The Marriage secret no one wants to admit...

[ArchietheDragon]

Feb 24, 2015 11:47:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

It really pissed her off when I called her on my way to work one morning and asked her if she could pick me up and drive to me work because the cop that stopped me was towing my car

Did she make you hitchhike?

She actually handled it really well.   She has matured since we first met. 

[Green Eyed Lady]

LOL!!!

[Green Eyed Lady]

I'm not married anymore.  The one time I tried, it went to...you know.  I have to say, tho, I would not be married to someone who sought "revenge" for some real or imagined slight.  If someone spends their time trying to get revenge on their spouse, they should have waited till they grew up to get married.  Now, getting some satisfaction when "karma" comes around?  That's a different story!

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 24, 2015 12:00:37 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I'm not married anymore.  The one time I tried, it went to...you know.  I have to say, tho, I would not be married to someone who sought "revenge" for some real or imagined slight.  If someone spends their time trying to get revenge on their spouse, they should have waited till they grew up to get married.  Now, getting some satisfaction when "karma" comes around?  That's a different story!

Same here. Nor would I want to be with a "scorekeeper" kind of person; someone who things everything has to be exactly even, exactly the same for everyone. Sheesh, marriage is a partnership, not a playground fight. It's supposed to be fair, not necessarily always equal.

[jeep108]

My revenge is to call and remind him to find the paper and get it turned into his HR... It seems to work for us the last 25 years.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I don't "seek revenge" for every stupid thing DH does. Mainly because then I wouldn't have time in the day for other things.

I do my fair share of stupid stuff.  I am pretty sure that if DH ever murders me it's going to be over the fact that I never properly put the lid back on things and leave them half open all over the house.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I forget that cabinet doors shut the same way they open.  I remember when I turn around and get cracked on the head by the open door.  That would drive someone else crazy.  I also insist that the shower be wiped down after every use.  I'm really OCD about it.  I doubt that would go over well with a roomie either.

[wvugurl26]

Feb 24, 2015 12:18:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I don't "seek revenge" for every stupid thing DH does. Mainly because then I wouldn't have time in the day for other things.

I do my fair share of stupid stuff.  I am pretty sure that if DH ever murders me it's going to be over the fact that I never properly put the lid back on things and leave them half open all over the house.

No kidding you have children and a full time job.

My personal pet peeve is putting something back with just a little bit left. Why?!?! Just finish it up and throw away the container!!!

[Chocolate Lover]

Feb 24, 2015 12:29:03 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I forget that cabinet doors shut the same way they open.  I remember when I turn around and get cracked on the head by the open door.  That would drive someone else crazy.  I also insist that the shower be wiped down after every use.  I'm really OCD about it.  I doubt that would go over well with a roomie either.

Dad is forever shutting cabinets doors behind Mom. He's the one tall enough to whack his head, not her.

[wvugurl26]

Feb 24, 2015 12:32:25 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Feb 24, 2015 12:29:03 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I forget that cabinet doors shut the same way they open.  I remember when I turn around and get cracked on the head by the open door.  That would drive someone else crazy.  I also insist that the shower be wiped down after every use.  I'm really OCD about it.  I doubt that would go over well with a roomie either.

Dad is forever shutting cabinets doors behind Mom. He's the one tall enough to whack his head, not her.

Agh the landlord does that too. Leaves the cabinet doors open. It takes 2 seconds to close them. I consider myself short but I will still hit my head on them.

[Pants]

Feb 24, 2015 12:00:37 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I'm not married anymore.  The one time I tried, it went to...you know.  I have to say, tho, I would not be married to someone who sought "revenge" for some real or imagined slight.  If someone spends their time trying to get revenge on their spouse, they should have waited till they grew up to get married.  Now, getting some satisfaction when "karma" comes around?  That's a different story!

Yeah, I think the point of this article is that you can sometimes be stupid, or petty, and it's ok. 

It's a message you don't hear a lot, and I think it's a good one. Because I really do think most people get to this point - and if you think that getting to this point means your marriage is over, you're unlikely to move past it. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My personal pet peeve is putting something back with just a little bit left

We're both guilty of that.  I do that with the milk. 

DH leaves pop bottles everywhere with tiny bits of pop in them.  Drives me bananas so I started taking one bottle and filling it up with the contents of the other ones and leave it on the counter.   Then he wants to know where all his pop went.

[jeep108]

I throw things away or donate if we haven't used something in the past year.  It drives my husband crazy.


He has a two and half car garage and 3 steel sheds yet, I still have a kitchen counter full of tools and car parts.  It drives me nuts.  I cleared a shelf in his garage and started putting everything on the shelf that he leaves on the kitchen counter.  Want to see a grown man throw a fit.  Move his things...


He was tearing a motor apart over the weekend.  What do I find in his garage?  My muffin pan, he put all the bolts and screws and washers in it so he wouldn't loose them.  I guess I will have to go buy a new muffin pan and hide it.

[resolution]

We tend to disagree over stupid things, but so far have always been able to calmly discuss things. Our current stupid issues:

He thinks I drink too much water and he keeps trying to get me to cut back. I don't understand why he cares about water and I don't think it impacts him that I use the bathroom more than he does. We actually got into a heated discussion about this yesterday.

I keep nagging him to call Morgan Stanley to get his 1099R that we never received. I had to reschedule one tax appt and it looks like I may need to reschedule a second. He says he's too busy at work to call during working hours, so I keep texting him at lunch time asking him to call on break.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

garage? My muffin pan, he put all the bolts and screws and washers in it so he wouldn't loose them.

I've yelled at Dh and my dad for using my good kitchen knives to loosen screws around the house. How about you use something called a screwdriver?!

