swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 1, 2013 11:18:37 GMT -5
Parenting without alcohol??!?! INCONCEIVABLE!!! don't worry. they use heroin, coke, crack, and oxys instead.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 1, 2013 11:31:37 GMT -5
Parenting without alcohol??!?! INCONCEIVABLE!!!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2013 11:33:06 GMT -5
Parenting without alcohol??!?! INCONCEIVABLE!!! don't worry. they use heroin, coke, crack, and oxys instead. Well, that's not funny.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 1, 2013 11:37:32 GMT -5
Not on teen mom! And that is what my life would look like if I had a baby at 16.[/span]
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 1, 2013 11:39:14 GMT -5
Not on teen mom! And that is what my life would look like if I had a baby at 16. [/span][/quote] Yes, MTV will toss money at you and everything will be so easy!!! I'm just cynical because yesterday was "removed drug addicted newborn baby from crackhead mom" day in family court.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 1, 2013 11:39:17 GMT -5
The pediatrician hasn't brought up "good touching/bad touching" with them ever<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> Our pedi and I have talked about it together a couple of times. He and I are of the same mindset as Lena, there is NO “good touch” if you don’t want to be touched. It came up when she was fighting him tooth/nail during an examination. He said he was fine with it because that is exactly how she should react if someone is touching her and she doesn’t want them to at this age. I feel the same way about old people at MIL’s church who want to touch her and MIL makes comments about her clinging to me. I told her I don’t care because she shouldn’t have to be pawed at by a bunch of strangers if she doesn’t want to be. I feel it sends a mixed message to tell kids no one has the right to touch you but then force them to hug a stranger at church just because it’s an old fart. I also feel that by respecting her it teaches her that I will always listen to her and be behind her 100%. Now of course as she gets older I’ll teach her manners but at age 2 how she behaves around strangers is EXACTLY how I want her to behave. I’m also fine with her behaving that way around adults she knows.
I’m fine with starting age appropriate sex ed in Kindergarten. You would not believe the shocked/horrified reactions I get when I use proper anatomical terms. My MIL can’t even handle the word “fart”. She’d have a stroke if she knew that Gwen was aware that DH has a penis and yes she knows it is called a “penis”. She shocked me the other day by knowing where babies come from (kinda). We were lying in bed together and she takes my hand, puts it on her abdomen and goes “baby”. WTF? I freaked out for a moment and then I remembered that several of the ladies that work at daycare have been pregnant recently. Observant kid. I said that’s right but you’re a little too young to be having a baby. Then proceeded to mess with DH by telling him Gwen just told me she’s pregnant. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. On one hand yes I believe it is a parent’s rights to educate your kid in these matters but at the same time considering some of the dumb shit I’ve heard come out of grown adults mouths, their kids are being done a real disservice and someone should straighten their heads out before it’s too late. </SPAN></FONT></P>
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 1, 2013 11:41:23 GMT -5
DD asked me how babies come out of a mommy's belly. I told her they come out the vagina. She was horrified and keeps saying she's never going to have a baby.
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goldensam
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Post by goldensam on Mar 1, 2013 11:41:36 GMT -5
When I was in second grade, my school brought in someone to talk to us about good touch/bad touch. This was the first time I had the knowledge and courage to speak up (afterward) and tell her that I was being molested by my former stepdad on the weekends when he had visitation (he had adopted me prior to the divorce). Until that moment, I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't know that it was safe to tell someone. I am forever thankful for that session.
In 4th or 5th grade, our school separated the boys and girls and discussed puberty. I know there was a lot of pushing of "abstinence only" and scare tactics used to reinforce that point.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2013 11:45:50 GMT -5
I am sorry that happened to you goldentx. But glad to hear you had the courage to tell.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 1, 2013 11:47:26 GMT -5
I don't think it's a good idea. There are several things I object to.
1. I think kindergarden through fourth grade is too young. I had sex ed in sixth grade, which seemed to be good timing. I'd say around 12, and definitely no earlier than 10 is appropriate.
