steff
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I'll sleep when I'm dead
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Post by steff on Aug 11, 2014 14:29:06 GMT -5
Addressing, the OP, I wouldn't go so far as to call you arrogant, but on more than a few occasions, you have displayed an air of arrogance in your opinions - often immediately dismissing someone else's opinion as wrong in your eyes, simply because it disagrees with yours.
While your opinion may be more well-researched or right in many cases, it's the way you sometimes present it - like you're "talking down" to someone - not really arrogance per se, but more an air of "superiority".
Just my 2¢ ..... condescending and dismissive....yes.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Aug 11, 2014 15:06:56 GMT -5
Aw, you are just expressing your opinions Virgil. That's no different than many on the boards. There is probably a little bit of arrogance spread everywhere on some of the threads here. Now, you must take this from a venerable lefthander, who is always in his right mind. Furthermore, when the stars come into alignment on February 29th in that 4 year cycle Man, then I always got it right So, No, I don't think you are arrogant.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 15:16:09 GMT -5
I'm not sure I would call it arrogance, but you do come across with a little something I can't quite put my finger on. You seem to have difficulty understanding or emphathizing with things/situations that you or anyone you personally know hasn't experienced. Sometimes it seems like you think that if it hasn't happened to you or someone you know, it can't have ever happened to anyone at any time. I've also read you try to compare people/situations/emotions to mathmatical equations or something. I guess maybe math makes more sense to you than people do. I've mostly assumed that you've been blessed to lead a fairly sheltered life and that's where those things come from. That, plus you're a brainiac. Brainiacs are usually a bit different ime. That's my opinion anyway. If you're concerned about whether you might come across as arrogant, well I don't think a truly arrogant person would really care.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 11, 2014 15:25:50 GMT -5
Virgil, ask your loved ones. That's who you should be asking. We're just posters on a forum.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Aug 11, 2014 15:29:17 GMT -5
... Excepting discussions on sexuality-related topics such as homosexuality, abortion, sexual abuse, etc., do I often come across as arrogant in your personal opinion?
The set of excluded topics represents < 2% of my total contributions to the board, hence there should still be more than enough material left to make an assessment. ... Classic Sir Virgil: "Here are the ground rules I have established under which I wish for you to discuss whether or not I am arrogant."
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Aug 11, 2014 16:51:12 GMT -5
Thank you for the honest feedback thus far. It seems to be a mixed bag. A lot seems to depend on where the interaction takes place: the political board versus the other boards. To address a few issues: I excepted those categories since my posts there have occasionally been characterized as bigotry, hatred, misogyny, insensitivity, and even malice. Since all of these attitudes imply pride/arrogance, they would serve as obvious examples of feedback people might offer. But after several self- and external assessments, my confidence persists that my contributions to these topics are not motivated by any of the aforementioned attitudes. Ergo we immediately reach an impasse. I would have had to ask "Assuming you believed my contributions were motivated by a sense of moral indignation rather than bigotry, hatred, etc., and notwithstanding the stark fundamentalism of my views, would you still characterize my contributions as arrogant?" This kind of question sounds even more contrived than asking posters to ignore particular topics, hence I did the latter. I was honestly trying to lighten the mood in that case. Especially with the "Hunger Games" jokes, etc. But you're not the only one to tell me that I came across as arrogant. You'll note that I've agreed not to joke around in that thread anymore. I can accept that it isn't the right venue for it. I can definitely think of a few cases. DJ and especially Ahamburger tend to bring that out in me. mmhmm on occasion too. I'll be mindful of it in future. There should always be a way to express one's criticisms forcefully without being condescending. Empathy is a big "needs improvement" area in my life. I have difficulty empathizing with people unless I know them well. I tend to think of the world as having too much empathy--too much tolerance, too much "cushioning the blow", too much back-patting and "it's not your fault"-ing--as part of my conservative character. This much I doubt will change. But I also lack empathy in situations where I reasonably acknowledge that empathy is appropriate. Part of it is because I'm a man, and part is because I'm an engineer, and part is because empathy doesn't come naturally. These are all just excuses, however, and if the bottom line is that I'm not empathetic enough, that's the bottom line. Something else to add to the self-improvement list. I haven't seen any other requests for assessment. Come on. Jump in. Don't be shy.
