Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:19:33 GMT -5
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Nov 20, 2013 0:09:39 GMT -5
George Zimmerman is at it again.
He was sighted "shooting" his mouth off at St. von Snoot's restaurant, refusing to tip his homosexual waiter. MSNBC cut from their 6-part miniseries "Obamacare: It Was Their Idea First" to a panel of talking heads who concluded the appropriate response to the tip gyp was for restaurant staff to defecate in Zimmerman's mouth, thereby restoring civility and decorum to an otherwise tactless row.
911 calls of the incident have now been released, with House Democrats insisting that Zimmerman's behaviour is strong evidence that Stand-Your-Ground laws should be repealed, and House Republicans claiming that Vance McAllister's recent election win in Swampboggersville, LA shows that Americans would rather eat at Chik-Fil-A than St. von Snoot's.
When asked how the Zimmerman scandal would affect the Obamacare rollout, Kathleen Sebelius promptly shot herself, leaving a stunned President Obama to placate the surrounding crowd with assurances that Ms. Sebelius' suicide in no way constituted a lack of faith in his landmark healthcare legislation. Pres. Obama also called on Americans to "come together" to combat the plague of tip gyps and mouth crappings weighing heavily on the psyche of the nation.
These stories and more coming up tomorrow on P&M Central. But up next: Snow Leopards. Cute and fuzzy... or are they?
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Nov 20, 2013 0:11:13 GMT -5
Gel is gonna kill you.
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Nov 20, 2013 0:12:15 GMT -5
Links please.
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Nov 20, 2013 0:15:21 GMT -5
I laughed so hard I choked on my cheese and crackers [freaking mess I got here now].
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:19:33 GMT -5
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Nov 20, 2013 0:17:04 GMT -5
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Nov 20, 2013 0:34:51 GMT -5
What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral ? Should I have the snow leopard quintet sing your favorite gospel hymns ?
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Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Nov 20, 2013 1:26:17 GMT -5
LOL!!! Awesome!
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,869 
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 20, 2013 7:26:09 GMT -5
You forgot to mention this ALL happened in Florida.
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The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
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Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
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Post by The Captain on Nov 20, 2013 7:32:30 GMT -5
OMFG! I almost spewed coffee on the screen. At first I thought Virgil spent too much time writing script for the next big prank  , but this was perfect! |
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Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Nov 20, 2013 10:19:02 GMT -5
This was priceless and produced a much needed laugh.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,403
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Nov 20, 2013 12:01:24 GMT -5
Virgil, why are you picking on all things Flori-duh? Oh, wait, that's an oxymoronic question.  |
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Nov 20, 2013 12:20:38 GMT -5
Reader's Digest has always had it right..."Laughter is the Best Medicene" On a holiday "black Friday note: Costco, Wally World, Menards all report super sales coming up on cans of assorted "gun nuts" But have all issued a word of warning, truck loads of screws for guns have gone missing meaning a boatload of loose screws running about for the holiday weekend. Law enforcement asks that should you encounter one of these loose screws to please call 911 immediately.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,403
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Nov 20, 2013 14:16:07 GMT -5
Reader's Digest has always had it right..."Laughter is the Best Medicene" On a holiday "black Friday note: Costco, Wally World, Menards all report super sales coming up on cans of assorted "gun nuts" But have all issued a word of warning, truck loads of screws for guns have gone missing meaning a boatload of loose screws running about for the holiday weekend. Law enforcement asks that should you encounter one of these loose screws to please call 911 immediately.<<considers Virgil an incredibly loose screw, dials 911 immediately and requests straightjacket and bed at the funny farm>> |
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Malarky
Junior Associate
Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 21:00:51 GMT -5
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Post by Malarky on Nov 20, 2013 14:21:20 GMT -5
I've been around way too long if my first thought about a "bed at the funny farm"...is that a hover bed?
