Generation ME

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

You weren't born a lifelong non athlete, and your DH wasn't born an athlete. You've both made choices to get where you are now. That's all I'm saying.

I know. I am just saying that public humiliation was what turned me off sports, not that I sucked at them.

Maybe if I had better classmates or better teachers I wouldn't have the hang-ups about sports that I do.

DH either is a different person who was driven to prove them wrong or he had a much better experience in PE than I did in terms of classmates and teachers.

Which is why he likes and enjoys them, he had a really positive experience with them.

Good sportsmanship education would have gone a LONG way in high school and middle school.

You don't need a trophy if you don't win, but you sure as hell should not have to endure humiliation that follows you thru every PE period.

Part of sports is learning to be a good winner and a good loser. Somewhere along the way the PE classes I was in missed that memo and were just plain mean.

I don't want DD to experience that and I DEFINETLY don't want her to be the one doing the humiliation.

Maybe it would have been different if I spoke up instead of endured it. I am not huge on parents running down to the school every five minutes but if I catch wind that DD is suffering what I did, I am raising holy hell.

[CarolinaKat]

Jun 23, 2011 13:59:38 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

DH loved sports but he was GOOD at them, really good.

I still think you're thinking about it wrong. Your DH PRACTICED at them, really practiced. Not just every once in a while in PE, but on his own time, after school, on weekends, during summer breaks. He put in the time practicing sports which is why he was good at them.

You weren't born a lifelong non athlete, and your DH wasn't born an athlete. You've both made choices to get where you are now. That's all I'm saying.

If you don't want your daughter to have the same experience you had, keep her active from an early age. Take her out in the yard and show her how to catch, how to throw, how to run, how to jump. Play games with her that build up her strength and coordination. You have to coach and train athletes, not hope they pop out of the womb ready to play one on one with Lebron.

Dark,
Sometimes people are just naturally inclined to be good at something. My first time on a horse, I handled it better than some people who had been taking lessons EVERY WEEK for 2-3 years. It was a natural movement for me. I hadn't been taught, I hadn't practiced, heck, I had barely been around horses the first 15 years of my life. I was just good. In 6 months, I had learned what the trainer could teach me and was able to work as a stable hand and teach assistant lessons and work with the young horses. The others who had progressed to stable hands had been riding since they were 5, so they had nearly a decade of experience on me.

I wasn't the only one who was a natural. There was a 10yo boy who was amazing. He did better than the other 10yos who had been riding since they were 5. He got moved to 'show ready' and 'advanced horse' ready in under a year. Any horse he was put on, he looked good and solid. So he should have sucked compared to the ones who had been riding much longer and had practiced harder?

[thyme4change]

I think being somewhat active and healthy is a necessary life skill.

I am not refuting that at all. I totally agree, and it is something I teach my children - way more than I teach them math.

I'm not complaining about exercise. I'm complaining about team ball sports and junior high. Kids are cruel, we know that. Would it really be so tough to give kids a choice on if they want to take "Healthy Living" vs. "Sports." Are teachers so inept they can't come up with a way to teach an active lifestyle without pissing off the jocks and embarrassing the disinterested? If you want to have a phys ed class that is all team sports - great! All the people who are good at those activities can go for it. Everyone else, you can choose - team sports, or a class that does laps, and Zumba, and wind sprints.

[CarolinaKat]

I had a science teacher in elementary school who would come to school early and speed walk around the playground. Lots of kids would follow her because 'it was fun to see what she'd say." For a whole year we all got early morning excercise because she would occasionally say random science facts, or have a sing along.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I liked reccess. That was plenty of exercise and you could join whatever group you wanted to. I used to play Red Rover a lot when I was a kid.

I just don't see the benefit of forcing everyone to play a mandatory group sport for a grade in PE. I liked senior year when it was cyclical and you could pick what you wanted to do. I could do "group sports" one semester and a solo sport the next semester or whatever.

Then the people who wanted to play to win didn't have to suffer thru those of us who could not hit a ball if our lives depended on it and we could have an escape from weekly humiliation.

I see the benefit if it in elementary school, but by middle school/high school I think that unless you are going to teach/enforce good sportsmanship that it's cruel to make everyone have to participate in group sports in a contained class for a grade.

[zibazinski]

The joy has been sucked out of teaching for teachers and their students. Very sad.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Would it really be so tough to give kids a choice on if they want to take "Healthy Living" vs. "Sports."

That's exactly what my high school did. They couldn't in junior high though, because we had one PE teacher that was shared with the elementary school. There were only so many periods. The middle school PE classes were also larger than any other class, so I can understand why he focused on stuff that 50 kids can all play at the same time with the least amount of equipment. I think that's why we played so much kickball.

[thyme4change]

Yes - but this was 30 years ago. So, either the joy has been sucked out of teachers for decades, or

[hurley1980]

Drama and Thyme - I'm going to echo your responses, because I too was the uncoordinated kid who was mercilessly teased in PE all through elementary school, middle school, and 2 years of high school (jr and sr year I took aerobics instead). I'm short, slow and clumsy. The only sport I was ever any good at was gymnastics, and that was only the tumbling part because I was too uncoordinated to do any of the apparatuses, like beam or vault. My mom even tried to get me out of PE a couple of times by seeing if we could use my dance classes as earned PE credit, but they wouldn't allow it. I would literally leave PE crying when I was a kid, and by the time I got to high school, I just didnt give a crap, I did the bare minimum to get a passing grade. I WILL not ever play group or partnered sports now. Not even horse shoes or darts and my boyfriends families house! All I learned from the experience is what JERKS kids can be, and how to quickly get low self esteem! I'm glad they didnt hand out participation ribbons in PE, because that would have been like pouring salt on a wound!

