Wheel Chair Imposters

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

The more that I think about this thread, the more depressed this makes me that someone actually has thoughts like this.  I'm getting better, but I have absolutely no idea how much better I will get.  The one thing I know for certain is that I will NEVER be as good as I was of November, 2011.  Then I could walk a parking lot without issue.  Haul 40 lbs of kitty litter upstairs.  Spend 60 min on an elliptical and then go lift weights.  Schlep 20 L jugs of buffer across the lab.  And that was with 2 hip replacements.

Since 12/11, I have been disabled.  I have a h/c placard and I request wheelchair assistance when I fly.  If I needed to fly alone, I could not because I cannot carry even my backpack.  So I have my pack mule (TD).

I cannot begin to count the number of times I have sat in the car waiting for TD, because there were no electric carts, or there was no h/c parking.  The local grocery store has a whopping 12 spaces, 9/10 times, they are filled.  Likelihood of me getting a h/c space at Costco is pretty much nil unless we go early in the morning.  Forget about the mall.

Oh....and let's not forget about those people who talk over your head when you are in a wheelchair.  No, TD does not know how much pain I am in, how about asking ME.  My speech or intelligence have not been affected, merely my hips.

I have only been given the ok to walk since Jan.  So for a year, I have been sitting on my ass waiting to heal after 4 surgeries.....2 on each hip.  Each time, bone was destroyed.  After $800 out of pocket, God knows how much money insurance kicked in, I now walk like a penguin.  Oh, I can walk like a penguin for a longer distance, but the penguin is still alive and well (which is why my name hasn't changed in a long time).  It started out, I could barely walk to the bathroom without help but now I can pretty much roam the house.  When I go out for a walk, I take trekking poles and it allows me to walk a little longer without limping.  What happens is when I start limping, I get tired and I limp worse....which makes me more tired.  Limping is an unnatural gait, so joints start to hurt badly.  Badly enough that the last time I got to that point, I had to dig out my oxycontin because both hips, both knees and my back were in pain.

So when you see me in the airport walking, I am CHOOSING where to expend my energy.  Yeah, I can climb a flight of stairs (albeit slowly and unsteadily as my balance still sucks).  It is easier on me to climb the stairs on a commuter jet than be hauled up.  But once I expend that energy, it's gone.

Right now, I have no idea as to whether or not I will be physically capable of returning to my job, which means that my BS, my MS, my PhD is going to waste.  So is my brain, because my body failed because of a stupid infection.  A stupid infection that nearly killed me  A stupid infection that left me a whole different person.

My story is not unique.  People wind up disabled for a host of reasons, so just because you are healthy now, don't think that it can't happen to you.  I really hope it doesn't, but if it does, I really hope that you receive more compassion than I have seen from some of the messages on this board.

This makes me sick.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Oh, and Firebird.........thank you for your eloquent defense.

[Green Eyed Lady]

As much as it's great fun to get all het up and offended, I haven't seen ANYBODY on this thread lack compassion.  In fact, it's been just the opposite.  MOST of us are very compassionate and have pointed out about a million times that we think it downright sucks when scammers take from those who really need the assistance.  That has been the whole point all along.  People have said they use a wheelchair in an airport because their luggage is heavy or their children are too slow. AND?  They don't want to be judged.  

Someone here has eloquently made the case for the OP by stating (and I'm guessing correctly) that there aren't nearly enough handicap spaces or equipment for those who need them.  That just reinforces the OPs point.  There isn't enough to go around for those truly in need .  And some of us get downright pissed off when those who are in need go without because others are just friggin lazy.  If that offends someone, so be it.  It's true and everybody here knows it.

You have all made the OPs point for her.  Nobody can sit here with a straight face and say there aren't people who take advantage of services meant for the needy when they don't need them.  Of course you all know that.  I know that.  I know it for a fact.  But I change my stance on pointing out their transgressions because it's obvious to me that it wouldn't do any good.  Any able person who has the balls to take advantage of services for the disabled just to save a few minutes of their precious time has more wrong with them than a scolding could ever fix.  It's an "I got mine.  For some reason, I think I'm entitled.  Fuck the rest of ya." mentality.  It makes me sad but it doesn't surprise me.

I thank God my disability wasn't all that serious and short term.  I honestly don't know how those who need long-term assistance even get around without a huge amount of discomfort.   I have always had a large amount of respect for those who face adversity and come out on top, but now it's has increased ten-fold.

