973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jun 3, 2014 10:09:47 GMT -5
I also went through this and it didn't end up with the kid with the perfect weight though. It also didn't work with me saying nothing either. DD also put on weight in middle school. She also stopped growing at about 11. IICR she was her eventual adult height in the 5th grade. So while there are girls who keep getting taller in HS it isn't as common for girls as it is for boys. From my experience chapperoning the dances in 6th grade and throughout middle school most of the girls were already a head taller than the boys by 6th grade. A few did continue to get taller after that but very few for the girls. The hard part is if I said nothing she just continued to eat, and consequently gain weight. If I said something though it would be perceived as me picking on her or not loving her the way she was type of thing. I tried incredibly hard to fill the house with healthy food and to encourage healthy eating and exercise. Man did that not work! It turned out that she was most active in elem school and went down from there. I know a few kids who were athletes who stayed that active but thruthfully it wasn't as many as I would have thought. The healthy food did get eaten but not in the way I would have hoped. She still loves salads. She just loves them covered in dressing. She loves things like fish and vegetables like brocolli and snow pod peas but when I wasn't looking she would the butter on them. so now I try and walk this weird line of pushing healthy lower calorie food while not mentioning the elephant in the room of her being 40 lbs over wieght.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 3, 2014 10:33:55 GMT -5
I had the same issue. DD always blames her metabolism. Well, shit, if you eat like an entire football team, you're going to look like you do. I had nothing but healthy food in the house but somehow, somewhere, she got crap. I couldn't watch her 24/7 but you can bet its MY fault somehow that she has weight issues. Now she is on her own and if she wants to pig out and look like one, so be it. She knows what she has to do to lose weight, same as I do. It's her choice.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jun 3, 2014 10:50:18 GMT -5
I should say that I am probably not a good role model in this because my answer to what I felt was a choice between bad or bad was to do nothing so I didn't feel like I was courting ruining our relationship. Once kids hit HS there is sooooo much time and junk food available it is literally impossible to control what they eat. So at that point I kind of gave up. I keep the healthy food in the house and as little junk as possible but other than that I don't mention it unless it is unavoidable like when she tried her prom dress on a week before the prom and had gained enough weight to make it not fit. Other than that I just hope that if she is smart enough to get grad HS with a 3.61 and into a good college she should be smart enough to realize she is going to have to stop all the eating and exercise before she kills herself.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jun 3, 2014 10:52:09 GMT -5
It's tough.
Growing up (no kidding) my brother could easily polish off a half gallon of ice cream drenched in chocolate syrup for dessert every night. For him a snack was 4-5 slices of white bread slathered with butter and smashed down into a "sandwich". He was a twig.
My sister was also able to eat pretty much whatever she wanted. If she was jonesing for chocolate it was not uncommon for her to open a can of cake frosting and eat it by the spoonful. She was also slender.
Meantime I didn't even get cheese on my hamburger, dessert was often nothing, or sugar free jello, and I would be asked if I really needed that when I put miracle whip on my sandwich. In the summer I would bike two miles to work each way, breakfast was an orange, lunch was often skipped, and I would eat dinner with my family only because I had to, and I was still very overweight. I worked a very physical job and still couldn't get even close to my target "range". When I was about 17 I decided I wasn't going to spend my life being hungry and miserable all the time and taught myself about better nutrition and decided to eat healthy and not focus on weight.
