thanks mom for the self-help book

[flopsy]

what is your reaction when someone gives you a self-help book? what does this say about you or them?

this book has been conveniently placed the past few times i've gone to my mom's but today she pointed out that she has two copies and that the second one is for me. she didn't get all preachy as she had somewhere else to be so i'm not sure what the book is about or what i need help with. i'm not sure whether i should bother reading it.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Obviously, your mother thinks you need some kind of help. Whether you actually do or not is debatable, such things are often just a matter of perspective.

[thyme4change]

Which book is it? Does it work on something specific or just general self-help?

Have you considered giving her a book about dieting or plastic surgery? I mean, it won't really help the situation - just a mean way to take revenge.

[Peace Of Mind]

Flopsy, forgive me while I . I've never been given one, but sometimes it says more about the giver than the receiver. Could it be so you can better understand her? Are you two a lot a like and she's trying to be helpful so you have an easier time than she did? And last, but not least, is your mom a loving person and trying to gently give you a clue?

[flopsy]

it's called "5 conversations you must have with your daughter". BF cracked open the book and the first thing he saw was "good girls are called sluts, bad girls are called sluts. church girls are called sluts." what a positive note in what looks to be a religious based book. i don't always see eye-to-eye with her and religious i am not and G-d help me i'm going to burn for that : ( guess i'll just have to suck it up

[thyme4change]

I would read every word. I would highlight passages that I disagree with. I would find alternative sources that have differing opions and I would invite her to lunch so we could discuss the book. As her what she thought was most important and why, and then tell her your opinion in a professional way. If you show her that you can out-think these trite pieces of crap, she won't be likely to repeat this type of gift.

Plus, you might learn something.

[Peace Of Mind]

Feb 8, 2011 18:14:54 GMT -5 flopsy said:

it's called "5 conversations you must have with your daughter". BF cracked open the book and the first thing he saw was "good girls are called sluts, bad girls are called sluts. church girls are called sluts." what a positive note in what looks to be a religious based book. i don't always see eye-to-eye with her and religious i am not and G-d help me i'm going to burn for that : ( guess i'll just have to suck it up

Do you and your BF live together by chance?

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Just off the cuff, it sounds to me like your mom disapproves of your relationship with your BF.

[flopsy]

we did recently move in together and while i am happy she likes to tell me that i'm really miserable or will be soon. she doesn't approve of relationships outside of marriage and the people she likes make me cringe. i love my mother

[Opti]

Flopsy, I noticed in the reviews of the book on Amazon that there was emphasis on teaching your daughter to wait for the right man. My guess in Mad dawg is correct and she's giving you the book instead of having the conversation with you again.

[Peace Of Mind]

DH and I lived together for 5 years before we married. All total we've been together for almost 24 years. I used to work at a place that was religious and one of my co-workers would tell me I'm going to hell. LMAO!! The irony was SHE got married for the 2nd or 3rd time to a guy that bill collectors were after. They then went after her and they divorced in 3 months. Her first husband beat her. Yeah, I'll take her relationship advice - in hell! And don't even get me started on my mom and her dysfunctional relationships and advice.

I hope you two find true happiness together that out-lasts the naysayers.

[flopsy]

thank you POM

btw holeeey crap, -42,426 karma? i'll send some your way : )

[Peace Of Mind]

LOL! Thank you. The J is punking me.

<<exalts Flopsy for having to deal with this>>

[NoNamePerson]

My mother used to cut out articles and mail them to me. Like I was going to take advice from someone who didn't raise me and I hardly knew

[Deleted]

My reaction to receiving a self help book would be different depending on who it came from. My friend would be trying to help me. My mother would be trying to control me.

[thyme4change]

Sell it. And then thank your mom for the extra income.

[swamp]

Feb 8, 2011 18:29:13 GMT -5 flopsy said:

she doesn't approve of relationships outside of marriage and the people she likes make me cringe. i love my mother

Um, how are you supposed to get married without having a relationship first?

