Would You Tell Your Child About Medication?

[Deleted]

Apr 1, 2013 16:08:35 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Apr 1, 2013 16:01:21 GMT -5 oped said:

And I think there should be no stigma because we should stop adopting a deficiency model of labeling children as disordered...

  Well, what does that mean?  My child has asthma so is she "disordered"?  I have a son with celiac's.  Yeah, we all have stuff to deal with .

Nobody is born this earth being an prefect kind. we all have an some kinds of blemish in our genes.

[Deleted]

Chocolate, I think kids can describe, in their own way, what they feel. However, the diagnosis is generally not made on such details... The diagnosis is based on observed behavior. 

Yes, we are all different. I just dont subscribe to the idea that because we are different we are disordered.

i also am trying to understand the juxtaposition of 'of course you should tell them hy have ADD' with ''why tell them they have a psychiatric disorder' ... That's what it is...    I think that is WHY there was the question to begin with.

[CarolinaKat]

As far as dealing with other parents - this is just one thing you have to stand your ground on.  A lot of people think it's being lazy because you don't want to parent - if you were a good parent you'd do all kinds of crazy therapies or just have him on a special diet or just discipline them.  You can see it in the responses here already - that you should try everything else first and use medication only as a last resort.  You need to make other parents understand that this is your decision - that you weren't pushed into it by the school or by the doctors, that you have made the best decision for your child.

Full disclosure: It takes 6 medications taken at specific times of day to dim my migraine down to a basic dull-headache. If I miss ONE of them, I'm in a world of hurt for several days, literally.

My niece has ADHD. She would get so frustrated at no one understanding her or not understanding them that she would have complete melt-downs at school (and at home but not as often). She'd flail and get even more upset. This happened only once on a good day. Nothing (diet, therapy, etc) worked for two years. She was getting older and harder to control. Then they gave her a med. Once a day and she was much more normal. Still distracted at the drop of the hat, but she could finally focus. She could pay attention to the therapist and learn coping skills so she wasn't freaking out every day. She's in middle school now and has been stepped-off the medication and is doing well. The one thing her mother said was "I wish I hadn't resisted the medication so long. She's so much happier now."

[kgb18]

I think what I would tell my kids would depend on the age, situation, etc. For instance, we give DD melatonin at night to help her fall asleep. She is 3. We just call it her "bedtime candy." It's in gummy form. I think if I told her what it was she would fight sleep even harder.


I like this:

One of my best friends has an 8 year old son with ADD. She has chosen to medicate him because he was having a horrible time focusing in school and was falling behind despite him being a very bright kid. 

she told him it was a "focus" pill and would help him block out all the noises and activities in the classroom that drew his attention away from the teacher.

It's honest, but at the level of what an 8-year-old can grasp.

[telephus44]

We talk a lot about the stigma of mental illness.  I think most people on here would agree that it's ok to admit that you have a mental illness and get help for it. 

There is a similar stigma towards medication for mental illness.  People think it's a cop-out to take medication.  It's ok to go to a therapist, or exercise, or change your diet, but it's not ok to take medication.

[Apple]

Apr 2, 2013 9:41:10 GMT -5 telephus44 said:

There is a similar stigma towards medication for mental illness.  People think it's a cop-out to take medication.  It's ok to go to a therapist, or exercise, or change your diet, but it's not ok to take medication.

Seems like a lot of people have that view and I'm not sure how to change it.  I see the medication for mental illness like the medication for my thyroid.  It's something I *have* to take.  Can I live without it?  For a while, yes, but it will do irreparable damage, and my quality of life will really suffer, my hair will fall out, I'll be chronically tired, I'll gain weight, I'll get bi-polar like mood swings.

I think other people see it like liposuction, "the lazy man's way out".  No one *needs* liposuction, if they'd work harder, if they diet, if they had better will power they could lose the weight on their own.  Liposuction is for lazy people who don't want to put in the work.