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Aug 11, 2014 17:06:41 GMT -5
Well said. LOL! I've been called or have been told I'm about every category there is since posting here - both good and bad. I'm also very self aware but I'm also too lazy to change so I'll just believe the good ones.
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Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 3:38:08 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 17:20:36 GMT -5
LOL I get enough unsolicited feedback, I don't need to request it.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 11, 2014 17:23:04 GMT -5
I haven't seen any other requests for assessment. Come on. Jump in. Don't be shy. Isn't that what spouses are for?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 11, 2014 17:23:19 GMT -5
I don't see arrogance. I think @pinkcshmere put it very, very well. You have IQ, but you lack EQ, as I see it. On the occasions I find you to be condescending, it's usually because you've gotten a bit miffed because someone won't accept your viewpoint as an absolute. The topics you eliminated from discussion are the ones in which I least see arrogance. Instead, I see deeply held beliefs that are important to you and to which you are committed. That's not arrogance. That's faith. You seem, from my point of view, to be a person with strongly-held opinions and a rather narrow viewpoint. That, coupled with the lack of empathy, could appear arrogant; however, I don't see arrogance, at all. Stubborness, yes. Arrogance? Nah.
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Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 11, 2014 17:23:47 GMT -5
Thank you for the honest feedback thus far. It seems to be a mixed bag. A lot seems to depend on where the interaction takes place: the political board versus the other boards. To address a few issues: I excepted those categories since my posts there have occasionally been characterized as bigotry, hatred, misogyny, insensitivity, and even malice. Since all of these attitudes imply pride/arrogance, they would serve as obvious examples of feedback people might offer. But after several self- and external assessments, my confidence persists that my contributions to these topics are not motivated by any of the aforementioned attitudes. Ergo we immediately reach an impasse. I would have had to ask "Assuming you believed my contributions were motivated by a sense of moral indignation rather than bigotry, hatred, etc., and notwithstanding the stark fundamentalism of my views, would you still characterize my contributions as arrogant?" This kind of question sounds even more contrived than asking posters to ignore particular topics, hence I did the latter. I was honestly trying to lighten the mood in that case. Especially with the "Hunger Games" jokes, etc. But you're not the only one to tell me that I came across as arrogant. You'll note that I've agreed not to joke around in that thread anymore. I can accept that it isn't the right venue for it. I can definitely think of a few cases. DJ and especially Ahamburger tend to bring that out in me. mmhmm on occasion too. I'll be mindful of it in future. There should always be a way to express one's criticisms forcefully without being condescending. Empathy is a big "needs improvement" area in my life. I have difficulty empathizing with people unless I know them well. I tend to think of the world as having too much empathy--too much tolerance, too much "cushioning the blow", too much back-patting and "it's not your fault"-ing--as part of my conservative character. This much I doubt will change. But I also lack empathy in situations where I reasonably acknowledge that empathy is appropriate. Part of it is because I'm a man, and part is because I'm an engineer, and part is because empathy doesn't come naturally. These are all just excuses, however, and if the bottom line is that I'm not empathetic enough, that's the bottom line. Something else to add to the self-improvement list. I haven't seen any other requests for assessment. Come on. Jump in. Don't be shy. Maybe you should start a thread asking if you're superfluous and verbose? Kidding! Ish.
