Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 6, 2012 23:48:39 GMT -5
I get what you are saying, but as a parent, YOU know when a child is whining because they are tired or hungry, right? Even I can tell the difference and I'm kid-stupid. The OP is also a parent and she evidently had a reason to believe this was more than just normal whining. Some kids whine because they are pissed that they are in a stroller and not free to run around the store....again, not abuse. And if she really thought the child was being abused she should have called the police...of course, tellling a cop that a child is being abused because he was whining in a stroller would probably get a different reaction that what she expected.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 6, 2012 23:49:36 GMT -5
I understand what you are saying and I know I don't have kids so I don't know anywhere close to everything there is to know. But I gotta tell you, I wouldn't give a rat's ass what your reaction would be if I thought something was wrong and decided to step in. You can say what you want. Words don't mean a thing to me. Tell me to mind my own business and I'll tell you just as loudly to kiss my ass and it wouldn't bother me one bit. I'm little, but I'm loud!! I'm just saying I wouldn't take the chance. And somehow, I don't think you would either. You seem like a pretty good guy. Take a chance on what?? The woman wasn't beating the kid...the kid didn't like sitting in the stroller. I think most of us that have kids have been there...I can't even imagine how a kid whining about being in a stroller would break anyone's heart, let alone have a bunch of you jumping in about how the OP should have "done" something.... As an experienced parent, she sensed something more was going on. Perhaps not enough that she felt the need to intervene. I wasn't there and I don't know. I'm just saying that if I sense something is wrong, I'll step in and to hell with hurt feelings. I've been wrong before and I imagine it will happen again. I'd give just about anything to take really good care of a child of my own. I can't stand it when others don't. They are so helpless. Somebody has to stand up for them when the ones that are supposed to don't. I'm not saying that's the case in the OP. I don't know as, again, I wasn't there. But there is no way I keep silent. If that's wrong, then I guess I'm going to hell!
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Dec 6, 2012 23:50:24 GMT -5
Take a chance on what?? The woman wasn't beating the kid...the kid didn't like sitting in the stroller. -------------------- You don't know that. The OP didn't know that. He could have been covered in bruises. If my heart was breaking, I'd go see, not act like my feet were nailed to the floor.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 6, 2012 23:51:21 GMT -5
Take a chance on what?? The woman wasn't beating the kid...the kid didn't like sitting in the stroller. -------------------- You don't know that. The OP didn't know that. He could have been covered in bruises. If my heart was breaking, I'd go see, not act like my feet were nailed to the floor. LOL...so now we go from a whiney kid to one covered in bruises? Wow to amp up the story to fit your needs
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 6, 2012 23:51:36 GMT -5
I hear what you are saying and you are probably right.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 6, 2012 23:53:29 GMT -5
T
Yep, he could have also been covered in blood, OP COULD have looked during that hour that her heart was breaking and she just kept following them around from a far. If I was the kid's mother, I probably would have called the cops myself - do you know how many women try to steal other people's children??? I would be more than curious if a person followed me around for an hour....
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Dec 6, 2012 23:54:46 GMT -5
Take a chance on what?? The woman wasn't beating the kid...the kid didn't like sitting in the stroller. -------------------- You don't know that. The OP didn't know that. He could have been covered in bruises. If my heart was breaking, I'd go see, not act like my feet were nailed to the floor. LOL...so now we go from a whiney kid to one covered in bruises? Wow to amp up the story to fit your needs Well, I guess we'll never know, since nobody went to look. It wouldn't hurt to look, now would it?
