Ever known someone with a gambling addiction?

[midjd]

This thread was prompted by several recent posts from a FB friend (he is my ex's brother, and I worked for his business for a while in high school).

The most recent post was a photo album entitled "Livin the Life", mostly pictures of chips (which mean little to me, I don't know if it's $100 or $10K) and very, very fancy hotel rooms. But in several of the pictures he is holding 6 stacks of hundreds, wrapped with the $10,000 wrapper His wife commented on the album "Where did it all go???"

DH's sister also worked for his business briefly and still babysits his kids - she says he talked about winning $75K about six months ago, but it's all gone now. Apparently he has quite the gambling problem, and has won BIG a few times, but also lost big, and ended up filing Chapter 11 on his family's business. According to SIL, the wife is at her wits end and about to walk out

Gambling seems like one of the most insidious addictions to me. I can't imagine the pain for everyone involved... especially if the spouse didn't find out until after the big losses started mounting up. And it seems like something that is very hard to beat (though I guess most addictions are).

Have any of you known someone with a gambling addiction? Are they "cured"? What did it take?

[debtheaven]

My sister's next door neighbor is a former gambler. I don't know the details but I know he has been going to GA (Gambler's Anonymous, like AA but for Gamblers) and his wife has been going to the support group for spouses / family. He apparently beat the habit but they both have been involved with GA and the family support group for literally decades.

[vonnie6200]

Jun 27, 2011 17:58:01 GMT -5 @debtheaven said:

My sister's next door neighbor is a former gambler. I don't know the details but I know he has been going to GA (Gambler's Anonymous, like AA but for Gamblers) and his wife has been going to the support group for spouses / family. He apparently beat the habit but they both have been involved with GA and the family support group for literally decades.

I am aware of several that filed bankruptcy and a couple that committed suicide

[debtheaven]

This message has been deleted.

[swamp]

I've known several, and represented a few, including a man who was traveling the state doing house burglaries for antiques to finance his habit. He had retired from one of the Big 3 automakers after about 30 years and had nothing but debt.

[TheOtherMe]

We have two small casinos here. Very few days go by that I don't read in the paper that somebody has been arrested for embezzlement and the money was gambled away.

It's very sad for the employer and the person who got addicted to gambling.

[Gardening Grandma]

I strongly suspect that my sister is addicted to day trading. She claims that she's making money, but I doubt it......

[Nazgul Girl]

We have several casinos in a major nearby metropolitan area, plus one across the border, and we have hard times here. There are plenty of people who are convinced that their troubles will be over if they go to the casino every day. About ten years ago, we had a police detective pull out his pistol and kill himself right at the table ( I think it was blackjack, but I don't remember anymore ). He had lost $ 50k that day. Other people pawn their tvs and such and go right to the casino and lose it all.

[cronewitch]

My nephew was stupid when younger. He had a nice one bedroom condo and a job but was sure he could make more money gambling. He was spending the condo payment money at casinos. Mom had loaned him the money for the condo and he got about a year behind. He moved out to live with a girl and avoided the family from shame. Finally mom had a meeting with him and his dad where they worked out a deal, redid the condo payments to add in the back interest and start again. He married the girl and lived in the condo again. His wife made him agree to limit gambling to only with family and never go in casinos again.

[stats45]

One of my best friends from high school ruined his finances and first marriage with online poker.

He won a lot at first and even made it to a television taped show. A little success gambling was the worst thing that could have happened to him. It was really sad to see.

[Deleted]

My FIL's neighbor is damn near destitute from online gambling. My husband says he always thought of him as the "rich" guy next door growing up, but now he has nothing and it's only a matter of time before they come after his farm. FIL figures he's lost close to 500K. Very sad.

[shanendoah]

So yes, having lived in Reno for 13 years, I've known plenty of people with a gambling addiction. Just like with any addiction, there can be many different causes.
If this is new and out of character behavior, the first step is to see a medical doctor. A change in brain chemistry (as someone else mentioned with a stroke victim) can impair a person's ability to control their impulses, which often leads to gambling problems. In those cases, medication is the biggest help, though counseling is good to.
If its not a specific medical problem, Gambler's Anonymous (also as someone else mentioned) is your best bet. They help provide counseling for the gambler and also have the spouse/child support groups that helps the family get through the issues.
For most people, it is not a period of "temporary insanity" and it takes a lifetime of discipline and hard work to avoid falling back in the habit.

[chiver78]

remember the short-lived MTV show "Addiction" ? a HS friend of mine taped an episode for his gambling addiction. I'm not sure if the episode was ever aired. he still plays poker, both online and in the casinos in CT. I have no idea how he's doing financially.

[midjd]

Chiver, I think I remember that show... wasn't there a pretty young kid on one episode? I think he was only 18. He would walk to the casino every night since he couldn't afford gas. At the end of the episode, he was going to GA and seemed to be back on track.

And there have been a few gambling addicts portrayed on Intervention - one was a certified genius who thought he could count cards, and lost his parents' house...

Thanks for the info, Shane - that is helpful. From what I know of my friend, this is probably not new behavior - he's always been an adrenaline junkie (fast cars, skydiving) and I think gambling is his new "high". I always assumed his money was from the family business - though I could never understand how he could afford to go through $40K-$50K cars the way he did - but for all I know, he could have been gambling for quite a while.

Though I don't enjoy gambling, I can see how easy it would be to get sucked into the downward spiral - thinking that if you just play one more game, you can win back all the money you lost... and the more you lose, the more you think you just HAVE to win to get back to where you were.

The saddest thing to me is that every time I'm at a casino around here (Vegas/Reno may be different) 99% of the patrons seem to be in their late 60s or older, and frankly don't look like they have much money to gamble away...

