Yes ik (I know) I bullied Rebecca nd she killed her self but

[muttleynfelix]

Did anyone else go and check the facebook pages of the teens in your life after this?  I checked my sister's 2 teens and my SIL's 16 year olds.  My sister's kids don't use it much at all.  Their dad tags them when they are out and about going out to eat, movies, etc. My SIL's girl has tons of soccer stuff and her and her boyfriend, but very little actual conversation.

[Deleted]

My 13 year old nephew did most of his conversing in private messages when he was active on FB. They've moved on to instagram.

[Deleted]

<< trips Ratchets >>

[Deleted]

GRRRRRRRRR......that's IT! << puts on her pink jacket >>

[swamp]

Oct 16, 2013 15:01:31 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Virgil Showlion - I think it's different for girls at that age than boys.  I'll probably catch some grief for this, but women/girls are a lot more vicious with their bullying.  I think the social interactions and all that are also more important to girls than to boys as well.

No grief here.  I remember what it was like to be a 13 year old girl.  It was awful. 

[imawino]

Oct 16, 2013 14:55:56 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

Did anyone else go and check the facebook pages of the teens in your life after this?  I checked my sister's 2 teens and my SIL's 16 year olds.  My sister's kids don't use it much at all.  Their dad tags them when they are out and about going out to eat, movies, etc. My SIL's girl has tons of soccer stuff and her and her boyfriend, but very little actual conversation.

the 12 and 14 year olds in my life are not into FB.  That is not cool in that age group around here.  It's for old people.  They are onto a bunch of other sites - some that we have never been on and don't know how to use, which is scarier.  Once the old folks are onto it, the kids are doing something different. 

scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1376551_585465648168294_397210272_n.jpg

[Deleted]

Oct 16, 2013 15:11:55 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Oct 16, 2013 15:05:56 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

GRRRRRRRRR......that's IT! << puts on her pink jacket >>

Hey, Beerwench?  I'm sorry...

HUGGLES for everyone!!!

[justme]

Oct 16, 2013 14:59:10 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

My 13 year old nephew did most of his conversing in private messages when he was active on FB. They've moved on to instagram.

<scratches head> So they just have full conversations and stuff like the used to on FB? My friends and I just use instagram for pictures, does it even have private messages? <off to look>

[Deleted]

I don't know what he does on Instagram. I only know of the offline FB activity because he'd post "inbox me for rates" which I learned was him rating the girls in his class.

[moon/Laura]

Oct 16, 2013 13:34:56 GMT -5 movingforward said:

Oct 16, 2013 13:28:44 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  I think we need to spend more time teaching our kids that the opinions of someone else who doesn't even care about them is not who they are.  We need to help them learn to process this in a way that doesn't result in them internalizing those things as the truth. 

I agree but unfortunately kids don't think like rational adults, and when you are constantly being embarrassed and harassed on a daily basis you aren't exactly sitting there thinking "well, at least my mom loves me" 

My son and my niece are 11 (6th grade). Just two weeks ago, my son was upset with his cousin and commented that she had a small brain. It upset my niece a lot because she says that every day at school, people tell her she's dumb and ugly. She is neither of those things but as was already stated, when you hear it a lot, eventually you start to believe it. In the car on the way to school, we had a discussion about people who act like that and that both of them need to do their very best NOT to let those words affect them. But i know from experience that that's much easier said than done.

Oct 16, 2013 13:43:04 GMT -5 movingforward said:

And we should teach our kids not to join in and drink the kool-aid.  Being a follower and easily influenced to join "the mob" can have its own consequences. 

This is a discussion I've had with my son as well. There was a recent article I saw about a teenage girl who'd gone to a party, and gotten extremely wasted. A bad choice on her part, yes. But one that happens often. Some guys took advantage of the situation and drew all over her body and i can't remember what else, and a whole lot of others got involved with spreading stories and pictures and stuff.

I showed him that story, explained it to him and told him very clearly that if he EVER took part in something like that, i would take him to the police station myself and let them arrest him. this is not acceptable behavior to me, and he knows it.

[Miss Tequila]

I always wonder about the parents when things like this happen.  How could the girl's parents (the one who committed suicide) not have taken action?  I understand that bullying is very traumatic for any child, but kids get bullied everyday (always have and sadly, always will).  A child has to have some serious mental issues to take it to the step of suicide.  I can understand back in the day when bullying was done on the playground but with all of this bullying ON facebook, how do parents not know what is going on? 

