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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 15, 2023 17:52:18 GMT -5
Paying for reading, yay or nay? Carrot keeps begging for an allowance, but I'm just not feeling a no strings attached cash outlay at the moment. I know I used to give older son $40/month (although I think he was older when I started) but these kids are so different. I figure Carrot was too little to remember what deal his brother had so I don't really have to make it the same. Anyhow, I really think reading is valuable and he used to like to do it, but the last year or two it's been games, games and more games. I was thinking I could kill two birds with one stone and offer him $5/book or so. Heck, maybe even $10 if you figure it might take him a week to finish one. I just don't want to end up with a $200/month bill either. I was originally thinking of paying him for grades since he is doing so bad in that area, but I think that might backfire and he'd get even more angry/frustrated with a few of his classes.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Mar 15, 2023 20:30:00 GMT -5
If you do decide to pay for reading, I'd make sure you have a way to verify he actually read the book. Maybe some sort of discussion about it?
What about some sort of extra activity instead? Like if he reads a book a week for a month, you'll take him out to eat at his favorite fast food place or something? Or you'll drop him and a friend off at the movies? Just trying to think of an activity other than video games.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 15, 2023 22:07:00 GMT -5
I pay for chores, and am not opposed to bribing as needed. I'd probably put down a lot of ground rules which ds at least would balk at - types of books, new (to him), # I'd pay for, etc. I like the idea of discussing the book with you for payment.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 15, 2023 22:18:14 GMT -5
MPL - I can see why you would want him to do it. I like the suggestions that others have.
Currently, my DH told DD1 that if she practiced her violin everyday except Wednesday and including weekends for 2 weeks, he'd pay her $40. We'll see how she goes. Right now, she really wants the money. We'll see what happens by the end of next week.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 15, 2023 22:39:23 GMT -5
I think I'll set a time limit on it...and maybe a max per month. Like only until the end of the year with 4 books a month limit @ $10/book and make him log the books and not book report, but a synopsis line and telling me about it for sure.
Once he starts I expect he'll take off. For awhile there he was reading all the time and easily going through a pretty big book a week, then he just got out of the habit...mainly because of electronics...no more reading on the drives, he pulls out his phone instead. He is super money motivated lately though. Just begging me for ways to make a buck.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 15, 2023 23:00:11 GMT -5
I'm tempted to pay for music practice, but as much as I wish the kids would practice more at home, they both still really like piano and their other instruments. I don't want to wreck the magic of that either.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 15, 2023 23:15:32 GMT -5
Carrot practices piano pretty much every day on his own. It's been a habit since he started at age 5. He doesn't practice for LONG (like 10 or 15 minutes max) and I can't say as he's really improved for a long time now. The first few years we thought we had some prodigy he was playing so well when he was so little...then he just kind of stayed at that level. LOL I sometimes say "maybe we should quit piano lessons?", and he gets mad. He really loves his lessons, just doesn't want to put in the hours to improve.
Trombone? I think he's only brought it home like twice this year. But they have band 5 days a week and he's in Jazz band which is before school two additional days, so really he gets plenty of practice at school. Which also reminds me that we haven't gotten our student trombone back from the repair shop for like a month! He's been using his brother's super nice concert one all this time. I'm super stressed about that because he is really hard on the other one.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 16, 2023 7:43:22 GMT -5
We just restarted giving an allowance, and it's tied to some really easy chores. J10 is all about earning the money, as well as spending it. He's my more domestic kid also. M13 is all about spending our money and saving his own. He's also much lazier.
It's like pulling teeth to get him to practice his violin for 10 minutes. I'd be fine if he wanted to quit at this point, but he says he wants to play through HS. We really need to buy a violin and quit renting. I would buy a nice one for $1000+ (after renting discount) from the store, but his actions say he doesn't care, so I might get the cheap one from Ebay. The cheaper one would be much easier to resell. IDK
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 16, 2023 7:51:40 GMT -5
DD1 has talked about doing violin again next year (in 7th grade). I don’t think she’ll be able to if she keeps in Magnet Art, dance (instead of PE) and Spanish class. Her Magnet Art class is everyday while the other classes would be every other day. Then is in addition to the 4 main subjects too. We’ll see. 🤷♀️
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 16, 2023 8:12:48 GMT -5
We're letting the kids take a late day this morning. Ds concert didn't get out till 845pm, then I thought we could get ice cream quick, but it actually took an hour and ds s had more homework at that point. We're still dragging from dst so I think letting them catch up now is better although the middle school may disagree.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 16, 2023 8:37:37 GMT -5
I think I'll set a time limit on it...and maybe a max per month. Like only until the end of the year with 4 books a month limit @ $10/book and make him log the books and not book report, but a synopsis line and telling me about it for sure.
