kittensaver
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We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
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Post by kittensaver on Jun 7, 2012 17:37:05 GMT -5
Kiddos are grown now, but we did "social" drinking in front of them (wine with holiday dinners, cocktails or champagne at weddings). Our families must be a bunch o' lightweights because we've never had any drunken incidents at home or out at parties or family events. How boring are we???
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 17:38:32 GMT -5
In other countries, do they not openly drink alcohol in front of their kids? Is there some kind of notion that it is wrong to do so here?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 7, 2012 17:38:52 GMT -5
DH and I have been digging and leveling all day for the pool, I deserve it ;D Above ground or in ground?
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Jun 7, 2012 17:40:18 GMT -5
We drank in moderation around the kids. Once they were in high school they could taste the wine or beer if they wanted. They never saw us tipsy until they were in college and thought it was sort of funny. Once we even called them when they were in high school to come get us from a restaurant when were weren't really drunk, but thought we might be over the legal limit. We're not sure if that was modeling good behavior or not
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jun 7, 2012 17:41:10 GMT -5
You taught them not to drink and drive so you're good!
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 7, 2012 17:42:50 GMT -5
Is there some kind of notion that it is wrong to do so here? To me, it depends on the drinking. Having an occasional drink, a glass of wine with a nice meal, or whatever is perfectly fine. Sitting around chugging straight from a half gallon bottle of Jack, staggering around for a bit, maybe fighting with the spouse, before passing out in the living room (maybe vomiting on yourself somewhere in there on special occasions) is a whole other ball of wax.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jun 7, 2012 17:47:28 GMT -5
DH and I have been digging and leveling all day for the pool, I deserve it ;D Above ground or in ground? Above ground but our yard is slanted and one side is dug out four inches and the other side is dug out over ten inches, it sucks!!!
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 7, 2012 17:48:45 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure this is another memo that Tina didn't get... Trying to throw Tina under the bus to deflect attention from yourself huh? I'm on to you woman.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 17:54:59 GMT -5
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 7, 2012 18:01:50 GMT -5
I agree that getting drunk in front of your kids on a regular basis is a bad idea. Especially if they're really young. But yes, I have actually heard people express shock that any Good Parent would ever imbibe around their precious innocent babies.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 7, 2012 18:06:20 GMT -5
Because... they're your reason for getting up in the morning?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 7, 2012 18:08:00 GMT -5
I have no idea what you are talking about... Uh huh, and I suppose you're going to tell me that the bottle you're holding is olive oil or something? But yes, I have actually heard people express shock that any Good Parent would ever imbibe around their precious innocent babies. New parents are funny. Like children, they say the cutest things. Give it five or six years and those same people will be hitting you guys up to take their precious innocent babies off their hands for a weekend because they can't take it anymore. Those kids will be the reason that the parents drink.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 7, 2012 19:22:49 GMT -5
No kids (yet) but I will almost certainly be drinking around them... I like a beer or glass of wine after work, obviously abstaining during pregnancy/breastfeeding, but I don't see a reason to change that after kids. Other than a wine incident about 8 months ago, I haven't been drunk since law school. And I've never had a hangover. ;D I think it's good to model responsible drinking. The European model seems to work better... my mom would drink occasionally and let us have a sip. My sister and I didn't start drinking until we were legal, my brother at around 18, and none of us drink to excess as adults. DH's parents were the same way (DH was fetching beers at 18mos too ) and they all turned out fine.
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Post by maryjane on Jun 7, 2012 19:36:10 GMT -5
I don't have kids, but I usually ask my friends if they mind if I have a drink while eating out when their kids are around. None have said they mind. Some act like it is a silly question...I have a drink around their kids. Some ponder for a really long time and give a diplomatic answer about how it is okay because I will model responsible drinking....I don't drink around their kids.
ETA: I agree with Mid about modeling responsible drinking, I just take the pondering and diplomacy to mean I don't want you to drink around my kids, but don't think I have the right to stop you.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 7, 2012 19:45:09 GMT -5
For those of you with kids, do you plan to let them drink under your roof once they turn 18 (which apparently is legal as long as you have parental supervision)?
I definitely do. It's ridiculous that the drinking age is 21.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jun 7, 2012 19:51:58 GMT -5
I think our funniest drinking story involving the kids happened when the oldest was only four or five months old. At the time I was really fond of Jagermeister and Dr Pepper. You can mix that stuff almost 50/50 and it still tastes alright, which is how I liked to drink it. Anyway, there was a group of us hanging out and that's what I was drinking. Loop was having a little bit of mine, but didn't realize how much booze I'd put in, so didn't realize how much alcohol she was actually drinking. She breastfed our daughter, who spent the next half an hour giggling uncontrollably and falling over. She couldn't stand yet of course, but was normally pretty good at sitting up on her own. Instead she was sitting there staring at a TV that wasn't turned on, laughing her little baby butt off, then she'd fall over and start laughing even harder. It was such a parenting fail, but holy crap drunk babies are hysterical. This is the same one reading the book on quantum particles, right? No harm, no foul...maybe momma should have a shot of jaeger when breastfeeding more often! ;D
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 7, 2012 20:03:56 GMT -5
For those of you with kids, do you plan to let them drink under your roof once they turn 18 (which apparently is legal as long as you have parental supervision)? I definitely do. It's ridiculous that the drinking age is 21. I will allow them to taste a drink when they ask, but just one sip. I will allow them to have a small drink at home starting about 16.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 20:12:45 GMT -5
I agree that getting drunk in front of your kids on a regular basis is a bad idea. Especially if they're really young. But yes, I have actually heard people express shock that any Good Parent would ever imbibe around their precious innocent babies. My kids are the reason I drink... LMAO!!
