NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Apr 4, 2020 20:04:56 GMT -5
I am so sorry NomoreDramaQ1015 No words as there is no excuse for behavior like this sending you a whole lot of virtual hugs...
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 4, 2020 20:07:45 GMT -5
If you are going to go all Fight Club then fine but do it in the parking lot. You do not do it in front of all of us. Especially your 9 year old granddaughter/niece.
My mom said she doesn't care what happens to either one of them at this point. We said she can come over here if she needs to.
It's bad enough that I have to go to my regular job right now. My boss and another co-worker (who has been there longer) are at each other's throats, they've always had bad blood but it's simmering at the surface with everything going on. I had to leave for lunch yesterday because they got in a shouting match with each other. I understand why there are no windows, you might try to escape off the roof.
Now this. While Saturdays have been tough work wise I have been happy. The two of them managed to take away one of the few bright spots I got right now in all this. Thanks a lot.
We will not be going over there for awhile. Social distancing is in full effect for more than one reason. Hope this was all worth it they've possibly done irreversible damage to their relationship with the girls. DH and I are not making any final decisions right now because our emotions are running high too. However we have agreed that I quit until they get their shit together. I will stay home with the children.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Apr 4, 2020 20:10:03 GMT -5
Hi all. Just checking in. Since they blocked this site at work i haven’t been on much.
Working like crazy - crisis communications is actually a crazy place to be in a crisis. Who knew. DH is getting furloughed half-time starting in a week. We are hoping it doesn’t wind up in layoffs.
I was making progress on my job search finally but that’s all gone to shit. The good news is they can’t fire me - we are working 70+ hour weeks since it all went to shit.
Homeschooling has been a disaster as both DH and I have been more than full time at work and everything’s an emergency. But given that’s e are better off than 99% of other people right now, nothing to do but hold on tight. Both girls are ok but it’s a struggle to keep them from going crazy. I’m starting to feel personally victimized by the weather.
I hope everyone is well. Miss you guys.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 5, 2020 10:04:51 GMT -5
Not that we are anywhere close to pulling the trigger on this but if we get a service dog that will be a family pet but obviously ds needs/access to the dog would supersede dd's, is a consolation prize for dd a good idea and if so what? Dh thinks we need to get 2 dogs and I don't think I can do that. 1 dog and 1 cat seem to be my happy medium after 15 years of running a home petting zoo and we already have a cat.
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oped
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Post by oped on Apr 5, 2020 10:09:06 GMT -5
I will only say that sometimes 2 dogs are easier than 1 in that they entertain and love on each other when the humans are otherwise occupied... sometimes.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2020 12:07:40 GMT -5
I will only say that sometimes 2 dogs are easier than 1 in that they entertain and love on each other when the humans are otherwise occupied... sometimes. The main bad thing I've noticed from 2 dog families (at least in the country), is with two dogs they tend to wander off more. They got their buddy and go on adventures. With one they are more apt to stay home.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Apr 5, 2020 12:41:23 GMT -5
We have three dogs now. I think two dogs similar in age and temperament would be good, if they get along.
But we don't have any dogs that are service dogs, so I'm not sure how that dynamic would work with one dog needing to be alert to DS's needs and the other wanting to play, etc.
I would start with just the service dog and evaluate from there.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Apr 5, 2020 15:02:41 GMT -5
I will only say that sometimes 2 dogs are easier than 1 in that they entertain and love on each other when the humans are otherwise occupied... sometimes. That might be true in most cases but since Rae is going to get a service dog, a second dog may be too much of a distraction? I would check with the group that trains service dogs before even considering adding a second dog. Also, I don't think that a service dog can or should be considered a family pet? They are working dogs. I will admit that I don't know enough about service dogs to make a definite statement (hence my question marks) but this is something to look into prior to making any decisions.
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oped
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Post by oped on Apr 5, 2020 15:25:12 GMT -5
Service dog? Or emotional support animal?
Good point to research!!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 5, 2020 15:37:03 GMT -5
And now they are trying to get everyone to take sides. Neither one of them is right. They are adults and could have settled things in an adult manner but instead chose to act like HS students in the Walgreens parking lot (where people would go to fight in HS since it was off school property)
I took a side, MY side. I quit.
