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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 8:14:12 GMT -5
As for letting kids drink. My oldest son is 16 and i really don't see myself allowing him to drink in my home. But, again, it depends. If he is 19 or 20 ( our legal age is 21) and working as an adult and taking care of himself or in the military i might allow him to do so in my home.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 8, 2012 8:34:38 GMT -5
How often? How much? Have they ever seen you drunk? What are your feelings about it? It seems opinions vary wildly on this. Lest anyone think I am asking this to justify a major binge after the Babybird arrives... I can't even remember the last time I've been drunk Just curious to hear what all of you think. In the last year or so, I've started drinking again. My kids are 4 and 2.5. Most of the time, it's a beer or wine after they're in bed. But sometimes I have a beer in the afternoon on weekends or with dinner. They don't seem to notice and I'm not worrying about it. If I or DH was getting blitzed on a regular basis, yes, I'd worry about it.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 8, 2012 8:46:42 GMT -5
For some unknown reason- seriously no one knows why- my brother is obsessively, freakishly anti-alcohol. Like my dad opened a bottle of wine at Thanksgiving and DH and some relatives were having a beer and DBro flipped out. Made this grand speech about how he was leaving and not coming back because we were all horrible people for drinking. Gave his children this huge goodbye hugs and had them crying because they didn't understand why their dad was abandoning them at grandma and grandpa's house. His wife was scolding him and telling him to grow the hell up that no one was acting inappropriately, etc. Drama I tell you. Then over Memorial Day weekend after my nephew's birthday my BIL, a couple friends were each having a beer and my sister opened a bottle of wine so her MIL could have a glass. She asked my SIL (married to the idiot I just mentioned) if she would like a glass. She said "Yes, your brother said I was allowed an occasional glass of wine" Around this time her daughter tries to come up from the playroom to talk to her mom and my brother blocks her on the stairs and tells her she isn't allowed to talk to her mom. So she starts bawling, her brother starts freaking out because their mom is drinking. My brother is doing that whole "sometimes mommy's make bad decisions thing" and yelling "I told you never in front of the kids!" Drama I tell you.
That's not the impression we give our son. We tell him about DH's childhood and why we don't typically drink. We have explained that social drinking is fine but that losing control is not smart. Mostly we don't drink because it's so out of habit that we don't have booze in the house and I am too cheap to be spending money on stuff I won't remember to drink anyway.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 8, 2012 9:01:12 GMT -5
My dad let me drink at 20 at special occaisons around him. The big one was my cousin's wedding reception a month before I turned 21. After he took my Grandma home, he told my BIL and sister to buy me booze. I let my 20 year old niece have a drink at a wedding last year. Of course what she didn't tell me is that she is kind of allergic to alcohol and drank the glass of wine too quickly and threw up. Uh oh! I felt SOOO BAD. Of course her dad is an alcoholic (in recovery) and I don't think he was too thrilled that I let his daughter drink (her mom has issues as well). I can see myself letting DS drink at 19 and 20. Maybe sips younger than that. I don't want our house to be the house where kids think they can drink in high school. So, no drinking in high school.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jun 8, 2012 9:48:37 GMT -5
For those of you with kids, do you plan to let them drink under your roof once they turn 18 (which apparently is legal as long as you have parental supervision)? I definitely do. It's ridiculous that the drinking age is 21. I will allow them to taste a drink when they ask, but just one sip. I will allow them to have a small drink at home starting about 16. Last year my DS (19) and his GF (19) were on vacation with us. They asked if they could have some of our alcoholic beverages. They had just finished their first year away at college, and I think it is best to drink responsibly rather than hide it and binge drink, so I let them have what they wanted (maybe 2 each?). Two rules - don't drive and don't get caught.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 8, 2012 11:29:34 GMT -5
I do wonder about kids who grow up seeing adults drunk constantly (but aren't being abused or neglected by them). When we go to DH's aunt's house, especially during the holidays, most of the adults are in some state of inebriation most of the time. But there's always someone sober enough to drive, make sure the kids aren't killing each other, keep everyone fed, etc. DN seems to get a kick out of everyone being silly but she's still so young. Every teenager in that house has been drinking and/or smoking pot since they were in their mid-teens. So....
