How To Resign Gracefully

[violagirl]

I've been at the same place for about 5 years, which is pretty long in the public accounting field. I was headhunted for another firm so I decided to take their offer.

I liked where I worked and I liked who i worked with, but the other firm was willing to pay about 150% of my current salary. Which is one of the main reasons I accepted it.

It all happened pretty quick, only within the last couple of weeks. So when I gave my notice yesterday I completely surprised everyone. Everyone took it pretty well except my manager. We were never best friends, but i'd describe our relationship as friendly. Well, it went from friendly to pretty "stoney". I realize he is the one most affected by my leaving so I understand the reaction somewhat.

Could I have done anything to have made it go smoother? I feel bad about leaving them, but on the other hand, I have to look out for my interests first.

He asked why I hadn't said anything before and I thought that was weird because generally if you are thinking about joining a competitor shouldn't you keep that to yourself? I also had informed him several months earlier that someone else had contacted me and then at raise time, I expressed some displeasure and asked about more money, but he never did anything, so ...that didn't leave me to assume that if i said I wanted a 50% raise they would give it to me.

Why do employers expect absolute loyalty from employees when they dont' give it in return? If they had been paying me market rates for my skill - I would have stayed.

[Deleted]

Were you sleeping with anyone at the firm? If not you were doing it all wrong.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...aside for giving the boss a chance to match the offer, don't sweat it... your grace/dignity is not defined by his opinion, anyway...

...and congrats...

[Deleted]

Nov 14, 2012 14:12:52 GMT -5 BeenThere...DoneThat... said:

...aside for giving the boss a chance to match the offer, don't sweat it... your grace/dignity is not defined by his opinion, anyway...

...and congrats...

Exactly. Plus the fact that a good manager should always have contingency plans for employees leaving...even the good ones. It sounds like your old manager is upset because of the negative effect on him not being prepared.

[thyme4change]

My old boss, whom I love, love, love, got his feelings hurt every time someone quit - even if it was because they won the lottery and wanted to be a stay at home mom and take care of their dying grandmother, and become a minister, spreading god's message of love, enter the peace corp or become a nurse to sick children. It didn't matter. He always got over it, and spoke very highly of many of his past employees. I suspect your boss is showing you a sign of respect by being upset that you are no longer going to be available to him. I wouldn't worry about it. Just stay friendly and respectful.

[Deleted]

give notice...and a decent amount of time

never burn a bridge you dont have to

good employees are hard to find...and even harder to keep

i understand his position.....but after awhile i calm down and usually wish the person the best in their new endeavor.....and i have had a few come back to me over the years

sometimes the grass isnt greener on the other side

[tskeeter]

Nov 14, 2012 14:04:46 GMT -5 violagirl said:

I've been at the same place for about 5 years, which is pretty long in the public accounting field. I was headhunted for another firm so I decided to take their offer.

I liked where I worked and I liked who i worked with, but the other firm was willing to pay about 150% of my current salary. Which is one of the main reasons I accepted it.

It all happened pretty quick, only within the last couple of weeks. So when I gave my notice yesterday I completely surprised everyone. Everyone took it pretty well except my manager. We were never best friends, but i'd describe our relationship as friendly. Well, it went from friendly to pretty "stoney". I realize he is the one most affected by my leaving so I understand the reaction somewhat.

Could I have done anything to have made it go smoother? I feel bad about leaving them, but on the other hand, I have to look out for my interests first.

He asked why I hadn't said anything before and I thought that was weird because generally if you are thinking about joining a competitor shouldn't you keep that to yourself? I also had informed him several months earlier that someone else had contacted me and then at raise time, I expressed some displeasure and asked about more money, but he never did anything, so ...that didn't leave me to assume that if i said I wanted a 50% raise they would give it to me.

Why do employers expect absolute loyalty from employees when they dont' give it in return? If they had been paying me market rates for my skill - I would have stayed.

My read on the situation - apparently your manager thought that you'd been around so long that you were a lifer. Even though you gave him two warnings, you told him that you had been contacted and you let him know that you weren't thrilled with the last raise, he ignored the warnings. You chose not be appear to be an unhappy, whiney employee, so you didn't make a big deal out of your dissatisfaction. But when an opportunity was presented you took advantage of it. Let's face it, guys are pretty dense when it comes to reading others, especially women. But you shouldn't have to threaten to leave to get your boss's attention.

Since the accounting community in most areas is pretty close knit, it might be in your interest to try to smooth things over with your boss. Sit down with him and tell him that you are sorry that your leaving will cause some problems for him and that you will do what you can to make for a smooth transition. And maybe talk with him about what your new job offers that caused you to make the decision to leave. In addition to the compensation, I'd expect that the new job presents growth and advancement opportunities that didn't appear to exist for you at your current firm. Talking about your decision in these terms makes it less of a personal issue with your boss. You're not telling him that he is the north end of a south bound horse and that's why you're leaving. Instead, it's about compensation and career path. Two things that he probably doesn't have absolute control over. But your conversation also sends a clear message that the firm needs to look at its compensation and staff development practices.