[Phoenix84]

Apr 19, 2013 13:23:04 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I apologize, Phoenix84, I got a little heated there but my anger wasn't really directed at you.  That small part of your remark just set me off because it represents a typical red herring argument offered by people who have nothing better to do than judge people who don't "look" disabled enough for them. 

I wouldn't put you in that category though, especially since you seem to grasp the fact that just because a person looks able-bodied does not mean that s/he is.

I do grasp it very well.  Keep in mind I was born with cateracts, so my eyesight is not as good as that of most people, and I have Aspergur's.

Disability is kind of an interesting subject for me, because I never felt like I have any disabilities.  And it's never been something I dwell on or ever felt like I couldn't do anything anyone else could do (except maybe join the military, law enforcement, or become a pilot.) 

But those issues have caused me problems before.  I've had co workers question my eyesight and suggest I see a doctor about it.  Which is insulting because I have seen a Opthalmoligist every year since I was born and wear contacts, so my vision is as good as it's going to get.  And many of my problems with the Air Force stemmed, at least partly, from not effectively communicating on my part. 

So yeah, even though I don't feel I'm disabled, some things have caused me issues because I couldn't do something like see tiny, faint numbers on an old tritium exit sign and my managers mistook it for incompetence and not a medical issue because "I didn't look disabled." 

[midjd]

Someone here has eloquently made the case for the OP by stating (and I'm guessing correctly) that there aren't nearly enough handicap spaces or equipment for those who need them. That just reinforces the OPs point. There isn't enough to go around for those truly in need .

If there aren't enough spaces to go around for those who are truly in need, wouldn't that mean that even eliminating ALL fraudulent use of these facilities would be insufficient? If 50% or 80% of those using handicapped services were doing so fraudulently, it would be a different story - but 15% (if true) isn't a make or break percentage, and eliminating every single instance of waste/fraud isn't going to be enough to provide all handicapped people with wheelchairs at the airport, or parking spaces at the grocery.

Our population is getting larger - both in numbers and in physical size - as well as older. Do you think we will need more handicapped facilities in the next 50 years, or fewer? Should we institute screening programs or simply make more facilities available/accessible?

And I do feel - although I'm sure others disagree - that determining whether someone is "disabled enough" based on their appearance or ability to walk up a flight of stairs is not very compassionate.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Believe me, it is not fun to get het up and offended.

What the OP's comment DID make me realize was the FACT that some people may see me walking into a ladies room from a wheelchair, climb the flight of stairs to a commuter jet and go to the head of the line at security and resent that I didn't have to wait in line.

Those wheelchair pushers at airports run their tails off.  One guy told me that he goes through a pair of expensive shoes each month.  So the 20 min that they save from waiting in line at security means that they can move on to their next customer.

Once, when I was waiting for surgery, I had a h/c placard and parked there at the grocery store.  I got out of my car.....a 30 year old woman, with what appeared to be no disabilities.  I got blasted by some guy who thought I didn't look disabled enough to deserve to park there.  

I felt like crap.  The OP brought back all those feelings again.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I can understand that, Mich.  It would make me feel like crap also.  I even had pangs of guilt even thinking about using a scooter because I COULD walk if I had to and did.  There are people out there who can't even if they want to.  I am sorry anyone made you feel bad.  Having a disability is rough enough, I'm sure, without people making it worse on you.  And I, for one, would never question someone I didn't know because, as had been stated also about a million times, not all disabilities are apparent by looking at someone.  It's the obvious and in-your-face-screw-you-I-want-it-and-I'm-taking-it ones that piss me off and I have a right to be pissed off about it for myself and for everyone who truly needs the accomodation.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Apr 19, 2013 14:29:32 GMT -5 midjd said:

Someone here has eloquently made the case for the OP by stating (and I'm guessing correctly) that there aren't nearly enough handicap spaces or equipment for those who need them. That just reinforces the OPs point. There isn't enough to go around for those truly in need .

If there aren't enough spaces to go around for those who are truly in need, wouldn't that mean that even eliminating ALL fraudulent use of these facilities would be insufficient? If 50% or 80% of those using handicapped services were doing so fraudulently, it would be a different story - but 15% (if true) isn't a make or break percentage, and eliminating every single instance of waste/fraud isn't going to be enough to provide all handicapped people with wheelchairs at the airport, or parking spaces at the grocery.