Maybe someday I will go back but at least not for the next few weeks. I get enough of this drama (minus the fist fighting so far) at my regular job. I am not going to have to worry about my family decking each other while trying to serve customers. They get along without me the other 5 days we are open they can manage Saturdays. If they can't, oh well that is what you get for creating a seriously hostile working environment.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Apr 5, 2020 16:40:38 GMT -5
Service dog? Or emotional support animal? Good point to research!! I thought the dog was to raise the alarm when the blood sugar levels were out of wack, but I might be incorrect and it is meant to help Rae's deal with his diabetes?
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oped
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Post by oped on Apr 5, 2020 17:22:07 GMT -5
Service dog? Or emotional support animal? Good point to research!! I thought the dog was to raise the alarm when the blood sugar levels were out of wack, but I might be incorrect and it is meant to help Rae's deal with his diabetes? In that case it’s not really a family pet I don’t think? as someone said.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 5, 2020 17:52:48 GMT -5
I don't know anyone with kids who has a diabetes service dog that isn't a family pet. I have talked to people who know those families, but dd is excited to help train and any animal is the adults responsibility so....family dog who actually earns it keep.
The trainer we are following has at least 2 dogs right now but I think 3.
I'm not worried on those fronts. Diabetes alert dogs arent glued to their person like guide dogs or animals that provide physical assistance. They just have to be close enough to smell them.
Im more concerned about having our focus split, puppy destruction x2, more cleaning/pet care and just the complication of life in general with multiple animals. Been there, done that.
Dd is amazing at making sure ds gets what he needs even when it means she has to wait (and wait) to get what she needs. I don't want to take advantage of that disposition because I know it takes a toll. But I'm not sure a 2nd dog is the right consolation prize (or at least not one I can handle).
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oped
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Post by oped on Apr 5, 2020 18:12:40 GMT -5
I would definitely check with the trainer, but i would think a second dog could be a distraction from the training, unless both were doing the same training?
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ednkris
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Post by ednkris on Apr 5, 2020 20:28:12 GMT -5
We had a yellow lab that was trained to watch my wife walk. She had a several operations and a fall could cause her to lose her leg. While we had him we started to rescue dogs never had a problem with him doing his job. To be honest tho he was trained to do alot of things in 3 languages including hand commands.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Apr 5, 2020 23:39:39 GMT -5
Instead of a consolation prize, per se, Rae, is there something you could do to focus extra attention on your daughter (once you can venture out again)? Maybe a parent-daughter day - depending on her interests, spa, amusement park, zoo, whatever?
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Apr 6, 2020 8:20:28 GMT -5
Instead of a consolation prize, per se, Rae, is there something you could do to focus extra attention on your daughter (once you can venture out again)? Maybe a parent-daughter day - depending on her interests, spa, amusement park, zoo, whatever? I don't think a consolation prize needs to be another animal.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 6, 2020 8:35:23 GMT -5
Drama, I'm so very sorry that your dad and brother are being fuckwits.
How are the girls holding up? Gwen especially, since she saw it?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 6, 2020 9:24:26 GMT -5
Drama, I'm so very sorry that your dad and brother are being fuckwits.
How are the girls holding up? Gwen especially, since she saw it?
Abby has no clue what is going on. Gwen bounced back a lot faster than either I or DH have. She understands that I have stopped working there for the time being and that she will not be going out with DH from now on. We're across the street so unless they boil over to my house (which DH has made clear is a firm no) then we are isolated from whatever happens across the street. Brother is staying with his girlfriend at the moment. What happens after this IDK.
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mollyc
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Post by mollyc on Apr 8, 2020 0:56:16 GMT -5
Message to children from Lego Justin Trudeau because I'm a sucker for Lego stop motion
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2020 7:45:13 GMT -5
I'm not sure if I've mentioned this but Ex 2.0 stresses me out. More than this damn virus honestly.
