When your personal and professional life (UPDATE)

[muttleynfelix]

(Update on Post 35)

So what do you do when you are just flat out of time to do everything? Over the last 2 days, I've gotten 4 deadlines at work that are due in the next 2 weeks. Unfortunately, I have 3 days of professional conferences that I have to do because my boss asked me not to go to a conference earlier this year and now I am running out of time for my PDHs. So, now I'm down to having 7 working days out of 10.

Then my DH gets another steroid shot in his back the 2nd which will mean taking a half day away from the office since he has to take a valium with it and can't drive for 8 hrs. I also start doing 2 week check ups with my doctor now that I'm into the 3rd trimester and have an appointment on the 9th. Then, I got a call from my OB today and told me that I failed the 3 hr glucose test (which was a half day off work because I ended up being at the lab for almost 4 hrs) and I have to meet with the maternal/fetal medicine doctor at some point and take a class on what I can eat and can't.

Theoretically everything is suppose to calm down by the 12th, but at this point I'll be lucky to make it to the 12th with my sanity in check. Oh yeah, my DH's aunt and cousin are also going to be in town (staying with MIL) next week and our 7th anniversary is on the 8th.

So, what do you do to stay calm when there is too much going on at once? My boss has been given the play-by-play of my schedule - both personally and professionally for the next 2 weeks. Most of the deadlines aren't a ton of work, we're bringing in one of field guys to help with some of it. But i also don't have a lot of faith that things will settle down even after the 12th. Things were suppose to settle down after our massive project from this summer was completed - they haven't. I'm just very overwelmed by it all.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Toke up, calm down, and work through it.

[swamp]

I drink. But you're pregnant, so you can't do that.

Take a deep breath, prioritize. Is there someone else who can babysit your husband? Can you do some project at home or while waiting for him? Can you do some work while waiting at the docs?

Stay late or go in early?

The anniversary can be celebrated later.

The relatives might have to see DH without you.

[Deleted]

I pick my top priorities, make sure I do them, and do the other things one thing at a time. If it's not a priority and it's late the world won't end. In this case your course and doctor appts are the priorities. The aunt and cousin will understand not being a priority this time. The boss gets to take responsibility for asking you to delay your professional conferance.

[swasat]

Just do what MUST be done. Like work, medical appointments etc. Anniversary celebration can wait. Meeting family can be a casual and relaxed affair if they are of the type (you know your family better)

Rest everything waits till things calm down. Do laundry only when needed. The house can go dirty. As long as you, DH and DS are fed, clothed and rested enough, everything else at home can take a back seat.


Take a deep breath and tackle one thing at a time We all have phases like that in our lives and we all live to tell the tale.

[Driftr]

Sept 28, 2012 13:56:57 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

So, what do you do to stay calm when there is too much going on at once?

It may sound stupid given the source, but in the words of Major Charles Emerson Winchester III "I do one thing at a time, I do it verywell, and then I move on."

Heard that as a kid. still works for me when I get in over my head.

[giramomma]

Can you do any work at different times? Or can you only do your work in your office. If you can only work in your office, this won't apply to you. Then I'd just suggest you ask your boss which deadlines are most important and work on them based on their importance.


I'm lucky in that I can work anywhere I have my laptop and internet. So, I would try to work smartly.

When I had my 3 hour glucose test, I wasn't allowed to leave the lab, but I brought my laptop so I could work for most of the time. The only time I lost was when they were actually drawing my blood.

(I'm wondering if your results were accurate if you were at the lab for almost 4 hours for a 3 hour test.)

As for the OB appointments, can you get them as early in the day as possible so that you won't be further behind from that?

Why do you need to take a half day off for you DH's shot? Is it because he is the SAHD? (I think he is?) Will it actually take you 4 hours to drive to the dr and drive home? Is there anyone you can ask to either help drive or help watch your child?

I would also try to get in a few hours during the day during conferences (before, during lunch, and after).

And, then there's going without sleep. In my first trimester I was working 7 days a week-about 60 hours, plus I was taking two online classes. I pretty much slept like 3-4 hours a night to get everything done that I needed to. I never plan on doing that again, but it was what was needed at the time.

Our 11th anniversary was a few weeks ago. We managed to get each other cards and had sex. Not bad with three kids, including a 4 month old. We called it good.

[muttleynfelix]

Thanks.

swamp - will you drink for me?

Is there someone else who can babysit your husband? Can you do some project at home or while waiting for him?

MIL watches DS while DH has these procedures. Most of my time is actually spent driving. Last time, I had DH pick me up at the office, but that was actually cutting a little close with the valium because as soon as he got here it really started to kick in. Then, I drove to the facility, I only waited about an hr from the time he checked in to the time they wheeled him out. Then drove home. Then MIL drove me back to the office (and nearly killed us).