If my kid was being bullied I would step in and if it came to it, remove her from teh school.  Facebook isn't a necessity and if it was leading to my kid being harrassed, the account would be gone.  I would also take legal actions against the kids harrassing her.  Why wasn't any of this done BEFORE it got to this point? 

My dd got into an altercation last year with another girl over some stupid boy.  The girl started threatening my daughter via FB and text messages.  Because I stalk my dd's account I knew immediately what was going on.  My husband sent the girl's mother a message on FB that this stopped immediately or we were calling the local authorities and pressing charges.  The mother never responded but the shit stopped immediately. 

I have never been bullied but I was a mean girl back in school.  I am embarrassed over the way that I targeted a few girls and just made their lives hell.  No idea why I did it or why they took it from me.  Of course, I would have felt horrible if they committed suicide over it so I wasn't a complete monster.

[swamp]

Oct 16, 2013 15:22:23 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I always wonder about the parents when things like this happen.  How could the girl's parents (the one who committed suicide) not have taken action?  I understand that bullying is very traumatic for any child, but kids get bullied everyday (always have and sadly, always will).  A child has to have some serious mental issues to take it to the step of suicide.  I can understand back in the day when bullying was done on the playground but with all of this bullying ON facebook, how do parents not know what is going on? 

If my kid was being bullied I would step in and if it came to it, remove her from teh school.  Facebook isn't a necessity and if it was leading to my kid being harrassed, the account would be gone.  I would also take legal actions against the kids harrassing her.  Why wasn't any of this done BEFORE it got to this point? 

My dd got into an altercation last year with another girl over some stupid boy.  The girl started threatening my daughter via FB and text messages.  Because I stalk my dd's account I knew immediately what was going on.  My husband sent the girl's mother a message on FB that this stopped immediately or we were calling the local authorities and pressing charges.  The mother never responded but the shit stopped immediately. 

I have never been bullied but I was a mean girl back in school.  I am embarrassed over the way that I targeted a few girls and just made their lives hell.  No idea why I did it or why they took it from me.  Of course, I would have felt horrible if they committed suicide over it so I wasn't a complete monster.

her parents did put her in a new school, and I think she opened another fb account they didn't know about. or if they knew, they didn't check it.

[Miss Tequila]

Oct 16, 2013 15:23:41 GMT -5 swamp said:

Oct 16, 2013 15:22:23 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I always wonder about the parents when things like this happen.  How could the girl's parents (the one who committed suicide) not have taken action?  I understand that bullying is very traumatic for any child, but kids get bullied everyday (always have and sadly, always will).  A child has to have some serious mental issues to take it to the step of suicide.  I can understand back in the day when bullying was done on the playground but with all of this bullying ON facebook, how do parents not know what is going on? 

If my kid was being bullied I would step in and if it came to it, remove her from teh school.  Facebook isn't a necessity and if it was leading to my kid being harrassed, the account would be gone.  I would also take legal actions against the kids harrassing her.  Why wasn't any of this done BEFORE it got to this point? 

My dd got into an altercation last year with another girl over some stupid boy.  The girl started threatening my daughter via FB and text messages.  Because I stalk my dd's account I knew immediately what was going on.  My husband sent the girl's mother a message on FB that this stopped immediately or we were calling the local authorities and pressing charges.  The mother never responded but the shit stopped immediately. 

I have never been bullied but I was a mean girl back in school.  I am embarrassed over the way that I targeted a few girls and just made their lives hell.  No idea why I did it or why they took it from me.  Of course, I would have felt horrible if they committed suicide over it so I wasn't a complete monster.

her parents did put her in a new school, and I think she opened another fb account they didn't know about. or if they knew, they didn't check it.

Oops...I read an article earlier today and it didn't mention that. It focused on the girls who did the tormenting and that was about it.

[swamp]

I agree, knowing that their daughter had been a target, they should have watched a little closer, but it still doesn't excuse what the bullies did.

[movingforward]

Oct 16, 2013 15:05:56 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

GRRRRRRRRR......that's IT! << puts on her pink jacket >>

The pink ladies pledge is to act cool, to look cool and to beeeeee cool

[Miss Tequila]

Oct 16, 2013 15:28:54 GMT -5 swamp said:

I agree, knowing that their daughter had been a target, they should have watched a little closer, but it still doesn't excuse what the bullies did.

