Is this true for you and how do you deal with it

[chiver78]

I don't know that I agree with "all evidence..." so much. I'd say that absolutely fits those that were raised to be humble and to appreciate all that they have, and to not have a huge ego about what they have accomplished. I've encountered many arrogant people in my life so far that fluff up their accomplishments and don't quite see where they have fallen short.

it does apply to me though - I've learned to listen more to the people in my life that I have helped than the voice in my head that says I've failed or come up short. I think if I can see the value in what I can do through the eyes of the person that appreciates it, I won't be so hard on myself.

[cronewitch]

I don't value my knowledge as much as other people do. I seem to think everyone knows what I know so it isn't special. Especially when working with people who know more than I know or about the same it seems everyone knows that stuff. My boss seems to have a greater appreciation for my worth, I find it hard to believe how much I am paid for how little I work.

[Deleted]

I'll agree. I am quick to say I'm not the "best" teacher in the world, but after I mentored a few, I did learn that I am certainly up there.

I am something of a perfectionist, which is ironic because I will quickly make an excuse for almost anyone except myself.

[bobosensei]

I agree with snerdley. I think people judge others more harshly than they do themselves.

[dancinmama]

Jul 4, 2011 17:40:53 GMT -5 @horatiolegrand said:

All evidence seems to indicate that people underestimate their own strenghts, while overrating those on the other side. We judge others by what they have accomplished, whereas we judge ourselves based upon how far we have fallen short of our potential capability.

How does anyone REALLY KNOW what someone else has or has not accomplished? I believe that all we can do is to compare ourselves to where we THOUGHT we'd be at each stage in life. Why am I doing better or worse than I thought I would be personally/financially or whatever area of life is important to you? What can I learn from what I have done or not done? I know it is human nature to compare ourselves to other people, but isn't it really a waste of time/energy?

[Deleted]

Experience is helping me with that. I agree with chiver in the sense that not everyone is like that. Many people in higher positions tend to "spin" what they have accomplished. The more I get to really know different people and the projects they work on, the more I realise my standards are higher than most. I get that from my dad. Now when I hear someone bragging about some kind of accomplishment and start feeling a bit insecure I see a picture of G. W. Bush announcing "mission accomplished" or Donald Trump bragging that The Apprentice is the Number One show on television....with males between the ages of 26 and 29.

[midjd]

Hmm, I'm really not sure. I do think some people judge others more harshly than they judge themselves, but I've also seen the opposite take place.

DH, for example - he is becoming a very good carpenter and has completed some really neat projects, but every post-project conversation goes like - "Wow, that looks awesome!" "Well, there's a little gap here I'm not happy with, and the board split a tiny bit when I put the last screw in..." He does improve with every new thing he makes, so I guess that self-criticism is better than just saying "That is awesome, I don't need to change a thing!"

It can go too far, though - people suffering from low self-esteem and depression from thinking "everyone else is better at X, everyone has more friends, a more fun life, etc."

[pig]

I don't underestimate my strengths. I've got a pretty good handle on what I can and can't do.

[sil]

Disagree. Over 50% of people believe they have above-average intelligence

Curious though - what's the source for the quote?

[sil]

Good points, and even support your math ;D but if both the hustler and the exec both believe they are of above-average intelligence, they probably arent underestimating their strengths.

I'll check out that book. My negotiating skills are improving, but I still have a lot of anxiety whenever I have to put them to use.

Then again, since my anxiety really seems to be all about feeling like I am not equal to the task, I suppose I have to agree that I instinctively underestimate myself when I have to negotiate for something, and it takes a lot of positive "self-talk" for me to project a more confident image.

[tiredturkey]

I keep a little Chinese proverb on my desktop that says, "Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own."

As for my strengths, I don't really perceive myself having any so I am absurdly thrilled when someone else thinks I do.

[Formerly SK]

Funny, I was just thinking about this today. An organization I volunteer with wants to do my bio in their next newsletter and I was thinking of what to tell them. I'm actually pretty proud of myself and happy with the person I've become. I'm not saying I don't have more room for growth but I'm very comfortable with myself and my trajectory....especially when I consider how amazingly stupid and immature I was in my early 20's.

[rovo]

Jul 6, 2011 17:14:57 GMT -5 @horatiolegrand said:

You will think I am math challenged, but maybe more then 50% of the people do have above average intelligence. Intelligence covers such a wide range. Consider some street hustler who lives on his wits then compare that to some business exec who has completely different skills. How would you get a good comparison of the intelligence of the two? Its like asking who is more physically fit, a gymnast or some master of yoga. It is comparing apples and oranges.

Don't confuse knowledge with intelligence.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

I always assume I am smarter then the other person.

I always know I am right, and my track record bears this out.

I always make the right decisions, and all my predictions bear themselves out.

I am referring to professional/career situations.

It helps matters when my CIO is am imbecile and the firm's general manager is completely lost. But I digress.

[kgb18]

I'm definitely my own worst critic. I've never really tried to change that.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

I'm definitely my own worst critic. I've never really tried to change that.


I agree. You suck.












LOL Just kidding....

[kgb18]

Thanks SF. ;D