Shoot, need help with office dilemma

[Sam_2.0]

One of my co-workers is a Jehovah's Witness. She does not celebrate holidays at all.

So I got some holiday things for the girls on my team as Christmas presents and I didn't get one for her yet. I thought I would do something little for her after the holidays so that its not associated with them at all, but it would be something similar to what I did for the other people. Kind of a way to show my appreciation for her while respecting her beliefs about holidays, if that makes sense.

A couple other people have also brought in little gifts for the team but its been mixed as to whether or not they get this lady presents. Now I feel bad for not getting her one right now!

There's really no good way to go about this one, is there? Either I give her something for the holiday when I know accepting it is against her beliefs, or I am the jerk that doesn't give her something when everyone else does.

[Deleted]

One of DH's team members is a JW & he gives him a gift at the same time as his other team members, but not wrapped and no card attached. He tells him it's a thank you for all of his hard work all year.

[swamp]

When i was public defender, one of my employees was jewish and another was Hindu. I gave them christmas presents anyway. It's the spirit of the season, not the name of the day.

[Deleted]

Dec 21, 2012 9:56:08 GMT -5 swamp said:

When i was public defender, one of my employees was jewish and another was Hindu. I gave them christmas presents anyway. It's the spirit of the season, not the name of the day.

but there is no "season" for JWs. I'd just give her an unwrapped gift like BW's DH did.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Yup, don't wrap it in festive paper and just call it an "end-of-the-year" gift. No holiday sentiment attached.

[Deleted]

Dec 21, 2012 9:58:35 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Yup, don't wrap it in festive paper and just call it an "end-of-the-year" gift. No holiday sentiment attached.

Yup.

You can give her a non-Christmas card that says:


"Your present to me can be to stop your people from knocking on my door."

[Sam_2.0]

Maybe DD and I will come up to the office next week to give her the present, unwrapped.

[InsertCoolName]

Most of the JW I've worked with, still do the Christmas thing because they don't want their kids to picked or whatever at school.

My oldest son's step-mom and dad are JW. I think they just say that because they are too cheap to get the kids anything. They don't even do anything for the kids' b-days. But you can bet they will do stuff/buy stuff for their b-day.

[thyme4change]

I would say it was "an end of year thank you" - To show your respect you can either not wrap it, or wrap it in plain white tissue paper. Put a plain card (or one with dog on the front, but no message, or whatever) that says you appreciate the hard work, and even call out specifics - great attitude, attention to detail, whatever. I've always appreciated a little hand written note from my boss that shows they really do appreciate the work - I never expect one, and have only gotten a few in my career. But I did try to write one to each of my employees. I would have been lost without them.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Tell them it's an End Of the World gift. We only have like an hour left anyway.

[sheilaincali]

A good friend of mine is a JW. On her birthday I always post something on her wall like "wishing you a day of peace and happiness" or something neutral like that. She appreciates that I recognize that she doesn't celebrate her birthday.
I would give the person a gift- if you wrap it wrap it in just a plain colored or floral patterned paper. Tell her you appreciate her for all of her help during the year. Or tell her it's to thank her for her friendship or whatever.

My friend's daughter is 13 and pretty go with the flow about the whole "no holidays thing" but her 4 year old son is not amused. At Halloween he was rather insistent that he get a costume and was quite vocal when she refused. Now he has been a terror all month complaining that they don't have a Christmas Tree or lights on their house like everyone else. He hasn't focused on the presents but he is pissed they don't have a tree or lights.
She is married to a co-worker/friend of mine who was raised Catholic. His mom gives the kids presents at Christmas but she wraps them in plain colored paper and gives them to them earlier in the month. She basically told my friend "I respect that your beliefs differ from mine but I can't buy presents for my other grandkids and ignore these two"

[Tiny]

We keep alot of the 'religiousness' out of the Holiday at work. There is some gift giving in the office - but's it's couched as a Thank You versus a 'christmas gift'.
I'm assuming JW can accept gifts? Especially if they are as a "Thank You" or a "You are appreciated" gift?

[sheilaincali]

Tiny Speck- The JW's I know have accepted gifts. I've been to Bridal Showers, Bachlorette Parties, Weddings and House Warming parties and they have had presents at every single one of them. I figure if she didn't want a gift for the bridal shower/wedding she wouldn't have done a gift registeries at half a dozen stores.