I can work some this weekend. Next weekend, I'm not sure. Since I'm not sure how long DH's aunt will be in town.

Do laundry only when needed. The house can go dirty. As long as you, DH and DS are fed, clothed and rested enough, everything else at home can take a back seat.

What? I'm suppose to do laundry? DH takes care of 90% of household stuff since he's a SAHD. I really just have to go to work, pay bills, occaisonally coook, and meal plan. This weekend I do have to pay bills though. They've been put off as long as possible.

[Deleted]

Only thing you can do is prioritize

And stay focused

Everything you do that doesnt cross something off the list becomes lost time that cannot be regained

No one is superhuman...so breathe and go

[swasat]

Sept 28, 2012 14:16:08 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

Do laundry only when needed. The house can go dirty. As long as you, DH and DS are fed, clothed and rested enough, everything else at home can take a back seat.

What? I'm suppose to do laundry? DH takes care of 90% of household stuff since he's a SAHD. I really just have to go to work, pay bills, occaisonally coook, and meal plan. This weekend I do have to pay bills though. They've been put off as long as possible.

You already have it pretty good.

[muttleynfelix]

When I had my 3 hour glucose test, I wasn't allowed to leave the lab, but I brought my laptop so I could work for most of the time. The only time I lost was when they were actually drawing my blood.

(I'm wondering if your results were accurate if you were at the lab for almost 4 hours for a 3 hour test.)

I was going to take my laptop but my big deadline yesterday was a project too big to run effectively on my laptop. I got the emails about 3 of the deadlines while I was at the lab. The main reason it took so long was because I didn't get checked in when I thought I did. So, I lost 30 min on the front end. Probably each time they drew blood it was 65 min instead of 60. If anything that should have given me better results. (I think). Given how bad I had the shakes when I finally got to eat yesterday, I guess I'm not too surprised with the results, just frustrated.

[muttleynfelix]

Anyway, I better leave here and get back to work, so I can knock some stuff off the list. Thanks for the advice. I'll be back on tonight.

[muttleynfelix]

As for the OB appointments, can you get them as early in the day as possible so that you won't be further behind from that?

My OB's earliest appt is 9:00am. After my next appt, I have them set up for 1:30 until I'm 36 weeks. That seems to work best since DH likes to come with me. So the 3 of us go out to lunch and then to the appt. I think my OB has dropped his patient load because with this baby, I have never had to wait. He was doing a c-section during one appt, but I just let his RN do the appt. With my 1:30 appt, I've always been back to work by 2pm.

[happyhoix]

I bitch to DH.

We've been married long enough he has learned how to look sympathetic while secretly zoning out (or listening to sports on the TV).

It works for us.

[Phoenix84]

Like swamp said,

You can push back your annivsersery if you're too busy, just tell your husband.

Can you find someone to deal with your husband's medical issues? Try delegating that.

And you can't schedule the pregnancy class for after the 12?

As far as family visiting from out of town, they should (if they're worth their weight) understand if you're busy and can't meet them much.

[Deleted]

I feel for you Muttley, you have a lot going on.

Can your MIL or BIL take care of DH's medical appt just this once?

Also, I don't know the details, but is the valium necessary? Or can your DH take it after he gets home? I have steroid shots in my hip sometimes (chronic tendinitis) and I have never had to take valium or anything else with it. I drive myself there and back home afterwards.

Good luck! Delegate whatever you can, get as much sleep as you can, and get through one day at a time.

[kittensaver]

Find a friend/family member (or pay someone) to shuttle hubby to his appointment.

Let the housework slide (or get family help or pay for some one-time, in-home cleaning/laundry help).

See if your boss can negotiate or stretch any deadlines.

Assume the glucose test was a false positive, cut sugar and fast carbs (white flour products) out of your diet for a few weeks, and return for a repeat test after everything settles down. THEN if it's still bad, see the nutritionist.

Tell visiting family you are stressed to the max, and if they want to visit you'll need to meet them at a restaurant for a meal - DON'T host and DON'T cook - you don't have time.

Tell hubby he needs to be in charge of your anniversary this year . . . something simple like your favorite home-cooked meal, beautiful flowers and an hour-long foot rub

Breathe deep and meditate, pray, do yoga or SOMETHING to calm your nervous system (and the baby's too :-)).

Good luck to you!

[northdakotanice]

I feel for you....I was gestational diabetic through my pregnancies, and although it was a concern I felt like I was forced to eat really great foods and in the long run was a healthier pregnant lady because of it.

When I'm stressed and over scheduled, I make lists and get as absolutely organized as possible. Then i delegate to DH, coworkers, anyone who can help.

