Very loud music

[Ava]

I live in a townhouse. We share side walls with neighbors.
The unit right next to me was sold a couple of months ago. The owner bought it as an investment and rented it right away.
My new neighbors are nice, but they play VERY LOUD music.
Up till now it was Friday nights for a couple of hours. Okay. I've been putting up with that.
Yesterday they started earlier than usual.
I went to bed at 10:30 and I had to use earplugs because they still had the music loud.
Now it's Saturday almost 3:00 in the afternoon and they have been playing loud music for about 5 hours now.
I'm talking about the kind of music that it's so loud it vibrates in your walls and floor.
I cannot deal with loud noises, they make me feel very bad. My heart starts racing, it's that bad. I have earplugs on, the fan on, and I still can hear it.
I'm surprised they are doing this since they are a young couple with a baby.

I don't want to have a bad relationship with my next door neighbors but if that's the way it's going to be I need to do something. I can't spend my weekends like this.
I either talk to them directly or go to the condo assoc. president.
I don't remember the condo rules but there's something about loud noises.

How come somebody can be so careless about the people around them? I don't understand it because I'm always very mindful about respecting others.

Would you talk to them directly or go to the president and ask him to handle it?
I wish we had a management company because I prefer to let an outsider deal with this kind of issue, but we have been self-managed for a few months.

[The Captain]

They are renters in a rental unit.  I would go to the condo president and make it his problem.  He then should make it the owner's problem.  The owner needs to learn to be more careful in screening his tenants. 

I would even go as far as to insist on getting the owner's phone number if the tenants continue to create a nuisance and interefer with your quiet enjoyment of your residence.

The tenants and landlord need to be on notice at once that you are not a doormat and will not put up with nonsense.

[Ava]

That's what I thought, Captain.
I don't want to talk to them directly; it would be a very violent situation for me.
I also don't want to let this linger. The more time that goes by, the worst it would be.
I'll probably talk to the president this weekend.

[Cookies Galore]

Why would talking to your neighbors be a violent situation? Just knock on their door and politely let them know their music is too loud. If they're dicks about it then involve the condo board/landlord. I've dealt with loud neighbors before. If you don't open your mouth then they don't know there's a problem.

[seriousthistime]

I would talk to them directly.  I know someone who once went to a neighbor, nice bottle of wine in hand, and said she wanted to talk to them about the loud t.v.  They were receptive.  

The new neighbors are probably not aware of the loud noise rules.  I would let them know, give them a copy of the rules or have one handy to give them if they ask, so they know you're not making things up, and tell them you want to be a good neighbor so if there's anything you are doing that bothers them, to please let you know. 

What about neighbors on the other side of them?  Have you talked to them and asked if the loud noise bothers them?  If they've already talked to the renters without any resolution, then forgot what I wrote above.  Go straight to the president of the HOA.  Also, if you have any reason to believe they would become argumentative or aggressive (basically, if you have any past negative interaction with them or they seem to be involved in shady stuff), ditto -- ask the president to advise them of the rules, and maybe send a cc to the owner of the place.  The lease may have something setting quiet hours or require them to abide by HOA rules. 

Keep us posted.  

Many years ago I lived in an apartment, the woman in the apartment below loved Tom Jones.  Every Sunday starting at 10:00 a.m., she'd blast "What's New, cat?" over and over.  Once evening when I had people over, she came up and asked us to keep it down.  Maybe we should have played Tom Jones to drown out our voices?  It was not a pleasant conversation. 

[gooddecisions]

It could be they just don't know it's loud enough to disturb you. They may think they don't hear you because the walls are thick and well-insulated. My neighbor never had a clue I could hear his music because I was quiet as a mouse all the time. He was very nice and ask me once, but I told him it was fine. It never kept me up at night though. If they are nice, I don't see why telling them the music has been vibrating your walls and keeping you up at night would result in violence.

[saveinla]

I would first talk to the neighbor. They may not be aware that the music is disturbing you. I have done this a few times and it has always worked for me.

[seriousthistime]

Oct 11, 2014 14:04:08 GMT -5 Ava said:

That's what I thought, Captain.
I don't want to talk to them directly; it would be a very violent situation for me.
I also don't want to let this linger. The more time that goes by, the worst it would be.
I'll probably talk to the president this weekend.

Why do you think it would be very violent?  

