Benefit for Autism

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I think it was Lena, who wanted me to report back as to the benefit that we went to last night.

The benefit is FACES, which is a local benefit for autistic children.  It provides a summer camp for children.  This is the link for the event and what the mission of this group is.  It is largely a group of very dedicated parents.

www.facesnorthwest.com/

There was an incredible turn out last night.  The $75 ticket provided us with an open bar, and a VERY good filet dinner (I really need to figure out the compound butter that they had on the filet).  Vegetarians received risotto, which looked very good too.

There was a silent auction for a lot of small stuff, everything donated by the local businesses.  Some were some very nice baskets.  I bid on a cat basket for my new cat (didn't get it, got sniped dammit) and a silver necklace.  TD bid on a planter, a beer basket, an American flag that he won.  

During dinner, there was an auction for the more expensive goodies.  We bid on quite a few things, but won the weekend with the Porsche (which was the whole purpose of this), a CSA basket from June through Nov. along with 20 lbs of fresh seafood and 40 lbs of local berries, a whale watching weekend in Anacortes, 2 cases of wine.  I bid on a set of Adirondack chairs, but bailed when the cost went over $700.  In all, it was a very fun evening....especially when the neighbor and TD got into a couple of bidding wars for their wanted toys.

The one thing that I walked away from this was that there was absolutely NO recrimination of any of the parents with regards to their children.  Honestly, the only thing I walked out of there was that there was an incredible amount of love for these children who have a very difficult life ahead of them.  Not a single mention was made of vaccines causing the problem, or the lack of government help/response.  NOT ONE, and we were seated at a table of 8 other parents of afflicted children and talked to a lot of other people as well.

It was not a cheap evening for us, about $4000 was spent but it was for a very good cause.  We will be going back next year, because this looks like one group that does a very good job of trying to make things work, rather than to point fingers.

It makes a world of difference.

[Deleted]

I'm glad you had a good time. It sounds like a great event.

I will caution though, that parents who can pay 75$ a head
and guests who can spend 4k donating, are less likely to be in the population struggling with the impact of the disorder.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Apr 20, 2014 13:55:19 GMT -5 oped said:

I'm glad you had a good time. It sounds like a great event.

I will caution though, that parents who can pay 75$ a head
and guests who can spend 4k donating, are less likely to be in the population struggling with the impact of the disorder.

I'd really disagree with you about those struggling with autism are only those who can't afford a $75/place dinner and auction.  It appears that it crosses all SES borders, and while most of these parents have financial resources to help deal with the issue, having money isn't everything.  The guy that sat next to me (his wife was on the board) attended for the first time this year....because they finally found someone who could handle their son for the evening or the first time in 6 years.

The camp is free for any autistic child n the county, regardless of SES.

[NastyWoman]

Apr 20, 2014 13:55:19 GMT -5 oped said:

I'm glad you had a good time. It sounds like a great event.

I will caution though, that parents who can pay 75$ a head
and guests who can spend 4k donating, are less likely to be in the population struggling with the impact of the disorder.

I think that I disagree with you oped.  To me your comment sounds synonymous to telling a parent who has lost a child "at least you have another one to love, just imagine if this were your only child".  I don't believe you would say that to a grieving parent, but this really is much the same.    Having financial resources may make access to certain forms of help easier, but it does not negate the need for, qualified, help to give both the affected child, and the rest of its family some much needed help. 

[whoisjohngalt]

yes, it was me and thank you so much for reporting back!!

[Deleted]

I think some of you are misreading Oped's post.  I think what she (or is he? I forget sometimes) is trying to say that most parents with a kid with autism can't afford $4075 for this event.  They are busy paying for their child to get help.

Meanwhile . . . and don't take this entirely the wrong way . . . what did the event COST?  I know they coaxed a lot of people with filets and events with a Porsche.  But is that what it takes for people to be this generous?  What if someone had asked these same people, "Would you be willing to write a $2500 check to the Autism Association (or whatever) and let 100% go for the kids?"

Would YOU have been willing to?  That's not an accusation.  It just seems so much money is "wasted" that could be spent on the charity but is necessary to entice donors.  It honestly puzzles me, but I guess I am not the target group.

