Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 9, 2011 13:49:19 GMT -5
Another thing that comes to mind is that sports are bloody expensive these days. I think as a parent, part of the equation would be "If you don't put in the proper amount of effort to learn discipline, I'm not picking up the tab for your sporting hobby anymore."
That wouldn't really work with young children, but tweens and teens who really wanted to play their sport would probably be a little more motivated to step up if Mom and Dad threatened to stop paying.
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Feb 9, 2011 14:35:28 GMT -5
I don't think kids should be pushed unless it's down the stairs to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. ;D What? Suuuuure. When Family Guy does it, it's funny.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 9, 2011 16:56:37 GMT -5
She can handle it, Dark. Encourage open and honest communication. Tell her to talk to you if it's too much for her, and you guys can talk about scaling back to a more manageable level. Or, conversely, you could start at a couple hours a week and build from there.
10 is a great age to start learning discipline. You already told her this would take hard work. If she's into it, I think you should go for it. You seem self-aware enough to know the difference between your goals for her versus her goals for her. That's what will ultimately keep you from pushing "too hard," whatever that line might be for her.
Again, I don't have kids but this is coming from a girl who had a very big believer in discipline from an early age for a dad. I was better for it, and your kiddos will be too.
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beags
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I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research.
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Post by beags on Feb 9, 2011 17:41:36 GMT -5
I don't push my kids into sports. My son has played soccer, baseball, football and wrestled. He currently has only stuck with wrestling. He hated soccer, baseball was just more of a hobby --something to do in the summer. Football he was great at. He was on the starting line up both offense and defense, then he quit one week before the season started. Never could understand why, other than he said he was bored. It made sense to me as my son loves a challenge, but once it's met, he gets bored. The kids on the team were talented players, and shut out everyone in our division (nobody scored against them). The scores were like 40 something to 0. The coach would put in the third string and it didn't seem to matter. Well my son gets bored when that happens. I don't know why but he finds it embarrassing to pummel over everyone like that. So he quit. Like I said no challenge.
This year he's a freshman in high school, and made the Varsity team for wrestling. He's taking a beating so far, but he is enjoying it. He figured out that along with everything else he is doing, he needs to hit the weight room more if he is going to stay in wrestling. That's him pushing himself, not me.
What I also found out is the kids he grew up with who had parents pushing them in sports, aren't that great of athletes in high school. Why? the sport isn't fun because they can't please mom and/or dad no matter what they do.
It's one thing to support your kid. do some batting practice in the backyard or showing them how to pitch if that's what they want to do. Or sign them up for some sport camp if that's what they want. It's quite another thing to push them and force them into something they aren't ready for. Some parents are brutal out there. I've seen parents call their children losers because they lost a match. They'll just walk away and not even care how the kid gets home. Just abandon them because they made a mistake or lost. That's not right.
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beags
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I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research.
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Post by beags on Feb 9, 2011 17:51:19 GMT -5
Dark, if she wants to do some practice there's nothing wrong with starting with the basic skills with her. Play catch in the backyard or at the ball field. If she's doing something wrong, gently correct her so she does it right. They sell this skills reaction ball. It works great in the sense that you bounce it and you never know what direction it's going to go in, so you have to adjust and be ready for it. I don't know if this place will allow a link, but I'll try it so you can see what I'm talking about. My son loved playing with it, and his catching skills were better. www.dickssportinggoods.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2467332&cp=2367438.2367820.3940716.3940721They can be found almost everywhere that sells baseball stuff. I've tried every training thing out there for batting practice, the only thing I found that helped was hitting the batting cages. I couldn't pitch to my son to save my life. lol I'm sure whatever you do will be fine. You seem to have the right attitude about it. I see you more as supporting her wants and needs than being pushy.
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Feb 9, 2011 17:54:35 GMT -5
Beags, is that a picture of Axel?
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beags
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I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research.
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Post by beags on Feb 9, 2011 17:59:37 GMT -5
I like the practice sessions Dark. My son and I use to practice on off days also. Sometimes we would stay out there for an hour, sometimes he wanted longer, sometimes shorter. I always let that up to him. On the weekends he would practice with my husband, because like I said I couldn't pitch to him to save my life. I also have bad depth perception and couldn't catch. That and being ball shy didn't help. I don't know why he didn't choose basketball, I could have helped him there. lol
My other child is huge into the performing arts. We've supported her there as well. Both kids are great musically at what they do. But they both work at it. My daughter takes voice lessons and has since age 13 (she wanted them). My son started with drum lessons in second grade by his 6th grade year his instructor said he was past the point where he could teach him anymore. At age 12 he was in the recording studio with some local bands laying some drum tracks for them. (amature bands) In sixth grade he was brought up to the high school's elite band (their jazz band) as a drummer. His 7th grade year was the lead drummer for the band. My daughter has sung at many weddings, sports events, churches, etc and been in many musicals. (none of them professional like Broadway though) She's going to college for musical theater and has them trying to recruit her. And well you already know the sports story on the kids.
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beags
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I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high functioning sociopath, do your research.
Joined: Nov 29, 2012 22:24:40 GMT -5
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Post by beags on Feb 9, 2011 18:04:21 GMT -5
Dawg, no it isn't. Moonbeam found that for me. It does look a lot like him though. I don't know how to post pictures here or I would post one of Axel. The white stripe going up the middle of the head is thinner on Axel. He has a full white snout and then it gets thinner as it hits the forehead. At the middle of the top of his head, the stripe ends with a diamond shape. And the rest of his color is more brown with a little less black. In the brown sections is some black brindling (very thin stripes with no order to them).
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Feb 9, 2011 18:17:48 GMT -5
Ok first off she's 10 so no matter how "into it" she is, there's always going to be something that sounds more fun than training. I think the right thing to do is to stop looking at it as "getting better is 10 hours per week". She's going to get at least somewhat better with any extra time per week. Sit down with her, she's old enough to be able to say "this is the area I want to get better at". Set up a plan, plot out times to work on that plan, and try it out for 2 weeks. If after 2 weeks she thinks it stinks and hates life, let her stop and work on another plan. You can give her some prodding in those 2 weeks to keep at it and work hard knowing that if it gets to be too much for her you haven't locked yourself into a season of feeling like you're either overbearing or failing at getting better.
ETA: For example, very few children have the personal discipline to want to keep working out, specifically running since you said she wants to get better at that, once they get tired. It's going to take some pushing to get her to work at running to the point that there's significant improvement. Left upto her in the moment she's probably going to choose to stop before the optimal training time. The time to "push" is during the workout, you're pushing her to achieve what you've decided prior to the workout is the goal. One key would be to teach her the difference between "i hurt" and "i'm injured/ill".
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 9, 2011 20:14:20 GMT -5
There was an interesting article in Time recently on "Tiger Moms". www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2043313,00.html Like many things, striking a balance is what's important I think. TD2K-- THANK YOU so much for posting this link. I ended up buying the book which I am now reading, and it is FASCINATING. I love it, and highly recommend it. It's funny too-- that doesn't really come across in the article, but it is.
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