 2015 19:18:49 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Yes, Bonny. Mother passed away on December 2. She passed gently in her sleep. My daughter and I were with her.  She's at peace now.

I'm sorry to hear of that but glad that she went gently.

Thanks, Bonny. We were glad, too. Mother never suffered pain that I couldn't relieve for her here so she was able to pass here, in her home, with we who loved her. That was her wish and we were so happy to be able to fulfill it. 

[msventoux]

A couple of months after my mom died my father left out of state to shack up with a new girlfriend for a few months.  He didn't tell anyone he was leaving and abandoned the cats inside the house thinking we would figure out eventually that he was gone.  About a week later we did.  It was the final straw that caused me to cut off contact with him.  I now have two extra cats and no father.  I think I got the better end of the deal.