Once he starts I expect he'll take off. For awhile there he was reading all the time and easily going through a pretty big book a week, then he just got out of the habit...mainly because of electronics...no more reading on the drives, he pulls out his phone instead. He is super money motivated lately though. Just begging me for ways to make a buck.
Maybe talk with him about it. Tell him his reading is very important to you and you want it to be important to him as well. And, that you're willing to pay per book through the end of the school year IFF he keeps it up afterward. At that time you can figure out another avenue for him to earn money. It could work.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 16, 2023 10:02:09 GMT -5
DD1 has talked about doing violin again next year (in 7th grade). I don’t think she’ll be able to if she keeps in Magnet Art, dance (instead of PE) and Spanish class. Her Magnet Art class is everyday while the other classes would be every other day. Then is in addition to the 4 main subjects too. We’ll see. 🤷♀️ Our middle school has very few choices as far as electives are concerned. Everyone takes 1 trimester of foreign language in 7th grade, for instance. I had a lot more choices in Jr high, back in the old days.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 16, 2023 10:35:50 GMT -5
Our "Middle School" is just 5th and 6th grade and they get no choices. It's all single classroom with specialist classes all doing the same. Junior High 7th grade and 8th grade are the same for electives. You have to choose two from (Band, Choir, Learning Center, Foreign Language). That's the extent of electives. Math you are placed based on testing. Carrot got put into 9th grade Algebra in 7th. He belongs there in that he understands all the concepts well, but he is so bad with his writing and doing some of the assigned work that he's barely squeaking by. For the same reason English is kicking his ass. Anything that involves physically writing things. Still on the waiting list for the Occupational Therapist...
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 16, 2023 14:00:18 GMT -5
Dh does group texts between his parents and mine for the kids stuff and it drives me nuts because his family can't actually bother to show up for anything for the kids but they fall over themselves on the reply-alls. I keep that stuff separate and need to ask dh to do the same and leave me off his side. It's not worth being upset over but I can't shake it today.
Also drives me nuts that since dh's family can't show up for any actual event we're supposed to get together with them separately so they can celebrate with the kids. I won't blatantly refuse, but I'm not going out of my way to make that happen either.
Yesterday dh was pissed off about everything and I was the chill one and today I'm ready to lose my shit.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 16, 2023 14:05:19 GMT -5
They have a decent # of electives at the middle school but if you do music or a foreign language you don't have room for much else. PE and health take up slots and are required. Ds only requested ones were orchestra and yearbook and he didn't get yearbook, but did have art and architecture.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 16, 2023 18:11:47 GMT -5
Gwen had her visit with the pediatrician.
Based on the screening she was diagnosed with severe anxiety and starts 10 mg of Prozac.
We'll see if that helps.
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Post by tcu2003 on Mar 16, 2023 19:57:18 GMT -5
They have a decent # of electives at the middle school but if you do music or a foreign language you don't have room for much else. PE and health take up slots and are required. Ds only requested ones were orchestra and yearbook and he didn't get yearbook, but did have art and architecture. This is what I’ve noticed for our middle school electives, or at least for 6th grade. C wants to stick with band, so that took up 4 of his 6 elective choices. Same for choir or orchestra kids. And if you want to do band or orchestra plus choir, that’s all of your choices as they’ll let those kids just do two quarters of choir.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 17, 2023 16:49:13 GMT -5
Trying to come up with a family outing on a Friday night is hard. Bowling and axe throwing both end up over $200 when all is said and done. I think we could do a couple hours at a trampoline park for $100, but dh isn't feeling up for that.
The kids have different tastes in Movies and the point is to make them a captive audience that has to talk to us. Lol. We'll probably just go out to dinner and play some cards at home.
What's everyone else doing?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 17, 2023 21:52:08 GMT -5
We ended up going mini golfing and arcade which was good.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 18, 2023 20:40:05 GMT -5
I finally heard back from Occupational Therapy yesterday after being on the wait list since October. Carrot has an appointment on Wednesday. I have to pull him out of school to go which is annoying. If this is going to be weekly for a long time that is going to be an issue. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 20, 2023 22:20:20 GMT -5
My younger boy was invited to go roller skating Saturday night for a teammates birthday. I took him, though I wasn't feeling terribly social.I'm a bit embarrassed that I never taught my kids to skate when they were younger. Got them a few ice skating lessons later on, but it's so much easier for smaller kids who are closer to the ground. Neither took to it very well.
