8 Bit WWBG
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Your Money admin
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 9, 2013 16:21:30 GMT -5
If that is the case, then it is all splittable as I've yet to contribute. If things head in that direction, I'll spend my money flying around the country buying drinks for all of you who have been kind enough to converse with me over the years. Bonuses for those who have given really good advice or gotten in some good zingers. I owe swamp a large pitcher of something.
Actually thats not a bad idea. The WWBG "We Will Be Drinkin' Tour".
OK, I'm going to go work out so I can be in really good shape if this comes to pass...
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Mar 9, 2013 17:13:07 GMT -5
Have you checked with your employer to see if you have an Employee Assistance Program? A lot of large employers offer free counseling services through EAP that is separate from your health insurance. My employer's is run through the human resources department, so you may be able to find something on your HR web page.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Mar 9, 2013 17:43:10 GMT -5
Concerning the original question....Yes, DH and I both multitask when we are on the phone with each other. Unless we are in a meeting/appointment, we always take each other's calls. However, if I call DH to talk about something that isn't important and he is in the middle of a task that requires concentration, he mmhmms and doesn't pay attention. I do the same to him. It seems like a good trade off for knowing we can reach each other if something is important. If it were something important, he would drop everything.
Concerning the marriage/counseling/divorce thing. I know you love your wife, but if you don't love and respect the hell out of her, I don't see where this can possibly go. My husband is one of the three people I respect most in this world, and our marriage is still really hard and a lot of work. Before counseling, I didn't respect him nearly as much as I do now. It was impossible.
Life is too short to spend it in an unhappy marriage. As you already see, barring tragedy, nothing impacts your finances, life and happiness as much as your choice in a partner. If you have chosen someone you can respect and share goals/build a life with, get yourself to counseling. No matter what it costs, it is cheaper than the road you are on now. If you haven't chosen someone you can respect and share goals/build a life with, get out now. It will never be cheaper to get out than it is today.
Finally, DH and I have gone to three counselors. Each of them gave us a 20% discount for paying in cash.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Mar 9, 2013 18:48:51 GMT -5
If that is the case, then it is all splittable as I've yet to contribute. If things head in that direction, I'll spend my money flying around the country buying drinks for all of you who have been kind enough to converse with me over the years. Bonuses for those who have given really good advice or gotten in some good zingers. I owe swamp a large pitcher of something. Actually thats not a bad idea. The WWBG "We Will Be Drinkin' Tour". OK, I'm going to go work out so I can be in really good shape if this comes to pass... Hey you don't even have to take a flight to buy me one. I'll say it again, do what makes you happy and quit catering to your DW. She doesn't appreciate it.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 9, 2013 19:02:00 GMT -5
I do it sometimes when I'm on the phone for a long time. It isn't because I want to ignore the person, it's because I'm a very visual/action oriented person and listening to things makes me zone out (It's the same thing when listening to music, being in class, etc. In order to keep my attention (even on a subject I'm totally interested in), I need to be watching or doing something. So when on the phone, I tend to start doing something to occupy my hands & eyes. Of course, this reduces my attention to the phone. My friends and family know this and I prefer to go see them in person, even if our visit consists of talking while we run their errands or they clean their house. You are not alone in this. It drives people crazy that I can have two TV's going on different channels, stereo playing in one room and reading a book. I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it what is on tv or stereo. If I am watching TV and get a phone call I hit mute and have closed caption to read while talking.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 9, 2013 19:03:30 GMT -5
Ya know, Gowron, this isn't really all that difficult. It just seems difficult to you because you're in the habit of doing things a certain way. Obviously, if it's causing you discomfort it's time to change the way you do things. Leave the DW alone. Let her make her own way. Her life isn't your job and you're wasting your time trying to live it for her. At least, that's the way it seems to me.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 9, 2013 22:47:47 GMT -5
I have a friend to whom I talk to once a week on the phone. She can talk non-stop for 3 hours with me not getting a word in. I do a lot of tuning out as much of her monologues are things I have heard numerous times. I have been guilty of putting the phone down because she talks so loud, I can hear if she stops and I'm supposed to say um or huh or what was that again.
I enjoyed her much better when we lived in the same place and we saw each other in small doses instead of these 3 hour marathon phone calls that I usually end.
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Mardi Gras Audrey
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Post by Mardi Gras Audrey on Mar 10, 2013 1:52:08 GMT -5
I do it sometimes when I'm on the phone for a long time. It isn't because I want to ignore the person, it's because I'm a very visual/action oriented person and listening to things makes me zone out (It's the same thing when listening to music, being in class, etc. In order to keep my attention (even on a subject I'm totally interested in), I need to be watching or doing something. So when on the phone, I tend to start doing something to occupy my hands & eyes. Of course, this reduces my attention to the phone. My friends and family know this and I prefer to go see them in person, even if our visit consists of talking while we run their errands or they clean their house. You are not alone in this. It drives people crazy that I can have two TV's going on different channels, stereo playing in one room and reading a book. I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it what is on tv or stereo. If I am watching TV and get a phone call I hit mute and have closed caption to read while talking. Sister, I totally hear you! I love Closed Captioning for this! I hate all the new TVs though because they seem to hide the CC option... I love my old TVs (from the early 1990s) that had the CC button easily accessible on the remote... makes any phone call easier to conduct!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 10, 2013 7:52:28 GMT -5
WWBG, counseling will help YOU make decisions concerning your life. We can only go on what you tell us. You may be very well pushing your wife's buttons so hard that she's considering a pillow over your face at night. We don't know. We are on your side because you are here and we care about you. Just like we begged you not to get married, we are begging you to get counseling. Much easier to split the sheets now than later. Ask poor DF who had to pay out half and that woman will collect when he dies as well as until the end of 2017.
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Mar 10, 2013 23:00:24 GMT -5
Anyone know someone who is like this: who just can't possibly devote their full attention; and then they keep asking you to repeat things or they pause for a long time before replying because they are doing something else and aren't really focusing? Then they give you really simplistic answers because they aren't really paying attention? Yeah- I don't talk to them very much anymore. I also endeavor not to bore people to death with pointless monologues.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 11, 2013 8:14:45 GMT -5
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