Mental illness medication does not equal liposuction.  If I have treated Graves Disease, diet and exercise and will power will not change that.  Medication does.  It took finding the right dose and the right brand, but my life is completely different when it's all "correct". 

[Formerly SK]

Apr 1, 2013 20:53:46 GMT -5 kgb18 said:

I think what I would tell my kids would depend on the age, situation, etc. For instance, we give DD melatonin at night to help her fall asleep. She is 3. We just call it her "bedtime candy." It's in gummy form. I think if I told her what it was she would fight sleep even harder.


I like this:

One of my best friends has an 8 year old son with ADD. She has chosen to medicate him because he was having a horrible time focusing in school and was falling behind despite him being a very bright kid. 

she told him it was a "focus" pill and would help him block out all the noises and activities in the classroom that drew his attention away from the teacher.

It's honest, but at the level of what an 8-year-old can grasp.

That's kind of interesting.  We've had DS on melatonin for about a year now for sleep.  His mind races at night and even with the melatonin he'll be up for hours drawing mazes or creating equations.  Nighttime is definitely the most stressful time for him because he can't stop thinking.  We told him the melatonin was to help him sleep - I wonder if that added stress when he realized it wasn't working? 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

People think it's a cop-out to take medication.  It's ok to go to a therapist, or exercise, or change your diet, but it's not ok to take medication

I want to punch people who say basically if DH tried harder he would not need anti-depressants.  They have no clue what type of person DH is without them. 

I would be upfront about it because I don't think there is any shame in admitting you have a problem and you got help.  Screw people who don't think you got the "right" help.  The decision is between you, your doctor and in the case of a minor the parents.  Nobody else has the right to decide those things for you.

I'd also call it medicine because I strongly disagree with calling medicine by any other name (vitamin, candy etc).  Personally I feel like it blurs the line for kids and can set them up to swallow things they shouldn't because they don't understanding there is a difference.

[Shooby]

  I think that mental health issues for the most part should involve a combination therapy.  Meds may indeed be useful and helpful.  But i think the best approach would be a combination of medication with talk therapy/behavior modification.  A lot of mental health issues would vastly improve with both of these together.  There may be a physiological component but one's approach to life, underlying beliefs and thoughts and so forth may also come into play.  I think putting a child on ADHD meds is necessary but i think the child would do far better to not only do that but to incorporate strategies to help that child's approach to learning.

[Formerly SK]

Apr 2, 2013 10:47:52 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  I think that mental health issues for the most part should involve a combination therapy.  Meds may indeed be useful and helpful.  But i think the best approach would be a combination of medication with talk therapy/behavior modification.  A lot of mental health issues would vastly improve with both of these together.  There may be a physiological component but one's approach to life, underlying beliefs and thoughts and so forth may also come into play.  I think putting a child on ADHD meds is necessary but i think the child would do far better to not only do that but to incorporate strategies to help that child's approach to learning.

I think ideally you are right, but it really depends on the child.  Even on meds, my son can only follow a one-part command <50% of the time.  Like, I can't tell him to go brush his teeth and expect him to do it because he'll get distracted on the way to the bathroom.  When you are at that level of disability, it's hard to remember strategies.  Not that I've given up on trying, but he just isn't capable of it yet. 

[Shooby]

  Not all strategies will be successful.  But, you have to try various approaches to helping the child learn, organize his thoughts and complete the assignments.  I do think that far too often, medication is given without any consideration for the psychological and practical aspects.

[Shooby]

  And, i would apply that to other mental health conditions like anxiety, depression and so forth. 

[Chocolate Lover]

Apr 1, 2013 17:46:13 GMT -5 oped said:

Chocolate, I think kids can describe, in their own way, what they feel. However, the diagnosis is generally not made on such details... The diagnosis is based on observed behavior. 