[thyme4change]

A 50% pay raise? You've really been working at 2/3rds of market value for years?

Whenever someone gets that big of a jump for a similiar position, there is almost always something wrong with the new company - churn and burn shop, or something?? I don't know your situation, but applying the logic that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

Nov 14, 2012 14:46:22 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

A 50% pay raise? You've really been working at 2/3rds of market value for years?

Whenever someone gets that big of a jump for a similiar position, there is almost always something wrong with the new company - churn and burn shop, or something?? I don't know your situation, but applying the logic that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

...at the risk of muddying these waters... (my background is mostly ministry) ...jumping salary bands for same work is easily done when jumping between non-profits and for-profits...

[raeoflyte]

Staying at the same company will never earn you the big bucks though. So if you work somewhere for 5 years, you're frequently paid less than someone who is coming in brand new. At least is what I've noticed (although I'm the 'lifer' and I've stayed employed through many a layoff and company bankruptcies, but haven't had a raise in almost 8 years).

[formerroomate99]

I think the op's boss's feelings are perfectly natural, but his behavior is unreasonable. Only a fool would threaten to leave before having another job lined up, and it seems pretty clear that your boss would have continued underpaying you forever if you had not looked elsewhere.

Just try to be nice and do what you can while you are there to ensure a smooth transition.

[formerroomate99]

Nov 14, 2012 14:46:22 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

A 50% pay raise? You've really been working at 2/3rds of market value for years?

Whenever someone gets that big of a jump for a similiar position, there is almost always something wrong with the new company - churn and burn shop, or something?? I don't know your situation, but applying the logic that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Sometimes. But there are also plenty of companies who grossly underpay their employees. Time will tell.

[Deleted]

I think it is always awkward when you leave. They are panicking and scrambling to figure out what to do in your absence. They may have to shoulder extra work for a while while they get things sorted out . They may have to spend a lot more money to get someone with your skills (because clearly, you were underpaid).

Be polite, give a reasonable amount of notice. Tie a bow around as much stuff as you can. Write status updates for ongoing projects. And get the hell out of dodge.

They'll be nice again a year from now.

[imawino]

If it doesn't involve writing "I KWIT!" on your ass with a sharpie and mooning your boss as you walk out while laughing maniacally, I'm all out of advice.

[swamp]

Nov 14, 2012 16:47:25 GMT -5 imawino said:

If it doesn't involve writing "I KWIT!" on your ass with a sharpie and mooning your boss as you walk out while laughing maniacally, I'm all out of advice.

I wasn't supposed to do that?! Ooopsie........

[Peace Of Mind]

Your boss is just upset that he lost a good employee that he didn't think he had to pay market value. Since you gave him two warnings it's his problem. Just be cordial, professional and don't burn bridges. I hope you love your new job. DH once had his salary doubled and he loves his company, boss, and job. A Headhunter approached him for the job and he negotiated hard because he wasn't looking at the time! They treat him very well and he is very much appreciated and he works his butt off for them too. He has never looked back or regretted his decision.

[hoops902]

::We were never best friends, but i'd describe our relationship as friendly. Well, it went from friendly to pretty "stoney".::

I'll offer up an explanation. Your manager doesn't really care to be friends with anyone, but feels required to (either internally or by the company) to appear at least "friendly" to the employees. Now that you're not going to be an employee, the manager doesn't feel the need to "fake it" with you.

Our company recently went through a transition where I split from all of my reports but had to come back a month or so later to do a few weeks of training. New employees now work for an outsourcing company, part of the outsourcing agreement was that I would do some previously scheduled training with them. Everyone commented that I must be mad about the training because I wasn't very friendly anymore. Truth is I loved the training because it got me out of doing my job for a few weeks, but I didn't need to be fake-nice to my reports anymore and I'm naturally not someone who really gives a **** what you did last weekend, how your puppy is doing, or stories about your kid and how special they are. But when I managed them, I was required to be "friendly" and "engage with them socially" based on how the company viewed the position.

[TheOtherMe]

Congrats Viola and K to you for landing a new job.

You did nothing wrong. If they had paid you what you are worth, you'd still be working there.

[violagirl]

Historically my firm pays lower wages than the other ones because they tout the "work/life balance". Although, that balance is weighted heavily toward the "work" rather than the "life". The reason mine were particularly low was because I was hired with only a diploma and not a degree. I recently attained a degree and accounting designation. At raise time, I asked if there would be a bump now that I had those two things and received nothing. Even if they DID offer me more money, they would not have offered as much as I received for leaving. Judging from past experience.
I knew in order to get a big raise I had to leave. I think it is pretty much like that everywhere. Aside from the money, I also considered other advantages - larger firm, larger clients, chance to see different ways of doing things. Different people. And I would be #2 in the office instead of #4.
I considered playing them against one another, but that just seemed...like if they knew i was even considering it, it might work against me in the long run. So I decided just to take the plunge.

