Found out that I was almost loaned out by my wife.

[Deleted]

Here's the story. A lady brought her pets into see my wife today (although it was mostly to talk to my wife). Seems that her husband started using drugs (this guy is 50+ & had started abusing her. One day he walked around the house all day with a sledge hammer & was threatening to kill her with it. Well she divorced him but (I guess) that made matters worse. He beat her up so bad that she was in the hospital 3 days (& you can still see that she was beaten up). The courts are going to relocate her because they can't find her husband (who is in hiding) & he has a warrant out on him. They think that he is setting the stage to kill her & then claim that he was crazy at the time.
Anyway my wife pulled her off to the side & offered to loan me to her for however long she needs me. My wife knows my opinion of men that beat women. All I can say is that it's a sad day when a person has to live in fear because of someone like this. Oh & so far she has had an alarm system put in, all new locks, bars on the windows & doors, & a safe room put in. I would REALLY like to discuss his hitting his ex wife with him for a long time.

[The J]

If you want a helping hand, let me know.

[DebMD (banned)]

This is a sticky situation.
You could be putting yourself and family in harm's way.
Does this woman have family she can be near or stay with?
A support group will be able to give more advice.

[Deleted]

Does this woman have family she can be near or stay with?

I don't know but I doubt that they would want her to move close to family. She would be easy to find that way.

A support group will be able to give more advice.

A support group may come later. Right now they are just trying to keep her alive.



You could be putting yourself and family in harm's way.
Trust me, if I were to met with him, he wouldn't be hurting any more women any time soon.

[wvugurl26]

Scumbags like this disgust me. They are a waste of resources. And sadly its quite possible that the legal system will be unable to protect her. My brother and his friends are like you old tex, they'd be having a long chat with him about hitting women. They had a chat with a friend's boyfriend one night. He moved on quietly after that little fireside chat.
Restraining orders and warrants mean nothing to people like this.

[Apple]

oldtex--I'm sure you'd be ready and able if you ever had to stand up to him, but I hope it doesn't come to that and they find him soon. That has to be a terrible thing to go through. It's good to have friends like you and your wife.

[wvugurl26]

I just can't imagine needing a safe room in my own house. Hopefully there is a good ending for her but that type of fear is going to run her life long after I'd say.

[rovo]

Feb 8, 2011 21:38:37 GMT -5 The J said:

If you want a helping hand, let me know.

Now let me think about this. Let's see. A penguin in a pirates outfit?

I guess the plan is for the guy to die laughing.

j/k

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

My heart goes out to this woman. Thank god you're both there for support - she's going to need it. Trust me I know. If there is a Women's Emergency Shelter in your area, it would be wise for her (or you and your wife) to contact them and speak to one of their administrators. She may need a safe haven to get to fast if the problem escalates and it becomes necessary, and they will be able to house her and keep her safe for as long as it takes (even getting her relocated if necessary), and also help her with any legal issues and working with law enforcement until this scumbag is dealt with.

[blackcard]

Had a cousin who went through this. First and foremaost she needs to go into hiding. Deep deep hiding. Quit her job, and communicate with family and friends only with a new pre-paid disposable cell number. Then get a name change. Then a visual makeover. If she is a long haired blonde she needs to become a short haired brunette. Have all mail sent to a PO box. Lastly she needs to move herself out of state and let nobody know where she is living.
May not be ideal, but at least she will remain alive and maybe start a new life.
Probably a few other things that she could do to become invisible as the person she used to be.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Oldtex, I believe that I share your view that men who beat women are several layers lower than worm shit. In the Texas way, gift her with a .45 with training lessons (if she needs them) and a shovel.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

You're getting a karma, mdw.

[Deleted]

oldtex--I'm sure you'd be ready and able if you ever had to stand up to him
Apple, I'd stand up to a man. Someone that beats a woman so bad that they are in a hospital for 3 days isn't a man & deserves nothing. This sucker wouldn't see me coming & would spend more than 3 days in ICU.

Understand that my ex used to TRY to see how far she could push me. She would actually follow me from room to room when she would get me mad just to see if I would go over the edge (& it doesn't take that much for me cause I have a temper). Anyway, not once did I touch her (but I did put my fist in a few walls & doors) & I figure that someone like me with a fiery temper can not hit a woman then every male can do the same. There is no excuse for that & they need their butt kicked at the very least. No talks, no restraining orders, no games, just an old fashion beat the hell out of them to the point where even if they wanted to hurt another women they can't.
She is a friend of my wife's & I haven't even met her. My wife knows that on something like this I would be glad to take a hand in it.

