How have you prepared for the worst case scenario?

[Firebird]

I'm not normally a nervous flyer, but I'm taking Babybird to Pennsylvania next week by myself and I'm totally freaked out about the idea of flying that far without backup.  This weekend, I somehow also managed to get myself into a tizzy worrying about the plane crashing (not something I have ever concerned myself with before).

But it was a good thing because it made me stop and think about what would happen if something did happen to me.  And I realized that since I handle 100% of our finances, DH isn't really in a great position to just take over if I were to die.  Also, there are a lot of personal things I'd want him to deal with - but how would he know that? 

So I spent a lot of yesterday updating the passwords on all my accounts, then writing a letter to be opened in the event of my death (by DH - or if both of us should suddenly pass away, by my parents).  It contains enough information to access everything important in my life - every financial account we own, plus my email and various social media accounts.  I've also left instructions on how to access some letters I've been writing to Babybird all her life, and a list of people to notify if anything happens to me along with their contact information. 

I even wrote down who should take Babybird if both DH and I pass away, but I know we really need to write an actual will for that - as well as get permission from the guardians I had in mind once we agree on them.  So that's the next step. 

It was kind of depressing but I feel much better.  If anything ever happens to me, it'll be so much easier for DH to figure everything out now. 

What kind of provisions have you made, if any, for your spouse or family in case you suddenly pass away? 

[swamp]

the passwords to everything are typed out on a spreadsheet adn tacked up over hte computer.  we have wills, health care proxys, and powers of attorney. 

[Deleted]

I don't want people to have it easy if I die. I want people to struggle and curse God that he took me away from them .

[steph08]

I have a list of all accounts and passwords, plus our budget spreadsheet, password-protected on our home computer.

If we both die, I hope our parents will take care of the dogs.

[whoisjohngalt]

none

[Cookies Galore]

Mar 5, 2013 12:13:56 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I don't want people to have it easy if I die. I want people to struggle and curse God that he took me away from them .

I'm with Archie.

Where in PA?

[Formerly SK]

We don't have anyone we want to take the kids if we die, let alone a document stating it. 

Our plan is that one of us has to be alive until the kids grow up. 

[zibazinski]

Yes. My kids thought I was anal until my mom died and left a cluster you-know-what!

[Deleted]

all my passwords are all:  password123     so no issues

[swamp]

<<cleans out rob's bank account>>

[Cookies Galore]

Df's Dad was diagnosed with ALS last April and we're starting to see a steep decline. He has no income (only disability), no insurance, no savings, no retirement, no plan, a house full of junk, and owes the IRS $7,000. It's about to be shit storm.

[swamp]

Mar 5, 2013 13:12:18 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Df's Dad was diagnosed with ALS last April and we're starting to see a steep decline. He has no income (only disability), no insurance, no savings, no retirement, no plan, a house full of junk, and owes the IRS $7,000. It's about to be shit storm.

It's unfortunate, but when he passes away, it won't be a shit storm. No money, no estate, creditors are left hanging.  SEnd them a death certificate and tell them to pound salt.

In the meantime, sounds like he needs to sign up for Medicaid.  He'll get the basics.

[lynnerself]

Last time we flew to Europe we made sure and had all the wills updated and gave a list of accounts to the kids.
But I'm not sure they know where to find the passwords.

I'm not normally a nervous flyer, but I'm taking Babybird to Pennsylvania next week by myself and I'm totally freaked out about the idea of flying that far without backup.  This weekend, I somehow also managed to get myself into a tizzy worrying about the plane crashing (not something I have ever concerned myself with before).


Ironically, when I think about it, it's much more likely that DH and I would both die in some auto crash near home than on a long distance plane trip.
It's odd how these things trip our anxieties.

[Cookies Galore]

Mar 5, 2013 13:13:36 GMT -5 swamp said:

Mar 5, 2013 13:12:18 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Df's Dad was diagnosed with ALS last April and we're starting to see a steep decline. He has no income (only disability), no insurance, no savings, no retirement, no plan, a house full of junk, and owes the IRS $7,000. It's about to be shit storm.

It's unfortunate, but when he passes away, it won't be a shit storm. No money, no estate, creditors are left hanging.  SEnd them a death certificate and tell them to pound salt.

In the meantime, sounds like he needs to sign up for Medicaid.  He'll get the basics.

His death is going to be a relief, which is horrible to say. But getting there is going to suck! We can't do anything, so he needs to figure what home will take him. If he would stop spending what little money he has. Ugh. Whatever.
I hope he's applying for Medicaid again. He was rejected because his disability policy is too much. Or that's what he said. Double whatever.

I just hate seeing Df hurting.

[swamp]

IT's not a horrible thing to say.  My friend's dad died of ALS, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. 

I don't know how things work in PA, but in NY, if you need nursing home care, and say you make $3k a month in disability, the nursing home will accept you, and take $2925 a month for payment and medicaid will pay the rest of the tab. 

He may not qualify yet because he's not in a nursing home. 

[Deleted]

Mar 5, 2013 13:09:58 GMT -5 swamp said:

<<cleans out rob's bank account>>

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

first you break my heart after taking my innocense after the motley crue concert and now literaly taking everything; it's just too much    

[whoami]

We have wills, POA, health care directives and whatever else.  Passwords are on the computer in a file and in my drawer printed out.  There is also a copy of pertinent info with my will which is in my parent safe.  There is a list of bills on the computer as well.

