TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 21, 2021 8:13:12 GMT -5
No advice on what to do but you are not a bad person. I can see a 10 year old thinking it would be cool to have the makeup. If she did take it, she does need to learn she can't do that.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 21, 2021 8:18:43 GMT -5
Might as well keep going with other stuff.
So lately I have been wanting to knock Gwen into next Tuesday. She's gotten REALLY entitled/spoiled lately. She's otherwise a good kid but something has changed. I know part of it is FIL has been regularly giving her about $40 anytime we are down there for no reason. DH has talked to FIL about this. FIL is in a stage where he feels like he does not have much time so he wants to give money to the kids while he can still enjoy seeing their reactions. We certainly understand BUT it's turning Gwen into a spoiled brat.
This is evidenced by the previous week while I was off. I did a lot with the kids and spent a decent chunk of change. I decided to go into a store where I had no intention of buying them something but was looking for myself. I made this clear upfront. This is a designer type boutique for adult women. Someone had a temper tantrum because she wanted $300 jeans. I told her even if I had $300 to drop I wouldn't buy them for MYSELF let alone a 10 year old. I told her when she gets a job if she wants to blow $300 on a single pair of jeans be my guest.
She kept going so I ripped her a new one. There are a lot of homeless in the OM again so I pointed to one and proceeded to check her privilege. I told her she could either change her tone and tell me what I am sure she actually wanted to say about mommy taking her on a shopping trip (THank you mommy) OR everything I bought her was going back and she'd be the one to hand it over to the cashier.
Suitably humbled or so I thought.
Well now we found out she has been making comments to my mom about how "Other grandpa is rich" when my mom tells her no on stuff. She has made comments again to me and DH about how we are "poor".
To top it off she ordered herself Grubhub while home alone. She claims she didn't know the first one wasn't free I call BS on that she knows how the internet works. I made her give me the money she got from FIL. Then she destroyed Abby's toy from Adventureland so I made her give me more money for that.
DH and I agree that we are going to take the money FIL gives Gwen. It is "our" money. We decided when she can spend it and what she is allowed to spend it on. We have also agreed that she will now pay us back for stuff like Grubhub and destroying her sister's stuff. I used to have her do it as a symbolic gesture then put it back when she was little. Now she needs to feel the burn. You want to use our bank account without our permission I get a refund.
That way FIL keeps getting to do what makes him happy but we act as the barrier between him and Gwen's overblown developing sense of entitlement.
She's also not leaving her phone on, trashing the house and using my mom as a free buffet when she is home during the week. So we are going to set rules about that as well otherwise she goes back to Kids & Co until we can no longer use it which will be fall of next year.
Since she's otherwise a good kid I figure we are getting to an age where she is really testing her boundaries. I told DH we need to nip this shit in the bud before she does something really bad/stupid because we didn't end it when it began. He agrees because look how he turned out with no rules/consequences.
She's only 10. I am dreading her turning into a teen.
Side bonus is Abby is starting to copy her.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 21, 2021 10:23:36 GMT -5
So DH said that he thinks B took it by mistake thinking it was Gwen's. They all share stuff despite my protests about lice/sanitation. Gwen has come home in a completely different outfit from several houses before.
I told him I still want Gwen to ask though. Not every parent is going to be flexible/understanding so they need to start making sure they ASK before they share. I don't want her or Gwen assuming then we end up in a neighborhood brawl. I know from experience how fast that shit can escalate so better to stop it now.
I will replace it because I don't want it back after it has been at someone else's house and used by other people. Blech. I would have replaced it anyhow if I had known they were all sharing it. What an awesome way to get pink eye.
I just want to know the truth of where it went and put both 10 year olds on alert BEFORE they do something really dumb. This is an easy life lesson learned while they both still have a place to fall.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 21, 2021 16:27:19 GMT -5
You're doing good, Drama. Gwen is definitely testing her limits as 10-yo's do. Also, 13-yo's, 15-yo's and 18-yo's. She is at an age now where she can distinguish motivations of other people. Have you tried explaining to her why her grandfather is giving her money out of the blue? Understanding might help her make better decisions about her actions elsewhere. And for the friend, I'd ask Gwen about it and make it clear that your makeup, clothing, etc. are not to be used by her or friends who might not know better, without blaming anyone.
