One Upper

[Deleted]

Do you know a One Upper (someone that always has a better story)? What kind of One Upper stories do you have? 

My recent favorite is a bird story. A coworker was saying that a bird flew into her living room window and died. One Upper said she has two or three birds hit her window every night. All I could think of was a mound of dead birds in her yard.

Let's hear your One Upper stories.

[dannylion]

I used to work with a guy who was a pathologic liar whose lies often took the form of one-upmanship. 

In conversation on day another colleague mentioned having served in Vietnam.  One-Upper retorted with "That's nothing, I served in the Korean War and Vietnam."  Had that been true, the remark would simply have been rude (not to mention pointless).  However, One-Upper was my age, born in 1948.  We were all aware of and tired of his games by that time, so he was firmly put in his place when everyone refused to believe he had served in the Korean War as he would have been a toddler at the time.  He tried to claim what he meant was that he had served Vietnam and had also been stationed in Korea, but he had forgotten that I was in the military at the same time he was from basic training on, and we had both been stationed in the same places at pretty much the same times, none of which included Vietnam or Korea.  He also used to tell other people's war stories, very often in the presence of the people they actually happened to.  He did that to me more than once.  By then, we'd just say, "No, One-Upper, that didn't happen to you."  He'd bluster a bit and then shut up for awhile, but he'd eventually come out with some other stupid lie and get shot down again.  One of his biggest one-uppers occurred whenever someone mentioned studying any form of martial arts.  One-Upper not only always claimed to be proficient in whatever martial art was under discussion but invariably claimed to have "studied with the master" in some exotic location.  The targets of this particular game got fed up with him and hatched a plot to invent a form of martial arts and see what happened.  So, one day they were talking about signing up for a course in "made-up martial art" and sure enough, One-Upper claimed to be an expert and to have "studied with the master."  I wasn't there for that one, so I don't know how it ended.  I doubt he learned anything from it, though.  He eventually moved to Texas. 

[mollyanna58]

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Oh, Bluester, that's nothing.  I remember when *I*...

[motherto2]

i used to work with a woman like that.  It was always either better or worse, whichever worked for her.  One time I said something about the amount of clothes that DD had been given (can't remember exactly what it was now) and she blurted out that her DD had 100 prs of pants.  It got to be funny how much she had to one up people.  I think it was mostly me, because we had daughters in the same grade and sons that were a year apart.  Everything was always dramatic.  She used to say her DD insisted on going to school on a day where she was running 101 temperature.  I would tell her that she shouldn't have let DD have her way because it wasn't fair being around others while sick.  She would say I told her she shouldn't go, but she insisted.  Her DD was about 8 at the time

[Deleted]

I don't think I'm a one upper, but I have noticed that maybe I 'me too' a lot. I think, in my mind, its my way of trying to be empathetic, show I understand, that I get what a person is going thru. But it often doesn't come across this way, I don't think?   I've been working on it... Sigh, some day ill get a handle on this human interaction thing...


eta: edited for spelling and liked my own post again by accident, sigh. It never works for me to press agin o turn it off,   And then I feel like I need to explain that I'm not going around liking myself .. Lol

[Nazgul Girl]

   I worked with one woman who always found the best bargains at Meijer and Kmart, and whose daughter was always on the dance team that won the big competition.   Always.   She is just tiresome, but still funny.

   The only other one-upper was a man who only one-upped people when it came to things automotive.   His cars always got better milage than everyone else's, or he had done some fantastic rebuild over the weekend, or he had traded some jalopy he had for an unbelievable dirt bike with a killer paint job, or something.   If you said the word car, motorcycle or motor, he had a story.   In all other ways, he was a very nice person.   But he was the world's greatest mechanic and trader.   Just ask him.  

[Virgil Showlion]

Mar 11, 2013 19:07:09 GMT -5 @bluester said:

Do you know a One Upper (someone that always has a better story)? What kind of One Upper stories do you have? 

My recent favorite is a bird story. A coworker was saying that a bird flew into her living room window and died. One Upper said she has two or three birds hit her window every night. All I could think of was a mound of dead birds in her yard.