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,403
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Nov 20, 2013 14:23:25 GMT -5
I've been around way too long if my first thought about a "bed at the funny farm"...is that a hover bed? OMG, Malarky - I just laughed so hard, I spit my apple and cheese at the monitor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cleanup on Aisle Four!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Nov 20, 2013 14:45:58 GMT -5
EE cleaning lady here
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:19:33 GMT -5
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Nov 20, 2013 15:31:02 GMT -5
Yeah right. A teddy bear at an EEer's house I can believe, but hardcover books and a globe? Get real.  |
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,403
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Nov 20, 2013 15:32:58 GMT -5
Yeah right. A teddy bear at an EEer's house I can believe, but hardcover books and a globe? Get real. Don't be silly. We took them away from the P&M folks. They claim the world is flat and they get their news from Fox. Why would they need books and a globe, anyway? |
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Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 20, 2013 15:34:12 GMT -5
I've been around way too long if my first thought about a "bed at the funny farm"...is that a hover bed? I didn't crash it this time , I swear!  VIrgil, I own a globe and multiple books  |
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Nov 20, 2013 15:35:19 GMT -5
Yeah right. A teddy bear at an EEer's house I can believe, but hardcover books and a globe? Get real. Don't be silly. We took them away from the P&M folks. They claim the world is flat and they get their news from Fox. Why would they need books and a globe, anyway?
Yeah most certainly that. Geez Virgil haven't you learned anything on here ?
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:19:33 GMT -5
Posts: 27,448
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Nov 20, 2013 15:37:48 GMT -5
I've been around way too long if my first thought about a "bed at the funny farm"...is that a hover bed? I didn't crash it this time , I swear! VIrgil, I own a globe and multiple books Your blow-up Earth-themed beach ball and illustrated edition of the Kama Sutra don't count.  |
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 20, 2013 15:39:10 GMT -5
I didn't crash it this time , I swear! VIrgil, I own a globe and multiple books Your blow-up Earth-themed beach ball and illustrated edition of the Kama Sutra don't count. The beach ball was left here by a niece but there is a real globe too How about my Stephen King collection? Does it count?  The textbooks? I even have encyclopedias still. |
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Nov 20, 2013 15:39:33 GMT -5
I didn't crash it this time , I swear! VIrgil, I own a globe and multiple books Your blow-up Earth-themed beach ball and illustrated edition of the Kama Sutra don't count.
Oh hog wash of dayum course it does, away with you.
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Nov 20, 2013 15:42:36 GMT -5
I've been around way too long if my first thought about a "bed at the funny farm"...is that a hover bed? I didn't crash it this time , I swear! VIrgil, I own a globe and multiple books I own a globe AND an Atlas...but...alas...Ive never been able to explore the latter cause my atlas is always busy holding up the globe. |
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Malarky
Junior Associate
Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 21:00:51 GMT -5
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Post by Malarky on Nov 20, 2013 15:43:24 GMT -5
I didn't crash it this time , I swear! VIrgil, I own a globe and multiple books Your blow-up Earth-themed beach ball and illustrated edition of the Kama Sutra don't count. <<<sigh>>> It reminds me of the old days. Hover beds, multiple (whatevers....), blow up ...beach balls. and the Kama Sutra... Before our entire world was PG/PC... Roasted flamingo wings anyone? |
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swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,372
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Post by swamp on Nov 20, 2013 15:44:59 GMT -5
Your blow-up Earth-themed beach ball and illustrated edition of the Kama Sutra don't count. <<<sigh>>> It reminds me of the old days. Hover beds, multiple (whatevers....), blow up ...beach balls. and the Kama Sutra... Before our entire world was PG/PC... Roasted flamingo wings anyone? In hot sauce. |
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jarrett1
Established Member
Joined: May 17, 2013 18:16:11 GMT -5
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Today's Mood: Mr. Lucki
Location: everywhere
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Post by jarrett1 on Nov 20, 2013 16:20:21 GMT -5
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:19:33 GMT -5
Posts: 27,448
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Nov 20, 2013 17:00:01 GMT -5
Uh huh. Let me know how that goes for you.  |
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jarrett1
Established Member
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Today's Mood: Mr. Lucki
Location: everywhere
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Post by jarrett1 on Nov 21, 2013 9:56:46 GMT -5
$170 million in divestitures to date  |
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:19:33 GMT -5
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Nov 21, 2013 12:48:48 GMT -5
$170 million in divestitures to date Sold at fire sale prices to other firms and funds that are happy to get them. You're not going to harm a profitable industry by leaning on its investors unless you can lean on all of them simultaneously. |
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