how does maternity leave work?

[Angel!]

Jun 20, 2011 10:09:54 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

The prolonged sleep deprivation was awful.

Maybe it was just me, but the sleep deprivation really didn't seem to get to me, espcially with DD. I don't know if it was mommy hormones or how I handle stress, but somehow 2-3 hours of sleep at a time became the norm & I was able to function just fine on that.

With both kids I started back part time at 6 weeks - I would have started back earlier just to get out of the house, but I would have lost my STD if I hadn't waited.

[swamp]

Jun 20, 2011 14:00:15 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Jun 20, 2011 10:09:54 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

The prolonged sleep deprivation was awful.

Maybe it was just me, but the sleep deprivation really didn't seem to get to me, espcially with DD. I don't know if it was mommy hormones or how I handle stress, but somehow 2-3 hours of sleep at a time became the norm & I was able to function just fine on that.

How old were you when you had the kids? I was 36 and 37, and while I'm glad I waited so long financially and emotionally, it was very difficult physically.

[muttleynfelix]

Jun 20, 2011 14:00:15 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Jun 20, 2011 10:09:54 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

The prolonged sleep deprivation was awful.

Maybe it was just me, but the sleep deprivation really didn't seem to get to me, espcially with DD. I don't know if it was mommy hormones or how I handle stress, but somehow 2-3 hours of sleep at a time became the norm & I was able to function just fine on that.

With both kids I started back part time at 6 weeks - I would have started back earlier just to get out of the house, but I would have lost my STD if I hadn't waited.

Some people do handle lack of sleep better than others. I was always 8 hrs of sleep at night. Even pregnant, I never had trouble sleeping other woman did. In general, I don't think it was the up every 2 to 3 hours that got me. It was the fact that I was up for 3 to 4 hrs straight and then got 2 to 3 hrs of sleep.

[Angel!]

Jun 20, 2011 14:11:20 GMT -5 swamp said:

Jun 20, 2011 14:00:15 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Maybe it was just me, but the sleep deprivation really didn't seem to get to me, espcially with DD. I don't know if it was mommy hormones or how I handle stress, but somehow 2-3 hours of sleep at a time became the norm & I was able to function just fine on that.

How old were you when you had the kids? I was 36 and 37, and while I'm glad I waited so long financially and emotionally, it was very difficult physically.

28 & 30. While I don't doubt my age helped, that wasn't the only factor. DD is 9 months now & there is no way I could just go back to 2-3 hours of sleep at a time & be fully functioning - I would be a zombie within a few days. I can only think that either hormones or the stress made it so I could do it without being tired during the day. Some of it was probably necessity too - I was single mom with a 2 yr old & newborn - I didn't have the luxury of being tired & not being able to function.

[kgb18]

while I'm glad I waited so long financially and emotionally, it was very difficult physically.

I was 32 when I had DD. I feel exactly the same. That's why we're going to try for #2 soon, and I'm done after two. If things go according to plan I'll be 35 when we have #2.

The lack of sleep thing was tough for me when I went back to work. It was really hard for me to be up until midnight or 1 with the baby, wake up at least once after that with her, and then to get up at 5 a.m., drive over an hour to work, work all day, drive over an hour home, rinse and repeat. It really took a toll on me.

[yogiii]

I took 5 months off and I really needed 8. DS had very severe colic until he was 6 months old and when I went back to work he was still waking up 3 times at night. As his colic went away and his sleep started adjusting, things took a dramatic turn for him. He's 13 months now and I still haven't sleep trained myself. Him crying 16-18 hours a day took a very very big toll on me. I'm very thankful it was something that I ultimately knew was temporary and not something more serious, but oh boy, I still haven't recovered.

[Deleted]

Jun 20, 2011 7:33:55 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Jun 20, 2011 6:16:43 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

My company gives 6-8 weeks leave depending on the birth and what the doctor mandates.

This is typical- the actual permitted time out is based on your medical condition (which is why I refuse to call it maternity leave- you get zip if you adopt). Then whatever sick-leave rules would apply to a guy who's out 6-8 weeks after he breaks his ankle skiing apply to you, too.

Do doctors still certify you as disabled 4 weeks before the due date, too? I had DS in NJ in 1984 and could have taken off 4 weeks before and 6 after at full pay because I'd been with the company a long time. I thought it was silly to claim I was "disabled" the 4 weeks before since I was riding my bike 10 miles a day after I got home, so I kept working, but did stay home the 6 weeks after.

Actually my company does give leave time for adoptions, but it's not as long as maternity leave. Work classifies it as STD. HR told me that our STD provider would allow me 2 weeks before the Baby's due to go out on leave, but ladies in my dept who've had babies said to not count on it. Just have the doctor sign you out. I think two weeks is reasonable. One week even. I can't imagine working up until my due date.... I'm already having issues and I have 6 weeks left.

[sil]

My doctor signed my disability paperwork 2 weeks before my due date, but my boss would have gladly accepted it if I left a month early.

He wasn't excited to see me leave, he was just overly concerned that my water would break while I was at the office.

[Deleted]

Sil, that's what I'm concerned about too. I do NOT want to go into labor at work.

[sil]

Moneyjenny,

Yep - I remember being pretty freaked out about going into labor at the office too. I recommend going out as early as your doctor/workplace/budget allows

Sounds like you are going to try to leave work 2 weeks early. As it sounds like you are really uncomfortable now, do you think your boss would allow you to work from home all or some of the time?

[swamp]

Don't worry, labor always starts in the middle of the night on a weekend.

[Deleted]

LOL swamp! Yes, that's part of the Fetal Agreement of 1900: no fetus shall erupt from a woman's uterus during her working hours.

