They are so in love

[thyme4change]

When you meet young couples that are in the early stages of their relationship - let's say the first two years - what signs are there that they are very in love.

The ones I remember were things like:
 - touching often (holding hands, etc.)
 - seeming to have the need to be next to each other (like moving across the room at a party to be next to their sweety)
 - the face lighting up
 

[swamp]

<p>The urge for me to vomit when I'm near them. <img alt=" " src="http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png" width="18" height="18" text=""></p>

[hoops902]

A hot chick walks past and the guy isn't staring at her.

[zibazinski]

DF and I still do. We waited many years to be a couple again.

[Sum Dum Gai]

When you meet young couples that are in the early stages of their relationship - let's say the first two years -

I usually make myself scarce so I don't lose my lunch.  Unless they're giving relationship or parenting advice.  That I love!  For real.  The wife and I sit there soaking up the stupidity and spend the rest of the evening guessing how much karma is going to bite them in the ass in a few years.  The really really obnoxious lovey dovey couples we usually place an over/under on how long they'll last after our first meeting.  So far my overall record on those is better since I tend to take the unders.

[swamp]

talking about "we" all the time instead of "me."
We think that blah blah blah. 

[Deleted]

Rubbing each other's back while they are throwing up from the grain alcohol punch.

[Tennesseer]

Mar 25, 2013 12:15:28 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

When you meet young couples that are in the early stages of their relationship - let's say the first two years -

I usually make myself scarce so I don't lose my lunch.  Unless they're giving relationship or parenting advice.  That I love!  For real.  The wife and I sit there soaking up the stupidity and spend the rest of the evening guessing how much karma is going to bite them in the ass in a few years.  The really really obnoxious lovey dovey couples we usually place an over/under on how long they'll last after our first meeting.  So far my overall record on those is better since I tend to take the unders.

Everyone Loves Raymond did an entire episode on this exact thing. Funny episode.

[alabamagal]

Timely topic. I just spent some time with my boys (20 and 18) and their girlfriends this past weekend. I see so many positive changes in my boys, partly from maturing and partly from having nice girlfriends. Of course I always wonder if there are 2 other sets of parents wondering what their daughters are doing with my sons. Here is what I see

DS1 (20 yr old) has been dating his gf for 2+ years. He is my ADD son who was very quiet and kept to himself. With gf, he is much more talkative and sociable. He went from moody teenager to someone who now cares about others.

DS2 (18 yr old) has a gf who is pescatarian (vegetarian who eats seafood). They were here for 3 days and he requested foods that she could eat. I even saw him eating a spinach salad!

[alabamagal]

 

[Queen of Interesting Nuts]

I usually make myself scarce so I don't lose my lunch.  Unless they're giving relationship or parenting advice.  That I love!  For real.  The husband and I sit there soaking up the stupidity and spend the rest of the evening guessing how much karma is going to bite them in the ass in a few years.  The really really obnoxious (married and had children young and got about 11 or so years of marriage couples we usually place an over/under on how long they'll last after our first meeting.  So far my overall record on those is better since I tend to take the unders.

[thyme4change]

Isn't there anything you see in a couple that indicates they are in a good relationship?  Versus just being annoyed by them?

[thyme4change]

Isn't there anything you see in a couple that indicates they are in a good relationship?  Versus just being annoyed by them?

[Deleted]

Ignoring the obvious - like they have very different views on finances and fidelity.

Being judgemental about the way long term couples behave.

[swamp]

Mar 25, 2013 12:25:29 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Isn't there anything you see in a couple that indicates they are in a good relationship?  Versus just being annoyed by them?

Ive found the ones that gush on and on about how wonderful their partner is and how happy they are and how perfect their relationship is full of shit. 

[Sum Dum Gai]

Isn't there anything you see in a couple that indicates they are in a good relationship?  Versus just being annoyed by them?

Yeah, they're both still basically the same person they were prior to the relationship, only slightly better because they really do compliment each other personality wise.  The ones where they either both turn into lovey dovey gushing morons, or one partner drastically changes to keep the other partner happy, I usually propose 3 years and take the under.