If you were feeling generous you might treat Gwen and friend(s) to play with cheap makeup as long as they remove it before going out. When my DD was 10 I took her and her friends at her birthday party to get manicures. They went nuts, choosing designs for each nail and wild colors. They had a great time because it was special. I had originally planned on having a manicurist come to our home for the party but she canceled, since it was Pimlico weekend. Didn't want to disappoint the troops. Anyway, DD never asked again for a manicure. It was out of her system I think.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Jun 21, 2021 16:48:40 GMT -5
I ended up putting a lock on my door when my kids were that age. Just easier. There was no going in my room unless I invited you. It took one stress out of my life and was worth it to stop worrying.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Jun 21, 2021 21:33:50 GMT -5
I think you are doing fine, too, Drama. One thing that stands out to me is that you and DH are in agreement. That is great.
Did Gwen and her friend have permission to borrow your makeup initially?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 21, 2021 21:42:44 GMT -5
I think you are doing fine, too, Drama. One thing that stands out to me is that you and DH are in agreement. That is great. Did Gwen and her friend have permission to borrow your makeup initially? I think it was a misunderstanding. I had it sitting on the bathtub. B asked if she could borrow Gwen's make up and she said yes without looking. Gwen's make up is for some reason in the living room. Mine was sitting on the bathtub. It was my Lisa Frank palette so I can see why it wouldn't occur to a kid that it belonged to the adult female in the house. Definitely not a sophisticated adult looking eyeshadow pallet. Everything in my room is accounted for so it's not like she rifled through my stuff. It's a good lesson for Gwen to not blindly agree to let people borrow stuff. Make sure you actually know what they are asking about. DH went over that with her today. I replaced it today they aren't super expensive. I picked the aliens this time. It will stay in my room next time we have any of her friends over. They are all good about respecting my room.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 21, 2021 22:09:51 GMT -5
Ok now I am upset. Two of my pallets are missing. My little Bambi one is gone too.
This borrowing stuff without asking the adults in the house ends immediately.
I'm still not convinced she deliberately stole it but I'm upset. My brushes and both my birthday palettes are gone. DH pissed me off because its just make up to him. That's not the point. I'm feeling betrayed and taken advantage of.
Especially after all we did this weekend. People not giving two shots about stuff that belongs to me is a HUGE trigger doesn't matter if it's something big like my car or as small as a $10 eyeshadow.
I'm reminding myself she's just a kid which is keeping me from flying off the handle but I'm pretty upset.
I think I will take the advice of locking up my stuff when other kids are around. And I'm not sure I want them staying the night anymore either at least not without me checking bags before they leave.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 21, 2021 22:11:54 GMT -5
I'm sure you've heard of having kids split up their money between spending, saving, and giving/donating, but if you're not already doing that it sounds like your FIL just throwing out money is a good time to start. It sounds like he's giving enough where she might be able to sponsor a kid this Christmas if not a whole family. I'm a whole damn adult and seeing what some families spend on the entirety of Christmas is still humbling of where I am.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Jun 21, 2021 22:50:02 GMT -5
Drama- please lock it up when you are not around. It's not the friends who are disrespecting you, it's your child and your other one may follow what she sees her sister do. So this behavior needs to stop now. It's typical but it needs to stop. Especially as it's a trigger for you. Remind yourself how relaxed you will be not having to worry about it. Keep your makeup in your room. Lock the door.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Jun 22, 2021 6:46:33 GMT -5
Drama- first off you are doing great with your girls. But pre-teen (and earlier) are tough times. I am an admitted “old school” parent who raised 3 (mostly) well adjusted responsible young adults. Kids will challenge you. You have to recognize it and act.
On the makeup, I think it is most likely that friend took it, but Gwen was aware. I would let them know you are missing it , and you will be checking bags for it and keeping an eye on them when around. And lock it up. Basically you don’t trust them, but give them the opportunity to earn your trust.
On spending money, a 10 yo should not be spending money on items parents don’t approve of. If you don’t approve of $300 jeans, then no $300 jeans. She can have freedom over purchases, but within limits. Like max to spend on jeans is $, and you can pick out any of these pairs.