And I do feel - although I'm sure others disagree - that determining whether someone is "disabled enough" based on their appearance or ability to walk up a flight of stairs is not very compassionate.

Then consider this.....

You are not supposed to drive with a h/c placard up, so we keep it in the glove compartment. More than once, we have forgotten to put it up. It is a $425 ticket. When we called to ask if we could get it dismissed, the clerk said that we weren't the only ones to do this. A faxed copy of the placard and my ID was sufficient to get it dismissed.

So those cars that you see without a placard may have just forgotten.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Maybe if someone parked in a handicapped spot and then went on to do jumping jacks and handstands in the parking lot or something...

So tempted to do this and post the video on YouTube.

[Green Eyed Lady]

lol...they will find you and throw feces at your house.

[zibazinski]

I have asked DF to get a doctor note for when he does need it. He won't because its a matter of pride. So the night I had to walk in the dark alone because he couldn't  walk, I, of course, was scared which made me angry at him and his prideful nature. Next time I see the doctor, ill just ask. Does he need it all the time? No, but when he does, he does.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Apr 19, 2013 14:36:08 GMT -5 midjd said:

It's the obvious and in-you-face-screw-you ones that piss me off and I have a right to be pissed off about it for myself and for everyone who truly needs the accomodation.

Are these people wearing signs, or what? I don't think I've ever run across someone who was obviously NOT disabled but taking advantage of services meant for the disabled.

Maybe if someone parked in a handicapped spot and then went on to do jumping jacks and handstands in the parking lot or something...

(But even in that situation, they could be the driver for someone who was handicapped).

I agree, for the most part...except for the example I posted which, like it or not, I know to be true....and for the two examples posted in this thread.  I honestly don't know who posted it and I'm not going to look back, but one said they used a wheelchair to get their kids to a gate faster and another said they thought it was ok if you had a long way to walk and your luggage was heavy.  I'd say those are pretty much obviously NOT disabled examples.  Wouldn't you?

[swamp]

I was the kids in the wheelchair person. I had a 3 year old and a 4 year old and had 10 minutes to go to fro terminal A to terminal C. I asked an airline employee if it was OK. They said yes, that's why we have them.

I'm not unsympathetic to those that need the chaits, my mom gets one at the airport. And I wouldmt have taken it if the airline employee said I couldnt.

If that makes me unfeeling or rude or whatever, fine.

[midjd]

I agree, for the most part...except for the example I posted which, like it or not, I know to be true....

So in your opinion, someone who is morbidly obese and has trouble walking isn't really disabled?

[Green Eyed Lady]

Apr 19, 2013 14:54:26 GMT -5 midjd said:

I agree, for the most part...except for the example I posted which, like it or not, I know to be true....

So in your opinion, someone who is morbidly obese and has trouble walking isn't really disabled?

Some are, I'm sure.  This one isn't.  She doesn't "have trouble" walking.  She just doesn't want to expend the energy.  She has no problem at all getting from the parking lot to the church and up and down the stairs to the desert luncheons.  She's isn't disabled.  She's lazy.  I never said anywhere that all obese people are capable of getting around without assistance.  I said this person is.  People can argue this till they are blue in the face, but it's the way it is.

[midjd]

I never said anywhere that all obese people are capable of getting around without assistance.

I never said you did. That's why I asked.

[Green Eyed Lady]

No.  You didn't.  I guess I was just wondering why you asked since I made it clear in the first post in this thread that I know some obese people are obese because of other handicaps.  I thought maybe you had misunderstood my intent.  My bad.

[zibazinski]

POM, you met DF. He seems perfectly fine and a lot of the time he is. What you don't see is when his legs and feet swell up and his heart issues. So on the surface, he looks perfectly normal and most of the time, he's fine. But then there are the other times...

[Peace Of Mind]

Apr 19, 2013 17:08:49 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

POM, you met DF. He seems perfectly fine and a lot of the time he is. What you don't see is when his legs and feet swell up and his heart issues. So on the surface, he looks perfectly normal and most of the time, he's fine. But then there are the other times...

I had to check to see if I posted!  But yes, I met your DF and I understand  and that is many people so I get it!  (((Hugs)))  And just tell people he's your dad. 

