naturallyfrugal
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Joined: Dec 22, 2010 21:52:01 GMT -5
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Post by naturallyfrugal on Jan 7, 2011 18:16:18 GMT -5
I am applying to smaller companies - I am applying everywhere, that's why it's so depressing. If I wasn't putting myself out there, I wouldn't care so much that I'm not garnering much interest. As an English major, I did take some education classes (but did not major or minor in education) and did student teaching for one semester (but in a 4th grade class, not high school) and I did like it. But, that is a good idea to give subbing a try....thanks!
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Post by BeenThere...DoneThat... on Jan 7, 2011 18:22:19 GMT -5
<<< I don't get Unemployment since we moved for my husband's job rather than losing my job and I'm very lucky that my husband makes enough for me to be at home, but my income (if I had it) would absolutely help us save more (retirement, college) and have more "extras." Is there anyone else out there that has become a SAHM, SAHD, SAHW, SAHH because of some unexpected circumstance (job loss, illness, etc...)? Are you happy with it? I think of myself as Unemployed, rather than SAHM. >>> ...been there... done that... will admit that it feels better to identify oneself as a SAH rather than unemployed... will also admit that it's always better to find the silver lining of every situation...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2011 18:49:44 GMT -5
LilBit-I will admit that sometimes I still haven't come to terms with it. I still get angry that I am the one who had to give up my dreams. I love my kids but I never wanted to stay home with them. I am doing better now that I have FINALLY graduated and have a degree (5 colleges later). I still dream of having my own classroom some day, but for now I am ok with just working part time as a substitute teacher. I definitely still haven't come to terms with it. It's fairly new to me, and I don't have kids (just had a misscarriage). So, I'm working.....and I'm keeping a job that truthfully, I hate. I love WHAT I do, but not WHO I work with. It's beginning to become a huge issues between us, because I bring my work home with me, and it's putting a strain on our relationship. I feel stuck and sometimes a bit resentful because I feel like my life is on hold for him to finish his career. It's something that we're currently battling with, and we haven't quite figured out a fix. I know for me, it's a mental thing...because I don't feel lin control of my life. My life is controlled by the military and DH's assignments. It's a good thing in some ways, but I've always wanted my career. I've always wanted to be in law enforcement....I went to college for a degree tailored to forensics, and busted butt to prove myself when I got my position. At this point, I feel like I'll never get back to it. Age is a bit thing in that field. My certs have lapsed, and I'm working a desk job where I'm not using my skills. My degree is going "stale" from not being used....and unfortunately, I left a department while under contract because of the new assignment. It's hard. I don't know the solution to it. @ the OP - What about looking for a part-time job outside of your son's preschool and outside of your field? It isn't ideal I know...but it would get you out of the house. When I first moved out here with my DH (then DF), I took a position helping out training horses. It's DEFINITELY not in my field, but I love horses and it was something to do. It didn't take care of the feeling of contributing/not contributing, but it did occupy me
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Post by kristi28 on Jan 7, 2011 19:59:28 GMT -5
I became a SAHM about a year ago due to the illnesses of our parents. After a stroke almost two years ago (DH side) and two cancer diagnoses (my side), we weren't able to help out our parents with both of us working. DH earned more than I did, and the finances worked out so there I was.
Honestly, many days I liked it, but certainly not all. I cried when I gave notice at work, and I am not usually a crier. I knew how much I was giving up (I was tenure track at a university) and some days spending my time with a toddler was enough to make me want to pull out my hair. All of it. By the roots.
I now work part time (an evening class, two day/wk). It is a much better situation for me, and most days I am happy with it. I am less stressed and I definitely feel like I can do a good job of being a wife, mother, daughter, and teacher. I used to feel like I was doing a carpy job at everything, as it was more than I could handle.
I still miss my old job and the dreams that I'll never achieve (you don't go back to tenure track), but I try to remember all of the non-financial contributions that I am making now. I've been my daughter's primary PT person and we've gotten her graduated to needing braces only. The stroke victim is living "at home" and doing as well as can be expected. I am more available if help is needed for the next round of chemo.
Doesn't always make it seem worth it, but I try to remember that none of my fondest memories of my relatives have anything to do with them working. Hugs to all the others who struggle with it. No real answers here either.
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Post by bobbysgirl on Jan 7, 2011 20:29:35 GMT -5
Last night, I looked online for information regarding teacher certification for professionals who want to change careers and teach. There's a local school where I can take the necessary classes and tests to teach business classes in high school. I thought that would be nice since I would have (roughly) the same school schedule as my son.
OMG I forgot to tell you, VA has a career switcher's program for teaching. MY DD did it. If you are in Hampton Roads area look into Chesapeake. They love career switchers. Very little needs to be done to qualifycif you have a BS, BA. I know VB does it too. Now I'm excited for you!