And still try to spend time with them, even when bratty. LOL. My favorite thing my daughter said when she was mid 20s was “I was kind of bratty when I was a teen.” And really she was a good kid, but there were times I could strangle her for attitude. Now she has 2 young girls. Payback is coming!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 22, 2021 7:44:23 GMT -5
Drama- first off you are doing great with your girls. But pre-teen (and earlier) are tough times. I am an admitted “old school” parent who raised 3 (mostly) well adjusted responsible young adults. Kids will challenge you. You have to recognize it and act. On the makeup, I think it is most likely that friend took it, but Gwen was aware. I would let them know you are missing it , and you will be checking bags for it and keeping an eye on them when around. And lock it up. Basically you don’t trust them, but give them the opportunity to earn your trust. On spending money, a 10 yo should not be spending money on items parents don’t approve of. If you don’t approve of $300 jeans, then no $300 jeans. She can have freedom over purchases, but within limits. Like max to spend on jeans is $, and you can pick out any of these pairs. And still try to spend time with them, even when bratty. LOL. My favorite thing my daughter said when she was mid 20s was “I was kind of bratty when I was a teen.” And really she was a good kid, but there were times I could strangle her for attitude. Now she has 2 young girls. Payback is coming! She got a talking to yesterday about her entitled attitude because she coped one again on DH. She got my scary low serious voice that even scares DH because I sound exactly like my dad. I knew as a child that if he wasn't yelling that one of us was *thisclose* to imminent death. I've let her spend money on stuff I think is stupid. She saved all her birthday money and helped dad at the business to be able to get the $50 slime shitting unicorn. Of course it did exactly what the reviews said and clogged after only a couple uses BUT she worked hard and earned it. I told her I wasn't buying it but if she could figure out a way if she wanted it bad enough she could have it. So if she pinched all her pennies for however long it took and decided to blow her entire budget on $300 jeans I wouldn't stop her. I would remind her then she's going to be walking around with no underwear, socks, or shirts because she blew it all on the jeans and I'm not going to step in to buy them for her but I'd let her make the choice. That's a lesson she should learn while she still has me as a soft place to land rather than like a former server I knew who was bitching about not being able to afford rent but showed off her $400 purse. But I am not buying them for her entitled little butt. If I don't wear $300 jeans she sure as hell isn't getting any from me. I have other priorities and preferences in life. I told her I am obligated to keep her from being naked I am NOT obligated to clothe her in the style and price range of her choice. I think I want a break from spending the night for awhile. I am fine with playdates or even taking them with us places. It's nice for Gwen to have someone her own age to hang with and go on rides that Abby can't or will make us puke. But I think I am done sharing my house for the time being.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Jun 22, 2021 10:38:51 GMT -5
Sounds like a good plan. And for what's it's worth, I handled clothes the same way at my house. One of mine didn't learn until he was 20. One figured it out by 14. The other 2 never cared about clothes either way.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jun 25, 2021 10:17:10 GMT -5
10 is when my DD started being extremely selfish too. It was a major trigger for both DH and me since we grew up going without a lot of things and she has everything she needs and then some. She's the type of kid that we could level with and just explain our point of view. Didn't fix it but gave her a bit more empathy.
Depending on body type, you may be seeing that tween attitude in combination with hormones. Deadly combo for all involved.
Sounds like the makeup issue was less stealing and more just kid sharing. Drives me batty what all my kids want to share with friends, but I'm trying not to care as much. I'm with you on the it's not too much to ask that Mommy have a few nice things that are truly hers.
DD12 is working with the neighbor on some gardening projects this summer. They insist on paying her $15/hour. Both DH and I think that's way too much, but we know we will hurt the neighbor's feelings if we push back any more than we already have. Our compromise has been that we skim $5 off the top and then from the $10 she has to put 20% in savings for car/college and 10% to charity of her choice. The neighbor respects our parenting choices enough that this won't cause an issue. It's more that they don't have kids or close relatives and are late 70s moving into a phase of getting rid of possessions including money. They have a positive influence on DD and are becoming grandparent-like. We're glad that DD is learning to work alongside someone else because it's a power struggle here with her. Maybe you could do something similar with the grandpa money.