OK - I saw a lady in a wheelchair at Target so I dumped her out and yelled Imposter!  She couldn't get back up on her own.  Oops!     I'll just err on the safe side, regardless, and mind my own business and not assume they are being lazy.   And if I know you I'll push you around and do wheelies and stuff to make it fun! 

[zibazinski]

[Deleted]

Apr 16, 2013 9:00:00 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

um, doctors don't HAND out wheelchairs.  They write a script for them based on the condition of the patient.  And also keep in mind that people with handicap placards don't always have handicaps that are immediately visible at first glance.  They are also given to people who are the primary transporters of disabled people.

 Sometimes I feel like a fraud when I pick up or drop off my husband at work. He has a placard and when picking him up/dropping off at work I feel weird sometimes because he isn't with me when I leave the store in the morning or go in to pick him up. He has MS and can't walk a straight line without tripping over his own feet although he uses a cane 24/7. I did think about taking him with me to the next NKOTB concert so we could sit up front but not a fan of Boyz to Men so will be skipping that. He was NOT looking forward to that so it's not a big loss for him.

ETA: Can someone tell me what to do to make it seem like his idea to be in a wheelchair when we go out? Usually I have to involve his parents in some of these things because the pack mule (me) that lives with him and picks his runty ass up off the ground every day after he falls over just doesn't see what is happening and can't get him to understand that if he breaks any bones I'm going to break his skull!!!!! Thanks!

[Firebird]

Apr 19, 2013 13:40:00 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Oh, and Firebird.........thank you for your eloquent defense.

You're quite welcome, it's the least I can do.

[Firebird]

More on Monday, it's too hard to post from my phone.

[zibazinski]

I really never have to say much. It's pretty obvious when DF is in pain and can't walk. Then he has the choice of staying home or coming with me out and about. He chooses me. Therefore he chooses to have another form of getting around. I don't mind driving but I'm not carrying him!

[lurkyloo]

Can I still judge my MIL for blithely using FIL's h/c placard every chance she gets so she doesn't have to walk so far?    (She has no health problems that prevent her from walking, and in fact really needs the exercise.)

mich:  I'm really sorry to hear about the extent of your hip problems.  If the worst happens and you aren't able to return to labwork, are there prospects for finding a 100% desk job in your field?

[formerroomate99]

I can't think of any time I've gone to the mall or a big box store and not passed by at least a dozen empty handicapped parking spots.  And we do go at peak times.  I wonder if folks in my neck of the woods are less likely to use them or if we just require the stored to have more of them? 

And again, I maintain, if the disability is going to go on for a long duration, get your own wheelchair if you can.  Who knows if those loaner wheelchairs are ever cleaned?   (Again note to self, throughly sanitize the wheelchair next time I take grandma to the mall)

[Firebird]

Actually, I guess I don't have anything to add.  It's all been said.  But to reiterate:

1.  Just because you can't SEE a person's disability doesn't mean it doesn't exist even if they appear able to walk normally under their own power. 

2.  The fact that "some" people apparently abuse the privileges meant to be reserved for the disabled is almost 100% irrelevant when it comes to how we should deal with the issue of there not being enough accommodations for the disabled.  Increasing the resources and accommodations available for the disabled is a Good Thing that we should be doing on a large scale, regardless of who "might" try to scam those privileges even though they don't really need them.

3.  To sum up, it is not your job to decide who needs special accommodations due to disabilities and who doesn't - if someone asks for them, assume s/he needs them and if there aren't enough to go around, don't assume that it's because there are too many scammers. 

[comom1]

Sorry I haven't been back, but it's been a busy week.

In response to someone's post, yes, the airline will gate check your wheelchair and bring it up to you at your connection and destination.  We do it all the time.  Phoenix flights can get pretty wild, what with all the elderly folks.  If you prefer, we can check your chair all the way through and use our chairs until you get to your destination.  There's no charge to check a wheelchair.

We are very careful with the chairs because we know that they are someone's "legs".  We are also trained to help para and quadriplegic customers transfer to their seats. 

I spent a long time using a cane after a car accident.  I know what it's like to get out of the car and be yelled at because I didn't look handicapped.  People are amazingly obnoxious at times.  Fortunately, most people are decent.  You learn to grow a thick skin and I learned to take a minute and educate those that needed it.  Most of them apologized.  The ones that didn't weren't worth my using my limited energy on anger.