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Jun 8, 2012 12:03:18 GMT -5
We let DS drink a little when he was in high school (about 16 or so). I drink at home occasionally, and DH has a beer or two in the evening, but we rarely drink more than a couple of drinks or beers.
DS's dad was an alcoholic and my family are all active or recovering alcoholics, so I'm kind of sensitive about drinking to get drunk.
When DS was in college he saw way too many kids that did stupid stuff while drunk or on drugs. Since he was an EMT and volunteer firefighter, he decided not to drink other than an occasional beer or drink.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 8, 2012 12:09:23 GMT -5
Made this grand speech about how he was leaving and not coming back because we were all horrible people for drinkingI'd so be tempted to bring out the funnel and do keg stands at that point. .
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2012 12:30:56 GMT -5
I do wonder about kids who grow up seeing adults drunk constantly (but aren't being abused or neglected by them). When we go to DH's aunt's house, especially during the holidays, most of the adults are in some state of inebriation most of the time. But there's always someone sober enough to drive, make sure the kids aren't killing each other, keep everyone fed, etc. DN seems to get a kick out of everyone being silly but she's still so young. Every teenager in that house has been drinking and/or smoking pot since they were in their mid-teens. So.... I also wonder about those who have had no exposure to alcohol. I dated a guy whose parents did not drink and did not allow alcohol in their house. He was a drunk. I'm pretty sure he still is.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2012 12:31:18 GMT -5
Made this grand speech about how he was leaving and not coming back because we were all horrible people for drinkingI'd so be tempted to bring out the funnel and do keg stands at that point. . You and me both. Or at least say, "I'll drink to that."
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 8, 2012 13:12:41 GMT -5
I also wonder about those who have had no exposure to alcohol. I dated a guy whose parents did not drink and did not allow alcohol in their house.
In our house we'll be shooting for a happy medium. I want to be able to have a drink in front of my kids without anyone hitting the roof but I don't need them to regularly see partying and excessive drinking even if they're not being directly harmed by it.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 8, 2012 14:11:29 GMT -5
Made this grand speech about how he was leaving and not coming back because we were all horrible people for drinkingI'd so be tempted to bring out the funnel and do keg stands at that point. . You and me both. Or at least say, "I'll drink to that." That's pretty much what happened. DBro started acting like an ass so everyone over the age of 21 quickly asked for a beer or a glass of wine. My brother is a super hippie so the extended family loves teasing him. There were probably 40 people at my folks house that day for Thanksgiving. It went from 3 guys in the basement having a beer and my dad opening a bottle of wine to 25 people with drinks in their hands in about 5 minutes because of his temper tantrum little snit ;D
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 8, 2012 15:37:51 GMT -5
Unreal. Looks like someone forgot his manners!
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 8, 2012 19:17:00 GMT -5
My family would warn him that if he acted out again, he wouldn't be welcome to the next holiday. Sorry. Really? In my family comedy gold like that would be invited to every party. We're a little white trash though, so we expect and appreciate inappropriate antics, drama, more off color remarks than you could shake a stick at, and it's not a real party unless somebody gets a bit too tipsy and does something stupid or shares something that should have remained private.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 8, 2012 19:42:59 GMT -5
OMFG can I come too?!?!?!?!??!?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 8, 2012 19:47:06 GMT -5
<<invites herself to Dark and Loop's next family gathering >> The more the merrier. I can only remember a few family events that didn't have at least a couple extras around. Friends, coworkers, one of my mom's strays... there's always extra folks around. At this point some of them have been coming to family events for years, so now they bring their spouses/kids, and half of us can't even remember how they joined the clan in the first place. Loop's family is a lot more like Nasgul's though. Kind of old school upper crust Connecticut. Very proper. Very courteous. Everything and everyone puts on the perfection performance. I love her family, but it's a totally different vibe. I'm more comfortable around her family when we do something more low key and everyone lets their hair down a bit.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2012 19:47:40 GMT -5
My family would warn him that if he acted out again, he wouldn't be welcome to the next holiday. Sorry. Really? In my family comedy gold like that would be invited to every party. We're a little white trash though, so we expect and appreciate inappropriate antics, drama, more off color remarks than you could shake a stick at, and it's not a real party unless somebody gets a bit too tipsy and does something stupid or shares something that should have remained private. <<invites herself to Dark and Loop's next family gathering >> ((wonders if Dark is my cousin))
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