Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 20, 2014 16:01:35 GMT -5
Both DW and I come from larger families, so I can identify with houses full of people during the holidays. Or almost any holiday. To compensate, we have what I call "orphans parties". Round up everyone we know who isn't spending the holiday with their extended family to spend the holiday with our local "family". Christmas, New Years Day, Father's Day, Mother's Day, Easter, St. Urho's Day. Any excuse for a party. Tonight we're going over to a friend's house for dinner and Christmas decorating. On Thursday, several friends will be at our house for dinner. And we might follow the early dinner with making some easy holiday treats, like almond and peppermint bark and peanut brittle. Maybe we'll even introduce them to Krumkake. We used to do the "Orphan Parties" too when DH worked. It's been much quieter since we returned "home".
Growing up our Christmases tended to be small. We lived in San Diego and the rest of the family was in NYC or in the Washington DC area.
This year is going to be really small with just DH, MIL and me. I would prefer to have more of a buffer but our good friends are off to Sacramento and DH's cousin and his family are his SIL's house down in Santa Cruz. Thankfully we will be making the rounds this week so I don't have to referee the whole week MIL is here.
God, I sound like Peace Of Mind!
Brilliant? Drunk? The only resemblance I see is you have various thoughts in one post. But I like my MIL and never lived in San Diego and my family is from Pa and NJ.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 20, 2014 16:05:55 GMT -5
We used to do the "Orphan Parties" too when DH worked. It's been much quieter since we returned "home".
Growing up our Christmases tended to be small. We lived in San Diego and the rest of the family was in NYC or in the Washington DC area.
This year is going to be really small with just DH, MIL and me. I would prefer to have more of a buffer but our good friends are off to Sacramento and DH's cousin and his family are his SIL's house down in Santa Cruz. Thankfully we will be making the rounds this week so I don't have to referee the whole week MIL is here.
God, I sound like Peace Of Mind!
Brilliant? Drunk? The only resemblance I see is you have various thoughts in one post. But I like my MIL and never lived in San Diego and my family is from Pa and NJ. LOL, Both?
I meant relief with less family drama. What, you can't read my mind? What's wrong with you?!
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 20, 2014 16:06:51 GMT -5
Brilliant? Drunk? The only resemblance I see is you have various thoughts in one post. But I like my MIL and never lived in San Diego and my family is from Pa and NJ. LOL, Both?
I meant relief with less family drama. What, you can't read my mind? What's wrong with you?!
LOL!! Drunk?
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 20, 2014 16:13:20 GMT -5
I used to wonder what it would be like, to be the oldest generation. No more grandparents, aunts, uncles or parents. The very idea, seemed so odd. Now I know, and I don't like it! (((BIG hugs to all))) I used to feel the same about the passing on of the generations. When our grandparents were alive, our parents were the buffer between mortality and the belief of immortality. Then our grandparents died. Then toomuchreality, myself and others of our generation were the buffer between the older and younger generations, mortality and immortality. Now our grandparents and parents gone, and our generation is at the top of the mortality order. Not fun being there.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2014 21:56:41 GMT -5
We left original country so no family close. We count the pets for family and then it big gathering. I don't think cats like the drama that come with their cousin dogs visiting!