Yes I've been tested and told I'm boardline for thyroid and insulin resistance. Not enough to mess with drugs that may interact with other stuff I have to take so I deal with it.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 3, 2014 11:01:04 GMT -5
I should say that I am probably not a good role model in this because my answer to what I felt was a choice between bad or bad was to do nothing so I didn't feel like I was courting ruining our relationship. Once kids hit HS there is sooooo much time and junk food available it is literally impossible to control what they eat. So at that point I kind of gave up. I keep the healthy food in the house and as little junk as possible but other than that I don't mention it unless it is unavoidable like when she tried her prom dress on a week before the prom and had gained enough weight to make it not fit. Other than that I just hope that if she is smart enough to get grad HS with a 3.61 and into a good college she should be smart enough to realize she is going to have to stop all the eating and exercise before she kills herself. It is a tough balance. I don't have this issue with DD yet (although she is in the 98th percentile height/90th weight, so it may come up) but DH has struggled with his weight all his life. He is very sensitive about it so I never say anything (even when he says something like, "My pants are getting tight, I need to lose weight.") Lately it has been a struggle - he gained some weight after his meniscus transplant, and when he went back to the doctor complaining of pain, the surgeon basically told him that his meniscus donor didn't die so DH could ruin his transplant by being fat. He has lost weight before, and I know there's nothing I can say/do to make him come to that realization that won't damage our relationship, so I keep my mouth shut. Kind of like when he quit smoking - I could nag him until I was blue in the face, but if he didn't want to quit, there was no way to make him. Hopefully I will learn something in the next 10 years so I'm not so clueless about how to deal with DD when she goes through the same thing.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 3, 2014 11:36:08 GMT -5
I was basically done growing in 5th grade. I had a size 10 shoe and was 5'7". I eventually grew another inch at some point. I've been told by my PCP that I'm one of the few people actually big boned. I have huge hands, feet, long arms, thick bony wrists. Boy, writing it out, it all sounds so attractive! Anyway, I too had a chubby phase. My mother was very into the low fat/high carb diet fads of the time and I think that only contributed to it more (though I'm not blaming her for anything, she thought it was the right choice at the time). I remember never, ever feeling satisfied. I got myself out of the chubby phase at 15. I don't think there is anything anyone could have done or said, I wanted to change. I figured out what foods worked for me (not rice cakes) and started exercising more, though I think in my case the food change was the big one. It's been 17 years and two kids since then and I'm still about the same size as when I was 16, so I think it's working.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 3, 2014 12:48:55 GMT -5
It's tough. Growing up (no kidding) my brother could easily polish off a half gallon of ice cream drenched in chocolate syrup for dessert every night. For him a snack was 4-5 slices of white bread slathered with butter and smashed down into a "sandwich". He was a twig. My sister was also able to eat pretty much whatever she wanted. If she was jonesing for chocolate it was not uncommon for her to open a can of cake frosting and eat it by the spoonful. She was also slender. Meantime I didn't even get cheese on my hamburger, dessert was often nothing, or sugar free jello, and I would be asked if I really needed that when I put miracle whip on my sandwich. In the summer I would bike two miles to work each way, breakfast was an orange, lunch was often skipped, and I would eat dinner with my family only because I had to, and I was still very overweight. I worked a very physical job and still couldn't get even close to my target "range". When I was about 17 I decided I wasn't going to spend my life being hungry and miserable all the time and taught myself about better nutrition and decided to eat healthy and not focus on weight. Yes I've been tested and told I'm boardline for thyroid and insulin resistance. Not enough to mess with drugs that may interact with other stuff I have to take so I deal with it. Is this something your daughter needs to be aware of, for her own health? Not necessarily now but at some point?
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jun 3, 2014 12:59:53 GMT -5
Wisconsin Beth - My family/I have a few items DD will need to be aware of, this is IMHO the least worrysome. My family has a nasty history of spina bifida. Every generation as far back as we can go (5) has had at least one spina bifida baby, some more than one. My brother only lived until he was 5, most died within weeks of being born or were mis-carried. DD CANNOT have an oppsie pregnancy. She needs to be on at least 500% of the USDA allowance of folic acid for a few months before she even thinks about getting pregnant. She and I have already had this discussion when we were talking about "things", and we will have it again, and again. My genetic results when I had the amnio with DD were not good, which is one of many reasons DH and I (gratefully) stopped with the one healthy child we had. I took a chance getting pregnant with DD (and it was planned although I only took 200% of folic acid didn't know how much I needed) and put my faith in the universe. DD will have to decide if she's comfortable doing the same. So far she doesn't have any signs of asthma, , so I can hope she dodged a few other bullets as well.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 3, 2014 13:02:09 GMT -5
