andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 13, 2012 21:06:54 GMT -5
I guess we are the silent majority I thought I was the silent majority. Never met "the one" so declined when the wrong ones talked about wanting to get married. I'm only going to do it one time, so it's going to have to count! ETA: At this point, I think I'll just stick with the FWB arrangement that I have...
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Dec 13, 2012 21:12:41 GMT -5
Yes on both counts. Been together for 14 years (this month) and married for 8.5 years! My parents divorced about 18/19 years of marriage. DH's parents have been married for 52 years and counting. ;D My maternal grandparents were married for 54 years until my grandfather died. ;D I have no idea about my paternal grandparents as they were both died by the time I was born. DH's maternal grandparents were married for many years until his grandfather died. (She lived for about 14 years after he died and still missed him everyday.) DH's paternal grandfather walked about on his family when FIL was 8. Congratulations to those with the long marriages! ;D
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Cookies Galore
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I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Dec 13, 2012 21:22:08 GMT -5
Together for five and a half years, almost married for -281 days.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 13, 2012 21:23:40 GMT -5
"Two divorces under my belt. Done and done. No more." You and me both. I guess we are two-time losers Add me to that list.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 13, 2012 21:31:22 GMT -5
My parents divorced when I was 5 and my brother was 3. This wasn't so common in 1990. By the time we got to junior high and on a lot of our friends parents got divorced. Most of them should have done it long before they did. Not saying everyone did that but there seemed to be a whole lot of stayed together for the kids that exploded into some nasty divorces when the kids were teenagers. I'm the only one of my friends who's parents are still married. They celebrated their 36th anniversary in October.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2012 21:34:10 GMT -5
I think divorce was pretty common by 1990. My parents got divorced in 80... It wasn't exactly novel among my friends, although maybe not so common as later.
I think my father may be wrapping up number five. I'll have to come up with a new 'nickname sting' ... Or maybe I'm too mature now...
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Dec 14, 2012 0:10:26 GMT -5
First marriage here - though only almost 2 1/2 years for us. My parents were married for 31 years until my dad died, and DH's parents are around 38 years or so and counting.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Dec 14, 2012 0:52:29 GMT -5
Only one marriage, 38 years in March. I was 20 when I got married. We waited 11 years before we had kids,
My parents were married 52 years before they died 6 month apart. DH parents are at 60 years I think and still going.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2012 8:11:08 GMT -5
first marriage here... 17 years... but there are some days... *shakes fist*. Oh.. and I'll only do this once. Consider it a lesson learned. Me too! If anything ever happened to Goose or he got stupid and divorced me...I would never remarry again. I love him more than life, but MAN I do NOT want to train another man!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2012 8:20:35 GMT -5
First marriage here too! Been together since 1993 (DAYUM! ) and married since 2004. Both sets of parents are still married (40+ years) and all grands were married until they died. The first divorce in our family was my youngest sister and no one suggested they should try to work it out or stick it out for my nephew since it was that toxic. Another sister just got divorced after 18 years of marriage....considering her XDH was a musician I suppose they lasted longer than most.
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olderburgher
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Post by olderburgher on Dec 14, 2012 8:44:52 GMT -5
Yes, 46 years plus.
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daisylu
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Enter your message here...
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Post by daisylu on Dec 14, 2012 8:53:00 GMT -5
first marriage here... 17 years... but there are some days... *shakes fist*. Oh.. and I'll only do this once. Consider it a lesson learned. My parents have been married 38 years, and DH's have been married for 39. And all of them are under 60YO.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2012 8:55:07 GMT -5
I have a funny story. My grandfather fell in love with my grandmother after 40 years of marriage. They'd married because it made sense after each had lost the love of their lives but not because of passion or love. It was cute to everyone else and traumatizing to my grandmother. He would tell her how much he loved her, appreciated her, and wanted to hold her hand. She was like "what the hell is wrong with him? Why is he changing the rules now?" that's only funny if she eventually loved him too - otherwise I'd file that under very sad....
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damnotagain
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Post by damnotagain on Dec 14, 2012 8:55:45 GMT -5
I have been married so many times, I can to longer get married in Kentucky. The first three , never changed relatives !
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 14, 2012 9:12:56 GMT -5
1st marriages for both DH and me. Married in 2004, dated for 3.5 before that.
My parents just celebrated 50 years in Oct. and DH's parents are on 48 or 49 years.