If I were doing something to bother my neighbors, I would expect the courtesy of my neighbors approaching me directly, nicely.  If I thought they were going to start yelling or behaving irrationally, then yes, I'd go to the HOA. 

[Deleted]

I really sympathize and know what you are going through!  I also live in a townhouse and lived next door to "party girl".  The walls here are pretty thick but she was LOUD and her daughter was LOUD! And they fought constantly.  This was in addition to the loud parties and loud music.  In the summer the parties were out on the patio.  She grilled every night making barbecue.  The smoke filled my bedroom.  I know I shouldn't have, but I put up with it.  Until one night I snapped.  She and her daughter were having a loud argument (the kid had the shrillest voice I've ever heard).  I got up out of my bed.  Cranked up on the stereo some "Guns and Roses" as loud as it would go, then some "Doors".  Then the screaming stopped.  They finally moved out.

This was not the right way of handling it.  It was sort of passive/aggressive,

I would suggest that you contact the owner of the unit.  Often HOA's don't like to get involved, but if the owner can't do something, that's probably the next step.

[Ava]

Maybe I didn't express myself clearly.
They seem to be nice, but I don't know them at all.
I just say "Hello" when I cross them coming in or out.
I don't know about the neighbors on the other side, haven't talked to them.

The reason I said "violent" is because I find it violent to have to go to them and complain, even if I'm very nice about it. It's still a complaint. I'm not a confrontational person and I hate situations where someone is breaking the rules and you have to go out of your way and tell them. I don't like that at all. Even if there were no rules, when you live in a  townhouse, common courtesy dictates you should keep your music to a certain level. The fact that they don't tells me that they don't really care.

The walls here are like paper; I hear their conversations in the bedroom and the living room.
I hear their baby cry as if he were in my home. Of course I would never complain about a baby making noise. Playing extremely loud music, though, it's a different matter.
Maybe they are not too aware of the noise because it's just me and I'm very quiet. So they don't hear much, maybe they think it's because the walls are thick.

But the point is; once you are playing music that loud, you have to realize it is going to reach your neighbors. I'm talking about music that hits the walls, making that "boom, boom, boom" noise while the floor vibrates under you.

I don't want to go talk to them, maybe they are nasty, I have no idea. And then what, they are still living next door and playing their music loud. I mean the situation has the potential for turning ugly.

Do you think asking the condo president to go with me would be a good idea? I don't want to confront them alone.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I think you should talk to them first, you don't know that they are nasty.  Research your community noise ordinances so you know the hours that loud noise is prohibited.  I wouldn't go up to them antagonistically, just let them know that their music can clearly be heard in your unit and you might want to invite them in to hear exactly how loud thy really are.

If they are not receptive, THEN you start escalating with the condo president and the cops.  Until now, they have no idea that you are disturbed by thir music because you've said nothing.  That's not fair.

[gooddecisions]

I would be more pissed off at somebody who went out of their way to escalate matters that could have been resolved if they just politely said "Hi there, I live right next door and I'm not sure you're aware, but the music you're playing is really loud through the walls and vibrating my ceiling and floor, do you mind turning it down? _____ Thanks and please consider me a resource if you ever need anything. Have a great day!" I'm not confrontational either, but I'd rather handle it that way. Worse case scenario, they tell you to F--- off and then you go complain to the association. Going to the association will not bypass discomfort from you because they will know it was you who complained, so you might as well try the direct approach first.

[Happy prose]

Put a friendly note under their door. If they're normal, they'll stop. If they're jerks, go to management. Good luck!

[Tiny]

But the point is; once you are playing music that loud, you have to realize it is going to reach your neighbors. I'm talking about music that hits the walls, making that "boom, boom, boom" noise while the floor vibrates under you.

They may not have to yell over the music (as you might be thinking they are)... it's probably the bass speakers next to the wall or on the floor by the wall that you all share. It probably doesn't seem all that loud at all on their end.   They may think you are nuts - because it isn't that loud in their unit.

You might want to approach it from that aspect - instead of "your music is too loud! Turn it down!" maybe something along the lines of the bass from your home theater  or stereo system is audible in my unit and the floor is vibrating. Can you adjust the location of the speakers?"

It may just be a matter of them moving their speakers to a different location.

Do game systems use surround sound?  Maybe that's what you are hearing - the soundtrack to game(s) they play. 

[Ava]

Oct 11, 2014 15:50:25 GMT -5 Tiny said:

But the point is; once you are playing music that loud, you have to realize it is going to reach your neighbors. I'm talking about music that hits the walls, making that "boom, boom, boom" noise while the floor vibrates under you.