They made parents skate, too, which i was planning on in order to help him and make sure he didn't hurt himself. Anyway, he struggled a lot, but also did a lot better than on ice. Lots of other kids were shakey and falling as well, even when skating with these little stands made out of pvc pipe. Towards the end of the night, there was a couple skate so I held his hand, steering him away from people and steadying him. Mind you, I was on rental roller blades which didn't have brakes and were too big for me. I was sort of shakey too, had trouble stopping though figured out how to slow them down. Anywho, steered him away from a group on the edge when someone fell in front of us. By this time, he was in front of me and a little girl fell right in front of both of us. So I steered him behind a couple people that just passed to the left and the lady that passed just fell. At that point I let go and slowed myself down to not have us all fall on top of the little girl. My kid ended up tripping on the lady on the floor(along with another kid), but was able to get up quickly to the side. The lady ended up really hurt (possibly concussion) and went to the hospital. She was another soccer players mom. I felt awful, but it appears she's probably okay now.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 21, 2023 7:27:24 GMT -5
Ouch, Lizard Queen. Glad you and your DS were not hurt, but too bad about the woman who was. I always felt badly my kids didn't learn to skate or ski. But, we lived in the south--Maryland--and things just didn't freeze down there.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 21, 2023 8:16:29 GMT -5
There really isn't anywhere to skate around here anymore. The sidewalks aren't smooth enough and traffic has gotten so bad in our neighborhood I don't want the kids zooming off in front of a car. I can still skate somewhat decently but remembering how to stop is a struggle. DH is still pretty good on skates. With the weather being what it is there isn't much opportunity to ice skate anymore either and there aren't a lot of rinks. Personally I'm terrified of ice skating I went to an ice skating birthday party back in grade school and the birthday girl fell. Someone skated right over her finger and nearly sliced it off. There was an insane amount of blood. I'm good.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Mar 21, 2023 16:11:00 GMT -5
We have 2-3 skating rinks in my county, and each kid has been to at least a couple of skating parties, and/or summer care outings. My big pet peeve is that at least 2 of them charge you to enter, whether you skate or not. I’m not leaving my 6yo alone at a skating party when she’s only been once or twice, and I don’t know the parents well. I’m likely to take the entrance fee you charged me just to cross your doorway and buy myself a drink or snack, but on principle, now I won’t. Ugh. Still annoyed about that and the last skate party she attended was last August. She’s going to another one in a couple of weeks, so I’ll get to experience it all over again.
I do appreciate that the rinks here have the PVC trainer things, as those have been helpful for both kiddos.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 21, 2023 17:13:29 GMT -5
There's a couple ice rinks nearby, but when I was a kid, my brother made an ice rink in the backyard. Back then, I tried figure skating and got decent at hockey. Hockey is big around here, and my nephew plays on a travel team.
I missed the window to teach my kids when I was always busy helping my mom and dealing with my husband's hip surgery, and I have guilt related to the things we didn't get to do back then. They were even a little slow learning to ride bikes, but I made a point to teach them before they got too big for me to help them.
Still a little worried about that lady. Another mom said she was a single mom and had no one to help, so she helped her out that night.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 21, 2023 19:31:15 GMT -5
There's a couple ice rinks nearby, but when I was a kid, my brother made an ice rink in the backyard. Back then, I tried figure skating and got decent at hockey. Hockey is big around here, and my nephew plays on a travel team. I missed the window to teach my kids when I was always busy helping my mom and dealing with my husband's hip surgery, and I have guilt related to the things we didn't get to do back then. They were even a little slow learning to ride bikes, but I made a point to teach them before they got too big for me to help them. Still a little worried about that lady. Another mom said she was a single mom and had no one to help, so she helped her out that night. I feel that guilt and have it about so many things. My kids did a fair amount of ice skating when they were little but I'm not sure how much they'd struggle now.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 21, 2023 19:36:50 GMT -5
I feel stupid for this but...ds did his own insulin pump change today when home alone. He's walked my mom or sister through a change but never done it solo. I don't know how to feel about it. It's not complicated but I guess its just such a sign of growing up that I wasn't expecting.
Because the facial hair wasn't enough.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 22, 2023 4:12:38 GMT -5
It seems like unqualified good news to me, raeoflyte, but I understand completely about not being ready for independent adult-ish offspring.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Mar 23, 2023 16:05:53 GMT -5
Carrot's appointment went well yesterday and they recommended 7 weeks of 45 minute appointments, but I'm having trouble interpreting the clinical notes. Somehow he scored an 83% on the handwriting Ruberic, so either I'm misinterpreting what that's scoring on or my standards for writing for a 12 year old are just too high because his is pretty awful IMO.
And while they agreed his pen grip is pretty awful, they were more concerned about his shoulder muscles and STNR reflex which he was supposed to have lost at 9 months old, which kind of threw me.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 23, 2023 18:44:38 GMT -5
Good he's gotten started, MPL. OT is good stuff.
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