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billisonboard
Community Leader
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Post by billisonboard on Aug 11, 2014 17:29:18 GMT -5
Maybe a little music
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Aug 11, 2014 18:03:09 GMT -5
Thank you for the honest feedback thus far. It seems to be a mixed bag. A lot seems to depend on where the interaction takes place: the political board versus the other boards. To address a few issues: I excepted those categories since my posts there have occasionally been characterized as bigotry, hatred, misogyny, insensitivity, and even malice. Since all of these attitudes imply pride/arrogance, they would serve as obvious examples of feedback people might offer. But after several self- and external assessments, my confidence persists that my contributions to these topics are not motivated by any of the aforementioned attitudes. Ergo we immediately reach an impasse. I would have had to ask "Assuming you believed my contributions were motivated by a sense of moral indignation rather than bigotry, hatred, etc., and notwithstanding the stark fundamentalism of my views, would you still characterize my contributions as arrogant?" This kind of question sounds even more contrived than asking posters to ignore particular topics, hence I did the latter. I was honestly trying to lighten the mood in that case. Especially with the "Hunger Games" jokes, etc. But you're not the only one to tell me that I came across as arrogant. You'll note that I've agreed not to joke around in that thread anymore. I can accept that it isn't the right venue for it. I can definitely think of a few cases. DJ and especially Ahamburger tend to bring that out in me. mmhmm on occasion too. I'll be mindful of it in future. There should always be a way to express one's criticisms forcefully without being condescending. Empathy is a big "needs improvement" area in my life. I have difficulty empathizing with people unless I know them well. I tend to think of the world as having too much empathy--too much tolerance, too much "cushioning the blow", too much back-patting and "it's not your fault"-ing--as part of my conservative character. This much I doubt will change. But I also lack empathy in situations where I reasonably acknowledge that empathy is appropriate. Part of it is because I'm a man, and part is because I'm an engineer, and part is because empathy doesn't come naturally. These are all just excuses, however, and if the bottom line is that I'm not empathetic enough, that's the bottom line. Something else to add to the self-improvement list. I haven't seen any other requests for assessment. Come on. Jump in. Don't be shy. Have at me.
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Aug 11, 2014 18:27:41 GMT -5
I don't consider you arrogant.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Aug 11, 2014 19:21:47 GMT -5
I don't consider you arrogant, but most people here on this board think that I am, so my opinion may not mean much.
I have strong opinions, and I want to defend them. I want to debate, really debate with people and exchange ideas. The problem is when some people can't truly handle an exchange of ideas. Ex. I believe xyz because of abc. And not, I think this because I do.
If people don't agree with you, they see it as a personal attack. Sure, some things can't be debated, but most things can.
I think that you always argue with logic and proof. I don't see the problem with that. But most people can't seem to separate their emotions from their intellect. I find that sad, and arguing with those people are no fun, because they run off in a big huff or start becoming nasty and doing personal attacks. I hate nastiness, but I admire strong opinions and am truly curious about other people's logic.
But I would love to "argue" with you some day!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 19:47:16 GMT -5
Two people can have opposing opinions or ideas and still respect each other when they walk away from a discussion about those opinions and ideas.
Some people think they.know.every.damn.thing and are so self-righteous that when they encounter disagreement, their ARROGANCE makes them pretend that the other person has some kind of problem, they're inferior in some way because the self-righteous one could never possibly be mistaken, ill informed, or flat-out WRONG.
I'm not talking about Virgil here.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 11, 2014 19:55:07 GMT -5
I don't see arrogance. I see strong opinions that go against the grain here but not arrogance. Your opinions definitely aren't popular. But I see many posters on P&M on the liberal side that are just as passionate...they just have a bigger following.
Am I arrogant?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 20:01:36 GMT -5
I don't see arrogance. I see strong opinions that go against the grain here but not arrogance. Your opinions definitely aren't popular. But I see many posters on P&M on the liberal side that are just as passionate...they just have a bigger following. Am I arrogant? I don't think you're arrogant. I think you have some strongly held opinions that I don't always agree with, but just because I disagree doesn't mean either of us has a character flaw.