They may not have to yell over the music (as you might be thinking they are)... it's probably the bass speakers next to the wall or on the floor by the wall that you all share. It probably doesn't seem all that loud at all on their end.   They may think you are nuts - because it isn't that loud in their unit.

You might want to approach it from that aspect - instead of "your music is too loud! Turn it down!" maybe something along the lines of the bass from your home theater  or stereo system is audible in my unit and the floor is vibrating. Can you adjust the location of the speakers?"

It may just be a matter of them moving their speakers to a different location.

Do game systems use surround sound?  Maybe that's what you are hearing - the soundtrack to game(s) they play. 

I hadn't thought about that. 

And I don't want them to think I'm a jerk, because I'm not.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

I agree with Tiny.  I think it is the speakers -- either on a stereo or a home theatre.  The boom, boom that you mention seems to lean things in that direction.

So, instead of going over with a ton of pent up emotion (anger, frustration, worry, fright), take a moment to relax, go over with a sense of humor and a huge smile on your face, and tell them that the bass is "moving your furniture across the room -- even if you are sitting on it" and could they please move the speakers to an interior wall in their unit?  The idea is to exaggerate in an absurd and humorous way so that they get the message but they also get the message that you are making an effort to be reasonable and neighborly about it and not instantaneously confrontational.  Get it?  

It is entirely possible that they are genuinely unaware that the bass is traveling into your unit, so give them the benefit of the doubt and don't assume that they are being inconsiderate jerks.

If being lighthearted but direct about it doesn't work, then come back and let us know.

But, usually "one catches more bees with honey than with vinegar". 

[Pants]

Ava - it seems to me the solution to the majority of the issues you have can be boiled down to two words: Be assertive. That's it. You need to speak up for what you need out of life.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I agree with all here - don't confront the tenants directly. Is it like a duplex, where there's no townhouse/condo assn. or is there a company that manages the units.

My first option would be to find a way to contact the owner of the unit who's renting it out.

Sounds like the speakers for their stereo or surround-sound are against the adjoining wall between the two units.

We have town homes here, but they're mostly privately owned, and not run by a management company.

You might have to find a way to directly contact the owner who rented out the unit if it becomes a chronic problem.

[swamp]

Knock knock

 hi. I'm Ava, your neighbor. We haven't  met yet. Nice to meet you. I don't know if you realize this, but your music shakes my wall. Could you tone it down a bit?  Thanks. Have a great day. 

[Deleted]

I had a next door neighbor that use to have a lot of company, parties, whatever. These are single family homes, so we didn't hear much as long as they were indoors. But if they were outside, DD and I could hear it in our bedrooms because they're at the end of my house where the neighbor's carport entrance is. I don't care about people doing their thing, but if it was a school night and they woke DD and I up in the middle of the night, it was a problem.

I went over more than once when it got loud and asked her to keep the noise down. She didn't like it, but I didn't care. One night I went over there and so did the police officer that lives down the street. A couple of times, I didn't bother going over there, I just called the police because people had come outside and were arguing and fighting in her front yard and woke us up. Once, a fool started shooting a gun in the air during an argument.

I don't really like confrontations either, but I do have my limits about disturbing my peace in my home. I was nice about it at first, but she kept doing too much. I'd talk to your neighbors and be nice about it, and see what happens. If I were them, I'd rather you let me know there's a problem before you go tell on me, especially if you have a legitimate complaint about something I wasn't aware I was bothering you with. I try to give most people the benefit of the doubt, and assume they're decent people, just like I'd want them to give me the same. If they're unreasonable or nasty to you and continue with the loud music, then take your complaint to someone with some authority.

[TheOtherMe]

Oct 11, 2014 19:58:58 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

I had a next door neighbor that use to have a lot of company, parties, whatever. These are single family homes, so we didn't hear much as long as they were indoors. But if they were outside, DD and I could hear it in our bedrooms because they're at the end of my house where the neighbor's carport entrance is. I don't care about people doing their thing, but if it was a school night and they woke DD and I up in the middle of the night, it was a problem.

I went over more than once when it got loud and asked her to keep the noise down. She didn't like it, but I didn't care. One night I went over there and so did the police officer that lives down the street. A couple of times, I didn't bother going over there, I just called the police because people had come outside and were arguing and fighting in her front yard and woke us up. Once, a fool started shooting a gun in the air during an argument.