My family is like Mutt's, you marry us, you're likely stuck with us.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Dec 14, 2012 9:32:02 GMT -5
Only marriage for both of us - we've been together 26 years, married 22 so far. ;D
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kimber45
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Life's too short to own an ugly gun
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Post by kimber45 on Dec 14, 2012 9:37:57 GMT -5
Yes, It was 26 years in September, DH was 19 and I was 20 when we got hitched.
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kimber45
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Life's too short to own an ugly gun
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Post by kimber45 on Dec 14, 2012 9:38:44 GMT -5
And my parents were married for 60 years would have been 61 this April but dad passed in February.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Dec 14, 2012 10:12:23 GMT -5
DH's first marriage and technically my 2nd. My first marriage lasted a whopping 4 months so for the most part I barely even remember it. DH and I got married on my 21st birthday (he was 23) and we have been married for 16 years now. If you really want the time line: Married first H in December of 95, left for basic training 3 weeks later, H came to my graduation with my parents and distance did not make the heart grow fonder- he was a complete ass to my folks and I saw him for the abusive asshole he really was, went to my tech school after basic and met DH, realized there were decent guys in the world, went home from tech school and filed for divorce, DH and I were both stationed at the same base and arrived on the same day. We were married 4 months later. So if you are keeping track- over the span of 8 months I was married, divorced and remarried
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Dec 14, 2012 10:13:16 GMT -5
DH's mom is on her 4th marriage and my folks have been together since high school. They got married when mom was 20 and dad was 21. Have been together for 43 years now.
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kimber45
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Life's too short to own an ugly gun
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Post by kimber45 on Dec 14, 2012 10:50:09 GMT -5
All of my siblings have been divorced. Oldest sister divorced twice, widowed once. Other sister and brother have been divorced once each, DB has since remarried.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 14, 2012 11:08:25 GMT -5
My first - celebrated 15 years last month. 18 years together.
I think role models help in marriage. If you both came from a house with parents who are making it work, then you will not think it is strange to do the same.
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MB-NY
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DOH!
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Post by MB-NY on Dec 14, 2012 11:33:08 GMT -5
First marriage lasted about 7 years. We were both way too young to have gotten married.
Second marriage (second for both of us) is the one I guess that "took". We'll be married 25 years in June. If nothing else, the first marriage did offer some training, and maybe I got some of the mistakes out of the way.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Dec 14, 2012 12:14:03 GMT -5
Completely agree.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Dec 14, 2012 12:39:10 GMT -5
Completely agree. Not quite certain I agree. My parents divorced after 16 years of marriage, while I was in middle school and DB was in high school. I won't say it didn't suck at the time, but we all have moved passed it and neither DB or I are particularly messed up. My Aunt and her husband decided to stay married "for the kids sake" and FINALLY filed for divorce this last year, after the youngest went to college. My cousins are MESSED UP. I'm pretty certain that "staying together for the kids' sake" was the worst thing my Aunt has ever done. Mostly because it didn't allow any of them to get over it and move on. They all had to keep living in misery. I also think one of the reasons my cohort (tail end of Gen X) has waited to get married is that we saw our parents' marriages fall apart for various reasons and we wanted to avoid that ourselves. I was 27 when we got marrried and DH was 29. My parents were 21 and 23. At 21, there was no way I would have been able to make a good decision about who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I know this is different for some people. There will always be some people who meet the love of thier lives at 10 years old and stay together forever, but I think, societally, the move toward later marriages is a move toward longerm, happier marriages.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 14, 2012 12:41:57 GMT -5
I didn't say it was necessary or a guarantee. Just that it might help.
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steff
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I'll sleep when I'm dead
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Post by steff on Dec 14, 2012 12:50:56 GMT -5
Hubby & I have been married 19 years...and it was a shotgun wedding...we like to joke about who says a shotgun marriage can't last. We met in January, started dating in March, got knocked up in August, and got married in October. We had a LOT of fun on my 25th bday in August that year. lol
Both of our mom's are twice divorced slow learners. Neither of us had a decent or long term male father figure in our homes growing up. But we both knew what "really bad" looked like & never wanted to be like that. We learned very early on how to fight fair & not be nasty to each other.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2012 12:52:37 GMT -5
One marriage ,same man 20+ yrs.
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The Captain
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Hugs are good...
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Post by The Captain on Dec 14, 2012 13:04:26 GMT -5
Karma to you! I think this one sentence is the basis for many happy marriages!
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Dec 14, 2012 14:25:23 GMT -5
Yes. 4 years.
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