Dad forgets baby in car; child dies

[Opti]

usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/09/26/14111261-baby-dies-in-car-after-father-forgets-to-drop-her-off-at-day-care?lite

Doxie's DH could be worse!
Sad story of Dad forgetting baby was in a carseat in the back seat.

[Deleted]

how awful. I just cannot imagine. I really can't.

[Wisconsin Beth]

God, I hate those stories. That was one of my biggest fears and why I didn't make a fuss over doing the kid dropoffs for the first couple years. Yes, I'm paranoid.

[Opti]

Sept 26, 2012 12:00:05 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

how awful. I just cannot imagine. I really can't.

Yes it is incredibly sad and I wonder how the marriage is going to survive. I also wonder how the older child who got dropped off at school is going to feel.

[busymom]

I think that's the problem, Lone. People take on too many things these days. There's almost pride around my neighborhood in being over-scheduled...


RIP little baby.

[midjd]

The incidence of such events has increased exponentially since more and more carseats are designed for the back seat. Out of sight, out of mind. I can see how it could happen, but I know there's not much public sympathy. Very tragic.

[swamp]

I think it also happened before, but every incidence wasn't internationally published on the internet.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

How awful. I don't think I'd be able to go on living after that.

I was also super paranoid about forgetting Gwen in the car. Especially the first few weeks back at work becuase I was so exhausted I honestly would not remember the drive to work. I'd get out and look thru the rear window to make sure she was gone before I'd head up to work.

DH is still paranoid to this day even though she's two and would make quite a stink if we forgot her. I give him props for being diligent.

[Opti]

Sept 26, 2012 12:16:04 GMT -5 midjd said:

The incidence of such events has increased exponentially since more and more carseats are designed for the back seat. Out of sight, out of mind. I can see how it could happen, but I know there's not much public sympathy. Very tragic.

I was thinking that too. If the baby had been in the passenger seat I doubt this would have happened.

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2012 12:19:53 GMT -5 Opti said:

Sept 26, 2012 12:16:04 GMT -5 midjd said:

The incidence of such events has increased exponentially since more and more carseats are designed for the back seat. Out of sight, out of mind. I can see how it could happen, but I know there's not much public sympathy. Very tragic.

I was thinking that too. If the baby had been in the passenger seat I doubt this would have happened.

Or on his lap.

[Deleted]

I can't be as judgmental as others since this happened to my SIL's co-worker.

The coworker ended up being committed because she was suicidal after it happened. I couldn't imagine....

[Phoenix84]

This is indeed sad news.

Hmmm, It's nice to think it couln't happen to you, but it certainly pays to be extra dilligent that you got the kid out of the car.

Something smilar is toddlers getting run over when their parents back out of the driveway. I read an article about it. Small children have a "bye bye" tendancy to follow their parent around, which is okay except when mommy or daddy gets in the car and starts backing up....

[Tennesseer]

Put your purse/briefcase in the back seat by the baby. Take your car key off its ring and put the rest of the keys in the backseat with the baby. Put anything you are carrying and that you will need at your ultimate destination in the backseat with the baby.

That will hopefully take care of the parents forgetting the kids in cars. Now if day care centers could get a handle on leaving small kids in their business vehicles the problem(s) would be solved.

[swamp]

Sept 26, 2012 12:30:37 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Put your purse/briefcase in the back seat by the baby. Take your car key off its ring and put the rest of the keys in the backseat with the baby. Put anything you are carrying and that you will need at your ultimate destination in the backseat with the baby.

That will hopefully take care of the parents forgetting the kids in cars. Now if day care centers could get a handle on leaving small kids in their business vehicles the problem(s) would be solved.

until your kid tosses the keys out the window.

[raeoflyte]

It's a tragic accident, and unfortunate that we would rather further add to the families suffering by spouting nonsense that such things could never happen to us instead of reaching out in sympathy.

Accidents are just that. They happen to everyone, and you just hope and pray that one like this never happens to you.

[midjd]

And throws up in the purse

[Deleted]

When they reported on the story I remember the news showing some kind of clip or something that you attach to your steering wheel as a reminder to yourself. The idea is akin to tying the string around your wrist I suppose.

[swamp]

i left the baby in the house when i left for work.

i realized it when i got to the car, but it happens.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Small children have a "bye bye" tendancy to follow their parent around, which is okay except when mommy or daddy gets in the car and starts backing up....

That's one of my biggest fears too. I've been really dilgent about cars since she learned how to walk.

I know I can't prevent everything but I am hoping that stressing that she is never to be around a running vehicle without mommy/daddy/grandparents holding her hand is sinking in.

She's thrown a few fits when my dad is working on the car and she wants to go over there but if it is on, she's not allowed in the driveway. Period.

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2012 12:32:55 GMT -5 midjd said:

And throws up in the purse

Cause then you'll just kill the kid yourself.

[kgb18]

Out of sight, out of mind.

I don't understand that. My children are never out of my mind. I've always been so paranoid if they're okay in the back that I'm constantly checking on them, talking to them, listening for them, etc.

If you have the stomach for it, The Washington Post wrote a story in 2009 about parents who forgot their babies in the back seat and they died. It won the Pulitzer. It's an inside look at how it happens and how some parents were punished, try to cope, etc. It's hard to read, but it's an amazing piece. Here's the link:

www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/27/AR2009022701549.html

[Tennesseer]

Sept 26, 2012 12:33:48 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Sept 26, 2012 12:32:55 GMT -5 midjd said:

And throws up in the purse

Cause then you'll just kill the kid yourself.

But you will still have the car key...to drive the little monster to the nearest orphanage.

[Tennesseer]

Sept 26, 2012 12:36:10 GMT -5 kgb18 said:

Out of sight, out of mind.

I don't understand that. My children are never out of my mind. I've always been so paranoid if they're okay in the back that I'm constantly checking on them, talking to them, listening for them, etc.

If you have the stomach for it, The Washington Post wrote a story in 2009 about parents who forgot their babies in the back seat and they died. It won the Pulitzer. It's an inside look at how it happens and how some parents were punished, try to cope, etc. It's hard to read, but it's an amazing piece. Here's the link:

www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/27/AR2009022701549.html

About ten years ago my city had two unrelated occurrences on the same day of mothers forgetting their little ones in their cars. Both kids died.

[zibazinski]

It's easier than you think, especially since a lot of babies sleep in the car. Crap, I left DS in the shopping cart in the parking lot. Loaded all the groceries, got in and got to the edge of the parking lot and remembered. You're tired, they are quiet, it happens.

[midjd]

I was responsible for leaving my sister at home alone when she was about 3

My mom asked me to check the backseat to make sure she was there. I pretended to look (because she was ALWAYS there and I thought my mom was ridiculously paranoid). Got to Wal-Mart and backseat was empty. Oops!

I still don't think my mom has forgiven me for that one

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

We left my brother in the car alone at the gas station. I went in with my mom to the bathroom, my dad later came in and asked where is Bob and my mom goes "I thought he was with you" and I piped up "He's alseep in the back seat!"

And *I* get in trouble because I didn't tell anyone he was in the backseat before everyone left. Hey I am not supposed to be the responsible adult in this scenario!

First time we were going to go out with Gwen we left the car seat, with her in it, on the bed. We were almost out the door when I remembered that we had forgotten something. DH said at least we didn't make it to the car before we remembered.

[giramomma]

Sept 26, 2012 12:09:58 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

Why are things like this happening?!!
I realize I am not in the rat race and have no idea how stressed it can be getting to work and such, but how do you forget a baby?
Are these people also forgetting where they work or to put their shoes on?? Are they high on drugs or suffering from hangovers or are in the first stages of Alzheimer? I really see no excuse. Yes, it wasn't his routine, but how many of us are able to handle something outside of our routines without killing someone?

Well, I've got a 5 month old, plus two older kids. I haven't slept meaningfully in about 7 months now. I'm averaging 3-4 hours of sleep a night. A good night is 5 hours of sleep. And I'm not even talking about sleeping 5 hours in a row. There are days where I'm so punchy it's not really funny. And drinking mass quantities of caffeine isn't really even helping much anymore.

(And, before you say I'm a terrible mom because I'm not sleep training, the reason my LO is waking has NOTHING to do with sleep training. My LO has been army crawling for 3 weeks now, and is on the verge of regular crawling. LO is also teething something fierce, and is getting yet another cold. So, if I thought CIO would get rid of a cold faster, or help pain from teething, or making my child crawl already, I would do it in a heartbeat. I'd LO is actually a decent sleeper when not dealing with milestones and illness. )

Sure, I'd love to be able to quit my job so that I could sleep when my baby sleeps, but the alternative is that we'd try to support a family of five on 15K a year (That's gross income, not net). So, the choice is to either be poor/broke/on assistance or muddle through as best as I can.

There are some days that I am on automatic pilot and honestly I drive the wrong way and have no idea where I'm going or why I'm doing what I'm doing. I lose my train of thought pretty quickly too these days.

I'm not high nor do I have Alzheimers. I'm just sleep deprived.

[cronewitch]

They are advertizing on the radio not to forget the infant in the back seat. I would rather they suggested a method to remember like others have suggested. If you daily take a baby places you will probably remember but if you put it in the back seat then the baby is sleeping I can see forgetting. I have forgotten my purse in the car or my cell phone. I get home then maybe open the truck to get something or go talk to my ISO then totally forget I didn't get everything out yet.

I like the idea of leaving something on the front seat like a big pink bow or pacifier on your key chain or locking your purse in the trunk when you have the baby, when you have to open the truck you will remember why your purse is in there. Since men don't have a purse maybe you could give them a baby on board sign, leave it in the empty car seat then when the baby is in you put it on the drivers window by the lock or attach a big baby bottle to his key chain that can only be removed if the baby is not in the vehicle. They make a huge baby bottle piggy bank, he could leave that in the car to remind him.

[giramomma]

Sept 26, 2012 12:36:10 GMT -5 kgb18 said:

I've always been so paranoid if they're okay in the back that I'm constantly checking on them, talking to them, listening for them, etc.

I can't afford to have all of my attention on my kids when I'm driving. If I did that, there's a good chance we'd be in an accident, especially now that I'm driving in rush hour traffic.

But, I'm also not a kid checker either. I was never paranoid about SIDS or any of that.

[Opti]

Thanks for posting that article link kgb. I especially liked these two paragraphs, the first one really explaining those posters who veer from sympathy.


Humans, Hickling said, have a fundamental need to create and maintain a narrative for their lives in which the universe is not implacable and heartless, that terrible things do not happen at random, and that catastrophe can be avoided if you are vigilant and responsible.

In hyperthermia cases, he believes, the parents are demonized for much the same reasons. "We are vulnerable, but we don't want to be reminded of that. We want to believe that the world is understandable and controllable and unthreatening, that if we follow the rules, we'll be okay. So, when this kind of thing happens to other people, we need to put them in a different category from us. We don't want to resemble them, and the fact that we might is too terrifying to deal with. So, they have to be monsters."