justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
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Post by justme on Mar 7, 2013 1:16:38 GMT -5
I will throw you a loop! A friend of mine agreed to be a surrogate. After two rounds of failed IVF (or maybe just one) she said--"you know I am very certain if I have sex with my BF I will get pregnant" she got the BF to agree and she was right immediately got prego! Both agreed before trying that they were going to give the baby to the couple--everything is fine and that is most likely what will happen. I worry if the baby is born with something wrong the adoptive couple won't want it! Not sure what whose rights are in that situation since it isn't actually a surrogacy! Do the people wanting the child know, or is it like RL of that Tina/Amy movie from a few years ago?
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muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
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Post by muttleynfelix on Mar 7, 2013 9:17:17 GMT -5
NO WAY IN HELL!!!!! It was miserable, miserable, miserable and you could not pay me enough to do be pregnant again. I'll leave out the first 8 months of misery. The last month my legs would intermittantly go numb and I would have excrutiating pain from my low back through my hips and down my legs from the baby sitting on my sciatic nerve. I wanted to curl up in a ball and die. The only thing that hurt worse was the baby crowning and that was over in like a minute. The back leg issue went on for most of a MONTH! Nevermind, I couldn't eat what I wanted, the first half because I was sick all the freaking time and the 3rd trimester because I had gestational diabetes. I would rather shovel shit than be pregnant again. Hmmm, if pregnancy is that unpleasent and dangerous. Then we could flip the equation and say if you don't want to go through the hassle of being pregnant, you contract it out and hire a surroget. Your capacity for making babies would be limited only by your imagination and the size of your bank account. Michelle Duggar makes it look easy though, she's been pregnant for something like 15 years, so it can't be that bad Yeah, the size of your bank account makes a huge difference. even though we technically have $22k "laying around", that is our EF. Spend $3k to do things the "old fashioned way" on my high deductible plan or spend $22k. Hmmm. lets think about that for a minute. Two, being pregnant is different for everyone. Every pregnancy is different, every woman is different. My first pregnancy, I wasn't too bad, but it wasn't fun. The second one was hell on earth. I doubt Michelle Duggar thought her pregnancy with their youngest child was a walk in the park when she had her via emergancy c-section at 26 weeks.
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Phoenix84
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Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 7, 2013 11:01:40 GMT -5
Well, regardless of anything else. It seems the law has some catching up to do with the reality of today's surrogecy pregnancies.
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 11, 2013 14:53:43 GMT -5
I will throw you a loop! A friend of mine agreed to be a surrogate. After two rounds of failed IVF (or maybe just one) she said--"you know I am very certain if I have sex with my BF I will get pregnant" she got the BF to agree and she was right immediately got prego! Both agreed before trying that they were going to give the baby to the couple--everything is fine and that is most likely what will happen. I worry if the baby is born with something wrong the adoptive couple won't want it! Not sure what whose rights are in that situation since it isn't actually a surrogacy! Do the people wanting the child know, or is it like RL of that Tina/Amy movie from a few years ago? Wouldn't that just be a private adoption? In this case, the adoptive parents already know the bioparents.
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Mardi Gras Audrey
Senior Member
So well rounded, I'm pointless...
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:49:31 GMT -5
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Post by Mardi Gras Audrey on Mar 11, 2013 15:01:23 GMT -5
Do the people wanting the child know, or is it like RL of that Tina/Amy movie from a few years ago? Wouldn't that just be a private adoption? In this case, the adoptive parents already know the bioparents. I think Justme was asking if the adoptive parents know that the child the surrogate is carrying is not their bio child (from IVF) but is instead the surrogate + BF's bio child. The adoptive parents may think they are getting their own bio child when they really aren't... ETA: This case would end up being a private adoption (vs surrogacy) but what if the adoptive parents don't know it? I could definitely see issues coming up in that case, especially if the adoptive parents don't know the kid isn't theirs and they are in a state where the "mother" is the adoptive mother, not the birth mother.
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 11, 2013 15:53:05 GMT -5
Ah, right. I read it as the surrogate told the bio parents and they agreed to stop IVF and just accept a newborn coming from the surrogate and her bf. But that's how I read it.
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justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
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Post by justme on Mar 11, 2013 16:00:55 GMT -5
Ah, right. I read it as the surrogate told the bio parents and they agreed to stop IVF and just accept a newborn coming from the surrogate and her bf. But that's how I read it. That makes more sense, especially since others like DVM know about it. I just read that and remember the Tina Fey/Amy Poheler film where that happened but they didn't tell (Tina) until like 6 months in that it actually wasn't her kid.
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