Maybe for better or same or worse..but if I never take a chance...I'll never know.

When I knew i was leaving, i started wrapping up the clients i was working on so that would be done. But they pretty much walk you out the door when you announce you are going to the competition. So even if I had of been willing to train the new guy like I was supposed to, they just wouldn't let me.

As for "appearing" friendly, that is funny because I have generally the same view as hoops902 toward my workmates. But I dont' go out of my way to be unfriendly. And I was working with him for several years so I know about his kids etc etc. but not like I go over for dinner or anything.

[susanb]

Congratulations on the new job, increased qualifications and pay raise Viola!

As far as resigning gracefully, it seems like your actions fall in that category. When people have given us notice and get a better paying job, we are genuinely happy for them and try not to burn a bridge as an employer. Often we have to send them a quick email or text asking for help locating information or with a project they were working on.

[Deleted]

It all depends on the company culture and the manager's attitude. I worked in one department where the practice was that the day you gave 2 weeks' notice, you were gone, and paid for those 2 weeks. Companies really ought to celebrate the fact that their employees are valued enough to be sought after by other employers, and celebrate when they go on to something better, but they don't. I got a big kick out of posting to my 500+ LinkedIn contacts when I changed jobs 2 months ago and having quite a few people at my previous employer react with, "huh? what? I didn't know you left!"

[lurkyloo]

Sounds like you handled it just right. I've heard horror stories of what can happen when you accept a matching offer from your current job--tends to breed resentment and sometimes they'll match it just to let you go shortly thereafter. You indicated that you weren't happy with your compensation; they shrugged; your boss is probably kicking himself (rightly so) for not giving you a better raise but sounds like it still wouldn't be close to what you're making now.

Congrats on the new better-paid job!

[zibazinski]

In public accounting, you have to leave to get a decent raise. They had to know they were on borrowed time and probably thought you didn't know that little fact about leaving to get a raise. I still remember when Arthur Andersen in the late 70s had to give raises to those who had been there a few years because the new grads got more money and one of them let it slip. The underpaid older employees were very unhappy as was Arthur for being found out. After that it was a firable offense to talk salaries with co-workers.

[Nazgul Girl]

When I left jobs for better ones, I just gave them my two weeks' notice, thanked them for the great opportunity and times I'd had with the company over the years, told them what I had done to wrap up my duties, and then waited out the two weeks with a big smile on my face. I seldom leave an employer unless they make it impossible for me to stay there.

Workplace quality is as or more important to me than the amount of money I'm taking out of the job. Since all work in my field is basically the same, and the pay rates are very similar, I'll stay in a job with good benefits and pleasant atmosphere for as long as possible, as long as they're not cutting my hours because they're in a financial mess. I truly wonder how things will work out for my present employer. I think that within six months, this major healthcare system will have trouble paying its bills. They have tens of millions in accounts receivable tied up in the edits and rejections in the "improved" Electronic Health Record System. It's just a mess and if they don't put entire departments on mandatory overtime and get some programming done to fix some of the snags, this will continue to build. They're cutting back hours instead, and many, many experienced employees are walking out of the door. Retirement parties are weekly. They understand how to use the system, but can't stand the inefficiencies.....

[bookkeeper]

Leaving a job can feel much more difficult than starting one. I left my accounting job of 12 years last May. I had warned my boss several times that his behavior was negatively affecting profitability and his working relationship with me. As someone else described, he thought I was a lifer. The harsh reality came when I removed myself from the bank accounts and cut my company credit card in half and put it on his desk. Because he thought I was a lifer, I was not entitled to receive regular reviews or increases in compensation to match my work load. The final straw was placed the same week he decided to pay part time truck drivers more than what several full time employees were making (including me). He couldn't get any truck drivers to drive for him because he was such a jerk and couldn't remember what he did yesterday. Therefore he had to pay well to get anyone to do the job.

On Friday I asked him to sign a check and his ball point pen wouldn't write, so he threw it at me. That pretty well summed up how valued I was at his business. On Monday I gave my notice.

I gave my two weeks notice and my boss expected me to stay to hire a replacement and train that person. I remained firm that I would work the next two weeks and have all the work caught up to that point. The first week was quiet with no one talking to me. The second week I trained a cpa from a local firm to do my job until they could hire a permanent employee. My boss did not speak to me when I left, but he did throw me a lunch with all the employees on my last day and mailed a farewell letter to my home a week later.

Working relationships are like a marriage. You only get out what you put in and this guy hadn't put any effort into keeping a long time employee. Truthfully, more money would not have gone very far. This boss had too many bad habits and no boundries to go with them.

[Nazgul Girl]

" Hop on the bus, Gus, You don't need to discuss much, just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free...."

Paul Simon, " Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lov ( I mean ) Employer...."