Last night I got home from work and Carrot hadn't finished his homework, so I told him he needed to get that done and then we'd go on a walk...which he wanted to do. While he's working on it, his Dad texts him wanting to talk and Carrot replies "I have to do homework right now". Almost immediately after his phone rings and Carrot again tells him the same thing, "I need to do this homework". I hear Carrot tell him "no, it's not due until next week, but Mom says get it done tonight". So, he tells Carrot to hand the phone to me at which point he gives me the third degree about how he should be able to take a few minutes to talk to his Dad and it's not THAT important that he gets it done right this minute. Ok. First of all. I NEVER told Carrot he couldn't talk to his Dad, that was all him. He never ran it by me asking if it was ok. And yes, his assignments aren't due until next week, but that's because they only have one pick up/drop off date for school work. He gets new things every day, so letting it pile up (especially his daily journal) is not a good idea. I read his phone texts later and his Dad was going on about how he pays me enough that I should be able to afford a few minutes of time on his phone, that it probably only cost pennies. This is stemming from me coming home a couple weeks ago and kicking Carrot off the phone with his Dad when they were playing MONOPOLY together over the phone. It's not like I told him he couldn't use his phone to call his Dad, just that there were a lot better ways to spend hours communicating with him for something like that because I do pay for minutes on his phone. I set him up with google hangouts to play board games as soon as I'd kicked him off the phone that day. Ok, done with my daily vent about him.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 8, 2020 8:17:31 GMT -5
Is ex 2 following your state's rules for staying at home or is he essential services too?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2020 8:21:41 GMT -5
Is ex 2 following your state's rules for staying at home or is he essential services too?
He works in WI, but essential. The vast majority of the companies here are still running.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Apr 8, 2020 10:15:57 GMT -5
minnesotapaintlady, your Ex2.0 is a dick. He takes himself into consideration first every time. You're doing good by Carrot.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 8, 2020 10:24:48 GMT -5
minnesotapaintlady , your Ex2.0 is a dick. He takes himself into consideration first every time. You're doing good by Carrot. This MPL. You are a good mom to Carrot. Sounds like Carrot didn't want to talk to his dad last night and it was easier for him to say mom says my homework has to get done and the so-called adult could not accept that.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2020 12:01:25 GMT -5
I am just so sick of him attaching all these hidden meanings to everything. I knew the second that phone rang after Carrot texted back that he had to do homework that he was pissed off. Would it have been so hard to just reply to his text "Ok, can you give me a call when you're done so we can talk a few minutes" instead of immediately calling anyhow to give me the whole parental alienation speech?
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 8, 2020 12:09:22 GMT -5
C's scooter is arriving today. Yay! I have at least 2 packages with books for K. So I'm set for Easter baskets.
ETA - Thanks NomoreDramaQ1015 for the reminder about the latest Rick Riordan Presents book. I ordered that yesterday too for K.
ETA2 - I still have no idea what we're eating for Easter dinner.
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 8, 2020 12:14:48 GMT -5
I am just so sick of him attaching all these hidden meanings to everything. I knew the second that phone rang after Carrot texted back that he had to do homework that he was pissed off. Would it have been so hard to just reply to his text "Ok, can you give me a call when you're done so we can talk a few minutes" instead of immediately calling anyhow to give me the whole parental alienation speech?
Maybe not answer? Try to force him into text or voice mail? Or does that just make everything harder for you?
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Apr 8, 2020 12:34:45 GMT -5
My husband better figure out soon that dicking around on his phone all day is driving me crazy. Particularly since he's going to undo all of the progress we made during the last few months when it was us as a team against his illness and recovery. Yes, I've made myself clear but he still doesn't get it. And he's furloughed with all kinds of free time while I'm working 50 hours per week from home doing very stressful work.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 8, 2020 13:01:18 GMT -5
Rather annoyed at Gwen's teacher right now. With me having to come into work and DH adjusting to working from home (which only started last week) we have not been focusing on school work. From what the packets said and what I've been reading from our Governor Iowa is not making home school mandatory at this time, which likely has to do with large parts of the state being rural enough they don't have the bandwith capable to handle it.
It's up to individual teachers/school systems. I have recieved NOTHING official from our school system about it at this time, I check every day.
I did get an email from Abby's teacher. I sent it to DH to handle which he did not so I got a phone call today. Let DH have it and told him to please tell her I can't do this because I have to report to work. HE needs to be in charge of it.
Have heard nothing from Gwen's teacher. .. till today. Apparently she has been handing out assignments and meetings on GWEN'S email. How the hell am I supposed to know that?! Yes Gwen is responsible for her own work but at the same time she is NINE and this is a whole new uncharted territory for all of us. I am rather pissed she did not send anything to my email. I have to give them umpteen means of communication with me for crying out loud.
So I called DH again and told him to find Gwen's Chromebook and from now on she is going to have to spend time during the day online checking her email and doing work because apparently now at least for her teacher it's "required".
It's April WHY can't they just end school? They are in kindergarten and fourth grade the world is not going to end and their college futures are not going to be impacted if they lose a couple months of learning.
I am so tired and out of shits to give.
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