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damnotagain
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Post by damnotagain on Aug 11, 2014 20:07:25 GMT -5
Looks around and wonders what Virgil is up too! Clever yes , arrogant no!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 11, 2014 20:09:12 GMT -5
I don't see arrogance. I see strong opinions that go against the grain here but not arrogance. Your opinions definitely aren't popular. But I see many posters on P&M on the liberal side that are just as passionate...they just have a bigger following. Am I arrogant? I don't think you're arrogant. I think you have some strongly held opinions that I don't always agree with, but just because I disagree doesn't mean either of us has a character flaw. I definitely have strong opinions!lol. I'm just curious how I come across here. There are many people with strong opinions but there are only a few that I actually think are arrogant..actually only two are coming to mind.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Aug 11, 2014 20:13:02 GMT -5
Remember -- you asked. I think, in general, to be arrogant one has to have a deeply entrenched intention to control the conversation/discussion -- almost to the point of shutting it down when differing opinions/ideas arise. I don't see that in you. You might be a little rigid at times, but that is not arrogance. Rigidity is usually a form of passion, faith, or a lack of empathy (not the emotional form of empathy -- you have clearly displayed that on occasion -- but an weakness in the ability to put yourself in someone else's brain). Unfortunatley, one of the inherent weaknesses of electronic communication is the inability to see and hear nonverbal communication. For all we know, if we sat at a bar with you as often as we post with you, your vocal tone and facial expressions and body language would scream "ARROGANT ASSHAT". Or, they might lead us to appreciate your even tone and temperament and respect your physical restraint.
I think we need a board meet up with you to decide one way or another.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Aug 11, 2014 20:45:35 GMT -5
Not as much as I am, so I guess that's a, "No."
Actually, I think #32 and #39 have some good feedback. And no, I don't need to ask for myself. I am, definitely! (Although I am usually able to hide it, when I choose to....)
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Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Aug 11, 2014 21:05:22 GMT -5
I don't see arrogance. I see strong opinions that go against the grain here but not arrogance. Your opinions definitely aren't popular. But I see many posters on P&M on the liberal side that are just as passionate...they just have a bigger following. Am I arrogant? Yes.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Aug 11, 2014 21:42:59 GMT -5
I don't see arrogance. I see strong opinions that go against the grain here but not arrogance. Your opinions definitely aren't popular. But I see many posters on P&M on the liberal side that are just as passionate...they just have a bigger following. Am I arrogant?No, not at all.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 12, 2014 7:55:39 GMT -5
I worry less about you and nicely enough, the two attention whores are both gone now. Hopefully never to return. Well, I know the one won't.
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OldCoyote
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Post by OldCoyote on Aug 12, 2014 8:02:28 GMT -5
Vigil comes across as very smart and far less arrogant than others on this board.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 12, 2014 8:08:27 GMT -5
H has a differeñt outlook that I find interesting, even if I fnd it confusing or I don't agree. It makes me think.
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NoNamePerson
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Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 12, 2014 8:12:49 GMT -5
H has a differeñt outlook that I find interesting, even if I fnd it confusing or I don't agree. It makes me think. I misread this to say drink. Guess I need to put on my readers~!!
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zibazinski
Community Leader
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 12, 2014 8:23:17 GMT -5
Well, whatever works!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 12, 2014 9:20:15 GMT -5
I don't consider you arrogant, but most people here on this board think that I am, so my opinion may not mean much. I have strong opinions, and I want to defend them. I want to debate, really debate with people and exchange ideas. The problem is when some people can't truly handle an exchange of ideas. Ex. I believe xyz because of abc. And not, I think this because I do. If people don't agree with you, they see it as a personal attack. Sure, some things can't be debated, but most things can. I think that you always argue with logic and proof. I don't see the problem with that. But most people can't seem to separate their emotions from their intellect. I find that sad, and arguing with those people are no fun, because they run off in a big huff or start becoming nasty and doing personal attacks. I hate nastiness, but I admire strong opinions and am truly curious about other people's logic. But I would love to "argue" with you some day! Some of us don't have the energy to "argue" with you It takes me time to be sure I've gotten my thoughts down clearly and concisely if I really want to make a point. I'd prefer to not have to explain a post for the next 5 pages. I generally post from work or the Kindle, neither of which is conducive to good writing.
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