[Sam_2.0]

thejehovahswitnesses.org/can-jehovahs-witnesses-accept-gifts.php

Here's what I found. Looks like sticking to my original plan to give her the gift after the holiday is over would be fine. I won't wrap it but will include a generic themed thank-you note with it.

[p8nt]

Dec 21, 2012 10:51:50 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

Tiny Speck- The JW's I know have accepted gifts. I've been to Bridal Showers, Bachlorette Parties, Weddings and House Warming parties and they have had presents at every single one of them. I figure if she didn't want a gift for the bridal shower/wedding she wouldn't have done a gift registeries at half a dozen stores.

For some reason they celebrate weddings, anniversarys, etc.

My mom's a JW and I do not buy her anything, ever. She used to attend our family Christmas gathering, eat a meal, participate in our Christmas cookie contest, then do nothing else the entire year. I got quite tired of it because to me, you can't pick and choose what part you're going to do and not going to do. My opinion is that she picked that religion and wants to subscribe to its principles, so you can't pick and choose.

[cronewitch]

Our bonus isn't called a Christmas bonus as far as I can see, I need to reread the note but we gave them out today and had a catered lunch, Monday and Tuesday are paid holidays by union contract.

I have never seen anyone turn down a Christmas Bonus even if they don't celebrate the occasion. We tried giving hams before and had to get some turkeys to give people who won't eat ham. They still accept a gift of food and paid days off or checks. When I worked for and with Jewish people we asked if we could decorate the office and one women got a Christmas stocking who had never had one, she loved it. I made each person a gift for a December holiday, I gave her a Hanukkah gift but she would really have wanted a Christmas gift. People should all just get along accept gifts in the spirit given. Our bosses were Jewish but gave us all the holidays off even if they didn't celebrate them and gave us Christmas bonuses and gifts.

JW in our family used to accept gifts just not give any and be rude to people who celebrated but people felt sorry for the children.

[Sum Dum Gai]

For some reason they celebrate weddings, anniversarys, etc.

Those are different. You're celebrating a commitment or an achievement. Being born isn't an achievement. Millions of people do it every year. Hitler did it. It's not your birth that matters, it's what you do with your life. That's why they celebrate Jesus' death, but they don't celebrate his birth. Well, that and they dispute that he was actually born anywhere near the winter solstice, and that's something the church made up so they could align their religious holidays with already existing pagan holidays and traditions to make it easier to convert the heathens. It's mostly the celebrating achievements thing though.

[Deleted]

I am not a Christian but i do not see any harm in getting people christmas gifts, telling them merry christmas, whatever. I dont know why people get so offended. Of course JWs are on a totally different playing field so i guess everything is offensive to them.

[Deleted]

How is someone's death a commitment or achievement? I dont see it as any different than birth unless you commit suicide then you have achieved something.

[Plain Old Petunia]

Dec 21, 2012 9:59:35 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

"Your present to me can be to stop your people from knocking on my door."

Dude, the next time they come to your door, immediately state "We have been dis-fellowshipped." Hang your head and look ashamed. If your wife is present, she should shed a tear. They will hot foot it away from your house. Your house will be marked on their little map. They will avoid your house like the plague.

Works like a charm.

[violagirl]

As a JW, I say if you feel like giving someone a gift - give them a gift. My piano students used to always give me little gifts at Christmas time, I appreciated the gesture. I couldn't do much with Christmas tree ornaments, but it's the thought that counts. It is not a big deal also if you decide NOT to give a present. I don't know anyone who is "offended" by a gift. It didn't matter to me if it was wrapped, unwrapped, in christmas tree paper or whatever - do what is in your heart.

Sometimes you might have different responses from different people because of their life experience. As someone who has never celebrated the holidays, I'm not squeamish if other people chose to celebrate. But someone who USED to celebrate the holidays and now doesn't might be more ... black and white about it? I'm not sure how to explain it, a lot of our beliefs are very conscience driven, so some people may be waaay on one side and other people may be on the other.

As for death being an achievement, hmm...well, not so much an achievement as, by the time you die you have had time to establish what sort of person you are and have a reputation before God and people. At birth, you only have potential.

[kgb18]

As for death being an achievement, hmm...well, not so much an achievement as, by the time you die you have had time to establish what sort of person you are and have a reputation before God and people. At birth, you only have potential.

I think that's kind of true for all of us, regardless of our religious affiliations.