Wisconsin Beth - My family/I have a few items DD will need to be aware of, this is IMHO the least worrysome. My family has a nasty history of spina bifida. Every generation as far back as we can go (5) has had at least one spina bifida baby, some more than one. My brother only lived until he was 5, most died within weeks of being born or were mis-carried. DD CANNOT have an oppsie pregnancy. She needs to be on at least 500% of the USDA allowance of folic acid for a few months before she even thinks about getting pregnant. She and I have already had this discussion when we were talking about "things", and we will have it again, and again. My genetic results when I had the amnio with DD were not good, which is one of many reasons DH and I (gratefully) stopped with the one healthy child we had. I took a chance getting pregnant with DD (and it was planned although I only took 200% of folic acid didn't know how much I needed) and put my faith in the universe. DD will have to decide if she's comfortable doing the same. So far she doesn't have any signs of asthma, , so I can hope she dodged a few other bullets as well. I'm nosy, which you probably figure out by now. So thanks for answering.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 3, 2014 13:13:58 GMT -5
I had the same issue. DD always blames her metabolism. Well, shit, if you eat like an entire football team, you're going to look like you do. I had nothing but healthy food in the house but somehow, somewhere, she got crap. I couldn't watch her 24/7 but you can bet its MY fault somehow that she has weight issues. Now she is on her own and if she wants to pig out and look like one, so be it. She knows what she has to do to lose weight, same as I do. It's her choice. Yeap, like mine she always 'eating salads?'...omitting to mention burger next to it? I told my DD - it is your choice that you are having bit more than you should and YOU KNOW WHY!!! So please, be happy fat woman OR grow up and realize you are the size you eat you into! I can't stand when they are whining 'I am fat' sitting with friends at midnight munching on food. Whatever food is that - it is past midnight and you are not supposed to be munching! Watch TV and have bottle of water next to you!!! if I could only be as smart as I sound
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 3, 2014 13:25:02 GMT -5
Well, DD went to a dietician. She didnt like what she said but.....I didn't say it!! So I'm off the hook!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 3, 2014 14:15:08 GMT -5
I have extra weight but I had NEVER said I don't know why. I love food more than...whatever is that skinny people living for... So when people here are saying cut sugars - WRONG for those kids who running track and playing rough games and on the go all day. Those can eat a whole cake and still be fit. For those who sit on their but in front of computer - they must not eat. Like almost no food should be given to them except some soup and cereal. One day soup - one day cereal. Isn't this understood and if not - how come? Preservation of energy should be punished by starvation. That's it. And no, low fat milk will not make no one skinnier. Do not kid yourselves...
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jun 3, 2014 16:58:06 GMT -5
It sounds to me like Captain and her DH are already doing everything they can to give their DD the keys to a healthy lifestyle. Healthy diet/moderate excercise.
I have always maintained a healthy weight as an adult until I developed thyroid cancer and my thyroid was removed. I have struggled more since going on synthetic hormones. In order to maintain a healthy weight I watched my diet religiously and excercised regularly.
I recently went up way above a healthy weight for me. I have about 10 pounds to lose to get back to the top of my healthy weight range. I am having a hard time getting to the gym on weekdays and I am 50 now and I have something else going on...don't know if it is arthritis or something else but when I am on my feet too long my feet just hurt so bad. I am taking Naproxim Soduim regulaly now to help with this - it was prescribed several years ago for tendinitis I was experiencing when excercising. Tendinitis is in control now that I only excercise one day a week, so I will see about ramping up the excersice.
But, Diet and excercise are key. No Junk like chips and cookies. No fried food. No dairy products. I did this most of my adult life along with excercising. I don't starve my self, but I was able to maintain a healthy weight. I put on lbs in the last few years but I am watching what I eat again and cut out Alchohol and it is coming off with very little effort...it just takes time to lose weight in a healthy manner - a few lbs a week. If you starve yourself, your body will break down muscle tissue like your heart and you will end up with bigger problems than being overweight.
What you should not do is obsess about your kids weight/body image, but to go to the other extreme and not talk about what is healthy/unhealthy and how to maintain a healthy weight is unrealistic imho. My Grandmother watched what she ate, and my Mother is still dieting in her Mid 70's. So now we have a generation of girls who won't be overweight if they never face up to how to maintain a healthy weight?
Sadly thought my DH is borderline diabetic, he takes metroformin and I swear I never see him eat. He made dinner for the family Sunday night and then went accross the street and "shared" his tacos with the neighbor and had a beer. Don't focus on the beer, I don't think he drinks it, he kind of sips occasionally and leaves a full glass. I have cleaned up plenty of nearly full stale beers in the last year or so. So I asked him if he ate/why he did not eat with us and he said the neighbor invited him for a beer when he was cutting the lawn and it had been quite awhile and he was already sitting on the porch, so he went over with tacos to "share". I am not with him 24/7 and he is not usually home when I get home from work, so que sera sera. He works on Saturdays in the Am/early afternoon and if I ask if he ate he always says yes, IDK. whatever. DH used to be slightly overweight, but he has to be in his correct weight range now. I asked him at Christmas if he was a smaller size and he said no, but I bet he lost at least 30 lbs.
