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Post by privateinvestor on Feb 10, 2011 10:06:24 GMT -5
A bus on a busy street struck a Catholic man.
He was lying near death on the sidewalk as a crowd gathered.
"A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasped.
Long seconds dragged on but no one stepped out of the crowd.
A policeman checked the crowd and finally yelled, "A PRIEST, PLEASE! Isn't there a priest in this crowd to give this man his last rites?"
Finally, out of the crowd stepped a little old Jewish man in his 80s. "Mr. Policeman," said the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Christian. But for 50 years now, I'm living behind the Catholic Church on Second Avenue, and every night I'm overhearing their services. I can recall a lot of it, and maybe I can be of some comfort to this poor man."
The policeman agreed, and cleared the crowd so the man could get through to where the injured man lay.
The old Jewish man knelt down, leaned over the man and said in a solemn voice:
B-5 .... I-19 ... N-38 ... G-54 .... O-72
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 10, 2011 10:13:57 GMT -5
 That's the sum total of my comment 
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Feb 10, 2011 10:23:45 GMT -5
Poor guy.  No last rites, hope he led a pure life. |
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The J
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Post by The J on Feb 10, 2011 11:07:11 GMT -5
Poor guy. No last rites, hope he led a pure life. joke /dʒoʊk/ Show Spelled [johk] Show IPA noun, verb, joked, jok·ing. –noun 1. something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him. 2. something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke. 3. a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke. 4. something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class. 5. practical joke. –verb (used without object) 6. to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us. 7. to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn't really mean it, he was only joking. –verb (used with object) 8. to subject to jokes; make fun of; tease. 9. to obtain by joking: The comedian joked coins from the audience. dictionary.reference.com/browse/joke |
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Feb 10, 2011 12:36:22 GMT -5
 My statement musta been toooo dry.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Feb 10, 2011 12:41:07 GMT -5
A <snicker> behind my 'dry' statement [ Poor guy. No last rites, hope he led a pure life.] might have made it 'wet' enough. |
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Colleenz
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Post by Colleenz on Feb 10, 2011 13:30:36 GMT -5
A man asked his wife what she'd like for Valentines day "I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On Valentines morning , he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was!
Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure! Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.
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Post by privateinvestor on Feb 10, 2011 15:26:54 GMT -5
colleenz I liked your joke better than the one I posted about Catholics...and was your's a true story??
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Colleenz
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Post by Colleenz on Feb 10, 2011 15:45:33 GMT -5
No - Not a true story at all. DH actually sent me flowers today at work for an early V-Day present. I got one of the good guys!
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No last rites, hope he led a pure life.