Yes, we are all different. I just dont subscribe to the idea that because we are different we are disordered.

i also am trying to understand the juxtaposition of 'of course you should tell them hy have ADD' with ''why tell them they have a psychiatric disorder' ... That's what it is...    I think that is WHY there was the question to begin with.

Do you have ADHD kids? Are you ADHD? I have some experience trying to get a description out of a child that has no basis of comparison. It is what it is for him, he knows nothing different and description is not his strong suit.  Even my mother, at 65, has a hard time describing how it is. I gave her the ping pong analogy and she agreed with it.  The diagnosis is made with the observed behavior with children but I'm pretty sure it's not just that with adults. The adults get to put their 2 cents in, if you will. 

My point is why even tell a child what they have is a psychiatric disorder at the age of 6. (Isn't that the age of the kid we were discussing?) To a child that age, a doctor is a doctor is a doctor. Unless the parent makes an issue of it, the kid has no idea what the difference is. From a kid's point of view, you get touched a bit less at the psychiatric office than the medial office.

You can tell a child that they have a condition that needs to be treated and get into the whole psychiatric thing when they're at an age to understand it. No need to make them feel any different to the kid who needs his asthma treated or something. Does that make sense?

[kgb18]

That's kind of interesting.  We've had DS on melatonin for about a year now for sleep.  His mind races at night and even with the melatonin he'll be up for hours drawing mazes or creating equations.  Nighttime is definitely the most stressful time for him because he can't stop thinking.  We told him the melatonin was to help him sleep - I wonder if that added stress when he realized it wasn't working? 

Maybe. The melatonin has been a blessing for us. It would take DD hours to go to sleep at night no matter what we tried (earlier naps, no naps, different bedtime routines, etc.). She just can't seem to slow her mind down. The melatonin has been wonderful. She's asleep most nights within 20 minutes of putting her to bed. How old is your son, SK?

[Shooby]

Are pediatricians cool with giving a child melatonin to sleep?

[Deleted]

Chocolate, I didn't say you should tell them that. In fact I said I think issue specific information, ie. improving focus, is much better. I was addressing those that said why wouldn't you tell them. I think that is WHY we are having the discussion, be use there are reasons to consider what and how you discuss it. 

As far as the other, I said a child can describe in their own way what they re feeling. But that has almost no impact at all on diagnosis and treatment. ADD and ADHD are diagnosed via checklists of observed behavior. That is not disputable   .... 

My kid will never have an ADD diagnosis because I am lucky to not have to ever put him in a situation in which he is/was developmentally unprepred and skill/affinity deficient. I probably would have been identified if they done that back then. I'm sure he would have had problems if I had put him in school when it is recommended, although I think now he would adapt.

i have an MS in education, a BS in Special Ed, have worked with MHMR populations since I was 18/19. I'm a strong believer hat what s generally most broken is the ENVIRONMENT, not the child. While medication can play a role in assisting people to mitigate their environments, I am opposed to labeling people deficient and disordered simply because they might be different and not ideally suited o the manufactured mainstream social institutions we have created....

[milee]

Apr 2, 2013 13:07:55 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Are pediatricians cool with giving a child melatonin to sleep?

It's often recommended by pediatricians and also child psychiatrists for kids who are on ADHD medicine.  At least I know it was for my son and the kids of at least 4 other parents I know who have discussed it with me.

[Shooby]

OK.  I just haven't heard it being recommended for kids. 

[milee]

Apr 2, 2013 13:19:40 GMT -5 oped said:

My kid will never have an ADD diagnosis because I am lucky to not have to ever put him in a situation in which he is/was developmentally unprepred and skill/affinity deficient. I probably would have been identified if they I'd that bak then. I'm sure he would have had problems if I had put him in school hen it is recommended, although I think now he would adapt.

i have an MS in education, a BS in Special Ed, have worked with MHMR populations since I was 18/19. I'm a strong believer hat what s generally most broken is the ENVIRONMENT, not the child. While medication can play a role in assisting people to mitigate their environments, I am opposed to labeling people deficient and disordered simply because they might be different and not ideally suited o the manufactured mainstream social institutions we have created....

