Warning rant: Am I allowed to say anything anymore???

[Phoenix84]

While I do think those kinds of articles are a reflection of our hyper sensitive, don't offend anyone ever society, I also think articles like that are lazy journalism.  They're just filler some underpaid "journalist" can crank out in an hour at home without actually having to do anything.

[Deleted]

I don't think of myself as overly sensitive but I am a whole lot less tolerant of carp from folks than I used to be.  If you tell me, as one fellow church member recently did, that I don't know my parents because anyone of my ethnicity is a mongrel, we will have a problem.  I certainly know exactly who and what my parents were. Funny that the fool didn't want to share a lot about his lineage 

[imanangel]

Jan 3, 2015 21:03:02 GMT -5 @donethat said:

I don't think of myself as overly sensitive but I am a whole lot less tolerant of carp from folks than I used to be.  If you tell me, as one fellow church member recently did, that I don't know my parents because anyone of my ethnicity is a mongrel, we will have a problem.  I certainly know exactly who and what my parents were. Funny that the fool didn't want to share a lot about his lineage 

I am sorry..WHAT?!?!  They told you that people of your ethnicity are a mongrel?  I may not have been able to refrain from punching that person in the throat. 

[Spellbound454]

If you tell me, as one fellow church member recently did, that I don't know my parents because anyone of my ethnicity is a mongrel, we will have a problem.

I'd have a problem with that too...and would respond with "At least I'm not rude and ignorant"
I wouldn't take it to heart or be offended. Some people are just idiots....there's no hope for them.
If you know something isn't true....you don't have to explain or justify yourself to anyone who isn't worthy of your time.

I usually engage in fairly shallow social niceties....and don't really want to say something that might be off the cuff or offensive.
If someone does take offence, I'll apologise...there's rarely any malice aforethought.

Unless they have deliberately done something to piss me off.....then they'll know about it.

[Shooby]

That's why dogs were invented. To keep us company so we didn't have to expose ourselves to aholes!!

[Shooby]

  I have reached the point where I am completely sick of people. I have to listen to them yammer their stupid opinions and am supposed to sit by but nobody wants to listen to me yammer MY stupid opinions. Sooo, it either has to be a 2 way street or fuggetaboutit!

[Firebird]

More and more I find myself "reading into" things and that makes me wonder whether or not every phrase becomes a secret code to someone. Some people have "hot" phrases, or phrases they consider the "sugarcoated" version of what they really want to say. When someone else uses the phrase without intending or knowing the secret meaning, a button can be pushed.

This is totally true.

But I agree with midjd, a lot of people couch their unequivocally rude and inappropriate remarks/inquiries in "I hate having to be so PC!  Don't be so sensitive!" 

I've actually grown to hate the term PC, because it seems like it's used as a blanket coverall for everything people don't want to have to stop saying.  Examples - "that's so gay/retarded" (in a clearly negative context).  Is it really THAT much harder for you to come up with a word that doesn't malign an entire group of people?  And God forbid that you get called on it by someone who is "way too PC."

You know, some people amaze me with their ability to let things go.  Sam_2.0 has mentioned some jaw-droppingly unbelievable remarks she got from colleagues and family after her baby girl died, and she somehow managed to deal with them gracefully even though IMO she would have been well within her rights to punch these people out.  But on the other hand, why should she have to "deal" with people making horrible remarks about such a terrible tragedy?  Why isn't the responsibility on them to be kind and polite?  Do people really need a manual of "what not to say to grieving parents"?  Apparently so. 

I guess the bottom line for me is that maybe these articles about how to avoid being a jerk wouldn't be so necessary if fewer people felt the need to be jerks on a regular basis. 

[Peace Of Mind]

Jan 5, 2015 7:16:44 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  I have reached the point where I am completely sick of people. I have to listen to them yammer their stupid opinions and am supposed to sit by but nobody wants to listen to me yammer MY stupid opinions. Sooo, it either has to be a 2 way street or fuggetaboutit!

I ALWAYS read your stupid opinions!  I even like some of them.    