I absolutely agree.  Adn the fact that these kids have no remorse over her death is absolutely disgusting.  realize that I am a helicopter mom (and proud of it ) but at the end of the day my child's safety rests soley with me.  I know all too well that kids can be cruel (I was) so I don't expect other kids to care if they are hurting my daughter.  Don't get me wrong, I would utilize the law to punish these kids any way I could.  But it would be up to me to make sure my daughter was safe.

[movingforward]

One major thing I have learned in life is to surround myself with people who truly care about me.  I learned this at an early age when people who were supposed to be my friends had a really weird way of showing it... this is a lesson many adolescents have to learn the hard way (and some adults).  Cutting toxic people out of your life can really make you feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. 

[Miss Tequila]

Oct 16, 2013 15:38:06 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Oct 16, 2013 15:22:23 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I always wonder about the parents when things like this happen.  How could the girl's parents (the one who committed suicide) not have taken action?  I understand that bullying is very traumatic for any child, but kids get bullied everyday (always have and sadly, always will).  A child has to have some serious mental issues to take it to the step of suicide.  I can understand back in the day when bullying was done on the playground but with all of this bullying ON facebook, how do parents not know what is going on? 

If my kid was being bullied I would step in and if it came to it, remove her from teh school.  Facebook isn't a necessity and if it was leading to my kid being harrassed, the account would be gone.  I would also take legal actions against the kids harrassing her.  Why wasn't any of this done BEFORE it got to this point? 

My dd got into an altercation last year with another girl over some stupid boy.  The girl started threatening my daughter via FB and text messages.  Because I stalk my dd's account I knew immediately what was going on.  My husband sent the girl's mother a message on FB that this stopped immediately or we were calling the local authorities and pressing charges.  The mother never responded but the shit stopped immediately. 

I have never been bullied but I was a mean girl back in school.  I am embarrassed over the way that I targeted a few girls and just made their lives hell.  No idea why I did it or why they took it from me.  Of course, I would have felt horrible if they committed suicide over it so I wasn't a complete monster.

Because parents don't give a crap.  Our older daughter was the target of a bully a couple years ago, and it was a pretty frustrating situation.  When we told the school about what was going on, the answer was "we can't watch every kid all the time."  Seriously, that was exactly what her teacher said.  I guess watching the ONE kid who is in trouble constantly didn't occur to her...

Anyway, I saw the bully start it with our younger daughter one weekend - keep in mind this was an 11 year old pushing around a 5 year old - so went over to the parents house.  I was telling the mom about what happened, when I heard the day yell "Oh hell NO!!  Nobody's gonna tell me how to raise my kids!!"  and he came running out and tried to push me back off their porch.  What ended up happening was getting into a little shoving match then - because admittedly I lost my temper at that point - and his wife called the cops.

With parents like that, the kid doesn't stand a chance.  I actually felt sorry for the kid (a little) after seeing how that all unfolded.  I guess the world needs strippers too though.

Wow, what awful people! No wonder the kid is a damn bully! Locally our schools take bullying pretty seriously because of the suicides that have been happening. 

If the parents and the school wouldn't intervene, I would have called the damn cops and filed a complaint.  That is complete bullshit. 

I can't even say that my dd was truly bullied.  My dd was just as guilty for running her mouth when she her this girl was talking about her.  But then it escalated and my kid is a skinny kid from the suburbs and this girl was a street smart kid who knew a lot of other street smart kids (I'm trying to be PC!LOL)...I was honestly worried about my dd's safety.  Luckily the message to her mom seemed to nip it in the bud.

I would also kick my daughter's ass if I ever caught her bullying another chilid. 

[imawino]

Oct 16, 2013 15:38:06 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Oct 16, 2013 15:22:23 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I always wonder about the parents when things like this happen.  How could the girl's parents (the one who committed suicide) not have taken action?  I understand that bullying is very traumatic for any child, but kids get bullied everyday (always have and sadly, always will).  A child has to have some serious mental issues to take it to the step of suicide.  I can understand back in the day when bullying was done on the playground but with all of this bullying ON facebook, how do parents not know what is going on? 

If my kid was being bullied I would step in and if it came to it, remove her from teh school.  Facebook isn't a necessity and if it was leading to my kid being harrassed, the account would be gone.  I would also take legal actions against the kids harrassing her.  Why wasn't any of this done BEFORE it got to this point? 

My dd got into an altercation last year with another girl over some stupid boy.  The girl started threatening my daughter via FB and text messages.  Because I stalk my dd's account I knew immediately what was going on.  My husband sent the girl's mother a message on FB that this stopped immediately or we were calling the local authorities and pressing charges.  The mother never responded but the shit stopped immediately. 

