Apparently I'm greedy, negligent, & materialistic

[me4kids]

Hi everyone! Long time lurker, first time poster. I've learned a lot from the original MSN Money Board. So when it was suggested that we join NetworthIQ, I did.

At first I kept myself hidden, but then I was curious as to where I ranked. I got addicted & started putting in my networth every month, I even wrote a journal to remind myself of where I started financially.

Today, I finally got my first comment on my profile. WOW!! Apparently I'm greedy negligent & materialistic. I know we made many financial mistakes, but WOW!!

I'm listed under me4kids.

It just makes me want to go hidden again. Sorry for the vent.

[midjd]

I'm sorry... sometimes people are real d-bags

[Deleted]

Someone on the interwebs said something inflammatory. Now I have heard it all.

[azphx1972]

Hmm, there are some trolls on there but I've seen ts2000 before, and that seems to be a really random comment. I'm assuming that he wrote the comment on the wrong profile?

Please don't go private. There are enough of those and it makes the site less than pleasant to use. Plus I really enjoyed your journal entry documenting your financial journey so far!

[Mrs. Dinero]

F that noise! Welcome!

If you're going to stick around you have to get tougher skin though.

Every time I get upset about something here I vent to one of my friends and they say, "Money message board? Are you serious?"

Just keep it all in perspective. There are a lot of good tips here and plenty of tongue lashing too.

[zibazinski]

You say those words like they're a bad thing!!!!

[me4kids]

I find constructive criticism & advice really helpful. But putting people down because of their mistakes, how does it help the person?

[zibazinski]

That usually doesn't happen unless you repeat the mistake, even then, we all slip, and can be forgiven. Consider us your confessors!!!

[Mrs. Dinero]

"But putting people down because of their mistakes, how does it help the person?"

I don't get it either so you're not alone.

[me4kids]

I know. I do need to get tougher skin. I'm wayyyyy too sensitive. That's one of the reasons I don't like posting on message boards/blogs.

Thanks for all of the reassurance. You've put a smile on my face.

[zibazinski]

Oh, I don't know. Sometimes it's fun to point a finger and say "nonny nonny boo boo."

[midjd]

I think people who would not ordinarily be mean in "real life" find courage with the internet. It is easy to write words on a screen and not think about the fact that there is another person with feelings on the other side...

[zibazinski]

[Deleted]

Some people are ignorant jerks.

I assume the "government subsidized programs" to which he refers in your journey is unemployment, the low income housing program and the HAMP. So your alternatives were what? Welfare? Allowing the property to be foreclosed upon?

Unfortunately posting the journal does open you up to these kind of people. On the bright side you had more positive comments on your journal!

[azphx1972]

Ok, I reread your journal and ts2000 must be referring to what you said about looking into HARP a few years ago. Still, his comment seems unnecessarily harsh given that I know a ton of people have walked away from their homes, at least you're staying put. I'd just ignore him.

[Mrs. Dinero]

Hmmmm I think you are on to something here midwestern. I'm meaner than sh!t in real life.

[Deleted]

I don't think you are allowed to join this board unless you are all of those things - I mean what is a YM'er who isn't materialistic? Probably someone who got lost trying to find EE.

[me4kids]

If it weren't for message boards, I never would have

1. Learned/read about the Millionaire Next Door, Motley Fool, Automatic Millionaire, etc.
2. I increased my DH's 401k from 2% to 12% (currently)
3. Started Roth IRA's for DH & myself (maxed out every year since I opened them)
4. Increased our life insurance from 1x our yearly income to 10x
5. Learned how to LBYM

Thank you for the karma
I was not brought up that way, & my parents/siblings still don't support all that I've done financially. Of all the things on that list, my family has disagreed with everything.

I don't know where we'd be financially if it weren't for message boards.

[azphx1972]

I've gotten a lot from the message boards too. I started with newsgroups (misc.consumers.frugal-living) and then graduated to forums (the original YM, then abandoned that once MSN changed the board formats), NWIQ, and now here. It's been a fun and educational journey so far.