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Post by dragonfly7 on Jan 8, 2011 2:00:17 GMT -5
I am a reluctant SAHW of 9 months but think of myself as Unemployed (entire business closed). I have done this willingly once in the past but only lasted four months before I got bored, got a job, and went back to college. I can relate to this. I'm not shy, just introverted, which works against me during job interviews for positions involving customer service. Being introverted doesn't make me bad at it. I just approach it differently. I would research what is normal for your area. The Virginia Workforce Connection has a pretty good statistical breakdown under "Accountants." www.vawc.virginia.gov/vosnet/drills/occupation/occdrill.aspx?session=occdetail_lms&geo=5101000000Finally, OP, are you involved in a church? If so, do they need anyone to serve on their Finance team or in the church office? My church had to cut its Administrative Assistant last spring, so a number of volunteers have taken over her duties during school hours under the direction of the Board Secretary. I currently give about two hours a week and a full day or two per month if there are any big projects, but I've now been asked to join our Finance team simply because I'm good with computers and our congregation has no accountants.
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suziq38
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Post by suziq38 on Jan 9, 2011 8:37:19 GMT -5
This message was deleted by the original poster.
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suziq38
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I love to save
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Post by suziq38 on Jan 9, 2011 8:54:17 GMT -5
If you think you would like to teach at the high school level, try subbing now. I think that this is a great idea. I became a sub around 5 or 6 years ago. It was really nice for several reasons. #1, I thought that I would like to teach high school. I discovered that I DIDN'T like to teach high school, I liked to teach middle school. #2 I did give ESL (English as a Second Language) a try. When I was a substitute, the adult school called me to teach for 4 hours. I loved it. Not only did they call me again several times a month, but they offered me a job. #3.Other departments offered me teaching positions at various middle schools. #4 I liked the flexibility of the job. #5 Yes, some days I wanted to work , but there was no work. Most of the time, i got several calls a week, if not every day. Teachers had my telephone number, so several would also call me personally. I liked it because I could say no whenever I wanted to, and I liked the challenge of being given a class plan and teaching a class for a day. Some days, there was no class plan, LOL. The middle school kids were also very funny and entertaining. I now work Monday through Friday from 8:30 until 12:00 Noon. I have every Friday off. I love my schedule. This is good because the state of California is going through some really bad times. Our school district has closed 3 elementary schools and laid of over 200 teachers. Those teachers get priority to substitute. Our school may be closed this June. I hope that this is not happening in your state. If not, and you would like to be a sub, there is an exam to take. Just ask any teacher or school district in your area. Good Luck. P.S. My DH's father lived with us for 7 years because of two major strokes. We had a part-time caregiver help us with the FIL. I loved caring for our kids, and they did not like daycare, so, I always picked them up as soon as I could. I knew that I was a better caregiver for my kids and FIL. Given our family situation, it was better that I worked part-time. It is a risk, because if you stay home too long, it may be difficult to get back into a career. Try to work in your field at least part-time. Reality: The people that were full-time SAHP's sometimes had difficulty finding work later. If money was not an issue, I would have stayed home, I liked being with my family, and watching my kids grow, helping all everyday. Back then, working at least part-time was a necessity. DH is making 3 times of what he used to make back in the 90's, and our house payments and other bills have decreased. The kids are grown, so we do not have to help them financially. We have only 6 years and our house will be paid off. I may be forced, due to budget cuts, to be a SAHW once again. I will welcome this for awhile, and then I may find something meaningful to do that will pay me a salary, part-time. I have always loved part-time work. IMHO, it was the best of both worlds.
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Post by jsjjkelly on Jan 12, 2011 11:04:52 GMT -5
I know for me, it's a mental thing...because I don't feel lin control of my life. My life is controlled by the military and DH's assignments.
Lilbit, this is me. We just moved again in October, and at this location, even though it's nice, the weather's awesome, etc, I just haven't settled in yet.
And where my husband is working now, it's not uncommon for them to go out of country every other month or so. So to be able to rely on him to watch the kids so I can get a job is not possible. So it's either after school care (which is $150 a week for 2 kids), or find something during the day. That, I have found, is practically impossible.
You are not alone in your thinking, because I'm there too! I only wish I had a job like you do!
Shawn in FL
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Post by desertmover on Jan 12, 2011 21:41:03 GMT -5
Naturally Frugal,
When I retired from the military I was initially a grateful SAHM. 6 months with the kids turned me into a reluctant SAHM. I don't know how my saint-of-a-husband has been a SAHF all those years.
I found my job by networking. A job that I interviewed for but then they decided not to hire the position, referred me for a different position which I took. You never know where the lead will come from!
Since going back to work, I miss the extra time that I had to get home improvement projects done, volunteer with Scouts, etc.
Are you (as you Naturally Frugal name implies) saving on household expenses by not working? Can you ease your guilt by calculating the decrease in expenses by not working and count that as a portion of your contribution to the household income?