Obviously, I don't understand/attend/ whatever charitable events like this.  And I'm not trying to be mean.  But if I had $4,000 to give to this particular charity, I would have simply written a check.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2014 13:00:27 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

The one thing that I walked away from this was that there was absolutely NO recrimination of any of the parents with regards to their children.  Honestly, the only thing I walked out of there was that there was an incredible amount of love for these children who have a very difficult life ahead of them.  Not a single mention was made of vaccines causing the problem, or the lack of government help/response.  NOT ONE, and we were seated at a table of 8 other parents of afflicted children and talked to a lot of other people as well.

It was not a cheap evening for us, about $4000 was spent but it was for a very good cause.  We will be going back next year, because this looks like one group that does a very good job of trying to make things work, rather than to point fingers.

It makes a world of difference.

I was mostly responding to these things, esp. Bolds.. It's easier to do things, mitigate the challenges, and do so without assistance, if you have money. It just is. 

Just because some people might get frustrated by the process, doesn't mean they are bad parents ... Nor should it be that parents who are struggling are not allowed to complain or lament... 

Mostly I think it's just a stab at les... And while I might not agree with everything les says and does. I don't think taking a specific demographic and attempting to generalize is a good idea...

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Meanwhile . . . and don't take this entirely the wrong way . . . what did the event COST? I know they coaxed a lot of people with filets and events with a Porsche. But is that what it takes for people to be this generous? What if someone had asked these same people, "Would you be willing to write a $2500 check to the Autism Association (or whatever) and let 100% go for the kids?"

How can one NOT take what you said the wrong way.  Quite frankly, I think it was somewhat rude for someone who was not there.

EVERYTHING was donated, susana.  Everything.  Including the Porsche rental.  I imagine that the dinner was about 50% of the ticket.  I figure that about 150-200 attended, and we did not spend anywhere near the most that was spent.  It would not surprise me to hear that the event brought in over $200k after expenses are paid out.  Of the $4000 that we spent, about $3900 went directly to the foundation.  

But look at it this way.....We could have written a check and be done with it.  Attending this event definitely piqued MY interest.  I don't know what I can do, but knowing how this works make me more inclined to help, and I don't have a horse in this game at all.

We write a lot of checks to various charities in this city, somewhere to the tune of about 10%, none of which is via a benefit like this.  So if someone puts more effort into an event, to make it more enjoyable, tell me what is wrong with that.

The one thing that I like is that this is going to stay 100% local.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Apr 20, 2014 18:09:45 GMT -5 oped said:

Apr 20, 2014 13:00:27 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

The one thing that I walked away from this was that there was absolutely NO recrimination of any of the parents with regards to their children.  Honestly, the only thing I walked out of there was that there was an incredible amount of love for these children who have a very difficult life ahead of them.  Not a single mention was made of vaccines causing the problem, or the lack of government help/response.  NOT ONE, and we were seated at a table of 8 other parents of afflicted children and talked to a lot of other people as well.

It was not a cheap evening for us, about $4000 was spent but it was for a very good cause.  We will be going back next year, because this looks like one group that does a very good job of trying to make things work, rather than to point fingers.

It makes a world of difference.

I was mostly responding to these things, esp. Bolds.. It's easier to do things, mitigate the challenges, and do so without assistance, if you have money. It just is. 

Just because some people might get frustrated by the process, doesn't mean they are bad parents ... Nor should it be that parents who are struggling are not allowed to complain or lament... 

Mostly I think it's just a stab at les... And while I might not agree with everything les says and does. I don't think taking a specific demographic and attempting to generalize is a good idea...

Sigh....it was not a stab at Les.  It is easier to try to solve problems when you are proactive, and work within your parameters than it is to point fingers and rail at the public in general.

When you are pissed, it makes people less inclined to help you, simple as that.  If this benefit was full f recriminations of what one cannot o, and how they are getting screwed by the government, placing blame everywhere, the benefit would not have been as near a positive experience.  

Which experience do you think people would be more inclined to give?

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2014 15:54:24 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Apr 20, 2014 13:55:19 GMT -5 oped said:

I'm glad you had a good time. It sounds like a great event.

