zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 7, 2012 10:34:03 GMT -5
My moms stepsons wife has had another baby. She sent me an announcement. I don't want to send a gift because she is almost as awful as her husband but the baby is innocent in this. DF says to send a card and write good wishes in it and call it good but I feel so guilty. Even my aunt who hates their guts is sending twenty bucks. What should I do?
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Jan 7, 2012 10:39:58 GMT -5
Can you afford to send a little ?
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Post by bluecluessubtlety on Jan 7, 2012 11:17:17 GMT -5
Your best wishes for the baby is all that is necessary. I don't know the back story but if there's no relationship with parents just send a card.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 7, 2012 16:22:55 GMT -5
That's what DF says to do. It isn't that I can't afford it, it's that they are pariah and for good reason. I have zero relationship with them and wish for none. Same with the rest of the family except my mom who tries unsuccessfully to include them. But it seems mean to give nothing to the baby.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Jan 7, 2012 18:49:44 GMT -5
No, it isn't mean. An announcement is just information.
It's up to you what to do with the information.
If you feel you must send something, get something from Goodwill. They have new or look like new items.
Or, send a child's book.
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Jan 7, 2012 18:52:02 GMT -5
Don't send money. Send a small baby gift, nothing expensive. You can pick up something for the baby for under $10. My favorite inexpensive baby gift is a picture frame, bought on sale at Kohl's or TJ Maxx.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jan 7, 2012 18:55:03 GMT -5
I don't think the baby will care (Assuming the parents have enough to provide it with diapers, food, clothing, etc.)
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Jan 7, 2012 19:25:24 GMT -5
I think just sending a card is fine. if you want to send something... maybe find one or two cute children's books and write a small note to the child.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 7, 2012 19:33:40 GMT -5
My aunt decided to send nothing after all except an email card. I will send a regular card but that's it.
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Frappuccino
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Post by Frappuccino on Jan 9, 2012 20:57:45 GMT -5
Good idea to just send a card. I am done with the psychos in my extended family. I will not go out of my way for them any more.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Jan 9, 2012 20:59:24 GMT -5
I agree that a card is all that is necessary. I also think if you do decide to send some sort of a gift, you should purchase something small and not send cash. I would be concerned the cash wouldn't actually go to the baby.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2012 13:16:09 GMT -5
There's that. I considered buying diapers but they chose to have another baby with all the drama in their lives. The two they already have reflect the drama and the public schools won't take them without hassling the parents so they actually found a desparate private school that would. Love to know how they are paying for that.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jan 10, 2012 13:20:50 GMT -5
I agree, sending a card should be enough.
I intended to create birth announcements but never got around to it. If I had, I wasn't even expecting to receive cards back, it was merely going to be a way for me to show off my new little guy.
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Clever Username
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Post by Clever Username on Jan 10, 2012 13:59:29 GMT -5
My moms stepsons wife has had another baby. I see you are (consciously or subconsicously) verbally distancing yourself from them. Most would use the more conventional phrase "My brother had a baby." I'm guessing you are looking for permission to not send them a gift. Permission granted.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Jan 10, 2012 15:58:08 GMT -5
Same here. I never sent any announcements out, and I was so overwhelmed at how generous people were. We received gifts from people that were totally unexpected. Of course I don't think people who know us look at us like a train wreck that should have refrained from procreating due to all the drama.
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gavinsnana
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Post by gavinsnana on Jan 10, 2012 16:09:03 GMT -5
My moms stepsons wife has had another baby. She sent me an announcement. I don't want to send a gift because she is almost as awful as her husband but the baby is innocent in this. DF says to send a card and write good wishes in it and call it good but I feel so guilty. Even my aunt who hates their guts is sending twenty bucks. What should I do? Send a congrats and a gift card (small).. be the bigger person
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2012 17:28:35 GMT -5
Mom married a loser who married her for a home for himself and his kid. He was living with a 3 year old in a car. The only reason he didn't lose the kid was because the mother was in jail for drugs and prostitution. In the years, he lived off my mom and his kid did the same. The kid is nuts like his mother and used to verbally and physically attack my mom while her his and just stood by and said my mom provoked the kid. The Marines took him for some unknown reason and then he got in a fight with his wife and tried to hang himself. Of. Purse, where she could see it and get help. The service discharged him and are actually paying him disability as opposed to just kicking his ass out. Then he starts breeding like a rabbit and she starts one degree after another, running up school loans. Their family life and marital life is drama city, to say the least. They Re not welcome to any family gatherings much to my mothers embarrassment. Of course we'd like to exclude her husband as well but unfortunately, we can't. He has several domestic disturbances against him but managed to get a job being a prison guard. That's all we need, a nut with a gun in his hands. Legally.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2012 17:29:42 GMT -5
Sorry for the wierd posting. Getting used to the iPad.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2012 17:30:31 GMT -5
Sent a card. I am still furious with my mother for even giving out my address to them/her.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2012 17:31:21 GMT -5
It's not she doesn't know how the whole family feels about her husband and his kid and their family but because he pressures her, she gives in.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 10, 2012 17:32:07 GMT -5
Plus, the ONLY reason I got an announcement is because they thought I was good for an expensive gift.
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