2. I would have a serious problem with my kid learning about "sexual orientation" and "gender identity" from public school.
Personally, instead of getting them younger, I'd examine why the current 5th grade program is failing to teach kids about HIV and other STD's, and work with that.
To their credit, at least they let parents opt out and seem interested in communicating the cirriculum to parents, so they can make decisions on their children's sex education.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Mar 1, 2013 11:54:37 GMT -5
I guess I have to deal with this now because my son announced that he has seen a movie where people were "having sex." Well, the movie was Marley & Me. I'm not he is exactly sure what it all means, but the phrase "having sex" means that I can no longer hide from this.
How graphic do you get with an 8 year old?
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 1, 2013 11:57:24 GMT -5
I guess I can live with "inappropriate touch" lessons in kindergarden. If that's all it is.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2013 12:07:08 GMT -5
How do you teach someone about STD's without them knowing about the "S"?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 1, 2013 12:08:22 GMT -5
I'm not he is exactly sure what it all means, but the phrase "having sex" means that I can no longer hide from this.
How graphic do you get with an 8 year old?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> My mom used Barbie and Ken to illustrate what she was talking about. I don’t remember it getting super detailed like sharing positions or anything. All I can remember is wondering how Ken had sex when his penis was tattooed inside his underwear.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2013 12:11:53 GMT -5
My Mom was pregnant with my brother when I was in 5th grade. She bought us a "how babies are made" book to explain how it all happened.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Mar 1, 2013 12:16:23 GMT -5
I guess I can live with "inappropriate touch" lessons in kindergarden. If that's all it is. I'm pretty sure it is, I think the thread title is a bit misleading. I wouldn't really classify good touch/bad touch as "sex ed."
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goldensam
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Post by goldensam on Mar 1, 2013 12:37:31 GMT -5
Thanks beerwench. I wish I had known what to do sooner because it could have stopped almost two years of abuse, but I suppose it is what it is. And before anyone says my mother should have taught me that, I'm well aware of that, but we also have to keep in mind that not all parents do what they should.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Mar 1, 2013 12:43:43 GMT -5
I think many parents say things later than they should because they don't want to think about their child being sexually assaulted. It wouldn't surprise me that child predators use this fact to their advantage. (That elbow story was sad. ) I think it is good to start the bad touch/good touch in kindergarten as part of protecting kids from predators. I think sex is one of those things that it is good to teach a base knowledge of in school as some parents may never do so.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 1, 2013 12:44:46 GMT -5
Thanks beerwench. I wish I had known what to do sooner because it could have stopped almost two years of abuse, but I suppose it is what it is. And before anyone says my mother should have taught me that, I'm well aware of that, but we also have to keep in mind that not all parents do what they should. If anyone says your mother should have taught you that, they're an idiot. Back then, nobody talked about sexual abuse.
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ontrack
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Post by ontrack on Mar 1, 2013 12:48:45 GMT -5
I don't think it's a good idea. There are several things I object to.
1. I think kindergarden through fourth grade is too young. I had sex ed in sixth grade, which seemed to be good timing. I'd say around 12, and definitely no earlier than 10 is appropriate.
2. I would have a serious problem with my kid learning about "sexual orientation" and "gender identity" from public school.
Personally, instead of getting them younger, I'd examine why the current 5th grade program is failing to teach kids about HIV and other STD's, and work with that.
To their credit, at least they let parents opt out and seem interested in communicating the cirriculum to parents, so they can make decisions on their children's sex education. Why would you have a problem with a discussion about sexual orientation in school? It's a big source of bullying so I think it needs to be covered.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Mar 1, 2013 12:51:24 GMT -5
Just the girls, or the baby daddies too? Yes, the baby daddies got kicked out too. I know of one boy who got booted. It is a very small school (~40 per class) so if a girl is prego I think they have a pretty good idea who the daddy probably is.....