Here's a list for you

#1 Priority: Yours and baby's health. Get your blood glucose situation figured out and get on track with what you need to eat and avoid.

#2 Priority: DH's steroid shot. Can this be delegated to your MIL or maybe the relatives that are visiting from out of town? Could be a lovely way for DH to spend time with them

#3 Priority: Work. I like that your boss is already planning on delegating some of the work. When I was pregnant, my boss was very aware toward the end that I was "delicate"....He did everything he could to help me avoid stress and therefore be available for work and not on bed rest or in the hospital.

#4 Priority: Anniversary. Your DH will understand, you can celebrate later.

PS: I had great luck controlling my blood sugar when I'd go for a leisurely walk at least once a day. Even if it was only for 10-15 minutes I noticed a huge difference. It can help with stress too! Good luck.

[muttleynfelix]

Can you find someone to deal with your husband's medical issues? Try delegating that.

I know a lot of you have mentioned this and yes there are people in our lives that could take DH to this appointment. But I honestly feel like this is something I have to do for DH. He does so much for me, especially this pregnancy, and I feel like I need to be there for him for this. I'm the only person with whom he is at least 50% honest with about his medical problems.

And you can't schedule the pregnancy class for after the 12?

I'm not sure when it is offered and I'm not sure how much of a choice I'll get. The thing is if I have nothing scheduled by the 9th, it will be a very unpleasant appt.

As far as family visiting from out of town, they should (if they're worth their weight) understand if you're busy and can't meet them much.

Yeah, I found out that they are only here from Tuesday night until Saturday morning. Since my conference is 2 hrs away and I am going to get a hotel for Thursday night and won't be back until after 6 on Friday. I'm not going to see them that much.

t is the valium necessary? Or can your DH take it after he gets home

They won't let him drive after the shot regardless of valium or not. The first time he had the shot, he had it without the valium and it was bad. THe second time he had the valium and the shot itself was still very painful. This time he says he's taking the valium after he gets home. But he still needs me to drive at least away from the doctor's office. If he's doing ok, he could probably take me back to the office so that my MIL won't have to drive me back to work (that would save me about an hour - it is 20 min from my office to the house, but it takes a while to get MIL out the door).

As for the anniversary, well, originally we had planned for DH to come with me to the conference and he would get some rest while I got my PDHs and have DS's church grandparents watch him for those 2 days. But they have an obligation. MIL can't watch DS for 2 days straight by herself. If DH's aunt were staying longer, I think we would have DS stay with MIL and Aunt (and cousin), but I would feel bad if DH wasn't around to see his aunt. Plus, she really wants to see DS and she wants DH to drive her around. So, I guess I'm off to Arkansas to the conference by myself.

Anyway, off to do some internet research to try to figure out how to properly meal plan. I'm horrible at counting calories and counting carbs intimidates me.

[whoami]

They won't let him drive after the shot regardless of valium or not. The first time he had the shot, he had it without the valium and it was bad. THe second time he had the valium and the shot itself was still very painful. This time he says he's taking the valium after he gets home. But he still needs me to drive at least away from the doctor's office. If he's doing ok, he could probably take me back to the office so that my MIL won't have to drive me back to work (that would save me about an hour - it is 20 min from my office to the house, but it takes a while to get MIL out the door).
__________________________

Is it an ESI? I get those but they knock me out. I dont feel a thing and while I cant drive myself home, I dont have any issues with pain or anything when I wake up. It doesnt take long at all either. They give me the med into the IV, Im out and 20 minutes later its over with. Im a little groggy for about 30 minutes after but no more than an hour later I am fine. I would never do it without sedation, too many people Ive talked to who have had just Valium say it totally sucks.

[raeoflyte]

I'm not sure this will apply to you since dh is a sahd, but when we're too busy to think, we switch to paper plates/utensils, stock up on cereal, sandwiches, and convenience foods for dinner.

Did your doc give you the basic gd diet? I don't have any idea what it is, but when I was switching to a gluten free diet I didn't have time to wade through the millions of internet pages telling me to do. So I printed the list of ok and not ok foods and spent a week living on fruit, rice cakes, and corn. I added in a few new items each week as I checked them against my lists.

I am also a big fan of lists. I'd detail out the required deadlines, and the available days to do them. How many work deadlines can you tackle before the conference? (Try to figure out how many can be realistically done in your standard 8 hour day at work--I have been bringing work home my whole pregnancy but once I convince ds3 its time for bed I'm usually passed out as well so its been an epic fail at working at home).

Delegate everything you can. Put your phone on do not disturb and change your voice mail that return calls will be delayed. Urgent matters refer to your cell or a co-worker to screen, and then deal with urgent matters as succinctly as possible so that people clue in that you are serious.