SIL, DS's butt (?) is directly under my ribcage, so when I sit it's pushing against my ribs. Driving to work was interesting as he also squirmed a lot. This also prevents me from sitting up straight and I have a desk job. Working from home would be nice - at least I could recline when needed.

[telephus44]

I had a c-section, and probably could have been back at work at 6 weeks. Of course, since they shut down the plant I worked at, I didn't have a job to go back to, so I ended up staying home for 6 months. Healing from the c-section wasn't as traumatic as I had been told - I didn't need anything beyond Tylenol when I went home from the hospital, and I had no real pain or issues after about 10 days. DS was born Sept 20th and by January I was really climbing the walls. I also lucked out in that DS was a pretty easy baby - not too fussy, could care less about being hot or cold, didn't care about a dirty diaper, ate well, slept 8 hours at a time at 3 months... but I sure wouldn't generalize that to everyone's experience. They're all different.

I also didn't think Aflac covered maternity - I had it at one point, but dropped it since the coverage/cost was a pretty bad value. Since we're currently TTC, I'll have to look into it again.

[Phoenix84]

In the federal government maternatiy leave is used from your sick leave pool. If you use up your sick leave or don't want to use it you can take unpaid leave under FMLA.

[emma1420]

I work for a company that doesn't have to abide by FLMA. But, they provide 6 weeks of paid (at 100%) maternity leave. Anything over that you have to use vacation/sick, and get approval for the additional time off. So most women take between 10-12 weeks off. It works fine in theory if the person in question has a complications free pregnancy. But, we've had at least one employee who was put on bedrest at 30 weeks, and ended up coming back to work when her child was only 4 weeks old (he was born at 37 weeks) because she ran out of leave.

[keeponworkin]

we get 4 weeks of short term disability for regular birth and 6 weeks for c section, at 2/3 pay. it doesn't kick in until the 15th day you are "disabled", which seems to mean when you have to go to the hospital. you have to pay the first 2 weeks out of PTO, before short term disability starts, and anything you use after that is also out of PTO (or unpaid if you can go that route). my boss can't seem to fathom why i can't tell him exactly when, to the minute, i will be going out on leave. i keep telling him it could be anytime between now, and three weeks from now. just doesn't compute for him.

[Deleted]

wow, some of your companies have terrible policies. I mean I understand that it's your decision to have kids and you have to be aware of your options, but still.

[lazysundays]

NJ offers 12 weeks from federal and 12 weeks from a nj law that allows more maternity leave. The problem with being allowed time off is that most people still need the $ to pay the bills. I only took 12 weeks off because I needed the $. For the 14 weeks off (2 before due date), I received 6 weeks subsidized at a peanuts rate of only just over $500 per week. The other 8 weeks of income came out of cleaning out my small amount from the illness bank and the rest from vacation time. I started work with 2 weeks of vacation left, just in case baby had been sickly and I needed more time off...
So legally, I could have done 6 months without being fired. But I needed my own savings or lots of illness bank hours saved up (I hadn't worked there a long time) My coworker did 6 months because her illness bank was so full that she was still getting full salary checks for the whole maternity leave

[taz157]

Jun 20, 2011 20:40:13 GMT -5 telephus44 said:

I also didn't think Aflac covered maternity - I had it at one point, but dropped it since the coverage/cost was a pretty bad value. Since we're currently TTC, I'll have to look into it again.

Aflac does offer short term disability. You cannot give birth within 10 months of starting the policy or else they won't pay. My work looked in it at the end of last year for starting this year, but decided against it. 1) I was already pregnant and am due Aug 3rd, ehich they didn't know at the time. 2) Cost was more than I wanted to pay and currently paying to another provider.

[Deleted]

Jun 21, 2011 11:59:47 GMT -5 keeponworkin said:

My boss can't seem to fathom why I can't tell him exactly when, to the minute, I will be going out on leave. I keep telling him it could be anytime between now, and three weeks from now. Just doesn't compute for him.

Well, couldn't you schedule a C-section so he could plan better? ;D

[Deleted]

Maternity leave comes out of our sick leave. (I'm a teacher.) It's twelve weeks maximum. We had a teacher wife/husband who fixed it so she took twelve weeks, and then he took twelve weeks. They managed to not have to put their babies into daycare the entire first year (two children). They have since changed the rule to be twelve weeks maximum, regardless of which parent takes the leave. We call that rule by that couple's name. Lol.

Because it comes out of sick leave, pregnant women are allowed to ask for "donations" of sick leave. Nothing annoys most of us more than new teachers who say, "I don't have enough sick leave. Will you be nice enough to donate some?" No one put a gun to their heads to get pregnant. Wait until you have the sick leave. (About four years of perfect attendance would cover it.) Donations of sick leave are for people with cancer, people whose spouse is dying and needs care, etc. It is for things you can't plan.

The system is "nice," though. When a teacher doesn't have enough sick leave, they don't take it out of one check. They recalculate their earnings and spread it over whatever is left of the year.

[telephus44]

Jul 3, 2011 12:37:02 GMT -5 taz157 said:

Jun 20, 2011 20:40:13 GMT -5 telephus44 said:

I also didn't think Aflac covered maternity - I had it at one point, but dropped it since the coverage/cost was a pretty bad value. Since we're currently TTC, I'll have to look into it again.

Aflac does offer short term disability. You cannot give birth within 10 months of starting the policy or else they won't pay. My work looked in it at the end of last year for starting this year, but decided against it. 1) I was already pregnant and am due Aug 3rd, ehich they didn't know at the time. 2) Cost was more than I wanted to pay and currently paying to another provider.

Maybe that was it. I had accident coverage and STD, and I remembered that it wouldn't cover anything when I was pregnant with DS. Might have been that 10 month thing. I also remember thinking that the cost versus payout wasn't a big difference.