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Dec 21, 2014 4:16:18 GMT -5
My great grandmother had 3 children, only two grandchildren a and 7 great grandchildren. So growing up we had great grandma, her three kids, two grand daughters and husbands and us kids cousins were much younger so not always 7. So max of 17 people, large but not outrageous number. Great grandma and great uncle died first then grandpa, now my mom and dad and uncle so only one aunt left of older generation. Only one brother is local and he has 2 kids and 2 grand kids and a wife so this year will be just 7 of us and I will be the oldest. My brother always invites me so he isn't oldest. His wife had 6 brothers and sisters and lots of their descendants so the past 46 years or so we see them every couple of years about 30 showed for Thanksgiving this year. I watched her siblings grow from teens to grand parents so they are like family to me.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 21, 2014 6:47:49 GMT -5
When I was younger, I always dreamed of having big family gatherings. But my parents were only children and estranged from their parents (who were also only children). While I have (had) 2 sisters and 2 brothers, we were born so far a part that we never really knew each other. My oldest brother had a 6 month old son when my youngest sister was born (20 year difference). While it may have been fun when younger, I’m kind of thankful that I don’t have to deal with all the drama. I still love hearing of everyone’s gatherings, so thank you for what I may or not may not have been missing.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 22, 2014 6:49:23 GMT -5
When I was younger, I always dreamed of having big family gatherings. But my parents were only children and estranged from their parents (who were also only children). While I have (had) 2 sisters and 2 brothers, we were born so far a part that we never really knew each other. My oldest brother had a 6 month old son when my youngest sister was born (20 year difference). While it may have been fun when younger, I’m kind of thankful that I don’t have to deal with all the drama. I still love hearing of everyone’s gatherings, so thank you for what I may or not may not have been missing. I come from a fairly large family (9). When I was young, I always dreamed of being an only child. to me, at the time, that seemed like bliss. No one to mess with your stuff. No one to wear your clothes that you got ready the night before. No one to fight or argue with. No one to ride you bike and give it a flat tire The list goes on and on. Now I'm grateful for having had someone to borrow clothes from, someone to ride bikes with, someone to talk to in the middle of the night, someone to play games, or build a fort with, etc. I remember sometimes getting to open one gift on Christmas eve. One year we all got pajamas, or a night gown and a feather pillow. All the pajamas/night gowns were made of the same fabric, but were different styles. That year was the best! The year I got up, and found a brand new sting ray bike by the tree, with my name on it, that was another best moment for me. We used to have family home evening. We'd listen to Bill Cosby records or sing along with Mitch Miller and the gang. I loved going caroling. When my kids were young, the grandkids would act out the manger scene every year, many times, so each child got to play each part.. By the end of it, they were all crying. Good family. Good memories. Good times.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Dec 22, 2014 7:46:51 GMT -5
I would love to invite a bunch of folks over, like someone said an orphan party. I don't think DH's family would appreciate it though.
They seem to like to keep holiday gatherings to family only.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 22, 2014 8:31:09 GMT -5
When I was younger... We used to have family home evening. We'd listen to Bill Cosby records or sing along with Mitch Miller and the gang. I loved going caroling. When my kids were young, the grandkids would act out the manger scene every year, many times, so each child got to play each part.. By the end of it, they were all crying. Good family. Good memories. Good times. I remember the Mitch Miller Show quite well.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Dec 22, 2014 12:34:21 GMT -5
I used to wonder what it would be like, to be the oldest generation. No more grandparents, aunts, uncles or parents. The very idea, seemed so odd. Now I know, and I don't like it! tsketeer- How do you keep from becoming the go to person/home, for all the really needy people out there? I swear, every time I do something nice for one of my neighbors, they want me to do everything and I can't get rid of them. (so to speak) I don't mind helping someone, but I have my own life and problems. I don't want to be responsible for theirs too. Nor do I want them constantly at my place, or asking for things, or asking to use my stuff, or give them a ride. Why can't people just accept that you did something nice for them, then leave you alone, more or less? →new thread topic, I suppose. Sorry. BUT I really do want to know! (((BIG hugs to all))) TMR, we find we need to pick and choose. Some folks are so needy that they just comsume all the energy of the people in their lives. I've found that a single person can pretty effectively monopolize the lives of about a dozen people who are trying to give them some help. With those folks, you've got to create some distance so you don't spend your life trying to help some else live their life. With other folks, the entertaining goes back a forth. We'll be at another friend's home for New Years Eve. For some things, if we get too busy or are going to be out of town, we just don't do it that year. If someone else wants to pick up the slack, wonderful. But, we don't consider "orphans" gatherings an obligation. They are supposed to be a fun time with our friends and neighbors, not a chore.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Dec 22, 2014 13:42:37 GMT -5
Like a lot of you, when I was little all the grandparents and cousins lived in the same town. So Holiday and birthdays could be large groups. Now, not only are families smaller, they are scattered across the country. Again this year it will be DH and I and the 2 kids. At least they keep coming home for Christmas. DD will bring her boyfriend this year.
I have some hope tho. My kids are 27 and 28. So there still may be larger family gatherings if and when they have their own children.
My problem this year revolves around stuff. As I approach retirement, I am trying to purge and simplify. So I'm going though all my Christmas stuff as I get it out and decorate. My parents died 10 years ago. And my kids are grown. It is time to get rid of the kiddy ornaments. And there is some really, really ugly stuff from my Mom.
But it is so hard to part with this stuff. Especially at such a sentimental time of year.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 22, 2014 13:47:50 GMT -5
My parents used to host huge Christmases.
Mom is one of 4, dad is one of 3, each sibling has at least 3 kids. Dinner was a huge buffet spread in the dining room, kids and dogs running everywhere.