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I think she meant her mother doesn't approve of the co-habitation relationship with B/F outside of marriage, Swamp. If it were my mom, I'd tell her I appreciate her concern, but since I'm an adult, it's really out of her hands - and then suggest she donate the book to her church rummage sale.

[Peace Of Mind]

I would try to exchange her book for one on passive aggressive behavior and give it to her.

ETA: Who am I kidding? I would just tell her to concentrate on her own train wreck of a life and butt out of mine. But I'm sure Flopsy's mom isn't as bad as mine.

[flopsy]

doesn't approve of cohabitation or long term relationships where cohabitation isn't involved. apparently she knows with in the first few minutes of meeting someone whether or not they are marriageable material. i guess that means she can guestimate who is willing to propose in the next six months.

either the book is going to one of my younger sisters or to my older married sister, she needs to know all about this when she has daughters right?

[Genuine GA Peach]

Maybe you should buy mom a copy of The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood

[Deleted]

Flopsy, read the book & be ready to call out quotes to mom whenever she makes a mistake.

My ex went thru a very religious stage (for about 5 months) & tried to "convert" me. She even invited a group from church to talk to me about (I guess) my evil ways. She didn't know (& never asked) that my problem wasn't with God but with the two faced people that I had met in church. She also didn't know (but found out that I had read the bible cover to cover about 8 or 9 times & was able to quote it. (no big deal, I'm a speed reader & had been in several bible study groups when I was a kid). The group left very happy (they found another follower of God out there that they didn't know about) but my ex sure was unhappy. BTW she tried to join in persuading me but the 2nd time I corrected her on a quotation from the bible & they backed me up she got "pissed".

So when someone tries to "convert" you to their way of thinking if you can turn it around on them it works just like hitting a puppy on the nose with a rolled up newspaper (except it's a lot more fun & you don't feel guilty afterward).

[Loopdilou]

LOL! So.. this one year my mom gave my husband a book on parenting by Dr. Phil.

I think he got the Lady & The Tramp Ornament from her the same year.

What's hilarious is that my mother adores him and is one of the least judgmental people I know, but she's terrible at hiding her subconscious so I'm pretty sure she actually hates him and thinks hes a horrible father, but she's really, really good at bottling it up.

[Deleted]

My Father got me "Prince Charming Isn't Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money" but instead of reading it I went to MSN Money. And the rest is history.

[Miss Tequila]

Feb 8, 2011 18:14:54 GMT -5 flopsy said:

it's called "5 conversations you must have with your daughter". BF cracked open the book and the first thing he saw was "good girls are called sluts, bad girls are called sluts. church girls are called sluts." what a positive note in what looks to be a religious based book. i don't always see eye-to-eye with her and religious i am not and G-d help me i'm going to burn for that : ( guess i'll just have to suck it up

Translation: Mom thinks you're a slut

Totally kidding...I would just toss the book and not give it a second thought.

[Chocolate Lover]

Mom gives me every child rearing book and newspaper article on the same as she can. Yeah, it's really appreciated Mom, thanks. Into the trash, donation box or wherever it goes.

She really is trying to be helpful but seems to forget that it can be seen as a big "you suck at parenting". If I had juvenile delinquints on my hands I'd understand, but seriously, the biggest problem is one kid wants to stay after school to practice his horn.

[flopsy]

Feb 9, 2011 13:24:49 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Translation: Mom thinks you're a slut

hahaha. i'm sure she's trying to be helpful. as long as this isn't what i get every time i bring over a nice bottle of wine and agree to watch the youngest while the other adults are out of town.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

<<the biggest problem is one kid wants to stay after school to practice his horn.>>


Whooo boy, my dirty little mind could take that and run.....

[Chocolate Lover]

Feb 9, 2011 14:45:20 GMT -5 Mad Dawg Wiccan said:

<<the biggest problem is one kid wants to stay after school to practice his horn.>>


Whooo boy, my dirty little mind could take that and run.....

I'm sure you could, at least I didn't use the word "blow" in any way.

[Jake 48]

flopsy, I think it is your moms way of talking about an uncomfortable subject for her, Take the book, tell her you will try to read it, what you do with it after that is your perogitive
.By the way " good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere"