midjd
Administrator
Your Money Admin
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:09:23 GMT -5
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SAHD
Sept 21, 2012 18:13:08 GMT -5
Post by midjd on Sept 21, 2012 18:13:08 GMT -5
I'm not sure we'll do the SAHP thing, but if we did, DH would be the obvious choice (both because I have higher earning potential and because he's the nurturing, warm/fuzzy type and I am not). I think there's a lot of weight to the theory that breadwinner wives are more interested in personal finance/investing and therefore drawn to this site. As long as there's grocery/mortgage money in the checking account, DH really couldn't care less about finances
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Deleted
Joined: May 1, 2024 14:30:49 GMT -5
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SAHD
Sept 21, 2012 18:19:24 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2012 18:19:24 GMT -5
I don't think it is all or nothing either. I think that our roles constantly change. You might be a SAHM for awhile, then go back or then maybe Dad will stay home for a period and then go back or you both may alter your schedules and so forth. It doesn't seem like a stagnant thing either way.
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econstudent
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 15:36:44 GMT -5
Posts: 2,288
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SAHD
Sept 21, 2012 22:06:32 GMT -5
Post by econstudent on Sept 21, 2012 22:06:32 GMT -5
All I know is that if I could make DH's money, I would be at work faster than he could say sahp. Lena This is sort of our situation, but reversed. DH would like to go to work and I would like to stay home, but my earning potential is roughly double his until he gets his master's degree. His income would hardly cover daycare, transportation, and increased health insurance costs, so it makes sense for him to stay home right now. If he can't find a grad school around here for next year, we'll have to re-evaluate so that he isn't out of the workforce for years on end, since staying at home isn't his long term plan.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
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SAHD
Sept 22, 2012 8:25:40 GMT -5
Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Sept 22, 2012 8:25:40 GMT -5
I think, if possible and both parties agree, that it's good for a parent to stay home and raise the kids but when the last one hits school, if not before, back to work you go. No reason for any grown adult to be dependent on another. The more I talk to parents of tweens/teens it seems like they value having a sahp even more than the toddler years. A toddlers needs are fairly straightforward and simple and can be hired out, but that isn't true of a teenager. I think there is a real value in having someone at home when the kids get home and just being available for face time on the rare occasions the older ones might actually want to share with mom or dad. For families who are going to do a long term sahs/p arrangement I think they really need to have a lot of open and upfront conversations about expectations/needs, and contingency plans in case of separation or divorce. on the teens needing SAHPs more than the littles AND on the need for lots of open and upfront conversations before staying home. The problem is, as was the case for us, sometimes you don't plan to stay home and then things happen and one of you ends up at home without any forethought or planning. Not ideal, mature people can make it work, but the conversations and the forming of the arrangement take place in real time.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
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SAHD
Sept 22, 2012 8:30:11 GMT -5
Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Sept 22, 2012 8:30:11 GMT -5
I'm currently struggling with this right now. I was an accountant before, and didn't understand how much it would hurt my career to take such a long break. I also didn't predict the economy would be in the crapper when I decided to return PT. Entry level jobs pay $10-$15/hr - and I'll lose 33% to taxes. Add in the cost of before/after care and care for two kids for all the school breaks and I don't think I'll even turn a profit. I'm now thinking I pretty much have to work for the schools (so I get the same calendar breaks) in order to actually make money. It's pretty limiting and frustrating. I also had a professional career. We didn't plan for me to stay home, and we spent the first 10 years of it in crisis, so I couldn't/didn't do the work to keep my skills and connections up. I am starting to think about going back to work, but it will be a nearly vertical uphill battle. So, unfortunately, I may have to change careers. SAHPs -- listen to the advice to keep up your skills and networking. It will be a challenge, but it will keep many more options open for you down the road.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
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SAHD
Sept 22, 2012 8:38:00 GMT -5
Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Sept 22, 2012 8:38:00 GMT -5
And as being a SAHD becomes as socially acceptable as women pursuing highly compensated, demanding careers. I live in a small suburban/rural community about 30 minutes outside a large city. While my experience is that most families here are headed by 2 working parents, there is a fair number of SAHMs. That said, standing in my driveway, I can see 2 houses where the husband/father stays at home with the kids. Within a half mile, there is a 3rd house. Within a mile and a half, there are a fourth and fifth. The mix in my town has allowed me to have some interesting conversations with my kids about how many options there are for families now, while also warning them that they shouldn't assume that every woman wants/needs to stay home like I do. ;D
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Deleted
Joined: May 1, 2024 14:30:49 GMT -5
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SAHD
Sept 23, 2012 22:01:38 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2012 22:01:38 GMT -5
My kids are grown and moved out, but I'd still like a SAHH to take care of me! it would be an absolute dream to have someone cook, clean and manager personal appointments and contractors. I feel like I have been on a high velocity run for 25+ years and I'm ready to slow down and let someone take care of me ;D
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tskeeter
Junior Associate
Joined: Mar 20, 2011 19:37:45 GMT -5
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SAHD
Sept 24, 2012 12:30:52 GMT -5
Post by tskeeter on Sept 24, 2012 12:30:52 GMT -5
Nope. The school bookkeepers I know work 12 months of the year, too. Only teachers, librarians, teacher support staff, bus drivers, cooks, and clerks who maintain things such as attendance reports are off during the summer.
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