[Apple]

No talks, no restraining orders, no games, just an old fashion beat the hell out of them to the point where even if they wanted to hurt another women they can't.

The only thing lower than this kind of "person" is one that will abuse children. All pieces of shit though and I have no use for any of them.

[chiver78]

Feb 9, 2011 0:33:08 GMT -5 @oldtex said:

She is a friend of my wife's & I haven't even met her. My wife knows that on something like this I would be glad to take a hand in it.

I wish more women who find themselves unlucky enough to be in abusive situations would have guardian angels such as you and your wife. wow. best of luck with all of this, for all of you.

[deziloooooo]

Feb 8, 2011 21:37:08 GMT -5 @oldtex said:

Here's the story. A lady brought her pets into see my wife today (although it was mostly to talk to my wife). Seems that her husband started using drugs (this guy is 50+ & had started abusing her. One day he walked around the house all day with a sledge hammer & was threatening to kill her with it. Well she divorced him but (I guess) that made matters worse. He beat her up so bad that she was in the hospital 3 days (& you can still see that she was beaten up). The courts are going to relocate her because they can't find her husband (who is in hiding) & he has a warrant out on him. They think that he is setting the stage to kill her & then claim that he was crazy at the time.
Anyway my wife pulled her off to the side & offered to loan me to her for however long she needs me. My wife knows my opinion of men that beat women. All I can say is that it's a sad day when a person has to live in fear because of someone like this. Oh & so far she has had an alarm system put in, all new locks, bars on the windows & doors, & a safe room put in. I would REALLY like to discuss his hitting his ex wife with him for a long time.

If the police are worried enough to move her, possibly if there is any chance he would come for her, she needs personal protection. Possible go with her and help her purchase it and then take her to a range for instruction, possible she would be eligible to get a carry license too and have her understand , legally, when its proper to use it.
It sounds like her life is in danger and yours could be too if with her.

[Deleted]

Be careful tex. You aren't dealing with a stable human being and he seems to be escalating. These are the kind of people that think it would be better if they were both dead than him not control her. It is hard to scare someone that nuts. If he survives your chat watch your back.

[NancysSummerSip]

This sucker wouldn't see me coming & would spend more than 3 days in ICU.

More like the rest of his life DDU (Deep Down Underground).

And if I were on your jury, you'd be acquitted, and given a medal, my friend.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Possible go with her and help her purchase it and then take her to a range for instruction, possible she would be eligible to get a carry license too and have her understand , legally, when its proper to use it.

Throwing a weapon into an already volatile situation is the worst thing to do. Too many things could go wrong and it would be a disaster just waiting to happen.

Having a security system installed (preferably one with security cameras scanning the perimeter) is a good idea. Many of these systems also come with a remote 'panic button' that a person can wear to alert the proper authorities within seconds if the perp shows up.

[jennml]

This is such a sad and terrifying situation. The worst part is the fear. Not knowing when psycho is going to decide to do something. Everywhere you go you're looking over your shoulder.

Personally, I agree that she should get protection, at least for when she's at home. We all have the right to protect ourselves and our property. She should exercise that right intelligently. The NRA offers special women's self-defense courses. In general, I have no problem with gun ownership as long as it's done legally and the person is trained in their use and safety.

It a grave injustice that her life is the one being turned upside down, that she's the one hiding and having to accomodate this psycho's whims. Orders of Protection aren't even worth the paper they're written on most of the time.

[kent]

Tex, this guy is a certifiable screwball and she needs to get out of Dodge asap. Like you (and a few others), I'd have no problem addressing his conduct with a .45, but the reality of it all effectively precludes doing so given you'd never know for sure when he'd make his move.

He knows where she lives (and works?) so he could strike at any time so no amount of electronic security will protect her. If he's hiding out, it's all the more reason she needs to go because this guy is absolutely serious about doing her in.

[swamp]

Feb 9, 2011 0:33:08 GMT -5 @oldtex said:

oldtex--I'm sure you'd be ready and able if you ever had to stand up to him
Apple, I'd stand up to a man. Someone that beats a woman so bad that they are in a hospital for 3 days isn't a man & deserves nothing. This sucker wouldn't see me coming & would spend more than 3 days in ICU.