I never worry about crashing.  My husband is a pilot, I'd be a basket case.  My kids have been flying all their lives both with us and alone and we never had any problems with them flying alone.  They were pros.  The 4 of us were on a plane about 10 years ago that lost an engine in flight and had to make an emergency landing.  Six months later, I was on an airplane that was having landing gear issues.  Both flights were met by fire trucks and lots of drama on the ground.  I still never worry about crashing.  

[Sum Dum Gai]

Planning to die just seems too much like wanting it to happen.  I don't want to tempt fate that way.

I haven't even filled out the new life insurance forms when I switched companies, so if I die Loop only get's like 1.5 times my salary or something.  No will.  No medical directives.  Nothing stating who gets the kids.  I'm planning to be around for another few decades so I don't have to worry about that stuff.  You hear that Karma, Destiny, or whatever shitty stripper name the universe's sense of humor is going by these days?  You got a problem with it?  Bring it on bitch.

[zibazinski]

[Firebird]

Planning to die just seems too much like wanting it to happen.  I don't want to tempt fate that way.

See, I feel the opposite.  I've planned so well, there's no way the plane will crash now!

(knocks on wood)

(However, I did include instructions for notifying YM in the event of my sudden death )

It's odd how these things trip our anxieties.

I've never been nervous to board a plane in my life.  I'm sure the reason I am nervous about this one has nothing at all to do with the fact that I watched Flightplan this weekend. 

Where in PA?

Your doorstop.  That's cool, right?  It's so much easier to stalk someone when you're in the same state. 

[dannylion]

My Mom had a cousin who had a daughter about my age.  Whenever she and her husband traveled by air they always took separate planes until their daughter graduated from college so there would be one parent left in the event of a plane crash.  They didn't travel often without their daughter, but when they did, they always flew separately until she was out on her own.  

[thyme4change]

Mar 5, 2013 14:30:01 GMT -5 dannylion said:

My Mom had a cousin who had a daughter about my age.  Whenever she and her husband traveled by air they always took separate planes until their daughter graduated from college so there would be one parent left in the event of a plane crash.  They didn't travel often without their daughter, but when they did, they always flew separately until she was out on her own.  

They should have taken separate cars to the movies, every time.  Far, far more likely that you will die in a car accident than in a commercial airline crash.  If everyone was as terrified of driving as they are of airplanes, the roads would be a lot safer.

Firebird - you are way more likely to have a screaming child and the drunk guy next to you will slap her than the plane going down.  Assholes are everywhere, but plane crashes are rare.

[Cookies Galore]

Mar 5, 2013 14:23:46 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Where in PA?

Your doorstop.  That's cool, right?  It's so much easier to stalk someone when you're in the same state. 

Awesome!

[Deleted]

How have you prepared for the worst case scenario?

Toilet paper......lots and lots of toilet paper!

[whoami]

Mar 5, 2013 14:30:01 GMT -5 dannylion said:

My Mom had a cousin who had a daughter about my age.  Whenever she and her husband traveled by air they always took separate planes until their daughter graduated from college so there would be one parent left in the event of a plane crash.  They didn't travel often without their daughter, but when they did, they always flew separately until she was out on her own.  

I've heard of people who do that and I think its silly.  Twice the chance of delays etc and almost no chance whatsoever of averting some disaster....but to each his own.

[Deleted]

I signed up for Roboform so DH will have an easy way to access all my logins/passwords.  He has it too.  We're in the process of consolidating our financial accounts so we both access to everything.  We have a trust, will, advance directive, etc.  And lots of life insurance.

It sounds a bit macabre but we have talked about what will happen if one of dies and how to arrange our finances to make it manageable for the other person, more for me because I'm a SAHM than for DH.  I have about a million worth of life insurance on myself and DH has a bit more - about 1.3 between work and a private policy.

Not to be mean but I don't understand not planning for your family, financially and practically, in case you are gone.  It's a very loving thing to do.  I think most of us picture getting hit by a bus but it's more likely they'll be some period of disability beforehand and it would be nice for there to be insurance to help pay off the bills.

[dannylion]

Mar 5, 2013 14:53:19 GMT -5 whoami said:

Mar 5, 2013 14:30:01 GMT -5 dannylion said:

My Mom had a cousin who had a daughter about my age.  Whenever she and her husband traveled by air they always took separate planes until their daughter graduated from college so there would be one parent left in the event of a plane crash.  They didn't travel often without their daughter, but when they did, they always flew separately until she was out on her own.  

I've heard of people who do that and I think its silly.  Twice the chance of delays etc and almost no chance whatsoever of averting some disaster....but to each his own.

Well, this was in the 1950s and 60s.  Things were different then.  In any event, they had plenty of money to do whatever they felt best.  Uncle Dave passed away several years ago, and Aunt Carol is very frail and has 24-hour care. So, think what you will about their choices; it's all pretty much OBE now. 

[Firebird]

Mar 5, 2013 14:50:27 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Mar 5, 2013 14:23:46 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Where in PA?

Your doorstop.  That's cool, right?  It's so much easier to stalk someone when you're in the same state. 

Awesome!

 

[Sum Dum Gai]

Preparing for airline crashes are easy.  You're 30,000 feet in the air traveling several hundred miles an hour.  If something happens all you have to do is kiss your ass goodbye.

[swamp]

Mar 5, 2013 15:59:56 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Preparing for airline crashes are easy.  You're 30,000 feet in the air traveling several hundred miles an hour.  If something happens all you have to do is kiss your ass goodbye.

I can't reach my ass in those cramped airline seats.