[zibazinski]

Oh, ours isn't perfect by any means, but I like it.

[thyme4change]

Yeah, they're both still basically the same person they were prior to the relationship, only slightly better because they really do compliment each other personality wise.

So, even though they are still new in the relationship, they don't seem excited about the other person at all?  And just act the same?


Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe the marriage will last forever.  But, I just don't see any joy in this woman's face.  Not when he is in the room, not when she is talking about him, not when he walks in.  She is just "meh" about the whole thing.  It took me 12 years before I would be like "whatever" when DH walked into the room.


[/span]

[Sum Dum Gai]

So, even though they are still new in the relationship, they don't seem excited about the other person at all?  And just act the same?

Tempered excitement.  Gushing moron doesn't look good on anyone.

[thyme4change]

I don't need gushing.  Just some hint that she actually cares if he exists or not.

[thyme4change]

Okay - I never said gushing.  I went back and re-read.  I'm looking for the subtle signs.  Help me out here.  What am I missing?

[Deleted]

In love or in lust?

[swamp]

Mar 25, 2013 12:48:15 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Okay - I never said gushing.  I went back and re-read.  I'm looking for the subtle signs.  Help me out here.  What am I missing?

You usually see the person "light up" when the other comes in the room, they speak fondly of the other person, they pay attention to them when they talk, subtle touches. 

[Sum Dum Gai]

I'm looking for the subtle signs.  Help me out here.  What am I missing?

They both look happy, all their friends agree they're perfect for each other/complete each other, they started out fairly similarly to begin with.  Everyone is in love right when they fall in love.  That's the easy part.  It's also totally meaningless.  Relationships don't fail because they didn't love each other during the honeymoon period.  Relationships fail because they have vastly different goals and outlooks on life, or they can't work out the problems that come up because they don't communicate.  You ever been to a wedding where the bride and groom look like the perfect stupid sappy couple, but all their friends are like "Wow, he/she never dates men/women like that.  I can't believe they ended up together"?  Or talk about how much they've changed since they started dating?  Those are the ones that are doomed no matter how often they hold hands as newlyweds.

[thyme4change]

Dark - that is the problem I have with this couple.  "On paper" they are perfect.  But she just looks like he is wall paper.  I'm afraid she is marrying him because everyone is telling her that he is perfect for her because of A, B, C and D.  And all of that just might be true.  But if she isn't happy that he is in the room with her, I can't see how she is going to be happy that he is going to move in and be there all the time.

[thyme4change]

Is the person normally excitable, or is she "meh" about pretty much everything else, too?

[/span]

She is pretty expressive.  She is usually pretty clear on her excitement about one thing or another.  

[Sum Dum Gai]

But if she isn't happy that he is in the room with her, I can't see how she is going to be happy that he is going to move in and be there all the time.

They're getting married.. neither of them will be happy to be in the same room with the other quick enough.  They're just skipping the newlywed phase and going straight to boring old couple.  They sound perfect.  I give them 60 years together.

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2013 13:10:24 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Dark - that is the problem I have with this couple.  "On paper" they are perfect.  But she just looks like he is wall paper.  I'm afraid she is marrying him because everyone is telling her that he is perfect for her because of A, B, C and D.  And all of that just might be true.  But if she isn't happy that he is in the room with her, I can't see how she is going to be happy that he is going to move in and be there all the time.

How long have they been together?
Maybe they are just over the new relationship/lust hump and into real life where he annoys the crap out of her some of the time and perpetually leaves his beard hair in the sink.  Love seems like the part where you recognize just how gross the other person is but you can't imagine being without them anyway.

[thyme4change]

7 months - long distance relationship.  One time she mentioned he was coming into town.  She rolled her eyes and sighed heavy.  And then said "I just have so much to do this weekend.  He will be in the way."  

I agree that if they had been married 10 years and I met them, I wouldn't think twice about it.  But less than a year and you aren't even excited to see him after being apart for 2 weeks?  That is just a red flag for me.  

[Deleted]

Oh hell, a long distance relationship - after 7 months they should still be solidly in the lust phase and trying to shield the other person from just how gross they really are.