[Deleted]

DH and I were discussing the phenomena of message board replies yesterday. He posted a question about how to get an app to not run continuously on his phone. He got 48 replies that said something like "that app running all the time doesn't bother me." Well, bully for you. Why go to the effort of posting that? It doesn't answer the question.

[jd2005]

The guy who posted the comment is not very open to discussion. He lambasted me on a comment I made simply because it wasn't in line with his "be debt free at all cost attitude."

Keep up the good work and ignore the idiots!

[kimber45]

Probably someone who got lost trying to find EE.

Hey, I resemble that remark

[me4kids]

Thank you for everything that was said here. For a moment there, I thought that the commenter was right and I was doing everything wrong. DH & I don't agree financially. Since I've been in charge of the finances for the last few years, we've finally been able to save.

DH wanted to buy the 2nd home. I didn't. I know, I shouldn't have signed the papers. I wish I had stood my ground & said "NO". All of his coworkers were buying $600k - $800k homes back in 2006. A lot of them took out HELOCs and used the money to buy multiple homes to flip. Some of my DH's coworkers were trying to get him to join them in some of their investments. I said "NO". ALL of them lost their homes.

When the end of 2008 came & we started going underwater, DH wanted to stop paying because that was what his coworkers did. When I complained about our budget, DH's answer was, "Let's just walk away from this house". I said "NO" to all of it. Instead I cut back and decided to look for a part-time job at my children's school.

I thought I was doing the right thing. That comment on my NetworthIQ profile just made me doubt all that I was doing. Thank you again.

[azphx1972]

Well I think you're doing great considering where you started, so stick to your guns and don't doubt yourself based on anonymous comments on an internet message board. Although I agree that buying the second property probably wasn't the greatest idea, if you hang onto it long enough values will eventually come back.

I think the most valuable lesson we learned here was to not listen to your husband on money decisions. ;D

[me4kids]

^^

[dancinmama]

Jun 10, 2011 11:13:05 GMT -5 me4kids said:

If it weren't for message boards, I never would have

1. Learned/read about the Millionaire Next Door, Motley Fool, Automatic Millionaire, etc.
2. I increased my DH's 401k from 2% to 12% (currently)
3. Started Roth IRA's for DH & myself (maxed out every year since I opened them)
4. Increased our life insurance from 1x our yearly income to 10x
5. Learned how to LBYM

Thank you for the karma
I was not brought up that way, & my parents/siblings still don't support all that I've done financially. Of all the things on that list, my family has disagreed with everything.

I don't know where we'd be financially if it weren't for message boards.

clarissa: I am totally impressed. Good for you.

I read the Millionaire Next Door years ago and have committed some sins that are not Millionaire Next Door worthy, but I love that book.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Clarissa, you may want to find your region on the WIR board too. they may provide you with additional moral support.

[me4kids]

Thank you dancinmama.

It's hard to live the way we do when the rest of the family lives for today.

When I asked my mother about IRAs in the 90's, she told me that it was only for "old people" She feels I have too much life insurance. My parents were lucky that my dad had a really good pension, so they didn't need to contribute too much to a 401k. With their SS & pensions, they bring home more in a month than we do.

My siblings live paycheck to paycheck. Brand names are important to them. As generous as my sister is, I tell her not to spend on us. I tell her that we don't need this or that. My brother still depends on my parents for day to day living. He works, is married, has 1 son, but apparently doesn't make enough. Both siblings live in my parents' 2 other homes (they have 3 altogether).

DH's family is a little better where at least they save money. But they don't believe in the stock market/Roths/401k. They keep their money in their safe because they don't trust banks.

[me4kids]

I've never checked out the WIR board. Thank you for pointing me in that direction Beth. I've always only checked out Your Money and Smart Spending.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Jun 10, 2011 15:21:46 GMT -5 me4kids said:

I've never checked out the WIR board. Thank you for pointing me in that direction Beth. I've always only checked out Your Money and Smart Spending.

EE is a fun place to hang out when you've got time to waste. ;D
P&M is kinda odd, to be polite. And I don't think I've visited the other boards.