Firebird I agree about Sam_2.0.  After reading things she's dealt with in the past few years and how wonderfully she deals with life I've decided she's not human.  Nobody is that awesome and gracious!    I admire and respect her so much!

[Sam_2.0]

Aww, POM, that's really sweet of you. It's a good thing you all only know me online Hahaha!

[imanangel]

Sam is pretty awesome.  Even on the boards she shows so much awesomeness and grace.  I want to be her when I grow up.  

[NastyWoman]

Jan 5, 2015 15:12:55 GMT -5 imanangel said:

Sam is pretty awesome.  Even on the boards she shows so much awesomeness and grace.  I want to be her when I grow up.  

[Sam_2.0]

You all are very kind. I am feeling the love today

[Firebird]

Jumping on the Sam_2.0 love wagon!  (Okay, that sounds kinda dirty.)

I also wanted to say that while there's a huge difference between calling something gay and making a racial slur specifically directed at someone (most people would agree that someone has the "right" to feel offended over the latter), I do think that they are both important to call out and it's NOT a matter of being "PC." Language is important. Nuance is important. I'm not going to be the one to tell anyone what they SHOULD say, but you should at least know what you're saying.

I used to think it was way overkill when people would get up in arms about using the word "retarded" negatively, until I started educating myself on people with special needs and found out how that word specifically contributes to an environment which makes them feel less than human. There are lots of words that seem harmless, but actually have really bad histories of dehumanizing big groups of people. The words weren't the actual problem, but they helped to create an environment where it was fine to treat these people as less important/human than others.

If people choose not to care about that because "well, we don't treat them that way NOW, everything is just peachy for [x group] today!" then fine. But at least understand the connotations of what you're saying and why some people might find the terms offensive before you decide whether that's the kind of person you want to be.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"But at least understand the connotations of what you're saying and why some people might find the terms offensive before you decide whether that's the kind of person you want to be.":::...

This is predicated on the assumption that the sayer wants to avoid hurt.  I'm sure some people feel empowered by the words they use, and do so in order to get a reaction.  It makes them feel powerful to shock/hurt others, and in many cases is just them compensating themselves for situations in which they feel powerless.

[hoops902]

Dec 29, 2014 16:27:16 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Everyone is perpetually offended. So just don't bother. Or keep your conversation about The Bachelor or something.

Yes. Others don't need to run cpmmentary on someone else life. On the other hand a lot of slip of the tongues are just stupid faux pas with nothing meant whatsoever.

Agree everyone is perpetually offended, this is only a problem though if you care about offending people.

[imawino]

Jan 5, 2015 12:21:38 GMT -5 Firebird said:

But I agree with midjd, a lot of people couch their unequivocally rude and inappropriate remarks/inquiries in "I hate having to be so PC!  Don't be so sensitive!" 

I've actually grown to hate the term PC, because it seems like it's used as a blanket coverall for everything people don't want to have to stop saying. 
I guess the bottom line for me is that maybe these articles about how to avoid being a jerk wouldn't be so necessary if fewer people felt the need to be jerks on a regular basis. 

I could not agree with you & Mid more.  Honestly, the only people I know that complain about how everyone is "too PC" or "too sensitive" are generally just assholes who want to say rude things and HATE being called on it.  Yes, there are people who are extremely sensitive (or just have hot buttons about one or two specific things) but I run into them very rarely.

Seriously, if you are reading this and you are convinced that everyone around you is too sensitive, too pc, and inexplicably finds you rude - the common denominator is you and you may want to consider your words before they come out of your mouth.  We all say stupid, thoughtless and even rude things every once in a while, it happens.  But continuously offending people and refusing to consider that the problem might be you is just dumb.

[Firebird]

This is predicated on the assumption that the sayer wants to avoid hurt.

Nope, not everyone does.  That's why I included the caveat that I don't think it's a good idea to police language.  If you want to go around using racial slurs, knock yourself out.  If it makes you feel good to put people down, that's why we have the first amendment.

But people do make innocent mistakes ("wow, okay, I never knew that [x term] was offensive, thanks for explaining and I'll avoid it in the future") and such people shouldn't be lumped in with those who have been told their language is offensive and choose to continue using it anyway.