Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2011 21:38:46 GMT -5
So, I am getting married in 6 days, and we plan to start trying for kids soon after. We have lived together for some time and we have a house together. I am not changing my name, btw. We already live together and I am on his insurance as a domestic partner and they know we are getting married so the taxes will be different. Anything else I should be looking at?
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krr627
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Post by krr627 on May 7, 2011 22:53:49 GMT -5
Congrats on your upcoming wedding! What about re-titling cars to include each other, joining bank accounts? Updating wills?
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busymom
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Post by busymom on May 7, 2011 22:55:34 GMT -5
Best wishes to the both of you! This has been covered in a different thread, but just be aware that for all the joys that children will bring you, they are a full-time job all by themselves. (Mine always got sick & puked around 2 or 3 am when they were little. Now that they're older, it's all those after-school activities that keep you up late at night.) It sounds like you've got your house & health insurance lined up. I would suggest setting up an emergency fund, and life insurance policies on both of you. Have you sat down & discussed financial goals? Often with a couple, one is a saver & one is a spender. Be prepared to compromise. I'm rereading this post & realizing I'm sounding more like my Dad all the time. Enjoy your big day!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2011 11:06:41 GMT -5
We have a couple joint accounts and 2 "personal" accounts. I do need to make a will and update my beneficiary info. We do have a small EF, and we have sat down and talked about goals and we each have an allowance. We do have an annual budget we use. We are suppose to have a monthly money meeting but that has not always happened.
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mizbear
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Stand back. I have a budget, and I know how to use it.
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Post by mizbear on May 8, 2011 16:36:05 GMT -5
gin- Put everything in writing. Make sure that your family knows our wished and that in case something happens later, you already have it written down. If I had done this, I would have been covered when I got sick.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2011 18:15:08 GMT -5
Mizbear, we make health care directives when we moved to buffalo and I have had one since I turned 18.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on May 11, 2011 12:14:11 GMT -5
Life insurance? Make sure that each of you is the beneficiary(assuming that's your wish).
Beef up the EF. Let's say you conceive right away and have the baby and for whatever reason are unable to go back to work. A worst case scenario but could be applied to anything.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 11, 2011 13:22:49 GMT -5
Gin! Yay! So excited for you!! This weekend, right?
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cael
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Post by cael on May 11, 2011 13:28:23 GMT -5
Congrats!! ;D
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mizbear
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Post by mizbear on May 12, 2011 14:24:00 GMT -5
Gin- HUGS and congrats!
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gawgagranny
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Post by gawgagranny on May 12, 2011 15:32:31 GMT -5
Gin, congrats to you and your soon-to-be DH!!
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on May 14, 2011 20:46:39 GMT -5
Well, six days from May 7 would have been yesterday... Congratulations! I hope everything went the way you wanted it to!
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dancinmama
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Post by dancinmama on May 14, 2011 21:19:16 GMT -5
gin: Hey gal. You're an old married woman by now. Wishing you and DH many happy years together.
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MN-Investor
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Post by MN-Investor on May 14, 2011 23:40:36 GMT -5
If you have 401(k) or IRAs, make sure your spouse is the beneficiary. If your personal accounts are in individual names, either convert them to joint accounts or make them payable on death. That avoids probate.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on May 16, 2011 11:58:38 GMT -5
Gin, I hope the wedding was wonderful! Let us know how it was... Congratulations!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 16, 2011 12:51:04 GMT -5
Gin, we need an update! Surely you can't be doing anything important like enjoying your honeymoon
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 16, 2011 15:30:15 GMT -5
Congrats Gin! I hope you had a beautiful day.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on May 16, 2011 18:59:14 GMT -5
Gin, You should be married by now, so congratulations! You sound like you are in exactly the same situation DH and I were in when we got married. In our 30s, had been living together, wanted to start trying to kids pretty soon. So on that note, be prepared if the kid thing happens quickly.