Like Zib, I worry about DD b/c she seems to be alergic to excercise. Thankfully her friends belong to the gym and they are dragging her along (I have tried to get her to go with me, and that is a no go). Which is Why I think Captain can carry on with the status Quo and hope her DD will get the message from other environmental ques. ETA DD is 5'1" and about 117 lbs so she is in her target weight range - I just worry b/c she eats more junk than I did at her age and does no excercise...but I did not discover excercise as a weight managment tool until I was at least 25.
My DN and his wife have a 5 year old and a 3 year old and they have family excercise days/events. DN's wife was teaching excercise classes for awhile and they started "family" walks with the other class members so they could excercise on Sat and not have to have a babysitter for the kids. They have a workout planned like 10 sit ups, 10 push ups, 20 jumping jacks, frog walk accross the room etc, etc.
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sunshinegal1981
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Post by sunshinegal1981 on Jun 5, 2014 9:03:32 GMT -5
The detail that jumped out to me in your 'sample menu', was that the only vegetable your DD had all day was a bit of broccoli at dinner. (*Not meant to be a swipe, just a question to provoke thought: Why do you seem so concerned about having her meet her "grain" requirements (by keeping the cereal in), but you don't seem to be as bothered to meet her daily vegetable needs?) If I was the meal-fairy at your house, I would make the following two (but ONLY two!) changes: 1) Reduce current portions to ~70% of their current size. 2) Fill in the remainder with massive amounts of veggies, especially raw. At EVERY meal. (Also, teaching by example is 1000% more effective than anything else. So... salads for everyone in the house!) Good luck!
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Jun 5, 2014 10:07:56 GMT -5
I didn't want to hijack swasat's thread so decided to start my own. This past weekend when we were doing yard work she had a bowl of cereal (about two cups) with milk for breakfast. Snack was s large apple and a glass of milk. Lunch was a banana, hard boiled egg, piece of string cheese, and a glass of milk. Next snack - another glass of milk. Dinner was grill planked salmon, broccoli, and mashed taters with a glass of fruit juice. Dessert - Milk and a piece of bakhlava (sp). That is about 3 times more food then 11 y/old must have in one day. Anyone with me? Nope. I actually think she could use more (different) food. I'm thinking she needs some more veggies as a filler and to up the vitamins. The only (real) veggie I see is broccoli with dinner. How about cucumbers and peppers and cherry tomatoes diced up with some hummus? Or a slaw style wrap with cabbage, carrots and some tofu? Also, someone else mentioned nuts, that is also good for protein. Maybe up the complex carbs and whole grains. Not sure what kind of cereal it is but even if it is 'healthy' there can be a lot of sugar and useless crap in there. If she likes eggs, scrambled eggs in a small wrap with salsa can be a good breakfast. I definitely wouldn't worry about 'pudge' as long as she has good basic nutrition and is active. She'll grow out then up then out then up.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jun 5, 2014 10:21:19 GMT -5
We serve cucumbers with lime squeezed over them and sprinkled with salt. Everyone likes them. Jicama is served the same way...DD says they try to serve it plain in the school lunch room and no one eats it. DUH!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jun 5, 2014 14:05:22 GMT -5
It doesn't seem like a lot of food to me, but I never struggled with weight and ate all kinds of junk.
I got sick of traditional salads with lettuce awhile ago. I would drown it in ranch dressing or something equally as bad and still didn't really like it. Now I do 3 ingredient salads and skip traditional dressing and lettuce. Right now I'm munching on cherry tomatoes (cut in half), basal and mozzarella w/ vinegar salad and it is addictive. Tomorrow, I'll boil some corn on the cob and cut off the corn, peel and cut up a cucumber and cut up cilantro to mix with vinegar and lemon. Feta would be good with this combination, but I ran out and it would break my 3 ingredient rule anyway. Bonus, I don't end up with a bunch of produce that goes bad.
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