I will caution though, that parents who can pay 75$ a head
and guests who can spend 4k donating, are less likely to be in the population struggling with the impact of the disorder.

I'd really disagree with you about those struggling with autism are only those who can't afford a $75/place dinner and auction.  It appears that it crosses all SES borders, and while most of these parents have financial resources to help deal with the issue, having money isn't everything.  The guy that sat next to me (his wife was on the board) attended for the first time this year....because they finally found someone who could handle their son for the evening or the first time in 6 years.

The camp is free for any autistic child n the county, regardless of SES.

My only babysitting job in college was a favor for a high school friend who went to college out of state for a family with an autistic son and a younger daughter.  My ex's brother had autism and she thought I could handle whatever the boy threw at me.  And mostly I did, though early in the time with them I did have to have him call his mom to calm down.  It can be very hard to find qualified, willing, stable babysitters, even if you can afford to pay well (which they did).   If I did not have my daughter, maybe that would be a nice side hustle, connecting with families who need a night out.

[busymom]

Thanks for donating to a good cause!

I'm among the parents who were strapped for cash, trying to afford the therapies our insurance wouldn't cover, or that they only paid for so many hours per year. We were deeply in debt until the fall of 2011, when we finally paid off our last credit card bill. Now, we're trying to catch up on retirement contributions, & helping our oldest through college.

I've thought for a long time that if someone opened a day care for older kids with autism (DS is taller than me, now), that would provide a great service, & be a great business opportunity for someone.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2014 18:36:26 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Meanwhile . . . and don't take this entirely the wrong way . . . what did the event COST? I know they coaxed a lot of people with filets and events with a Porsche. But is that what it takes for people to be this generous? What if someone had asked these same people, "Would you be willing to write a $2500 check to the Autism Association (or whatever) and let 100% go for the kids?"

How can one NOT take what you said the wrong way.  Quite frankly, I think it was somewhat rude for someone who was not there.

EVERYTHING was donated, susana.  Everything.  Including the Porsche rental.  I imagine that the dinner was about 50% of the ticket.  I figure that about 150-200 attended, and we did not spend anywhere near the most that was spent.  It would not surprise me to hear that the event brought in over $200k after expenses are paid out.  Of the $4000 that we spent, about $3900 went directly to the foundation.  

But look at it this way.....We could have written a check and be done with it.  Attending this event definitely piqued MY interest.  I don't know what I can do, but knowing how this works make me more inclined to help, and I don't have a horse in this game at all.

We write a lot of checks to various charities in this city, somewhere to the tune of about 10%, none of which is via a benefit like this.  So if someone puts more effort into an event, to make it more enjoyable, tell me what is wrong with that.

The one thing that I like is that this is going to stay 100% local.

You are right. I was not there so I don't know this particular organization's vibe. Certainly, they piqued your interest.

I just am not into events, which I think I said.  I'm not that social. I help sponsor a literary festival at my alma mater. Paying $50 to sponsor gets us two free meals. I write the check and say "skip the meals."  I figure if it is a worthy cause, I don't need a carrot to get me to contribute.

But for you, this was apparently a social event that you enjoyed very much.

Good for you!    I mean that in the least snide way possible.  Like my other post, it's hard to type that without someone taking it the wrong way, but it's honestly not meant like that.  It was just a question. We are on the internet where tone is impossible to interpret.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

You have to understand from my point these days. I'm in a new town and as I can't work, I don't get to meet a lot of people and I left my social circle in KY, so I really don't have any friends in this town yet. The way I normally meet them is through work, or working out - neither of which I can do anymore. I'm much more of a sociable person than TD, so I can't use his circle as he really doesn't have one. It WAS nice to get out and meet people.

Hmmm......I do wonder if that's the reason why I enjoyed it so much?

[JustLurkin]

Apr 20, 2014 20:06:54 GMT -5 busymom said:

I've thought for a long time that if someone opened a day care for older kids with autism (DS is taller than me, now), that would provide a great service, & be a great business opportunity for someone.

Our park and planning office offers it.  Kinda like the Y, only the parks.