Since you like to thrift shop, you might see if G can find the brands she wants there. Don't make it too much your idea though. We have a couple of local tween/teen thrift stores with cool teens/young adults working there. I've had good luck with getting DD to ask them for help shopping.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 25, 2021 12:19:28 GMT -5
10 is when my DD started being extremely selfish too. It was a major trigger for both DH and me since we grew up going without a lot of things and she has everything she needs and then some. She's the type of kid that we could level with and just explain our point of view. Didn't fix it but gave her a bit more empathy. Depending on body type, you may be seeing that tween attitude in combination with hormones. Deadly combo for all involved. Sounds like the makeup issue was less stealing and more just kid sharing. Drives me batty what all my kids want to share with friends, but I'm trying not to care as much. I'm with you on the it's not too much to ask that Mommy have a few nice things that are truly hers. DD12 is working with the neighbor on some gardening projects this summer. They insist on paying her $15/hour. Both DH and I think that's way too much, but we know we will hurt the neighbor's feelings if we push back any more than we already have. Our compromise has been that we skim $5 off the top and then from the $10 she has to put 20% in savings for car/college and 10% to charity of her choice. The neighbor respects our parenting choices enough that this won't cause an issue. It's more that they don't have kids or close relatives and are late 70s moving into a phase of getting rid of possessions including money. They have a positive influence on DD and are becoming grandparent-like. We're glad that DD is learning to work alongside someone else because it's a power struggle here with her. Maybe you could do something similar with the grandpa money. Since you like to thrift shop, you might see if G can find the brands she wants there. Don't make it too much your idea though. We have a couple of local tween/teen thrift stores with cool teens/young adults working there. I've had good luck with getting DD to ask them for help shopping. We are in that phase where thrift stores are "icky" and she doesn't want the "shame" of wearing stuff people already owned. I have turned her on a little bit to "vintage' though. She is getting to be my size and vintage tends to run smaller we have a few stores here I like to hit that are affordable. Which I get because I remember the popular girls would all carry their stuff in bags from various "expensive" stores to show off. I was incredibly jealous and embarassed about my Target stuff. It wasn't until I was in my 30's and the clerk at VS gave me an extra bag because Abby wanted a pretty pink bag for her stuff that it dawned on me I could have faked a good bit of it all that time. She got a pretty big dressing down from me about that and has backed off for the time being. She won't be finding Gucci or Coach in thrift stores here. I DID buy her a roller ball Gucci perfume for Christmas though. There are ways to have "designer" without the giant price tag but she wants the clothes to show off. I largely blame YouTube for this one.
The attitude is getting bad though. We're also entering the phase where she doesn't like us, in particular DH. It does not help that he has been Disney dad for most of her life. Now was not the ideal time for him to mature and finally get on the parenting wagon. She's going to be REALLY trying to push her boundaries with him now compared to me. So she's being extra hard on him the other day she slammed her bedroom door in his face. I told him to leave her alone and that this is a normal part of growing up. If you don't have at least one instance where your kid "hates" you then you aren't doing your job.
She's turning to wanting her mother more, which is also normal. We did have a talk about it's not nice to slam the door in daddy's face. I get he was irritating you but you are capable of using your words. Instead simply ask him to please leave you alone. You are going to learn how to deal with your emotions. That got the door slammed in my face.
I let her go, if she wants to lock herself in her room then so be it. I told DH trust me eventually she will emerge to see why we aren't responding. Just like when she was two it's an attention thing. Sure enough a couple hours later she was on the couch snugged up with me. All was forgiven. I am there for her but she's going to learn boundaries. I'm also not going to be one of those parents that takes her door off the wall. She's allowed a safe space to cool off.
In other news B does have my make up we got ahold of her. Yes it was a misunderstanding about borrowing stuff. I told Gwen to please ask her to bring it back next time she is over here. I likely won't use it especially the eye make up but I expect the attempt made to return it. DH thinks I should let her keep it but I reminded him we need to stop the "borrowing" before they do something stupid like "borrow" a phone or a car when they get older then something happens. Let them learn the lesson now cheaply.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jun 26, 2021 21:10:49 GMT -5
Blurgh - M went to a birthday party at a local pool for a daycare friend. I asked the mom what he wanted/needed and she said no gift needed, just her going was enough. I got him a birthday card, had M sign it and write his name, and we took that. Every other kid brought a gift and they opened gifts during the party. 🤦♀️🤷♀️ Seriously - I would have put in a gift card or gotten him something if I had known that. I don’t know if I’m the only one who asked or no one else listened.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jun 27, 2021 12:17:38 GMT -5
All of our invites lately say no gifts, but I usually go ahead and get one anyway. I figure it means the parents want less junk, so DD12 has taken to getting her friends their favorite candies and a $10 gift card to the smoothie place they all like. She's started using a hair turban after every shower, and I think I'm going to pick up several for our gift box to have on hand. I could see several of her friends liking them.