I don't disagree that some of the environment requirements of traditional education are unreasonable and not developmentally appropriate... for just about any child.

As far as not putting a child that exhibits signs of ADHD into a traditional educational environment, that's very reasonable.  What mechanisms are you teaching him to help with environments he may not be able to avoid as an adult or are you teaching him to just avoid those environments?

[Shooby]

Personally, i think a lot of the behavior in some of these kids could be improved with quality RECESS and EXERCISE.  They expect these kids to sit in a classroom all day.  I believe that if they let the kids go out for a least a good half hour plus of exercise outside in the fresh air, that would help them concentrate in school better.    Nowadays if it isn't perfectly sunny and 70, they don't even want to take the younger kids out.  Barring a monsoon, kids should be pushed out onto the playground.  And, teens need exercise as well.

[Deleted]

Honestly milee a lot of what I saw in him as a child has lessened developmentally. He was never as severe as some kids i know, but i also know enough of schools to know he would have struggled and soon lerned to hate it given the current environment. of course we work on strategies, especially as he gets older and has the abstract reaoning skills to better undertand and employ them. im also a lot like him, so that helps. we are more direct in teaching social skils, or maybe we arent? i guess i dont know how 'regular people' learn that stuff?

I would always encourage work which is in keeping with his needs and interests. Which we can do in this environment...   Not sure what all you are looking for...

[Formerly SK]

Apr 2, 2013 12:15:28 GMT -5 kgb18 said:

That's kind of interesting.  We've had DS on melatonin for about a year now for sleep.  His mind races at night and even with the melatonin he'll be up for hours drawing mazes or creating equations.  Nighttime is definitely the most stressful time for him because he can't stop thinking.  We told him the melatonin was to help him sleep - I wonder if that added stress when he realized it wasn't working? 

Maybe. The melatonin has been a blessing for us. It would take DD hours to go to sleep at night no matter what we tried (earlier naps, no naps, different bedtime routines, etc.). She just can't seem to slow her mind down. The melatonin has been wonderful. She's asleep most nights within 20 minutes of putting her to bed. How old is your son, SK?

He's 8.  Melatonin was great for us as well initially (asleep in 1 hour instead of 2-3 hours).  Now it doesn't seem to work (and we have him on 3mg).  Plus he often gets up in the night and will be awake for a couple hours - which melatonin wouldn't help with.  I'm hoping the Intuniv will help with this more honestly.  We're just starting it in the past month so we'll see how it goes.

Shooby - I've talked with several drs about melatonin and yes it is considered safe.  One dr even told me he has ped patients on 10mg/day.  Not that I don't worry - my son is now on three daily drugs.    But, it is the lesser of two evils in his case.  

[kgb18]

He's 8.  Melatonin was great for us as well initially (asleep in 1 hour instead of 2-3 hours).  Now it doesn't seem to work (and we have him on 3mg).  Plus he often gets up in the night and will be awake for a couple hours - which melatonin wouldn't help with.  I'm hoping the Intuniv will help with this more honestly.  We're just starting it in the past month so we'll see how it goes.

Shooby - I've talked with several drs about melatonin and yes it is considered safe.  One dr even told me he has ped patients on 10mg/day.  Not that I don't worry - my son is now on three daily drugs.    But, it is the lesser of two evils in his case. 

I hope it doesn't stop working for DD eventually. She also wakes in the night, but she usually puts herself back to sleep within 10 minutes or so.

Our pediatrician recommended the melatonin. It's something our bodies produce naturally. She said you can't get addicted to it or overdose on it.

As of right now, DD doesn't have any diagnosis, like ADHD or anything. She's active, but so far she's able to sit in preschool, focus on tasks, follow directions, etc. It's just that her little mind won't stop when it's time to sleep.