Tues 1/18 Question - Is Gift Giving Obsolete?

[Deleted]

I thought of this because of that "return the gift before you even get it" service. Isn't something wrong with the whole concept when we get to that point?

Seriously. It used to be (in my family at least) that we would hold off and get the bigger items at Christmas or on our birthdays. It doesn't seem like anyone does that anymore. When the occasion comes I have a hard time figuring out something folks want, let alone anything they may need.

I have stopped giving gifts on many occasions and no one seems to notice. Don't get me started on kids and toys. They get soooo much they don't even remember if I did or did get one of those things. For Christmas I only exchange with about 7 people. And half of them I pretty much get them to buy their own thing.


So with all this in mind, can't we do away with some of these forced gift giving occasions?

[Deleted]

Jan 18, 2011 11:22:07 GMT -5 @justaposter said:

When the occasion comes I have a hard time figuring out something folks want, let alone anything they may need.

I only give to family and close friends. I know them well enough to KNOW what they may want or need.

Jan 18, 2011 11:22:07 GMT -5 @justaposter said:

So with all this in mind, can't we do away with some of these forced gift giving occasions?

I don't have any " forced gift giving occasions".

I give gifts because I want to... not out of any obligation.
And I have never bought into hype and hoopla, or indulged in excess, even with my own kids.

[mommax4]

I have a pretty large family, and we only give/get gifts on birthdays or Christmas. I can't really think of any other yearly occasions where we would give a gift (excluding weddings/baby showers). Since we tend to only give gifts to immediate family (siblings, parents, grandparents at Christmas), maybe that cuts down on that?

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

but ..... but ..... but .... I LIKE PRESENTS!

[Deleted]

See in my family we are starting to buy things for each other just whenever if we come across something they haven't gotten for themselves yet. Christmas has just become too much pressure.

Christmas was losing it's luster for me with the introduction of Gift Cards. But this latest thing where they call to tell you what someone is getting you and you can exchange it before it is even delivered...that sucks. I've never really been a fan of returning gifts anyway, unless it was to get the right size.

[Deleted]

So with all this in mind, can't we do away with some of these forced gift giving occasions?

I totally agree with you. I will say that I'm not a huge believer in giving a bunch of gifts to anything but children. Then there are the "kind of" friends that give gifts that I feel are inappropriate. My wife has a friend like that. We received a gift card for $100 last Xmas. She has been in our house exactly twice. Just stupid.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I can definitely see the points that are being made. We don't exchange gifts with anyone at Christmas or other traditional occasions, really. And my wonderful DH doesn't like presents, so I never get him any. Over the years, we've come to put less emphasis on my birthday and our anniversary as gift-giving occasions and now we just talk about what joint purchase we want to make.

[Deleted]

Jan 18, 2011 14:21:47 GMT -5 @oldtex said:

I totally agree with you.

Just let me read this part a few more times.

[bobbysgirl]

We'll get rid of gifts, then Christmas, then the reason for Christmas. And bingo, we're right where we need to be. The only remaining rememberance of God in society, gone. The big picture isn't pretty.

[rubyslippers]

Like Luann, I give to my family knowing what they can use. I like watching them open presents and I buy them throughout the year when I get a rock bottom deal, so there's no pressure on me. For my sons and DH, I usually buy a few things they can open and supplement with giftcards and that seems to work out fine.
I hate to see the real meaning of Christmas diminished and yes, it has become so commercialized over the years.

[Deleted]

We'll get rid of gifts, then Christmas, then the reason for Christmas. And bingo, we're right where we need to be. The only remaining remembrance of God in society, gone. The big picture isn't pretty.

Maybe that's true but on the other hand 2 days after Xmas you can usually score the same gift for about 40% less than 2 days before Xmas. Also don't forget that the Holiday Christmas is a combination of a Christian Holiday & one of another religion that was in place long before Jesus was born. I for one don't feel that buying a child an Easy Bake oven is in any way a celebration of Jesus or God, but that's just me (I guess). Maybe some people do feel closer to their maker by buying an Easy Bake oven?

[Artemis Windsong]

I like the gift card idea either for restaurant, groceries or shopping the after Xmas sales.

I tend to buy the same thing for all of my teenaged grandchildren when I find something reduced price. One posted the item on her facebook page this year and blew it for 2 others.

I have given checks. Some were cashed, others I had to remind. Some were cashed and the parent took the money for later. My DS accidentally found a 4 ft high stack of cards with money in them that his DW had stashed. He cannot say anything about finding the hiding place.

I don't know what to do. This year I'm thinking mechanix gloves for the 8 guys but then there is the size issue.

[motherto2]

I totally know how you feel about those that don't mean much to you and what kind of gifts you "should" get them. I understand when someone is having a baby but when they have a second one not even 2 years later, what else do they need? Back in my day, you had a shower for the first baby, but no others. Now it's hard not to give money for everything that rolls around at the office.

I give mostly to family (parents, kids, niece, grandmother and one aunt) and a couple of friends, and that's it.

