Am I supposed to love my job?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

ask before he kisses her



I see that getting old really fast.

[CarolinaKat]

MJ: Yeah pretty much. Then she whines about how AWESOME my DBF is. Um hello! He's MINE. Plus he meets only 4 requirements (tall, attractive, never been married, no kids)

DQ: yeah really. I don't think i could stand it!

[Firebird]

CarolinaKat, *boggles*

So basically she totally fails at the concept of "don't expect anything you can't offer yourself" as well as "don't make your standards too high"? Does she want to be alone forever?

Differences are okay, but having someone expect them to be in their favor (!) strikes me as the height of entitlement. I have a degree, for example, and DF doesn't but I would have seriously resented it if he told me that he would ONLY date women with degrees.

I like how she talks about how great YOUR DBF is - subtle AND classy, that one. At least you know he's safe, meeting only four out of her ten (LITERALLY TEN) requirements.

[Firebird]

F) ask before he kisses her

EVERY TIME?!

[tractor]

I used to really like my job, felt motivated to get ahead and really was doing exactly what I wanted to do right out of college. Fast forward 20 years and now it's pretty boring. My boss is great and I like everybody I work with, but it's still boring. I have paid all my bills, built up a nice retirement fund and have a great family. Now it's time to pursue something else. I can't continue on just to make money.

The reality is I will not quit my job until something else comes along, I still need to go to work and fulfill the obligations I have in exchange for getting a paycheck. I believe that following your passions is what retirement is for. If you want it bad enough, you will work long enough, and save enough to retire as soon as possible so you can follow your passion. Some people get to do it early, others have to wait 40 years to get there. I have a couple of friends that came from money and basically threw away a college degree to work at menial job waiting for the opportunity to live off of their inheritance. As far as I know they are still waiting, and there's a pretty good chance by the time it comes, it either won't be enough to live off of, or they will be too old to enjoy it. I'll take the hard road any day over waiting for a free pass off of another family members hard work.

[CarolinaKat]

Jun 23, 2011 19:36:53 GMT -5 Firebird said:

CarolinaKat, *boggles*

So basically she totally fails at the concept of "don't expect anything you can't offer yourself" as well as "don't make your standards too high"? Does she want to be alone forever?

Differences are okay, but having someone expect them to be in their favor (!) strikes me as the height of entitlement. I have a degree, for example, and DF doesn't but I would have seriously resented it if he told me that he would ONLY date women with degrees.

I like how she talks about how great YOUR DBF is - subtle AND classy, that one. At least you know he's safe, meeting only four out of her ten (LITERALLY TEN) requirements.

oh there are more than 10. I could only remember ten yesterday. She's a nice girl and a decent engineer and I like her company, but her 'list' of what she requires strikes me as someone who doesn't really SEE the real world. She was raised by a 'Tiger Mother' if I ever met one, so I'm sure some of this is partially due to her upbrining, although her brother is awesomely normal, so maybe not.

Oh, did i mention she also refuses to go out on dates if he can't be 'pre-approved' bymatching the majority of the qualities on the list. I actually had a guy that she would've really liked (he's a dollbaby, but not for me.... he's actually the type to ask prior to kissing ) so after a couple of months of complaining about being single I offered to set her up with him. She wouldn't go because he was the wrong political party. He met most of the other criteria (idk about the piano one) and SHE WOULDN"T GO! I gave up.

And yes. She expects him to ask for kisses every time until they are engaged.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

And yes. She expects him to ask for kisses every time until they are engaged.

Something tells me the relationship would not make it that far.

[Firebird]

And yes. She expects him to ask for kisses every time until they are engaged.

What the... why the fu... dear God in heaven. I would put up with that for about fifteen minutes (then again, I'm a huge fan of the sneak-attack kiss).

Why? I just don't get it. Am I missing something? What changes when they get engaged that he doesn't have to ask anymore?

[midjd]

Because by then he owns her, duh! Didn't you see the ring?

To be fair, when we started dating, DH always asked if before kissing me - but that's because we were 14 and he was shy

[swamp]

Jun 24, 2011 8:49:23 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

And yes. She expects him to ask for kisses every time until they are engaged.

Something tells me the relationship would not make it that far.

So much for spontaneous sex..................

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

What changes when they get engaged that he doesn't have to ask anymore

You're hoping he'll get so desparate to kiss you without permission that he'll propose and now you have trapped him?

[CarolinaKat]

LOL everyone. I don't know the answer. Maybe she's still 14 and shy mentally? Or DQ could have it, ENTRAPMENT.

I personally think she expects to get engaged in some crazy short amount of time (couple of months) and have a LONG engagement (over a year), so it's reasonable in her head

[Tiny]

Sounds like she's got left over "mother issues" from her childhood - if you are right about her having a "Tiger Mom". Her list of requirements is a great way to avoid the conflict she'd have (or perceives she'd have) if she were to bring home a man for mom's approval. OK, she's not really bringing him home for approval as she probably lives on her own - but still the guy is gonna have to meet mom at some point and maybe she's just not up for the mental/esteem/emotional battering/bruising she THINKS she's gonna have to take from Mom. Just saying. Sometimes the pain of avoidence is preferable to the unknown or perceived pain of doing something.

ADDED: it might not even be the actual "Mom" but the "mom" she carries around inside her head - her internal script.

[CarolinaKat]

I'd personally define her mom as bat sh!t crazy. I think you're right ASTIARU. Her mom lives with her about 40% of the time, despite having a house a couple of towns over. She still basically does whatever her mom says. Picks her up and drives her places, instead of her mom driving her car, she'll fully capable of doing it.

Her brother, is a great disappointement to her mother. But I'd call him normal. Has an apt. Goes out and parties, got a PhD, dates whoever he thinks is nice. He really didn't let mom stay over until he moved to Seattle, so now she visits every 3 months for a couple of weeks.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Has she ever had more than 1 date with the same guy?

[CarolinaKat]

Its been probably 8-10 years since she made it past date 3...