[Clever Username]

My mother-out-law is a gambler.

That's one of the reasons I refer to her as such.
I'm not sure how much is due to gambling vs. spending.
One of the triggers was her husband dying and years worth of unresolved grief.
Either that or he was able to keep her under control, then wasn't there to do it anymore.

First she spent through enough life insurance to last 50 years.
Next she sold a paid for house and bought a smaller condo on a mortgage.
A rich aunt paid off that house for her, but it was also later sold when she moved into a different, mortgaged condo.
Next she received an inheritance from that aunt which is now gone.

We had an intervention of sorts a while back, she'd spent through everything.
That stopped when she located another asset to sell, she sued the entire family to buy her share out of a vacation property.
She's burnt nearly every relationship she's ever had.

[TheOtherMe]

Jun 28, 2011 10:23:04 GMT -5 midjd said:

The saddest thing to me is that every time I'm at a casino around here (Vegas/Reno may be different) 99% of the patrons seem to be in their late 60s or older, and frankly don't look like they have much money to gamble away...

That is true around here also. I used to work in the accounting office in a few casinos in Colorado. On the coldest, snowiest day, there would be all these elderly people pulling their oxygen tanks going from casino to casino.

[TheOtherMe]

Jun 28, 2011 10:23:04 GMT -5 midjd said:

The saddest thing to me is that every time I'm at a casino around here (Vegas/Reno may be different) 99% of the patrons seem to be in their late 60s or older, and frankly don't look like they have much money to gamble away...

That is true around here also. I used to work in the accounting office in a few casinos in Colorado. On the coldest, snowiest day, there would be all these elderly people pulling their oxygen tanks going from casino to casino.

[TheOtherMe]

Jun 28, 2011 10:23:04 GMT -5 midjd said:

The saddest thing to me is that every time I'm at a casino around here (Vegas/Reno may be different) 99% of the patrons seem to be in their late 60s or older, and frankly don't look like they have much money to gamble away...

That is true around here also. I used to work in the accounting office in a few casinos in Colorado. On the coldest, snowiest day, there would be all these elderly people pulling their oxygen tanks going from casino to casino.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

You're never really cured of an addiction, you are always "recovering" from it. DH used to have a gambling addiction in his early 20's. He banned himself from ever setting foot in a casino because he knows it only takes one "big win" and he'll be hooked again.

You can't gamble even a little if you are an addict.

[tloonya]

My Mom is agambler. But I think she is in her right mind.
She is lucky. She wins every other time she goes and she has her limit on spending.
Casino sends her a $20 bonus money. She spends double what her bonus is.
She has that 'feelings' about the machines.
She says she knows which one is going to like her.
So far I do not see any problems. She is happy as a clam. Them both - her and her BF are just thrilled coming to my store after casine and telling us how well/bad they had done.

I don't know what to think of it...

[tloonya]

Jun 27, 2011 17:50:33 GMT -5 @toughtimes said:

Yes, I knew several. A mother of a friend skipped life-saving medicine to buy lottery tickets. I have never looked on lottery the same since. Another man in the neighborhood won the 6M prize with money...stolen from mom's store.

SIX MILLION DOLLARS?
Who cares where he got the money from...was Mommy mad?

[cronewitch]

My mom and brother and SIL like casinos but I don't think they are addicted. Mom was going almost everyday for a few years because she was old and it is easy. She was having hip issues and you can sit at a machine and don't need to walk far. She went to get out of the house since she was alone with no where to go except shopping. She said she spent less gambling than shopping and it was less walking. She had a gambling line in her budget and would take her budgeted amount at the first of the month and put back any that was left at the end and start over. She kept track of her YTD losses on the calendar in her kitchen and in August she was only down about 2K YTD.

She pretty much never goes anymore because she lives with my brother so isn't as lonely. They go and she goes along sometimes but not always, she doesn't drive. Her hip issues have pretty much been resolved so she is walking about a mile a day so she can walk to stores to shop when she needs to get out. She got a little cart to bring home what she buys. They buy the food and household stuff so she mostly buys chips and candy or nuts.

[sesfw]

Mom's house mate was a gambler. She was a WWII vet (POW) and had a monthly income of about $1200. The day she received the funds in the mail we had to get her rent and grocery contribution then or forget it for the month. She would go to a local casino and stay up for as long as it took for her to lose it all at the poker tables. Then complain how broke she was.

During Christmas season I counted the funds we had in the grocery envelope to decide on our holiday dinner with family, and the next day she took all the money to the casino. Boy, was I mad. Then she had the nerve to tell me I was causing her to stress out and gamble. Give me a break. She had been gambling since the war. About 6 months later they moved back to their home state and in their own place.

After mom died she had to pay for her own living expenses, and that cut down her gambling funds. A couple of months after that she was diagnosed with lung cancer and I found out that she was a he with a boob job.

I still don't understand why they needed to lie to me. But mom had lied to me about small things for as long as I can remember.

[Deleted]

My coworker goes to casinos all the time - and of course always "wins". He "wins" so much that he was foreclosed on last year and is always paycheck to paycheck even with his estimated 90-100k salary. What he probably does not realize is that he loses a lot of respect at work because of how we see him mismanaging his personal finances.

[april47]

Twice a year I get on a bus for a 3 hour trip to the casino in the next state. I take $100 and no credit cards. I think I have a gambling problem since I have the urge to keep going until I am broke and always wish I had my ATM card with me. When I get home, I am GLAD I didn't have my ATM card with me. It's lots of fun and I enjoy it but I will NEVER live close to a casino or take an extended vacation where there is one.