TCU - I wouldn't worry about it though. You followed what the mom told you and likely no one noticed.
Anyone have a good way to store nail polish? Ours are in a ziploc bag - thinking a tackle box might be the way to go. The girls are doing their nails at least once a week this summer. They copied the pedicures we got and have a couple small paint brushes that they use to paint with and then dip them in acetone to clean up their splotches.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Jun 28, 2021 1:53:35 GMT -5
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jun 28, 2021 7:19:05 GMT -5
All of my too many nail polishes are in those small plastic shoe box size boxes. I think they are like $1 at Target or Walmart. They stack well for those of us with um addictions.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jun 28, 2021 10:31:05 GMT -5
Drama (and TCU) my kids were brought up being told that we invited friends and family to celebrate the event (Birthday, Christmas etc., but everyone had different financial situations and obligations. We told the kids that gifts were nice and they should always be gracious and thank the gift giver for their gifts even if it was not something they wanted/needed or if they did not get a gift it was not something to be commented on. I apparently was more diligent in reviewing this mandate with my kids than I remember b/c now that they are adults both kids have reminded me of this if I asked what they received from various friends and relatives for Graduation gifts. I would just explain to your DD that her Grandma can not afford to give her regular gifts, and if she does she may deny herself something she really needs to allow room in her budget for DD's wants. Dh and I feel that my Mother does not have to watch her budget too closely - but I know she does, so I try not to push her to overspend.
I don't think my DD and her friends ever touched my makeup. I have always used Clinique- it may be that they just were not very interested...but I always bought DD whatever makeup she wanted. I have told my DD not to share makeup, but I don't know if she does or not. I am going to ask her just out of curiosity. DD has one friend that is Indian, another that is Black, DD is half Mexican, and her other good friend from the neighborhood is a white girl like me. The may not have shared makeup just b/c their skin tones were all different. We do know of several relatives that my MIL has always claimed stole stuff from her house when they visited. We also have relatives that have less income than us, and had relatives with drinking or addiction problems. I always tried to take all our coins the the bank and have them counted and deposited before a party. Our Bedroom Door has a lock, and I usually lock my bedroom during a party. MIL also locks her bedroom during parties and always gives me the key and tells me to lock my purse when I come in during a party.
My kids rooms have locks, and they were told when they were kids that their toys were expensive and or fragile and they did not have to let their cousins play with their stuff. They could choose to kick everyone out of their rooms and lock the doors if they wanted, but I really preferred they just locked the doors at the beginning. When my DD was college age, I could not always get her to clean her room put her clothing away, and sometimes she might have been studying or doing and on-line exam...so I just told her if she did not get her room cleaned in time for the party, she needed to lock her door.
My husband lost his wedding ring and another ring after a family party. He swears one of my adult nephews took it. My SIL (His step mother) says his brother stole her and her DH's Wedding rings, so it is possible someone took it. If someone did, I think it was the brother, not the one DH accuses. I choose to think we lost them. It has been many years, so we don't expect to ever see them again, but this is part of the reason my skin is so thick - we lock the doors if we feel like it, and don't worry about what anyone thinks. I also try to go through the part of my house and cull out anything that might walk away and put it in the locked area.
