And yet another Microsoft call.....

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Despite having a few things supposedly in my hat to say to the next Microsoft technical support, I totally blanked on them.  However, my off the cuff responses were enough to keep me snickering for the last few minutes.

Me:  Hello
MS:  This is Microsoft technical support, calling you to tell you that we are getting error messages with your computer.
Me:  How is that so?
MS:  Oh, we have that ability.
Me:  Really?  I don't have a computer.
MS:  You don't have a computer?  I don't believe that.
Me:  I don't.  Computers are evil.  They are the mark of the devil.
MS:  Uhhhhhh......
Me:  Yeah, they're the mark of the devil.  If you have a computer, you're going to hell.  All computers are is a series of 666 all over the place.  Haven't you seen the Omen?  Same thing.  If you want to wind up like Damien's parents, have a computer.
MS:  Does this mean that you're not computer literate?
Me:  If I think computers are evil, do you think I'd use one?
MS:  You have really not used a computer?
Me:  I'd sooner cut off my hand.
MS:  I don't know what to say.....
Me:  BAZINGA!


This is fun.......

[NancysSummerSip]

<<Think's Mich's new line of work should involve writing TV sitcoms>>

[mmhmm]

I've never gotten one of those calls, thankfully.  Lately, I've been feeling rather stabbity.  Considering that, those who are calling are probably also thankful they haven't called me. 

[Nazgul Girl]

   OOOOH, I'm going to have so much fun with this technique.   Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Abby Normal]

Too funny!  Congratulations on coming up with something off the cuff...

[Nazgul Girl]

   I'm faced with  a painful physical situation which can only be cured with time and antibiotics, and am waiting for that next phone call to come in.   I'm rehearsing  my  " computers are the tools of the Devil" spiel.   Thinking about it makes me laugh, and relieves some of the pain.  ( This just started yesterday ).

   I also got an almost exact same model of my beloved lavender and yellow stuffed Easter rabbit from 58 or 59 years ago !   I found him on ebay under "vintage stuffed rabbit" and am just thrilled.   I slept with my rabbit for over 7-8 years.   I think I found his brother.   He has the same tall, dark lavender ears with the yellow satin lining.   The ears stand up.   I'm going to keep him on display with my mother's 90-year old ( now ) worn pink mohair teddy bear, known as " Growly."   

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I hope ou get a chance to use it.  

I did have a niggle of guilt in that the "Microsoft tech" was apparently Indian, then I realized he was trying to scam me and would without a doubt if I was too stupid or naive to believe his BS.

[8 Bit WWBG]

There are so many great videos out there of people scambaiting those M$ scammers.  One from an Australian security pro was pretty devious.  He had set up a controlled environment in which to trick the scammer, but then pulled the plug and showed the scammer proof of the scam.

But the best one I think is a guy who just kept on leading the guy on by saying every time he was supposed to run the malware "I don't see run; just 'open in dropbox' and open in drive'".  The scammer tried for 20 minutes before cursing and hanging up.

[Nazgul Girl]

   Wow, you guys are giving me more and better ideas.   I'm waiting for that call, now.....    I think I'll open my hand by informing the caller that my grandkids gave me a computer for Christmas, and I'm having trouble with my passwords....in best old lady voice, " Now wait just a little minute while I get this darned contraption going....that's right.....there's that picture of my old sheep dog Fluffy....did I ever tell you about Fluffy ?   He was the best dog we ever had.....he liked Strongheart dog food....."   Yes, I am waiting for you, scammer !

[marvholly]

I got my second MS call a few days ago. I have decided to do the computers are the mark of the devil response next time.

Thanks.

[Blonde Granny]

If I don't recognize the phone number or it says "private", I don't answer the phone. Guess I'll never have the thrill of conning a con man

[marvholly]

Got my at least 3rd one of these on Thur evening. It was "Sam (again)" from microsoft with his Indian accent. Went into the Do not have a computer, computers are evil, spawn of the devil rant. He hung up on me. Will be interesting to see if I get anymore calls or if they take my number off the list.

[toomuchreality]

[Nazgul Girl]

Apr 25, 2014 5:51:16 GMT -5 marvholly said:

Got my at least 3rd one of these on Thur evening. It was "Sam (again)" from microsoft with his Indian accent. Went into the Do not have a computer, computers are evil, spawn of the devil rant. He hung up on me. Will be interesting to see if I get anymore calls or if they take my number off the list.

   Oh, good one !   I think I'm going to go with the mark of the devil idea for the next fakey Microsoft call, too.   I can also add some touches of paranoia because when any computer is  in my vicinity, it has eyes that watch me at all times, even if it's not turned on.   

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I wonder if the idiots trying to scam us have a collection of the most ridiculous stories they hear.

i know if I was at a job like this, I'd be looking at writing a book.

[MarleyKeezy78]

 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Apr 25, 2014 5:51:16 GMT -5 marvholly said:

Got my at least 3rd one of these on Thur evening. It was "Sam (again)" from microsoft with his Indian accent. Went into the Do not have a computer, computers are evil, spawn of the devil rant. He hung up on me. Will be interesting to see if I get anymore calls or if they take my number off the list.

It's only been a week or so since I did it.  I figure that they will take my name of the list of being batshit crazy if a couple months go by without a call.