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Mar 1, 2013 12:55:16 GMT -5
My Mom was pregnant with my brother when I was in 5th grade. She bought us a "how babies are made" book to explain how it all happened. My youngest brother was born when I was in 3rd grade so I got that book also. I just remember thinking "I'm never having sex" After that talk I remember asking my mom how the girl across the street could get pregnant if she wasn't married.....that was the next talk...lol
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goldensam
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Post by goldensam on Mar 1, 2013 13:09:53 GMT -5
Swamp, I agree to a point. However, my mom was also molested by her stepfather so in my opinion, she should have had a different perspective. I do not hold her responsible in any way. As soon as I told that nice lady that day what was happening, my mom had in me in the hospital for examinations and pressed charges against him immediately.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 1, 2013 13:11:14 GMT -5
I'm sorry you had to go though that goldentx.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Mar 1, 2013 13:14:44 GMT -5
It sounds like a great idea to me. Although, like others said I am not sure I would classify good touch/bad touch as sex ed. But, it is definitely something that should be brought up early & some parents probably have a hard time teaching their kids these things.
I try to talk about important stuff like this, but who knows how much they hear. I have completely failed in teaching appropriate terms for body parts. Somewhere along the way DS got the idea that his penis is called a booty & I have never corrected him.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 1, 2013 13:25:12 GMT -5
Swamp, I agree to a point. However, my mom was also molested by her stepfather so in my opinion, she should have had a different perspective. I do not hold her responsible in any way. As soon as I told that nice lady that day what was happening, my mom had in me in the hospital for examinations and pressed charges against him immediately. Another poster mentioned this. Parents often don't think their kids are at risk when the parents themselves were victims because the victim often internalizes the assault and blames themselves. Your mom may have been of the "it was my fault" line of thinking.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Mar 1, 2013 15:02:17 GMT -5
And, this thread is yet another reminder of my parenting fails... I stumbled through a few discussions here and there throughout the kids' lives, but certainly didn't do as well as I'd hoped. Looking back now I really wish I would have just been more open and factual about it all. I think the fact that you want your kids to be kids for as long as possible plays a factor. Having to think about teaching them about "grown up" stuff means they're growing up! But, I certainly don't believe in parent's hiding their heads in the sand, either.
Last year my 6-year-old grandson asked us, "How do you get kids?". I was totally unprepared again! I took a breath to gather my thoughts and my husband pipes up, "You buy them at Wal-Mart!". Nooooo... I told him NO that's not where they come from, but told him to ask his Mom. I really didn't want to pass it off completely, but I wasn't prepared because I wasn't sure how much his Mom wants him to know yet! Sigh...
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 1, 2013 15:30:50 GMT -5
I think many parents say things later than they should because they don't want to think about their child being sexually assaulted. It wouldn't surprise me that child predators use this fact to their advantage. (That elbow story was sad. ) I think it is good to start the bad touch/good touch in kindergarten as part of protecting kids from predators. I think sex is one of those things that it is good to teach a base knowledge of in school as some parents may never do so. Well, I recall my parents taught about "good touch/bad touch" from a pretty early age. I knew by kindergraden that folks shouldn't touch me, and also things like not to go with strangers.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 1, 2013 15:36:43 GMT -5
"Why would you have a problem with a discussion about sexual orientation in school? It's a big source of bullying so I think it needs to be covered."
We had a lengthy discussion about this a few weeks ago on P&M. I don't want to open a can of worms.
Basically, I don't think discussions of sexual orientation are appropriate for elementary and junior high kids. I'd be fine with some discussion later, in high school.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2013 15:38:04 GMT -5
"Why would you have a problem with a discussion about sexual orientation in school? It's a big source of bullying so I think it needs to be covered."
We had a lengthy discussion about this a few weeks ago on P&M. I don't want to open a can of worms. Basically, I don't think discussions of sexual orientation are appropriate for elementary and junior high kids. I'd be fine with some discussion later, in high school. high school is WAAAAAAY too late. Kids experiment early.
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