[lurkyloo]

I love giving gifts! I think I mostly enjoy giving more than I enjoy getting presents, even. I like the challenge of trying to put myself in someone else's place and figure out what would enrich his/her life...it doesn't always work, but it's very satisfying when it does. Examples: FIL, who loves to garden and loves to do things for MIL, got three blueberry bushes (MIL's favorite fruit) with ripe or nearly-ripe fruit on them for his birthday a couple of years ago. SIL's former flame liked to read the classics and was taking beginning Italian, he was reportedly both touched and delighted to receive a bilingual copy of Dante's Inferno. DD (dear Dad) is an emeritus professor who thinks best using an old-fashioned blackboard; I ordered him a big one for his home office last year. DD and DMIL both love books and have similar taste to mine in what constitutes a good read; their Christmas presents often involve examples of tried-and-tested new authors, or the latest from an established favorite.

When I'm permanently out of good ideas, or someone takes me aside and tells me I'm consistently and completely missing the mark, maybe I'll stop. But more likely I'll just triple-check to make sure everyone has gift receipts.

[cronewitch]

I like giving and getting gifts when used as an act of charity. Young adult children for example are often given really nice gifts from parents and others while only giving what they can afford. A parent can then gift them something like a washer and dryer that thrills the young adult and other family might give them grocery store gift cards and clothing that without the occassion would be ackward to give.

My older brother had a big bunch of kids they liked cheap, yard sale clothing for the kids and yard sales don't have much in the way of socks, night gowns or underwear. Mom went to see them in Germany when the kids were little and gave them clothing. One little one wet his pants twice so he got to wear all his three pack of underwear the first day. New clothing was a major treat for the kids. So I sent them all pajama one year and another assorted small toys and all different sizes of socks. Mom one year sewed them all sweats and used to send them coats. One year I send 6 kids and the parents each gift certificates for a national fast food restaurant so they could enjoy an outing. Another year I send them a bunch of 2lb blocks of cheese and big summer sausage so it was a cheese and meat gift that had plenty for everyone.

Having an occasion like Christmas means they don't expect anything the rest of the year and it was fun to think they would be happy opening whatever they got.

It is fun to give people things they can't afford and when I was young and would get something from my parents like a vase with a $50 bill inside it made me happy.

Now we are all old even the kids are old, everyone has a house full of stuff. We get and give stuff nobody wants, nobody even wants gift cards or cash. Mom send me 2 $100 bills in my card but it wasn't special it just got spend on regular stuff. She crocheted me doilies, I don't use doilies, she gave me bath salts I haven't used and a carpet sweeper that is still in the box. I didn't open 2009's gift yet it is a decoration I don't really want, nice but don't want it.

I gave her stuff she didn't want or care about too don't even remember what I got her except a shirt,

Gifts for those of us who are middle aged or older with enough money gifts are a waste of time and money. My brother and I wanted to just stop but then fall back in giving again. He wanted a table I had a gift card for so I had it delivered to his house, he spent the same amount on a set of sheets for me. I didn't want a set of sheets, I had a set so these are waiting unopened for when I want more. They are exactly like the one's we have same store same exact set from Costco. We could just get each other a $100 gift card to COSTCO and be done with it but that doesn't seem better than nothing.

[readsalot]

Now we are all old even the kids are old, everyone has a house full of stuff. We get and give stuff nobody wants, nobody even wants gift cards or cash.

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I kind of feel this way about gift-giving between us & my in-laws & my Mom , etc. Our teens still REALLY appreciate everything and also of course, our young nieces and nephews. I do have to say though that the nieces and nephews have SO MUCH, SO SOON in life that they are likely to not care about the things they get as much in my opinion. I figure if my niece has an IPod touch and her own cell-phone @ age 11, what are they going to buy her @ 13, a car? lol

[family legacy]

This year we gave a gift certificate to a restaurant for my DH's grandparents for Christmas. They got us the same thing...to the same restaurant!!! The 4 of us are going to redeem them at the same time for a dinner together. That will be the real Christmas present. We don't spend enough time with them as it is. I think it's time to stop the gift giving between adults.

[Deleted]

Jan 18, 2011 18:35:52 GMT -5 @bobbysgirl said:

We'll get rid of gifts, then Christmas, then the reason for Christmas. And bingo, we're right where we need to be. The only remaining rememberance of God in society, gone. The big picture isn't pretty.

Not at all. DH and I don't buy for each other. Family is scattered all over and doing well and we don't buy for them, either. My parents (age 80) are thrilled that we make the 2-day drive to visit them for a week or so every Christmas. They don't need or want more Stuff. This actually allows us to observe the religious significance of Christmas without all the material and financial trappings.

Last week, though, my SIL and I got together and bought $200 worth of baby formula for our new great-niece; she survived open-heart surgery less than a week after birth and the doc recommended formula with extra iron. She also needs more calories than the average baby. Parents have modest income; my niece is a SAHM and her husband is a fireman. It felt good to be able to do that.