And for the record, this was PE in 4 different schools (in 2 different states) from 1987 to 1996. It was all the same.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

by the time I got to high school, I just didnt give a crap, I did the bare minimum to get a passing grade

Ditto, which is I am sure the lesson they wanted me to learn. How to do the bare minimum so I can get the hell out of here.

Course that lesson has probably come in handy far more times than rope climbing ever has.

Just thought of it, but my boss asked me if I ran. I said no and he said it was too bad because I have the natural build for a runner (he does a lot of marathons and stuff).

Now that I think about it I wonder how different my view of sports would have been if someone had recognized that earlier on and encouraged track instead of yelling at me because I couldn't hit a wiffle ball?

[zibazinski]

Well, I worked with 3 guys and one of them was a major a-hole so I bet being in his class sucked cuz being his co-worker sure did!!!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Pretty sure the male gym teacher at my school was sleeping with the cheerleaders. If he wasn't then he was spending an awful lot of time in class sending mixed signals.

[zibazinski]

I'm sorry for those of you that had bad experiences. I'm short so other than cheerleading, there was nothing for me sports-wise. I'm OLD so no "equality" in women's sports for me. But I actually am athletic because I stopped caring and just had fun. Join a co-ed baseball team, go play adult kickball, go take ballet, find something fun.

[Peace Of Mind]

Jun 23, 2011 14:05:33 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

I think being somewhat active and healthy is a necessary life skill. One that a couple generations of Americans are almost completely without. It doesn't have to be baseball obviously, but I do think it's important to teach kids to stay active.

I agree. But I loved group sports and playing with my friends in school. I was very average, but a bit competitive. I don't remember anybody putting other kids who weren't that good down. We would cheer everybody and when they struck out (or whatever) we'd say "That's ok! You'll get a hit next time!" I wish I could remember if it was the teacher or just the group of kids that had that general encouraging attitude.

Thyme and Drama - Isn't it amazing how just a few people can ruin things for others and have it affect them throughout their lives? I am truly sorry you missed out on some fun and exercises because of neurotic sports freaks making it so miserable for you.

And thank you for making me realize being vain has it's perks. I was always so self-conscience of my long skinny legs in my stupid uniform, and my best friend was so self-conscience of her (what I thought shapely and gorgeous) big boobs and butt sticking out of hers that we never even noticed if we were put down about our abilities. LOL!!!

[daylight]

Jun 23, 2011 11:28:24 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

But the actual reward is in knowing you did your best. And all the awards in the world aren't going to tell you that.

What about those that did their best and sat there watching another person get 19 awards? It makes the non-winner feel defective. For a lot of people, working hard and doing their best will never make them "the best." We are just constantly shoving their failure in their face by making sure we give an award for every stupid thing we can think of.

I agree with the idea of handing out fewer awards. We always received books in class for a straight A year, and the best, who also did something extra, competed etc. got (extra) books in front of the whole school. Not receiving anything in front of the whole school made people feel just normal/average. And there is nothing wrong with average imho.

[robbase]

interesting thing, when I was in Afghanistan I had a chance to go to the US Embassy in Kabul. They had top of the line stuff- apartment like living quarters with nice balconies, a swimming pool, tennis court, etc....in freaking Afghanistan. When talking with some of the higher ups at the Embassy, they said- "this is what the young people expect to have access to, if we want the young talent this is what we have to do"...... really?? in Afghanistan? working for the US Embassy?

[DVM gone riding]

on defying adult generations ago 25 was actually considered "adult" it was at this age that single females where generally given the right to make their own decisions and most "children" would gain access to trust funds (of course it was also assumed that females would marry before this point and then their husbands would make the decisions) Then we went to 21 that was the age you could vote/smoke/drink and make decisions for yourself then we legally "defined" adult as 18, partially because you could enlist at this age, and that is now the age at which your parents stop having legal responsibility for your actions. But I think the fully adult age of 21-25 is a true definition of "adult" and I also think it would make sense to have another category between "child" and "adult" for legal purposes.

[thyme4change]

We would cheer everybody and when they struck out (or whatever) we'd say "That's ok! You'll get a hit next time!"

Does anyone else remember that Seinfeld episode where they went to some lady's apartment to watch the NY Marathon and she was yelling "You are all winners." I don't know if there are pockets of sweet, nice people in every area, or if some people are raised in a whole area like this, and in other places the bitter-hatred takes down the whole culture.

[midjd]

I don't know if there are pockets of sweet, nice people in every area, or if some people are raised in a whole area like this, and in other places the bitter-hatred takes down the whole culture.

IME, it's the latter. My hometown is one of the bitter-hatred ones - seriously, there is almost an aura of oppression when you hit the city limits. It's a typical small, boring, Midwestern town but the residents are so miserable it's palpable. The city we're living in now is completely different - everyone we've met has been super nice and friendly. It's almost Stepford-like. I think that attitudes are contagious and if you have enough miserable people around, soon enough you'll be miserable too.