We got married in August. I went off of my birthcontrol in September. We thought it might take awhile, which is why we decided to try soon. We didn't want to pressure ourselves. We started really actively trying in January (which only amounted to DTD one time because of various factors), and that one time was all it took. I knew I was pregnant by the first week of February. Just be prepared if it does happen quickly.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2011 0:03:02 GMT -5
Hi all, I just got in but had to come update. We got married on the 13th and went to hawaii for our honeymoon. It was lovely, as was the wedding itself. Firebird, I almost called you and Startsmart and told you to get your butt down there but I was not sure how that would be taken. I have some pics on fb and will have more soon. Kgb18, I just went off mine, and I hope to get prego within 5 months (would work best with school stuff) but we are not trying, per se. But I am a little scared, everything is not perfect and though I know it never will be but I wish I could make it so. Skubikky- I am trying to get into grad school so we were living on my fiance's income and used mine for class expenses and to save for the wedding. The only problem is if I do not get my tuition waved but still get in the masters because we can afford either classes or childcare without SL. If I do not get my tuition waved I will have to take SL. We just started getting my DH disability insurance and will get life when I get prego. Mn-Investor, thanks for the reminder, I'll do that tomorrow.
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❤ mollymouser ❤
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on May 24, 2011 1:16:20 GMT -5
Congratulations!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 24, 2011 10:19:23 GMT -5
Congrats, gin! I'm so happy for you!!!
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on May 26, 2011 13:04:17 GMT -5
Hey girl....congratulations. Many, many years of happiness to you and your newly minted DH.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 26, 2011 13:12:38 GMT -5
Mawwage... mawwage is what bwings us togevah... today.
That DWEAM... wivin a DWEAM.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on May 26, 2011 14:11:52 GMT -5
Gin congrats, my advise is to start now taking prenatal vitamins. Folic acid is important before conception to prevent birth defects so start right away. Take all your vitamins your doctor recommends but at least Folic Acid and some B vitamins every day they are water soluble so you can't overdose like you could with some oil soluble vitamins, any you don't use are released everyday so you body doesn't stockpile. Your doctor can recommend diet and exercise along with vitamins and minerals to give your baby the best chance of being free of defects.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 26, 2011 14:20:02 GMT -5
Gin congrats, my advise is to start now taking prenatal vitamins. Folic acid is important before conception to prevent birth defects so start right away.
So it's true then that once you're married the babies just magically start coming?
*makes a mental note to drink a lot in the next four months*
;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2011 15:15:59 GMT -5
Cronewitch, I looked up what the amount of each vitamin I should be taking and found that 1 Flintstones kids chewable has what I need, crazy. It is much cheaper than the real prenatals. I am suppose to eating better and working out, I am getting better on the eating well. Still not well on the working out. I also am working on destressing (that one is hard). Firebird, I did that on the honeymoon and the before, lol. Vodka is yummy.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 26, 2011 15:27:18 GMT -5
How was the honeymoon? Where did you go?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 26, 2011 15:44:09 GMT -5
A good idea is to visit with your gyno to make sure all the downstairs plumbing is working and ask questions, they can tell you if you need to do anything before you start TTC. I combined that into my yearly exam and killed two birds with one stone. Don't work yourself into a pretzel trying to get into the "ideal" shape for pregnancy. Pregnancy and TTC is one of those things that you can do everything right and shit still happens. It's a good idea to be in overall good health, but don't sweat it too much if you are not working out on a regular basis and eating perfectly balanced meals every time you sit down to a meal. Flintstones are also totally acceptable in place of pre-natals as long as they line up with what you need. I can't digest most vitamins and pre-natals made me really sick. I was already taking Flintstones so I just kept taking them. My Ob said she recommends them often because it's easier to chew them than for some women to swallow a pre-natal, some of the pre-natals on the market are horsepills!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 26, 2011 15:47:55 GMT -5
don't smoke, refrain from drinking (and DH should do the last two as well)
Smoking I get, but how come the husband can't drink? Just curious. I didn't even know about the kitty litter thing until recently, so I have a lot to learn before I'm ready to start TTC.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 26, 2011 15:49:35 GMT -5
Smoking I get, but how come the husband can't drink? Just curious.It messes with their sperm count/quality just like it does women. In the grand scheme of things he'd probably have to drink a shitload of alcohol and regularly for it to really affect trying for a baby. And if he drinks that much you should probably think twice about having a baby with him in the first place. Also a lot of stuff you read about is for couples who are having reproductive problems already. So take some TTC advice with a grain of salt. I got myself into a frenzy over some of it till t he ladies on WIR pointed out that I do not have reproductive/TTC issues. Doesn't do any harm to follow it, but if you are a Type A obessesive personality like mine sometimes it's better to just put the book down and walk away.
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