[sesfw]

DH just got a call on his cell phone about his computer system being locked up and to press '1' for instructions on unlocking it.

Sure glad he knows how to use the hang up button. LOL

[marvholly]

Apr 25, 2014 11:52:00 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Apr 25, 2014 5:51:16 GMT -5 marvholly said:

Got my at least 3rd one of these on Thur evening. It was "Sam (again)" from microsoft with his Indian accent. Went into the Do not have a computer, computers are evil, spawn of the devil rant. He hung up on me. Will be interesting to see if I get anymore calls or if they take my number off the list.

It's only been a week or so since I did it.  I figure that they will take my name of the list of being batshit crazy if a couple months go by without a call.

Agree. Have to see what happens.

sesfw

I don't even answer calls on my cell from numbers I do not recognize. That is very easy because only 3 family & 2 friends have that number. Same is NOT true for house landline as I do not have caller ID. Too CHEAP.

[Regis]

You gotta see and listen to this.  I so want to do this.

Revenge on the Telemarketer

[Jaguar]

Apr 26, 2014 7:00:06 GMT -5 Regis said:

You gotta see and listen to this.  I so want to do this.

Revenge on the Telemarketer

That is so funny.

[moneymaven]

Hilarious! I guess they haven't scripted for Damien's patents yet!!

[Deleted]

I've gotten two "computer" calls in the last 24 hours. Both times they say they are calling about my computer.

I go, "But we don't have a computer. How did you get our phone number if we don't have one?"

Both times they have told me, "I'm sorry. Wrong number."

DH thinks it's so cool. Lol.

[marvholly]

Got another call yesterday but from Symantec this time and I do NOT have their program on my computer. Told him outright I was tired of the pishing, spam calls and I was going to report him to the FCC & local authorities.

Next call I have 2 questions:
How did you get my phone number?
What brand of computer are you calling about? Mine is a well known brand but not a common one.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Yesterday, I got a call that came up "private". It was from the Republican Party. The conversation went like this:

RP: I'm from the RP and would like to ask you a few questions.
Me: I see that your phone number says "private". What is it?
RP: What?
Me: If I am going to answer questions for you, I want to know that you are a legitimate concern.
Me: When you do things like this, you need to have my consent on file to do a study. Where is my informed consent?
RP: Errrr......
Me: Also, I want to know what your phone number is. You know mine, I think it is only fair that I know your number, so the next time you are doing something, I can disturb you.
RP: Does this mean that you won't answer questions?
Me: Where's my informed consent? Who is funding this study?
CLICK

I'm home pretty much all day, and we receive no less than about 6 of these calls each and every day. I just received this call 10 minutes ago. If there is a person on the end, I play. It's no fun to play with robocalls, so I hang up.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Apr 30, 2014 11:36:10 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Yesterday, I got a call that came up "private". It was from the Republican Party. The conversation went like this:

RP: I'm from the RP and would like to ask you a few questions.
Me: I see that your phone number says "private". What is it?
RP: What?
Me: If I am going to answer questions for you, I want to know that you are a legitimate concern.
Me: When you do things like this, you need to have my consent on file to do a study. Where is my informed consent?
RP: Errrr......
Me: Also, I want to know what your phone number is. You know mine, I think it is only fair that I know your number, so the next time you are doing something, I can disturb you.
RP: Does this mean that you won't answer questions?
Me: Where's my informed consent? Who is funding this study?
CLICK

I'm home pretty much all day, and we receive no less than about 6 of these calls each and every day. I just received this call 10 minutes ago. If there is a person on the end, I play. It's no fun to play with robocalls, so I hang up.

I'm stealing this one.

DH likes to play "Sousaphone/saxophone" with telemarketers.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I got another call on my cell from "6" who was a disembodied voice saying "there was an issue with" is as far as they got before I hung up.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I had to bring this up, because I got yet another call from MSN this weekend.  OMG!  Did I have fun with this one.

I got the caller (who had a heavy Indian accent) to tell me to go turn on my computer....I'll pick it up here.

MSN:  So I need you to go to your computer to turn it on.

Me:  I'm sorry, I can't.

MSN:  Why not?

Me:  I'm in the shower.  Right now, I've got soap all over and I haven't finished washing.  I proceeded to go on and tell him (in extreme detail) what I was washing as I was washing it.  I wasn't shy and I lingered over certain areas.  

MSN:  Oh....you could hear him scrambling for something to say and nothing in his script was adequate.  Click.

I think I embarrassed him.

[TheOtherMe]

I don't normally answer calls from numbers I don't recognize either.  However, today I was waiting for a repairman to call me during the window of time he was to show up.  Answered a call from somebody I could not understand.  All I could understand was that they were some kind of Administration.  I said I am not talking to you and she said this is the government.

Hung up and blocked the number.

[marvholly]

I have used the line (computers/devil). Got a call again here too a couple days ago. CSR’s Indian accent was SOOO thick I was about to ask for a English speaking CSR when s/he hung up on me. Don’t know why unless I am flagged with my devil response.

However, I think for the next call I will ask what operating system I am using and which version since mine is a bit on the older side. Bet they CANNOT answer. I get calls for free Medical Alert systems that 'my Dr.' recommended. However, they cannot/will not tell me which Dr.  Recent calls do not say anything about Dr.