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Jun 7, 2012 20:31:34 GMT -5
I think our funniest drinking story involving the kids happened when the oldest was only four or five months old. At the time I was really fond of Jagermeister and Dr Pepper. You can mix that stuff almost 50/50 and it still tastes alright, which is how I liked to drink it. Anyway, there was a group of us hanging out and that's what I was drinking. Loop was having a little bit of mine, but didn't realize how much booze I'd put in, so didn't realize how much alcohol she was actually drinking. She breastfed our daughter, who spent the next half an hour giggling uncontrollably and falling over. She couldn't stand yet of course, but was normally pretty good at sitting up on her own. Instead she was sitting there staring at a TV that wasn't turned on, laughing her little baby butt off, then she'd fall over and start laughing even harder. It was such a parenting fail, but holy crap drunk babies are hysterical. Doesn't seem to have done much damage ... Is that the one into Java at 10 or quantum particles at 11?
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Jun 7, 2012 20:43:38 GMT -5
We let our kids drink at home around 19 if they wanted. They did very little. The only absolute rule was that once they had a drink of any kind or amount, they were home for the night.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 7, 2012 22:50:20 GMT -5
Is that the one into Java at 10 or quantum particles at 11? The older one. By the time her younger sister came along we'd already learned our lesson about passing alcohol through breast milk.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Jun 8, 2012 7:53:20 GMT -5
DH and I didn't drink around our kids when they were younger - although not for any hoity-toidy reasons. We'd refrain because we didn't want DH's kids to go back and tell their momma that we were drinking. She's one of those people that even though she apparently has nothing against drinking, she'd hold it against us just to spit us. She's a very much "do as I say not as I do" type of ex - especially since she was living with a guy that drank all of the time. So to keep from hearing it from her, we'd just not drink around his kids when they were with us for the weekend. Once we got custody of them, we kept up with not drinking around them for the first several years. We had enough other problems with behavior and attitude issues from both them and their mom that adding the additional drama of social drinking in didn't seem like a good idea. About a year or two ago, DH's son asked us why did we suddenly start drinking? We finally loosened up around them and didn't refrain to when they weren't around. We explained to him exactly the reasons we had not done it before. I will admit that this past New Year's Eve, my son saw me drunk - it was the first time ever though and he's 15 (I'm 36). It was the first time I had ever been THAT drunk in my life - I'll never do that again!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 7:59:48 GMT -5
We usually have a drink when we go over to dinner at the in-laws, and DH and I occasionally have wine with dinner at home. I am paranoid that they are going to need stitches or something and that I'll be at the ER with beer breath, so I save my debauchery for after the kiddos go to bed.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 8:02:52 GMT -5
I was raised by an alcoholic so when my kids where youngers I basically banned alcohol from the house. I do not have happy memories of my mom and her girlfriends having a few glasses of wine and being silly...a few years ago I lightened up and started having wine and stuff around my kids. I figure that they need to know that an adult can have some wine in a responsible fashion. I
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2012 8:03:32 GMT -5
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 8, 2012 8:06:44 GMT -5
I think that DS (14) has seen me have a drink maybe half a dozen times in his life and maybe double that for his dad. We don't typically drink except DH will have an occasional beer after mowing the lawn or at a party. I think my last alcoholic drink was at the 2010 company Christmas Party and even then I only had one. My parents are not heavy drinkers and at my ripe old age of 36 I have probably seen them have a drink maybe a dozen times. Never have I seen them drunk. I have not been drunk since DS was born (in all honesty I have only been drunk I think 4 times in my entire life).
DH was raised by drunks. Like big parties every weekend, kids left to fend for themselves starting at young ages. He saw way way more than a 5 or 6 year old should ever have to see. As a result he modeled their behavior for a number of years and was on his way to being a full blown alcoholic while in college. When he met me he stopped drinking and smoking because I wasn't a fan of either. Now 16 years later he realizes how screwed up his childhood is. His mom has been married a number of times since his dad died when he was 5. All of her husbands have been drinkers and some were very abusive drunks. DH is determined to not have DS witness any of that so aside for the occasional beer he doesn't drink.
Would we let DS drink before he is 21? IDK. I know a few people who's parents let them drink at home starting in their teen years. It didn't work out so well for a lot of them.
We do talk to DS about drinking and why we personally don't drink.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 8:11:36 GMT -5
I think kids seeing adults drink alcohol in a responsible way is fine. And, i also think that seeing a parent blotto on some rare occasions isn't a problem either. My dad would always drink too much at the company picnic. It was a once a year thing and i guess we thought it was funny. And, I think it is better for parents to just be open and honest and to let kids see that adult human beings aren't perfect and that we all are mix of good and some flaws. But, growing up in an alcoholic home is obviously a bad thing for a child. So, yeah, an occasional drunkfest from a party or whatever, no biggie. But, if it is more frequent than that, it becomes a problem of really modeling bad behavior.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 8:12:09 GMT -5
I am on the fence about letting them drink at home while underage. I don't know if my crazy 20's were because I never let loose back in High School. We were allowed to drink underage at home when we came home for college breaks, but not while in HS. I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
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Taxman10
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Post by Taxman10 on Jun 8, 2012 8:13:31 GMT -5
I agree that getting drunk in front of your kids on a regular basis is a bad idea. Especially if they're really young. But yes, I have actually heard people express shock that any Good Parent would ever imbibe around their precious innocent babies. My kids are the reason I drink... Drinking is the reason I have kids.....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 8:14:10 GMT -5
Me too!
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