❤ mollymouser ❤
Senior Associate
Sarcasm is my Superpower
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:09:58 GMT -5
Posts: 12,858
Today's Mood: Gen X ... so I'm sarcastic and annoyed
Location: Central California
Favorite Drink: Diet Mountain Dew
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Dec 14, 2012 16:20:40 GMT -5
Our 10-year anniversary is in April ~ first marriage for both of us.
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MN-Investor
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:22:44 GMT -5
Posts: 1,940
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Post by MN-Investor on Dec 15, 2012 12:34:02 GMT -5
Happily married to DH for 36+ years, first for both of us.
I have many aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. No one from my parents' generation were divorced, and, even with my dozens of cousins, I can count the divorces on one hand. I don't know if we choose better or are just too stubborn to call it quits.
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Formerly SK
Senior Member
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Posts: 3,255
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Post by Formerly SK on Dec 16, 2012 10:47:43 GMT -5
I didn't say it was necessary or a guarantee. Just that it might help. I wonder if it helps more in the front end. If your parents are happily married for 40 years, they presumably treat each other well. If you grow up watching people treat each other well, you are more likely to pick a partner who treats you well and are more likely to treat them well in return. So it's not like you learn "divorce is not an option" from those long marriages, you learn the small daily skills to keep a marriage together.
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Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 16, 2012 11:12:41 GMT -5
I met my husband when I was in high school and we married 6 years later. We have been married for 18 years and while we have had our bumps and bruises (including a separation a few years ago) I think we are in it for the long haul. We have both recently had some health scares and it really puts things in perspective. When you think your husband might be dying (he isn't) you realize that the small things in life that irritate you don't really mean that much.
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geenamercile
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:40:28 GMT -5
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Post by geenamercile on Dec 16, 2012 11:39:11 GMT -5
Together for 12, married for 8.
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geenamercile
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:40:28 GMT -5
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Post by geenamercile on Dec 16, 2012 12:00:25 GMT -5
"I wonder if it helps more in the front end. If your parents are happily married for 40 years, they presumably treat each other well. "
I wouldn't assume that.... I think it has more to do in if you respect yourself and your spouse and how you decide to treat others, and how you decided to let others treat you.
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Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 4:18:36 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2012 12:10:32 GMT -5
My parents were never married and my mom raised me as a single parent. My role model is definitely my grandparents who married at 16/20 and stayed together until their passing.
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Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 16, 2012 12:57:20 GMT -5
I know what you mean MMC. There seems to be a disconnect between the people I know in RL and those here. It seems like every other person here was divorced at least once and most of the people I know in RL haven't.
*shrugs* doesn't matter, I don't judge divorces really. Sometimes things don't work out.
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Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 4:18:36 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2012 14:12:44 GMT -5
24 yrs and both our parents are divorced. We may not have had great roles models for a good marriage but we both had a really clear picture of what we didn't want our marriage to be.
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flamingo
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 17, 2012 10:38:09 GMT -5
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Mini-Profile Name Color: 7c65d4
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Post by flamingo on Dec 17, 2012 11:44:16 GMT -5
We've been together for 6.5 years and married for 2. Best years of my life
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Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 4:18:36 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 11:50:40 GMT -5
Awww...... Welcome to the Boards flamingo!
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whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 17, 2012 12:02:21 GMT -5
Not only it's the 1st marriage for both of us, there are no divorces in either mine or my DH's families.
That being said, I think my grandparents should have never been married. My grandmother didn't like my grandfather very much....and 62 yrs it's way too long to be with someone you don't like....
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Post by BeenThere...DoneThat... on Dec 17, 2012 12:05:24 GMT -5
...yes...
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formerroomate99
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 12, 2011 13:33:12 GMT -5
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Post by formerroomate99 on Dec 17, 2012 12:47:39 GMT -5
"I wonder if it helps more in the front end. If your parents are happily married for 40 years, they presumably treat each other well. " I wouldn't assume that.... I think it has more to do in if you respect yourself and your spouse and how you decide to treat others, and how you decided to let others treat you. Yeah, but what you expect and how you let other treat you is colored by how your parents treated you and each other. I had a mother who was smart enough to find that diamond in the rough that 99% of the female population overlooked, and a father who was absolutely over the moon for my mom and me. When you have a father who will drag himself to work while the cancer is shattering his thighbone from the inside so you can go to college, you aren't going to be dating a string of random schmucks to fulfill a need for male approval. When you grow up being taught what to look for in a man, you can skip a lot of drama and heartbreak learning things the hard way.
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Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 17, 2012 12:51:00 GMT -5
"I wonder if it helps more in the front end. If your parents are happily married for 40 years, they presumably treat each other well. " I wouldn't assume that.... I think it has more to do in if you respect yourself and your spouse and how you decide to treat others, and how you decided to let others treat you. Yeah, but what you expect and how you let other treat you is colored by how your parents treated you and each other. I had a mother who was smart enough to find that diamond in the rough that 99% of the female population overlooked, and a father who was absolutely over the moon for my mom and me. When you have a father who will drag himself to work while the cancer is shattering his thighbone from the inside so you can go to college, you aren't going to be dating a string of random schmucks to fulfill a need for male approval. When you grow up being taught what to look for in a man, you can skip a lot of drama and heartbreak learning things the hard way. See, I learned from the other end of the spectrum. Once my parents divorced (I was only 9) I saw my mom date one loser after another. I knew I was better than that. Even at a very young age I knew the type of guy that I didn't want to end up wtih. My husband is not perfect but he is a good husband, a good father and a great provider for our family. The only thing I got from my mother was what NOT to do. I can't really give my dad much credit. He is a great guy but he moved out of state when I was still rather young. He did want me to move with him but I was not willing to leave my friends.
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formerroomate99
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 12, 2011 13:33:12 GMT -5
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Post by formerroomate99 on Dec 17, 2012 12:53:35 GMT -5
Yeah, there's something to be said for learning from other people's mistakes. I started dating rather late, and by then all my friends were able to tell me what not to do.
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kindthatjingles
Familiar Member
Joined: Feb 5, 2011 19:06:06 GMT -5
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Post by kindthatjingles on Dec 17, 2012 12:55:45 GMT -5
Divorced after 10 years.. Will never do it again.
I think I have PTSD
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happyscooter
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 5, 2011 9:04:06 GMT -5
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Post by happyscooter on Dec 17, 2012 13:03:48 GMT -5
Together for 34 years, married for 33. I was 19, DH was 20. Nope, not pregnant. In love. Hard years for us. But of course we didn't listen to anyone who could tell us any different. But my parents were always there for us, financially, emotionally and physically. DH's parents, not so much. But it all works out in the end.
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Post by Steady As She Goes on Dec 17, 2012 14:27:23 GMT -5
First and ONLY marriage for both of us. 33 years in January 2013. And I agree with fwjone819 ...
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Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 4:18:36 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2012 14:36:19 GMT -5
Nope.....first one ended after 8 yrs. We were young, what can I say..I'm thankful for my 2 beautiful kids from our union, though. They were 3 and 7 when we separated. And to think it took me 5 long years to get over that a$$*&^%. Sheeesh...what WAS I thinking???
Today, I'm sooo thankful that creep betrayed me...because I never would have had the chance to find the true love of my life 10 years after that, my wonderful Dh. We'll celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary next summer, and we've been together 15....wow, how time flies. Our marriage has definately been one of the blessings in my life...imho, lol!
Raise those standards, ladies!!
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