I have never been bullied but I was a mean girl back in school.  I am embarrassed over the way that I targeted a few girls and just made their lives hell.  No idea why I did it or why they took it from me.  Of course, I would have felt horrible if they committed suicide over it so I wasn't a complete monster.

Because parents don't give a crap.  Our older daughter was the target of a bully a couple years ago, and it was a pretty frustrating situation.  When we told the school about what was going on, the answer was "we can't watch every kid all the time."  Seriously, that was exactly what her teacher said.  I guess watching the ONE kid who is in trouble constantly didn't occur to her...

Anyway, I saw the bully start it with our younger daughter one weekend - keep in mind this was an 11 year old pushing around a 5 year old - so went over to the parents house.  I was telling the mom about what happened, when I heard the day yell "Oh hell NO!!  Nobody's gonna tell me how to raise my kids!!"  and he came running out and tried to push me back off their porch.  What ended up happening was getting into a little shoving match then - because admittedly I lost my temper at that point - and his wife called the cops.

With parents like that, the kid doesn't stand a chance.  I actually felt sorry for the kid (a little) after seeing how that all unfolded.  I guess the world needs strippers too though.

This just makes me so sad.  Some of these kids have no chance of learning what it's like to be a decent human being at home, because their parents have no fucking idea.  And they don't WANT to have any idea.  Our society has been way too Jerry Springer-ed (and Maury'd, and Jersey Shore'd, etc).  There is a whole subset of people that think being classless,  confrontational,  and in-your-face and reacting the way this dad did ("Oh hell NO!! Nobody's gonna tell me how to raise my kids!!") is a sign of strength; and that listening to other people and being a reasonable human being is a sign of weakness. 

But kudos to you for going over there and trying to resolve the situation. 

[Miss Tequila]

Oct 16, 2013 15:46:21 GMT -5 imawino said:

Oct 16, 2013 15:38:06 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Because parents don't give a crap.  Our older daughter was the target of a bully a couple years ago, and it was a pretty frustrating situation.  When we told the school about what was going on, the answer was "we can't watch every kid all the time."  Seriously, that was exactly what her teacher said.  I guess watching the ONE kid who is in trouble constantly didn't occur to her...

Anyway, I saw the bully start it with our younger daughter one weekend - keep in mind this was an 11 year old pushing around a 5 year old - so went over to the parents house.  I was telling the mom about what happened, when I heard the day yell "Oh hell NO!!  Nobody's gonna tell me how to raise my kids!!"  and he came running out and tried to push me back off their porch.  What ended up happening was getting into a little shoving match then - because admittedly I lost my temper at that point - and his wife called the cops.

With parents like that, the kid doesn't stand a chance.  I actually felt sorry for the kid (a little) after seeing how that all unfolded.  I guess the world needs strippers too though.

This just makes me so sad.  Some of these kids have no chance of learning what it's like to be a decent human being at home, because their parents have no fucking idea.  And they don't WANT to have any idea.  Our society has been way too Jerry Springer-ed (and Maury'd, and Jersey Shore'd, etc).  There is a whole subset of people that think being classless,  confrontational,  and in-your-face and reacting the way this dad did ("Oh hell NO!! Nobody's gonna tell me how to raise my kids!!") is a sign of strength; and that listening to other people and being a reasonable human being is a sign of weakness. 

But kudos to you for going over there and trying to resolve the situation. 

I agree! And I hope you got in a few good punches before the cops showed up! (errr...wait, that kind of sounds Jerry Springerish )

[imawino]

Oct 16, 2013 15:35:36 GMT -5 movingforward said:

One major thing I have learned in life is to surround myself with people who truly care about me.  I learned this at an early age when people who were supposed to be my friends had a really weird way of showing it... this is a lesson many adolescents have to learn the hard way (and some adults).  Cutting toxic people out of your life can really make you feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. 

And yet you still come here!  LOL. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I learned this at an early age when people who were supposed to be my friends had a really weird way of showing it...

Middle school for me when suddenly the best friends I'd had since kindergarten kept making rude comments about me.  I could do no right in their eyes.   I made it pretty clear if I had to treat people like they were treating me in order to be part of the group I didn't want to be in the group.

They went on to be part of the popular clique and I never spoke to them again. 