Good luck! Is your boss going to let things slow down when you're actually out on leave and he's half way across the world? I might broach the subject of hiring a contractor now to get through your leave since it sounds like business isn't going to let up anytime soon.

[muttleynfelix]

Whoami- I'm not sure of the technical term. DH does have the option of getting a general anesthetic, but he has refused.

Rae- as far as I know my boss decided not to go on the mission trip to Africa. At least it has not been brought up again. He did say he was going to miss me while on maternity leave. I'm supposed to get some info from the dr on the gd diet, but since it was 20 min before noon on Friday when they told me about it, I haven't heard anything yet and won't until next week.

Anyway, I've got my list of things to get out of the way first. Hopefully DS will take a nap today do I can get started then. Otherwise it will be after bedtime (which is fortunately pretty early if he does not nap).

[Deleted]

Are you talking epidural steroid injections? My husband had a series of 3 shots of those with no anesthesia. If enough local is used to numb the site, it shouldn't be much pain involved. And, epidurals and spinals are given all the time without premedication. If valium is a personal preference, then yes a driver is needed.

[Deleted]

Sept 28, 2012 14:01:21 GMT -5 swamp said:

I drink. But you're pregnant, so you can't do that.
Take a deep breath, prioritize. Is there someone else who can babysit your husband? Can you do some project at home or while waiting for him? Can you do some work while waiting at the docs?

Stay late or go in early?

The anniversary can be celebrated later.

The relatives might have to see DH without you.

she's in her 3rd trimester....everything is already formed....I don't think a glass of wine a few times a week is going to cause any harm.

[swamp]

I don't necessarily disagree, but im not looking to hijack her thread over whether or not it's OK to have a glass of wine when pregnant.

[Deleted]

Sept 29, 2012 9:10:41 GMT -5 swamp said:

I don't necessarily disagree, but im not looking to hijack her thread over whether or not it's OK to have a glass of wine when pregnant.

is there ever a thread that doesn't get hijacked?

I agree with the other posters....make a list of what must be done first, second, third, etc.....everything else becomes nonexistent.

go to the pregnancy board and ask someone who had GD what their diet was (you may have already done this).....then you can push that appt off a bit.

[whoami]

Sept 29, 2012 8:27:10 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

Whoami- I'm not sure of the technical term. DH does have the option of getting a general anesthetic, but he has refused.

It's not general anesthesia, its IV sedation. There is a big difference between the two for me in that I don't handle general well at all. If he is having that much pain and difficulty with the procedure, I would look into it.

[whoami]

Sept 29, 2012 8:33:01 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Are you talking epidural steroid injections? My husband had a series of 3 shots of those with no anesthesia. If enough local is used to numb the site, it shouldn't be much pain involved. And, epidurals and spinals are given all the time without premedication. If valium is a personal preference, then yes a driver is needed.

So? I had 2 babies with no pain meds at all. Didn't need them. I guess that means everyone should. If he is having that much pain when he has the procedure, he should explore ways to minimize it.

[Deleted]

Agree with need to pick the immediate NECESSITIES to do the rest postpone, or pay someone else to do if possible (if you can't pay, trade, even trade favors for a time in the future that is less crazy...).

While its nice to be with DH. Paying someone to drive him might be an option. Also look for ways to kill two birds... can you phone conference with the nutritional person during your lunch break? Something like that... I looked for an audiobook on gestational diabetes, but couldn't find one....

[muttleynfelix]

Well, project #1 is complete and turned in and I'm working on project #2.

My boss and coworker are taking the lead on project #3 and project #4 isn't as hard of a deadline as the other 3.

My maternal/fetal medicine appt isn't until the 16th. GD education classes are apparently typically on Tuesday mornings. They are suppose to call me, but it will probably be next Tuesday or the 16th which seems more manageable. A friend of mine gave me the breakdown her nutricianist gave her and I should be ok if i cut the junk out of my diet.

Now for the fun stuff (that is sarcasm BTW) - our phone and DSL went out over the weekend. DH is going to call to try to get them fixed. Of course it made doing research on what to eat and what not to eat a little harder. It also made some of the work I tried to do over the weekend harder because I couldn't look stuff up like i needed to.

Then I ran over the neighbor's dog on the way to work. My hubby said he would get ahold of them for me. I (of course) cried, but it isn't like I had a choice. I wasn't speeding and their 2 dogs came shooting out of the woods at full speed. My only other option was to go in the ditch and well, that isn't an option. I hope the neighbors aren't too mad. DH and I always talk about how someday their dog or the other neighbor's dogs were going to get run over since they are always running all over the countryside. It just sucks that it was me that hit it.