[Tired Tess]

One thing DH and I agreed on before marriage was to keep our mouths shut about each others family.

If he wants to vent or just inform me about something going on about his side of the family, I'm good to chime in and give an opinion.  

Other than that we keep our opinions to ourselves. 

[Peace Of Mind]

Feb 24, 2015 17:16:36 GMT -5 Tired Tess said:

One thing DH and I agreed on before marriage was to keep our mouths shut about each others family.

If he wants to vent or just inform me about something going on about his side of the family, I'm good to chime in and give an opinion.  

Other than that we keep our opinions to ourselves. 

Ours is opposite.  We agree that our family can be nuts/crazy at times and it's ok to vent about it without getting hurt.  We always take each other's sides.

Ironic but true - his family takes my side and mine takes his back when we had arguments/fights. 

And the REAL secret to marriage is keeping most family members out of it and not being fed up at the same time. 

[kittensaver]

Feb 24, 2015 12:50:12 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

My personal pet peeve is putting something back with just a little bit left

Me too. DH does this and it drives me crazy - only he takes it a step further.

He will LEAVE the bottle/jar/bag/whatever with just a teeny amount left in it and open a new one. Gah!

Many years ago when I asked him about this he confessed that he, his brother and his dad used to get yelled at by his mom for finishing up something (milk, orange juice, whatever) and not telling her about it. I pointed out to him that "not telling her about it" was the operant phrase, but it didn't make any difference. He has it firmly stuck in his fuzzy little brain (God love him) that he's going to get yelled at if he finishes something . 

Men.

[kittensaver]

Feb 24, 2015 13:33:21 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I've yelled at Dh and my dad for using my good kitchen knives to loosen screws around the house. How about you use something called a screwdriver?!

I have a funny story about this! We'd been married about a year, maybe two?, when DH needed a small screwdriver (I can't remember exactly for what now, but it was something quick in the kitchen). He opened the drawer and took out the Wustof paring knife (a wedding gift). Predictably, he broke off the tip. Rather than yell at him, I just looked at him and told him he could take me to buy a new one. I deliberately took him to a fancy knife shop where they don't do discounts. His eyes almost bulged out of their sockets when they rang it up - but he swallowed hard and paid for it. I said nothing . That knife cost him most of his personal funny money for that month.

In the subsequent 30+ years we've been married, he has NEVER used any kitchen appliance or implement as a substitute tool.

[Pants]

This reminds me that about 4 months ago I totally had this conversation with a friend. She said "well we don't fight like you two do." At the time I let it go, but they are trying for their firs kid - they've been married only a little more than a year. Yeah, we didn't fight that much then either, lol...

[Pants]

Btw, I forwarded the article to DH today. His reply was "wait, are we in a fight I don't know about?!?!?!" 

[tskeeter]

Feb 24, 2015 13:33:21 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

garage? My muffin pan, he put all the bolts and screws and washers in it so he wouldn't loose them.

I've yelled at Dh and my dad for using my good kitchen knives to loosen screws around the house. How about you use something called a screwdriver?!

Well!

For that they certainly deserved to be skinned alive, with the now damaged knife, and burned at the stake!


I'm that way about my knives, too.  I just cringe when my SIL's are around.  They'll get stuff that is stuck to the side of a knife blade off of the knife by tapping the blade on the rim of a pot.  And they don't do that with the back of the blade.  They tap with the edge that I spent two hours getting sharp enough to shave your legs with.  I love my SIL's.  So I cringe and grind my teeth a little bit.  I can always replace a badly damaged knife.  My SIL's, I can't replace.  So they get a dispensation from the knife sharpener for the way they use my treasured toys. 

[MarleyKeezy78]

One time when DH and I were still dating, we got into a argument and he went to leave and I jumped on his back and had my feet on the door jam and the door   I would not let him leave pissed off and at some point it became so comical we both started to crack up, I have no idea what the hell we were fighting about! We have had some dosy fights, but after almost ten years of marriage we have settled down. If we even get into a jokingly heated discussion DS freaks and thinks we are fighting, lol! I think he would lose it if we had a argument like the old days (just yelling)(well, and me crying ).

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

We have never argued about toothpaste.  Then again, we don't share toothpaste.

[thyme4change]

I try not to pick at my hubs for stupid stuff, like paperwork and stuff.  I do some scatterbrained stuff, too - plus I have other faults.  I don't want him judging me and picking at me for stupid stuff in my own home, so I figure he doesn't want that either.  What I have found is that if he loses something or forgets something, or whatever, it either has a quick solution (like printing off a copy and me signing it again) or something tougher to fix, and then he is pissed off at himself.  Either way, it saves me the trouble of getting all worked up about something.  

[OldCoyote]

Next month my wife and I will be married 49 years,    yesss, I'm going into sainthood , although I doubt my wife has the same opinion.

My wife has been happily married for at least 3 of the 49.   Ok, Ok I am exaggerating,  but at least 2 years.

Very early in the marriage my wife divorced me by ripping up the marriage licence, it was really funny last year when I applied and suspended my SS.

At the SS office she dug the pieces of the marriage licence out of her purse, with the very old pieces of yellow scotch tape dangling from the pieces of paper,

She explained that this left over from an old argument.

One of the reasons that I continue to run my business is she would kill me if I was around all the time,  But you already know that if you read any of my post.

 

[973beachbum]

I would love to post some funny story about how we fought over how he didn't put something away or clean something properly.  But for the life of me I can't think of one time anyone has ever cleaned or put anything anything away in our home except me. 

I will say that no one complains when they realize things have been thrown out though.  Then again they may not realize for a while that it was really thrown out just that they can't find it.  But make no mistake if I walk into the kitchen and there are some greasy auto parts and tools on the counter they are getting promptly thrown out!