Then I learned a valuable lesson when I got harassed for carrying a purse shaped like a pig.  I stopped carrying it and surprise surprise I was still shut out of the group they were just a lot less vocal about it till they found a new reason to harass me.

I also got a teacher involved when one of my friends in 8th grade was being severly bullied.  It stopped.  There are people out there who care if you take the time to reach out.

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 16, 2013 15:01:31 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Virgil Showlion - I think it's different for girls at that age than boys.  I'll probably catch some grief for this, but women/girls are a lot more vicious with their bullying.  I think the social interactions and all that are also more important to girls than to boys as well.

I can believe it. Women are far more social than men. And anyone who's ever watched a reality TV show has to agree that women are more vicious. Perhaps because guys will just have it out physically before it gets absolutely toxic, while the ladies don't often resort to violence unless both literally want to tear each other's eyes out.

I punched guys, got punched, whaled on guys, got whaled on. Only a handful of times, but it makes anyone harassing you decide to turn their attentions elsewhere quickly. That's provided you endure the beating. I saw at least one fight where the smaller guy was pounded into goo and sent to an ER. That wasn't a bullying episode; it was just bad blood between two tough guys.

If I had to summarize my seeming "siding with" the bullies by saying they're not responsible, it's not that I condone what they do, it's that Ms. Sedwick made an irrational decision. I'm extremely wary of blaming others for consequences of their actions stemming from an irrational response to those actions.

Ms. Sedwick's suicide was irrational. It was not a reasonable response to the degree of harm being perpetrated against her.

Perhaps you have an employee who's underperfoming at work, suffering, just on the brink. You call her in and harshly point out some sloppy work she's done. You realize after a while that she's down, so you add a few words of encouragement and try to lighten your tone a little near the end, but your point was clear. Later in the day you find out she jumped in front of a subway train.

Yes, you contributed to that decision, and yes, most people would feel at least some guilt for it, but you are not responsible for her suicide. Suicide is not a rational response to a tough day at the office. Suicide is not a rational response to mean-spirit comments and taunting on Facebook. Responsibility is contingent on the rational following of consequences from actions. Free speech is enshrined in our laws because cruel (and in this case, avoidable) words do not reasonably provoke a desire to kill one's self.

The "aggravated stalking" charges in this case apply because the victim was under 16, and although I worry that anti-bullying laws may simply perpetuate a victim's sense of helplessness, I'm willing to concede that some kids take bullying to extremes that should be punished by law. I still don't consider the decision anywhere close to rational, and hence my "not responsible" stance on behalf of the bullies. Apply to them the standard punishment for hectoring minors online. Nothing more, nothing less.

[imawino]

Oct 16, 2013 16:15:07 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Unfortunately it all ended up pretty poorly.  I didn't get any good punches in - what happened was that I shoved him back and he fell down by his door, and then I realised my daughter was with me because I'd taken her over thinking the parents would make her apologize.  So momma freaked out because her husband was about to get his ass beat and called the cops and I sent my daughter home.  The cops came, and since this other guy was a fireman they made a "courtesy call" to his supervisor who also came.  The supervisor coached him through the interview with the cops - no kidding, while the guy was telling his side of the story the supervisor said "did he hit your wife?" and the dude said "Oh yeah!  He punched her through the screen door and that's why I pushed him off the porch!"  Like you'd forget a fact like that until somebody else brought it up .  So then my shirt - first sergeant - showed up, and when I was telling him about what was going on, he said he knew the supervisor from softball and he was a good guy, so figured he was right.  Talk about a total set-up!  Then he told me they are firemen so they're "public servants."  Mother-f***er they're in the military just like me !!  What ended up happening when it was all said and done was we both got a no-contact order for each other.  Which didn't bother me much since it's not like we were going to hang out or go for beers or anything anyway LoL!!  I can't believe I didn't lose a stripe, because of having a line number for promotion they'll take one a lot quicker at that point...and also because the situation got so skewed against me.

The bad part of it was having the little one there in that situation though.  In my defense, I didn't expect it would all play out that way...but it's still embarrassing a little knowing I lost my cool like that in front of her.  Definitely wasn't a "father of the year" moment.

Hey, the kid never bullied either one of ours again though...so I guess there was a bright side to the story.  It was probably a good thing we were both military though, and on base.  With civilian cops and all that it could've maybe turned into assualt charges and a huge mess I'm sure.

While a physical altercation is never ideal, and was obviously not the goal here - I bet that for your daughter to know how far you'd go to have her back is at least worth a Father of the Year nom to her.    I mean, Matt Damon probably beat you out at the awards ceremony, but whatever.  He's got like a litter of kids now, so it's tough to compete.   