You are doing good with teaching your kids the value of money - I was a parental failure in that realm, so I think they are going to have to struggle a bit more as adults. DD just culled her closet, and she probably tossed some nice stuff. I would have sent it to you to go through for you or your DD if the timing was better. Try e-bay for a used purse for DD. Just look at the pics closely. My DD would shop at Goodwill for items to complete a Halloween Costume or maybe something for sprit week. We were not big on thrift stores, but never taught our kids to scorn used stuff. Grandma would go to rummage sales with them when she babysat for them, and my Husband and I would occasionally shop a garage sale. Most of our kids stuff was new, but every so often they got something slightly used. The friends do share stuff back and forth too. You can try to tell them that you are trying to "Save the Planet" by Re-using and Re-cycling too.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 28, 2021 12:27:23 GMT -5
Some of my favorite memories are going to flea markets and yard sales with my grandma. I still remember the embossed leather little change purse she got me when I was about 7.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jun 28, 2021 13:31:11 GMT -5
Some of my favorite memories are going to flea markets and yard sales with my grandma. I still remember the embossed leather little change purse she got me when I was about 7. My Grandma lived in a small town, We used to spend 2 weeks every summer with her, so we did not go to a lot of rummage sales with her, but I do remember going to one with her. I also treasure the memory.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jun 28, 2021 16:37:23 GMT -5
Drama I would have been LIVID if some of my Stuff had "disappeared" after a play date! I think you're absolutely right to want to get those palettes back, even if you end up tossing them.
And personally I WOULD toss them, because giving them to your DD would be sending the wrong message, IMO.
Your DD shouldn't have been sharing YOUR possessions, and these days, she probably shoudn't be sharing make-up with friends either.
Other thought: could you get her Q-tips for sharing HER stuff (but not yours!) so they don't use the same brushes?
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jun 28, 2021 16:46:03 GMT -5
We have a brand-new granddaughter, born 25 May! Unfortunately she's in the UK and we haven't been able to meet her yet because of Covid restrictions. They arrive in 2 weeks.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jun 30, 2021 20:40:12 GMT -5
Well, I did something awfully stupid. I told Carrot how much this endoscopy was going to cost when discussing with him whether or not he really needed it. The doctors told us back in May that if he was better to just cancel the appointment, so with it coming up Friday I've been asking him rather frequently lately. He is never complaining about his throat at all anymore and I asked his dad if he said anything when he had him the last 3 days and no, he hadn't. But if I ask him, and he thinks about it, he says he still has a little cough, so no, it's not better. Tonight I was like, "are you SURE, because this is going to run 3K"? Then he said, "oh, then definitely not, I'll be fine". WHY did I do that? Seriously, money is no object for any healthcare he needs, and I want him to tell me when something is wrong but I just hate the thought of unnecessary testing, and he seems 100% fine to me. He hasn't been complaining about difficulty swallowing or anything like that for weeks. Also, little does he know, but this procedure also involves sedation and probably with an IV. Good lord, if you all knew the hell just a flu shot was the thought of an IV
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CCL
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 19:34:47 GMT -5
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Post by CCL on Jun 30, 2021 21:13:22 GMT -5
Drama (and TCU) my kids were brought up being told that we invited friends and family to celebrate the event (Birthday, Christmas etc., but everyone had different financial situations and obligations. We told the kids that gifts were nice and they should always be gracious and thank the gift giver for their gifts even if it was not something they wanted/needed or if they did not get a gift it was not something to be commented on. I apparently was more diligent in reviewing this mandate with my kids than I remember b/c now that they are adults both kids have reminded me of this if I asked what they received from various friends and relatives for Graduation gifts. I would just explain to your DD that her Grandma can not afford to give her regular gifts, and if she does she may deny herself something she really needs to allow room in her budget for DD's wants. Dh and I feel that my Mother does not have to watch her budget too closely - but I know she does, so I try not to push her to overspend. I don't think my DD and her friends ever touched my makeup. I have always used Clinique- it may be that they just were not very interested...but I always bought DD whatever makeup she wanted. I have told my DD not to share makeup, but I don't know if she does or not. I am going to ask her just out of curiosity. DD has one friend that is Indian, another that is Black, DD is half Mexican, and her other good friend from the neighborhood is a white girl like me. The may not have shared makeup just b/c their skin tones were all different. We do know of several relatives that my MIL has always claimed stole stuff from her house when they visited. We also have relatives that have less income than us, and had relatives with drinking or addiction problems. I always tried to take all our coins the the bank and have them counted and deposited before a party. Our Bedroom Door has a lock, and I usually lock my bedroom during a party. MIL also locks her bedroom during parties and always gives me the key and tells me to lock my purse when I come in during a party. My kids rooms have