Understand that my ex used to TRY to see how far she could push me. She would actually follow me from room to room when she would get me mad just to see if I would go over the edge (& it doesn't take that much for me cause I have a temper). Anyway, not once did I touch her (but I did put my fist in a few walls & doors) & I figure that someone like me with a fiery temper can not hit a woman then every male can do the same. There is no excuse for that & they need their butt kicked at the very least. No talks, no restraining orders, no games, just an old fashion beat the hell out of them to the point where even if they wanted to hurt another women they can't.
She is a friend of my wife's & I haven't even met her. My wife knows that on something like this I would be glad to take a hand in it.

Tex, this guy's hitting isn't about temper, it's about control. It's how he controls her. She left, he lost control, he was going to show her who is the boss and teach her a lesson she wouldn't forget.

[deziloooooo]

Feb 9, 2011 9:43:15 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

Possible go with her and help her purchase it and then take her to a range for instruction, possible she would be eligible to get a carry license too and have her understand , legally, when its proper to use it.

Throwing a weapon into an already volatile situation is the worst thing to do. Too many things could go wrong and it would be a disaster just waiting to happen.

Having a security system installed (preferably one with security cameras scanning the perimeter) is a good idea. Many of these systems also come with a remote 'panic button' that a person can wear to alert the proper authorities within seconds if the perp shows up.

I agree and am not one to suggest it easily..however, from what I read, if the police are concerned enough to get her moved to another location, until they find the person, it is a very , very seriouse situation, especially if he was threatening her with a axe..beating her bad enough to warrent a three day hospotal stay, when hospitals are trying to get one out ASAP..

It must have been a horrible beating...possible the woman wants no part of it...weapon, but it is a option to be considered, not dismissed out of hand.
All we can do here is suggest options by the facts presented. Here , to me the fact presented, drastic actions might have to be considered.

[Deleted]

I "assume" because she retired from the military, that she knows how to shoot. My guess is that like most women, she will hesitate (women tend to not be aggressive in a situation like this where they "loved" the person). Me, I'd talk to him in between my 2nd & 3rd reload ( ). Anyway, so far no word from her. She has my wife's number & I assume that she will give a call if she is worried.

[kent]

"The courts are going to relocate her because they can't find her husband (who is in hiding) & he has a warrant out on him. They think that he is setting the stage to kill her & then claim that he was crazy at the time."

Exactly. He will claim he was in a drug-induced rage when he killed her and didn't know what he was doing. The fact that they want to relocate her speaks volume's about how serious this situation is so you need to watch your back as well if you decide to become more involved.
I'd bet big money that this guy already has a rap sheet involving violence.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Edit to my previous post: She should also always carry a cell-phone (in case her lines get cut) and also own a few pocket sized pepper-spray containers so she can keep one on her person and in her vehicle at all times. If nothing else, it'll stop him in his tracks if he gets too close and it's sprayed into his face. It'll buy enough time to call 9-1-1.

[kent]

Feb 9, 2011 12:08:57 GMT -5 @oldtex said:

I "assume" because she retired from the military, that she knows how to shoot. My guess is that like most women, she will hesitate (women tend to not be aggressive in a situation like this where they "loved" the person). Me, I'd talk to him in between my 2nd & 3rd reload ( ). Anyway, so far no word from her. She has my wife's number & I assume that she will give a call if she is worried.

I wouldn't "assume" anything regarding her abilities with a firearm just because she was in the military. If she is qualified, she'd probably hesitate for the reason you stated. Moreover, if she is qualified, this puke knows it and will ambush her rather than confront her directly.

[kent]

Feb 9, 2011 12:15:40 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

Edit to my previous post: She should also always carry a cell-phone (in case her lines get cut) and also own a few pocket sized pepper-spray containers so she can keep one on her person and in her vehicle at all times. If nothing else, it'll stop him in his tracks if he gets too close and it's sprayed into his face. It'll buy enough time to call 9-1-1.

A cell phone and pepper spray would probably not be sufficient to defuse the situation in a timely manner. She'd be better off with a tazer but even that wouldn't be enough if he ambushes her from behind.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

That's probably true, Kent - but it's better to be prepared and never have to use them than to be without. You can never have too many backup plans.

[kent]

Feb 9, 2011 12:49:12 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

That's probably true, Kent - but it's better to be prepared and never have to use them than to be without. You can never have too many backup plans.

Scottish. No argument from me on that. My concern is that the creep won't engage face-to-face so she won't stand a chance.