I don't really like confrontations either, but I do have my limits about disturbing my peace in my home. I was nice about it at first, but she kept doing too much. I'd talk to your neighbors and be nice about it, and see what happens. If I were them, I'd rather you let me know there's a problem before you go tell on me, especially if you have a legitimate complaint about something I wasn't aware I was bothering you with. I try to give most people the benefit of the doubt, and assume they're decent people, just like I'd want them to give me the same. If they're unreasonable or nasty to you and continue with the loud music, then take your complaint to someone with some authority.

[Deleted]

Maybe you can ask them if they will turn the bass down on their stereo or whatever they use.

For me, I can't always hear the actual music but I can feel the bass. When we first moved into the condo from hell, the dick downstairs would play his music and we asked him to turn down the bass and the problem was solved for us. THe walls were paper-thin in our place because it was an incredibly crappily converted 1890 house and they did jackshit for soundproofing. In our former bedroom, we could hear the guy next snoring!!! Now, you KNOW it's loud if I can hear it. I can only hear with one ear for God's sake! We changed rooms.

[toomuchreality]

The place I live in has about the equivalent of tissue paper thin walls. I try to make it a point to go over and meet/welcome new neighbors. While I'm at it, I let them know how thin the walls are as a heads-up, to avoid such problems, as the one you're having. If it comes across like you are wanting/trying to help them, they'll be more receptive than if you come across as a crabby old fart, starting problems.
I think if you don't go to them first, it looks like you're trying to cause them grief.

Maybe if you tell them to feel free to let you know, if they ever hear you (or someone visiting you) being too loud, it will help. It sounds like you're very quiet, so it will never happen. But they don't know that, they just moved in.

I don't like confrontation either. But I dislike being taken advantage of, even more.

By being assertive, more of your wants and needs will be met, without making others feel defensive/negative about theirs.  Adult to adult. It's a good thing!

Good luck!

[8 Bit WWBG]

Some noise travels and some doesn't.  I can't hear a baby that is on the opposite side of one wall, yet I can hear the howling cackling laughter of the idiot behind the other wall.

DEFINITELY ask nicely first.  You never know.  And it is very very important that you make the effort, because it will affect how you are viewed.

I had the same problem and I asked "nicely" but it didn't improve.  Remember that to a selfish person, ANY request that impedes their way is unreasonable in their eyes.  I got an attitude.  So I called in a noise complaint to the police.  Unfortunately, it was just within the parameters of OK based on the volume outside (nevermind inside) and the time of day.  So the neighbor didn't get in any trouble, and I was branded as the unreasonable curmudgeon.

I hope it goes your way, but if you need to fight dirty, may I suggest the following weapons of mass disruption:

[Phoenix84]

I'd probably talk to the Condo Association first, and then possibly the landlord.

[gacpa]

Leave them a note on their door, a nicely worded note.  If that does not do it, then get with the HOA and owner of the condo.  Are there any noise ordinances for where you live?

We will all be so happy to see you out of that place. 

[8 Bit WWBG]

By the way, if they aren't an end unit, then they have neighbors too.  Can you have a conversation with that neighbor just to find out if it is also a problem for him/her?  If you do have to get a higher power involved, it will help TREMENDOUSLY to have numbers.

I was not that lucky -- the other neighbor is buddies with the brain-dead idiot blasting the music.  That person actually told me that it was "nice to wake up to in the morning".  He made sure to help paint me as the aggressor with my disproportionate reaction.

Thankfully over time, its gotten better (or I've gotten numb).  Sometimes at night I can hear that deep murmur of the TV.  It makes me want to blast yodeling or polka or something.

Win some, lose some...

[TheOtherMe]

In condo/townhouse/apartment situations, I've greeted new neighbors and given them a heads up on paper thin walls.  The last place, I also told them to keep the heat up when the weather got below zero because the pipes in the bathroom would freeze and I had already had that happen to me.  

I had a situation where it was constant partying and I asked them to stop.  They did not so I did call the noise complaint people and they got a ticket because they gave her lip.  They were not happy but she told me to not hesitate to call if they kept on partying.  This was a townhouse that got sold to somebody who rented out a 3 bedroom to 6 college kids.  There were 4 units in the building and the other 3 were families.  None of us were happy with those college kids.  Guess they didn't like us complaining all the time to the association because they moved and the next tenants were a family.