locks, and they were told when they were kids that their toys were expensive and or fragile and they did not have to let their cousins play with their stuff. They could choose to kick everyone out of their rooms and lock the doors if they wanted, but I really preferred they just locked the doors at the beginning. When my DD was college age, I could not always get her to clean her room put her clothing away, and sometimes she might have been studying or doing and on-line exam...so I just told her if she did not get her room cleaned in time for the party, she needed to lock her door. My husband lost his wedding ring and another ring after a family party. He swears one of my adult nephews took it. My SIL (His step mother) says his brother stole her and her DH's Wedding rings, so it is possible someone took it. If someone did, I think it was the brother, not the one DH accuses. I choose to think we lost them. It has been many years, so we don't expect to ever see them again, but this is part of the reason my skin is so thick - we lock the doors if we feel like it, and don't worry about what anyone thinks. I also try to go through the part of my house and cull out anything that might walk away and put it in the locked area. You are doing good with teaching your kids the value of money - I was a parental failure in that realm, so I think they are going to have to struggle a bit more as adults. DD just culled her closet, and she probably tossed some nice stuff. I would have sent it to you to go through for you or your DD if the timing was better. Try e-bay for a used purse for DD. Just look at the pics closely. My DD would shop at Goodwill for items to complete a Halloween Costume or maybe something for sprit week. We were not big on thrift stores, but never taught our kids to scorn used stuff. Grandma would go to rummage sales with them when she babysat for them, and my Husband and I would occasionally shop a garage sale. Most of our kids stuff was new, but every so often they got something slightly used. The friends do share stuff back and forth too. You can try to tell them that you are trying to "Save the Planet" by Re-using and Re-cycling too. I understand kids screw up, but if I ever thought an adult stole anything from my house they would not be coming back. I don't care a bit who it is!
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
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Post by finnime on Jun 30, 2021 21:38:32 GMT -5
Well, I did something awfully stupid. I told Carrot how much this endoscopy was going to cost when discussing with him whether or not he really needed it. The doctors told us back in May that if he was better to just cancel the appointment, so with it coming up Friday I've been asking him rather frequently lately. He is never complaining about his throat at all anymore and I asked his dad if he said anything when he had him the last 3 days and no, he hadn't. But if I ask him, and he thinks about it, he says he still has a little cough, so no, it's not better. Tonight I was like, "are you SURE, because this is going to run 3K"? Then he said, "oh, then definitely not, I'll be fine". WHY did I do that? Seriously, money is no object for any healthcare he needs, and I want him to tell me when something is wrong but I just hate the thought of unnecessary testing, and he seems 100% fine to me. He hasn't been complaining about difficulty swallowing or anything like that for weeks. Also, little does he know, but this procedure also involves sedation and probably with an IV. Good lord, if you all knew the hell just a flu shot was the thought of an IV So the $ is just another way of saying to him this is a Big Deal. And it is, especially because he's needle shy and doesn't seem to be symptomatic. Watchful waiting is a valid medical approach to take on your part. And on his part, the message of it being a Big Deal is important. Schedule with him a 3 months from now day to check in and ask him how he's doing, then let it go.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Jul 1, 2021 6:34:23 GMT -5
He has a regular doctor appointment this morning for a physical for camp in a couple weeks and I'm going to talk to her about it. I did the intake paperwork for the appointment with the ENT tomorrow and it had nothing about prep or anything saying you couldn't drive or what not that you would expect with being sedated, so I wonder if what they are planning is something different than what urgent care made it out to be?
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azucena
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
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Post by azucena on Jul 1, 2021 7:26:34 GMT -5
If the symptoms are gone, there is no reason to do a test like that. If they come back, you can always reschedule. And double checking with his dad was smart - I'd think it would come up while he's staying with him if it was still an issue.
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azucena
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Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
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Post by azucena on Jul 1, 2021 7:30:45 GMT -5
DD12 is playing on a freshman bball team this summer. It's a whole new world of bball and likely shows that she doesn't want to compete at that level. But man if she didn't rebound her best game last night. She was right in there with her body boxing out girls who outweigh her by 50-60 lbs and have 4-5 inches on her. It was so cool to watch. Even the coach said she had the most rebounds by far. This from my non-aggressive girl. And she put up two points same as the first game. She's never going to be a leading scorer, but both times she was wide open off the pass and went right up with it. Usually she pauses to think first. So much fun to watch how far she's come given the work she's put in. She was laughing that her school season may feel like playing against kindergarteners after this.
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