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 6, 2012 23:55:44 GMT -5
Oh Lord, I hope you don't live anywhere near me..... I just love it when people who use their psychic powers intervene in other's lives and don't see anything wrong with it.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 6, 2012 23:56:46 GMT -5
Again, Lena? I wouldn't give a rat's ass if you loved it or not.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 6, 2012 23:57:36 GMT -5
Sorry about the "rat" reference, Weltz. It's just what my dad used to say.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Dec 7, 2012 0:00:03 GMT -5
I'd probably do a speed-run up the next aisle over and confront the mother/child team head-on. I'm going to have to get my eyeballs on the kid. If I'm coming toward them, it's not difficult to keep them from leaving until I'm able to visually assess the situation. If I really think something might be wrong, I'm not going to hang around wringing my hands. I'm going to find out for sure.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Dec 7, 2012 0:00:43 GMT -5
I was in a department store today for several hours. For more than an hour of that time, I heard a small boy plaintively asking his mother to let him out of his stroller. NOT in a whiney voice. I know whiney voices. I have teenagers. No, this was more urgent. This was almost (sob)...practiced as if he had been restrained or locked up on a regular basis. He was sooooo polite and so heartbreakingly sad: "Mommy, please let me out." No tantrum. No screaming. Every once in a while there were heart wrenching sobs of pure sadness. Every once in a while he said "It hurts". NOT in the manipulative way kids try to get out of strollers. No, this was factual and yet he wasn't screeching in pain. It was NOT angry. The only word I can think of is plaintive or even softly but fervently pleading. I NEVER once heard his mother reply. I NEVER once heard his mother acknowledge him or his patience. She never said "five more minutes and I'm done". NOTHING. Because he was in a carriage and didn't come to where I was, I couldn't actually see him. But I heard his plaintive voice move throughout the store. I had to fight back tears. And *I* couldn't leave. I had to wait until he and his mother left. Why did he strike such a chord with me? What is wrong with me that I can't tune that stuff out? Oy vey. Selfish, self-absorbed people who aren't tuned into their kids suck. Read the OP again. She felt something was seriously wrong. Her heart was breaking to the point she came here to post it. I would have checked it out and I don't give a damn if anyone likes it or not.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Dec 7, 2012 0:02:26 GMT -5
I've stepped in exactly once. But I watched the guy smack his kid upside the head. Open handed, and he only hit him once, he wasn't like beating him in public. The kid couldn't have been older than 5 though. It was the casual way that it all happened. Like it happened all the time and the dad didn't even think twice about it. He also kinda resembled my step dad, which probably had something to do with it.
Anyway, I told the wife to call the police because I was about to get in a fight. Then I walked up to the guy and told him that if I ever saw him hit his kid again I was going to kill him. I'm not a big guy, so I was expecting the guy to slug me right then and there. He had to have at least 50 pounds on me. Instead he turned around and looked totally shocked. Not pissed, not like he was frazzled and snapped then regretted it, just had this I can't believe you think I'm a bad guy look in his face. Like I'd just walked up and accused him of torturing a puppy or something.
He didn't say anything, just turned around, took his son by the hand, and stood in line to pay for his groceries. The kid of course instantly stopped crying as soon as I walked up and said something, so the dad might have barely cuffed him and the waterworks were all show. I'm still not sure if I should have stepped in or not.
That was my line though. It has to be a clear and present threat to the kid. A parent in the store with a fussy baby, and I don't assume abuse. I assume the kid is tired, cranky, hungry, or whatever. I've seen a few people verbally chastise their kids in a way that doesn't look healthy to me, and I bite my tongue. I'll step in if I think the kid is being physically abused or neglected, but there's no law keeping assholes from breeding.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 7, 2012 0:04:44 GMT -5
Yes, let's all run around and intervene in other people's lives bc "we have a feeling" or "we sense something". What a bunch of selfish BS
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 7, 2012 0:08:22 GMT -5
That's fine. Don't be surprised if I call cops on you, telling them that you are bothering my child and you look like you are drunk or on drugs and a danger to yourself and people around you. Hey, I know I am right, bc I sensed it!!!!! I had VERY strong feeling about you. So, now you can get the help that you need and YOU ARE WELCOME
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Dec 7, 2012 0:09:02 GMT -5
As GEL said, Lena, I don't particularly care whether you like it, or not. If I've got a feeling something's amiss with a child, I'm going to confront the situation. You may not choose to do so. Up to you. You damned well won't be telling me what I'm going to do!
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 7, 2012 0:09:29 GMT -5
Pehaps. I happen to believe it's MORE selfish and cowardly to do nothing because you are afraid you might offend someone.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 7, 2012 0:12:13 GMT -5
LOL!!! People say that all the time. That's nothing new!!
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Dec 7, 2012 0:13:56 GMT -5
I agree, GEL. There's absolutely nothing untoward about checking a situation out if you have a bad feeling about it. I believe it's what we all should be doing for each other. We've all read about situations where someone was seriously injured, or killed, while others stood worthlessly by. There would have been nothing wrong with getting oneself into a position to actually see the child and assure nothing was really wrong. The little one could have had a foot caught sideways, or gotten him/herself into a very uncomfortable position that mom wasn't able to see from her vantage point. That might be visible to someone coming toward them with the child in full view. It could have been just that simple.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Dec 7, 2012 0:15:14 GMT -5
I'll add to my previous posts. I would have scanned the aisles til I could see if the child was having a regular toddler meltdown or if there was a problem (the child was sick or hurt). I WOULD listen to the cries til I found them - and then asked the mother if everything was ok or if she needed assistance (or alerted security/customer service to check it out). Even someone who's never had kids knows the difference between a tired cry and a "I hurt" cry.