Let's hear your One Upper stories.

The Dilbert comic strip has a recurring character called "the topper" who meets your definition exactly.

Toppers are good for a game called "knee jerkin'" (as coined by cartoonist Lisa Sorenson). The object of the game is to see how quickly you can get a person to blatantly contradict him/herself. With toppers, you can make an argument, wait for them to top you, then change your position. Genuine toppers will swing the other way without hesitation.

Good topics to try out are: kids these days, anything to do with healthcare, whether technology is good or bad, living conditions in your home city. If you're up for a real challenge, try to get a topper to completely reverse his/her position twice. Much harder, but it can be done.

[Happy prose]

I work with a woman who was always sicker than you. I have a headache; I had a brain tumor once. I pulled something in my foot; my foot was run over by a truck. On and on....

[dannylion]

Mar 11, 2013 21:35:11 GMT -5 Happy prose said:

I work with a woman who was always sicker than you. I have a headache; I had a brain tumor once. I pulled something in my foot; my foot was run over by a truck. On and on....

I worked with someone like that.  We learned never to say "how are you?" because she would tell us.  At length. 

[susanb]

Mar 11, 2013 21:20:51 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Toppers are good for a game called "knee jerkin'" (as coined by cartoonist Lisa Sorenson). The object of the game is to see how quickly you can get a person to blatantly contradict him/herself. With toppers, you can make an argument, wait for them to top you, then change your position. Genuine toppers will swing the other way without hesitation.

The one upper I work with contradicts themselves a lot. 

One of our co-workers grew up in the ghetto and told us about how girls in their school used to hide razor blades in their hair before fights.  One upper, of course, grew up more ghetto.

A few weeks later the same co-worker mentioned meeting Holly Madison while working as a DJ (side gig and hobby) and how nice she was.  One upper chimed in about how everyone they grew up with was uber rich and/or a model. 

Our one upper is a really nice person though, so we just overlook the contradictions, just like on upper has to overlook that I am 10X nicer after 10 am than I am before 10 am. 

[amishgal]

Mar 11, 2013 21:35:11 GMT -5 Happy prose said:

I work with a woman who was always sicker than you. I have a headache; I had a brain tumor once. I pulled something in my foot; my foot was run over by a truck. On and on....

That's my MIL! No matter what test or procedure you're having, she had it first! Anytime a friend or family member is pregnant and due dates are discussed, we get to hear in detail how she was A WHOLE MONTH LATE (bullshit) with her son. Even if that would have been the case, it was 40 freaking years ago, let it go!

[swamp]

Pfft.  I know more people who are one uppers that you. <img alt=" " src="http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png" width="18" height="18" text="">

[Deleted]

Pfffft! Mine is a two-upper! 

[Queen of Interesting Nuts]

Dh and I went out to dinner last Nov with two couples and very quickly the subject got onto vacations. The other two couples were going on and on it was actually getting quite comical to me, so much that I looked at DH and raised my eyebrow like " are we on candid camera or something" It was so unbelievable crass in the end that it really put me of them.

[happyhoix]

One of my sisters is the opposite of this - the Downer, I guess.

If I mention work is busy, she tells me that her work is horrible. If I complain about my boss, she has to tell me about her abusive, satanic, baby eating boss. If I mention that we're trying to build back our emergency fund from our natural disaster, she tells me how broke she is. If I get a cold, she's had the flu. If it's raining at my house, they're in the middle of a hurricane.

She works a part time job a few hours a week and they usually have at least three vacations per year. Her house is nicer than any of the other sibling's houses. But to hear her talk about how wretched her life is, she might be a character from Dickens.

[Deleted]

"She works a part time job a few hours a week and they usually have at least three vacations per year. Her house is nicer than any of the other sibling's houses."

She is saying those things so you or anybody in your family don't go to them for loans She is probably lurking around on YM and got the idea from that

[movingforward]

I used to work with a lady who was the one-upper when it came to being broke.  If anyone even mentioned money she would go on and on about how broke she was.  Her favorite line was "I am so broke I can't even afford to pay attention."  The she would go out for Chinese food