My grandparents are now dead, my cousins have their own families. Holidays usually consist of my and DH's parents, and my brother and his wife and kids. My sister lives 1500 miles away. It's kind of boring, lol.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 22, 2014 14:59:32 GMT -5
Like a lot of you, when I was little all the grandparents and cousins lived in the same town. So Holiday and birthdays could be large groups. Now, not only are families smaller, they are scattered across the country. Again this year it will be DH and I and the 2 kids. At least they keep coming home for Christmas. DD will bring her boyfriend this year.
I have some hope tho. My kids are 27 and 28. So there still may be larger family gatherings if and when they have their own children.
My problem this year revolves around stuff. As I approach retirement, I am trying to purge and simplify. So I'm going though all my Christmas stuff as I get it out and decorate. My parents died 10 years ago. And my kids are grown. It is time to get rid of the kiddy ornaments. And there is some really, really ugly stuff from my Mom.
But it is so hard to part with this stuff. Especially at such a sentimental time of year. Lynn, I have some pretty ugly stuff myself, but I understand sentimentally of it all. I decided to clean out/purge earlier this year and it was much easier to toss stuff when it wasn't tied to a holiday/birthday etc.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 22, 2014 20:02:18 GMT -5
I used to wonder what it would be like, to be the oldest generation. No more grandparents, aunts, uncles or parents. The very idea, seemed so odd. Now I know, and I don't like it! tsketeer- How do you keep from becoming the go to person/home, for all the really needy people out there? I swear, every time I do something nice for one of my neighbors, they want me to do everything and I can't get rid of them. (so to speak) I don't mind helping someone, but I have my own life and problems. I don't want to be responsible for theirs too. Nor do I want them constantly at my place, or asking for things, or asking to use my stuff, or give them a ride. Why can't people just accept that you did something nice for them, then leave you alone, more or less? →new thread topic, I suppose. Sorry. BUT I really do want to know! (((BIG hugs to all))) TMR, we find we need to pick and choose. Some folks are so needy that they just comsume all the energy of the people in their lives. I've found that a single person can pretty effectively monopolize the lives of about a dozen people who are trying to give them some help. With those folks, you've got to create some distance so you don't spend your life trying to help some else live their life.With other folks, the entertaining goes back a forth. We'll be at another friend's home for New Years Eve. For some things, if we get too busy or are going to be out of town, we just don't do it that year. If someone else wants to pick up the slack, wonderful. But, we don't consider "orphans" gatherings an obligation. They are supposed to be a fun time with our friends and neighbors, not a chore. Very well stated! I completely agree. I thought you invited EVERYone. In which case, you must certainly have a secret magic potion, to avoid getting wrangled in by those who are less desirable. Thanks!
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Value Buy
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Post by Value Buy on Dec 22, 2014 20:15:29 GMT -5
Like a lot of you, when I was little all the grandparents and cousins lived in the same town. So Holiday and birthdays could be large groups. Now, not only are families smaller, they are scattered across the country. Again this year it will be DH and I and the 2 kids. At least they keep coming home for Christmas. DD will bring her boyfriend this year.
I have some hope tho. My kids are 27 and 28. So there still may be larger family gatherings if and when they have their own children.
My problem this year revolves around stuff. As I approach retirement, I am trying to purge and simplify. So I'm going though all my Christmas stuff as I get it out and decorate. My parents died 10 years ago. And my kids are grown. It is time to get rid of the kiddy ornaments. And there is some really, really ugly stuff from my Mom.
But it is so hard to part with this stuff. Especially at such a sentimental time of year. Try giving some of the old stuff to your grown children. My parents did it when it was time, to us. Some of the tree ornaments are from my grandparents. There is one Santa light on an old string from my parents that burned out last year, that was from the late sixties. I know it was from then as it was always a favorite of mine. We have decided to thin out the trimmings this year. Not everything will go back in the basement. Some will go with the kids, some to the grandkids in January, but only if they really want it. My Grand daughter is in town, and she already has a couple of requests for "special ornaments" to go home with her.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Dec 22, 2014 20:32:05 GMT -5
That's like me - I had several "handed-down" or family "heirloom" ornaments - and I've already passed a few treasured ones on to nieces/nephews I know will cherish & care for them for the next several years and hopefully pass on to their kids some day.
My mom was an artist/painter as well, so I still hold onto a few of the ones she did - even in her later years, she was into making porcelain ornaments in her kiln which she hand-painted or air-brushed. I'll be keeping those as long as possible. When they do go, they'll also stay in the family.
Some of my old "commerical" ornaments that I've replaced over the years, have either been grabbed up by younger family members, or donated to pass on to a family in need of a few decorations.
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