I wasn't where the OP was, so what she says was plaintive cries, may or may not have been. But I wouldn't have continued on my way for an hour or two, as the OP says she did, and listened to the cries, without doing "something" to find out if it was a typical toddler tantrum or an actual problem. The child "could" have had an injury or pain not visible to the naked eye that was making him uncomfotable enough to cry in that manner.
You can approach a stranger in a calm manner without "getting in their face". I'd rather do that than walk out of the store and worry if the child was ok or not. If they got pissed-off at me, I could live with it.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 7, 2012 0:15:16 GMT -5
If it's two drunks in a fight in a parking lot....I'm outta there. No way I don't stand up for someone weaker than I am. I would hope someone would do the same for me, but judging by some ofthe opinions in this thread, I'm screwed!!
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 7, 2012 0:16:44 GMT -5
That's a good point, SL. I know my sister has gotten so stressed, she's missed things. It's very possible the lady has gone into a "tune out" phase and could have missed something as simple as a foot caught. Doesn't mean it was on purpose, but a little help might just have been appreciated.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 7, 2012 0:17:09 GMT -5
You don't know me very well, do you?? I am not afraid that I might offend someone. I am just not arrogant enough to think that I know everything and I don't assume that my perception of reality IS reality.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 7, 2012 0:19:25 GMT -5
Lena? Everybody has to do what they think is right. You have every right to act or not act as you see fit.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 7, 2012 0:20:00 GMT -5
I was in a department store today for several hours. For more than an hour of that time, I heard a small boy plaintively asking his mother to let him out of his stroller. NOT in a whiney voice. I know whiney voices. I have teenagers. No, this was more urgent. This was almost (sob)...practiced as if he had been restrained or locked up on a regular basis. He was sooooo polite and so heartbreakingly sad: "Mommy, please let me out." No tantrum. No screaming. Every once in a while there were heart wrenching sobs of pure sadness. Every once in a while he said "It hurts". NOT in the manipulative way kids try to get out of strollers. No, this was factual and yet he wasn't screeching in pain. It was NOT angry. The only word I can think of is plaintive or even softly but fervently pleading. I NEVER once heard his mother reply. I NEVER once heard his mother acknowledge him or his patience. She never said "five more minutes and I'm done". NOTHING. Because he was in a carriage and didn't come to where I was, I couldn't actually see him. But I heard his plaintive voice move throughout the store. I had to fight back tears. And *I* couldn't leave. I had to wait until he and his mother left. Why did he strike such a chord with me? What is wrong with me that I can't tune that stuff out? Oy vey. Selfish, self-absorbed people who aren't tuned into their kids suck. Read the OP again. She felt something was seriously wrong. Her heart was breaking to the point she came here to post it. I would have checked it out and I don't give a damn if anyone likes it or not. Here heart was breaking to the point that she came to an internet message board to tell everyone, but not enough to actually DO SOMETHING?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Dec 7, 2012 0:22:03 GMT -5
Apparently, Lena, you don't feel any responsibility to find out if there's any truth to your "perception of reality", either.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 7, 2012 0:22:55 GMT -5
Even someone who's never had kids knows the difference between a tired cry and a "I hurt" cry. . I'm calling BS on that...my kid could scream bloody hell if she was pissed off...or tired...or hurt...or just plain cranky....
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Dec 7, 2012 0:23:04 GMT -5
I don't know about you, but I find that venting here is a good way to work out stuff. There are some really smart people here and maybe she will have a better idea of what to do or not to do if it happens again. I've seen people bring a lot here. Deaths, births, joys and sorrows. I surely don't find any fault with that.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 7, 2012 0:23:37 GMT -5
GEL, it's very nice that you want to stand up for someone who can't do it for themselves. I just think that before doing so, it might be prudent to have something more to go on than just your feelings.
I gotta get to bed so I can take care of my kids tomorrow so no one can claim that I am neglecting them....
Lena
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 7, 2012 0:24:23 GMT -5
Apparently, Lena, you don't feel any responsibility to find out if there's any truth to your "perception of reality", either. Apparently the OP didn't, either.
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