[kilroy]

-rofl-at the idea of a 14 year old girl behaving rationally.  And I used to be a 14 year old girl.

[Miss Tequila]

Oct 16, 2013 16:15:07 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Unfortunately it all ended up pretty poorly.  I didn't get any good punches in - what happened was that I shoved him back and he fell down by his door, and then I realised my daughter was with me because I'd taken her over thinking the parents would make her apologize.  So momma freaked out because her husband was about to get his ass beat and called the cops and I sent my daughter home.  The cops came, and since this other guy was a fireman they made a "courtesy call" to his supervisor who also came.  The supervisor coached him through the interview with the cops - no kidding, while the guy was telling his side of the story the supervisor said "did he hit your wife?" and the dude said "Oh yeah!  He punched her through the screen door and that's why I pushed him off the porch!"  Like you'd forget a fact like that until somebody else brought it up .  So then my shirt - first sergeant - showed up, and when I was telling him about what was going on, he said he knew the supervisor from softball and he was a good guy, so figured he was right.  Talk about a total set-up!  Then he told me they are firemen so they're "public servants."  Mother-f***er they're in the military just like me !!  What ended up happening when it was all said and done was we both got a no-contact order for each other.  Which didn't bother me much since it's not like we were going to hang out or go for beers or anything anyway LoL!!  I can't believe I didn't lose a stripe, because of having a line number for promotion they'll take one a lot quicker at that point...and also because the situation got so skewed against me.

The bad part of it was having the little one there in that situation though.  In my defense, I didn't expect it would all play out that way...but it's still embarrassing a little knowing I lost my cool like that in front of her.  Definitely wasn't a "father of the year" moment.

Hey, the kid never bullied either one of ours again though...so I guess there was a bright side to the story.  It was probably a good thing we were both military though, and on base.  With civilian cops and all that it could've maybe turned into assualt charges and a huge mess I'm sure.

Damn...that really sucks big time. 

I look at it a different way. Your daughter saw you willing to defend her no matter what it took. She probably looks at you like her hero. It isn't like you went in the house screaming at the guy or at his wife. You went there to deal with this like an adult, you were attacked and you defended yourself. Nothing wrong with that

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 16, 2013 16:40:43 GMT -5 Ratchets said:

Virgil Showlion - I think your analogy is comparing two totally different things though.  While the lady at work is getting counseled on her performance, her boss isn't saying "you should kill yourself" or "you're worthless, fat, ugly, whatever."  They're addressing performance, and if they're a decent boss they would ask more questions once they realised something was wrong.  It's comparing two totally different situations.

While the tormenters didn't "pull the trigger," they were direct contributors.

If you don't find the situations comparable, sour the first one a bit more. Suppose you're in a raging bad mood, you call an employee in, and you tell her to get off her fat, lazy butt and stop submitting crap work or else her job is history. You tell her to get out of your sight and take the rest of the day off to think things over.

You're still not responsible if she steps in front of a train. Morally, I would hope you'd feel some shame for deepening her suffering and failing to recognize her tenuous mental state, but suicide is in no way a reasonable response to a flame-out by an employer. You're guilty of being a mean boss, not guilty of murder--which is what responsibility for a suicide would imply.

[justme]

While no one is responsible in the case of a suicide besides the person who did it, I'm pretty sure telling someone repeatedly to "drink bleach and die" is a lot more damaging - especially to a 12 year old's psyche - then telling an adult they're fat, lazy, or suck at work.

[whoisjohngalt]

Oct 16, 2013 11:20:18 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

Oct 16, 2013 11:12:35 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

What is he going to charge them with exactly? Saying mean things?

The article clearly states that the hectoring leading up to the suicide occurred via text messages and social media. When last I checked, bullying over the Internet isn't a crime. Nor should it be.

They took cyber stalking and bullying seriously enough a few years ago to give me a 3 year restraining order against a woman that was harassing me primarily via emails and text messages.

I am curious - how did that help you?

[whoisjohngalt]

Oct 16, 2013 11:45:48 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  The tragic thing is that the words of people who don't give a flying rip about her had more power over her life than the people around her that truly loved and cared for her.  And, that is tragic.  

OK...needed a minute to get over a shock...agreeing with Shooby here.

I think it's so so important to know your kids and give them support/comfort/understanding that they need that something like killing themselves is nowhere on their radar.