Do you have entrepreneur interests? This may be a great time to start a small business.
Good Luck,
Mover
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Post by mtshastawriter on Jan 13, 2011 15:13:43 GMT -5
Why not work from home in some manner or another. There are many of us who can't work locally and find gigs online to do to make extra money. I highly recommend wahm.com and workplacelikehome.com to help weed through all of the offerings.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Jan 13, 2011 18:20:51 GMT -5
Consider starting your own business in accounting. Do you already know income tax? Too late for this year probably but you could get started soon.
I almost did this in the tax season of 1984 and know many self employed accountants and bookkeepers. I was told as a tax accountant you only need a sign and people will call.
I bought a magnetic sign for my truck that had my name CPA and phone number and offered accounting and tax and free pick up and delivery of records, and placed ads for the first of Feb.
I had trouble with the ad it didn't run and was bi monthly so running in April was no help. I took a job and gave up the idea.
My company I was working for was accounting and tax software and they gave me free software. I had been doing software support and tax analyst so was good at the software and a licensed CPA with about 17 years in public accounting.
My plan was to get mostly medical partnerships as accounting clients and offer free tax extensions to anyone who wanted one. I worked in a tiny CPA firm using my software and had a side business designing financial statements. The tiny CPA firm had many medical partnerships so I had already designed statements for them, they can be complex.
Specializing in medical partnerships would give me more tax clients with rentals and other problems. I live near a medical hospital with offices all around. So I would have a route to pick up and drop off records. I would work at home on my own schedule or at their office if I had to. Now with laptops and things it would be easy to take your computer to their offices.
Tiny businesses like a mom and pop sandwich shop would be easy to do once a month and quarterly payroll taxes and you might pick up paying the bills and payroll for them too.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jan 13, 2011 18:57:58 GMT -5
I agree that a CPA may be better than an MBA in this job market. But in No Virginia an MPA might be the thing to really make you stand out. Have you ever considered an MPA? It is also possible then to teach at colleges in public admim, state gov courses with an MPA. Just a thought.
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sbcalimom
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Post by sbcalimom on Jan 14, 2011 5:15:17 GMT -5
I think it can be hard to define what situation you're in sometimes. I know I have a hard time explaining mine to certain people. I'm sort of a SAHM but I also work.....I thought after DD was born I would want to be a SAHM full-time but after my maternity leave I realized that wasn't the case. I couldn't stand being stressed all the time about money and staying home with DD 24-7 was driving me slowly mad. I love her dearly but I needed some adult interaction without her involvement. Granted, I have a great job that is insanely flexible so I'm able to work between 15-20 hrs a week in the evenings and weekends when DH is home and still make a solid income. If I didn't have that flexibility I may completely change my tune and decide that being home with her full-time is better. I like to think I have the best of both worlds - I get to SAH with her all day and then go to work for a few hours. We don't have to pay for daycare which is great for our budget and I get to spend a lot more time with her than if I had a traditional 9-5 job.
I think the key is to think outside the box and find a balance between what is practical and what will also make you happy. You may not "have" to work, but if you want to then you should keep looking until you find something that works for your life.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2011 16:29:14 GMT -5
You are not alone in your thinking, because I'm there too! I only wish I had a job like you do!
Shawn in FL It does me no good, because I won't have this job after our next move. I'm familiar with the economy where I'm going, especially in public service (because it's next to the town I was an officer with)... so I know how long it's going to take me to find something there, IF I do. I'll likely end up waiting tables again or working in a dog kennel.
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mamasita99
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Post by mamasita99 on Jan 16, 2011 6:25:20 GMT -5
I'm with Snerdley on this, life is a cycle of seasons. I've been a sahm, went back to being a student mom, now I'm a working mom, in the future who knows? It's not just me anymore, so I adjust based on the needs of my family. When I was a military wife I too played 2nd place to the military, but it doesn't last forever. And I know that my contributions to the household were immeasurable. Just try to stay positive and find opportunity in your circumstances, and enjoy the ride!
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naturallyfrugal
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Post by naturallyfrugal on Jan 22, 2011 23:36:07 GMT -5
Thank you for all the responses - I apologize for not getting back sooner, I've actually been busy! I did have an interview this week with a headhunter, we'll see if anything comes of it......<fingers crossed> Snerdley - thinking of life as a cycle of seasons, is a great way to phrase it and it does make me feel better. I don't want to come across as ungrateful for being able to not have to work, it's just that I've always considered myself a "worker" and it feels weird. My son is in Pre-K all day and when he gets home, he likes to go to his playroom and have his own "quiet time" and asks for "privacy, please." It's cute, especially considering his dad and I are such independent, like our own space, kind of people. Obviously, he's not totally independent, but he doesn't need me like he used to. I do have some things coming up, which will require some time and I think that will help me. Again, thanks for all the responses - I really appreciate it!!
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