Clothing allowance for teenager

[azucena]

Jul 3, 2024 10:14:35 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jul 3, 2024 9:59:41 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

50% seems like a lot to me.   "expert" advise is to save at least 10% of your income long term savings or 20% if you want to stretch it.   I wouldn't have them save more than that.   The actual dollars saved are not really going to move the needle and my concern would be that requiring a 50% savings rate would disincentive them for saving in the future.  I would ask them to save 10-20% for college and then let them make their mistakes and learn how to manage the rest.    

"Expert" advice on savings percentage also includes percentages for housing and a lot of adult expenses. Unless you are requiring rent payments, etc you are really warping spending habits if the kid is spending 90% of income on wants.

Appreciate what you're saying Archie but I was thinking more like bill.

And it's not really about saving for college tuition, it's more about saving so they have a personal cash cushion as they start college and have 'living on their own' expenses. I'd explain it to them as savings being used to look out for future selves.

[aricia]

Jul 3, 2024 5:14:32 GMT -5 azucena said:

I should also mention that we originally started dd15 at $25 biweekly for her 15th b-day last July when she could get debit card. Our original agreement was that this should cover her misc spending which was mostly fast-food with friends about once a week. She was more into that at the time and not at all into shopping. Like I'd be begging for her to go with me to replace bras.

So I guess in our situation the $50×2 covers prior agreement and clothes.

One other thing to consider is how/if to pay for their friends. Dh and I both came from homes that could hardly ever hand us cash and we both fondly remember which friends moms would say no prob I got it this time. Since we are beyond fin stable, we agreed early on that we would be that type of parent. Dd15 has had certain friends thru the yrs that would have to say no to dinner or tickets or whatever even in the $20 range and she was pretty astute at watching us pay for them. Freshmen year she had a friend she knew struggled so she asked us for guidance on when we'd cover her and it worked well. That friend rolled off and was replaced by bonus teen last summer and dh and I both coached dd right away to cover teen quietly without a fuss. Within a month of that teen pulled dh and I aside to profusely thank us for giving her a more typical social life.

It's been interesting to watch bonus teen use her allowance. I can't tell if she's a spender or saver as it fluctuates and she's def never had pocket money. So trying to gently coach her. She's also very giving. One of her best friends lives with her grandma and doesn't have much. Teen immed started taking to paying for friends fast food so friend could go. So I made teen same deal, I'll always reimburse you for that friend within reason and text me if you need judgment call. That's been working well and probably adds another $50/summer month when they have more time lol. Helps that none of them can drive but that will change 7/31 for dd soon to be 16. In fact I should prob give them each that $50/month informal friend reimbursement cap.

Thanks for chiming in! Looks like $100 a month is reasonable from a few posters now. We talked last night and from our list she will have: clothes, shoes, socks (she likes Nike socks but knows she can raid my regular ones if needed). Dress clothes (not including prom), makeup, going out with friends/team, gifts to friends. I will have: winter coat, basic hygiene/skincare (similar to what she gets now but if she wants fancier stuff she’s on her own), sports stuff (again, basics she gets now), undergarments.

She will maintain a ledger as if it was a debit account. No overdrafts but she may request an advance. She will maintain a decent wardrobe by my standards and accept that it it my decision if items need to be replaced. She needs enough clothing items that she is willing to wear to not have to do laundry every three days. (Yes, this has been an issue in the past.)

I think monthly will work for her because she doesn’t spend that often. She’s proven herself responsible and trustworthy with the credit card. If she keeps a ledger like a debit card or checking account I think it will provide her the same lesson. I will give her the credit card for gas money when she starts driving and would rather just stick with the one card.

[aricia]

And we will check out Plato’s closet next time we’re by one!

[raeoflyte]

Jul 3, 2024 10:44:14 GMT -5 azucena said:

Jul 3, 2024 10:14:35 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

"Expert" advice on savings percentage also includes percentages for housing and a lot of adult expenses. Unless you are requiring rent payments, etc you are really warping spending habits if the kid is spending 90% of income on wants.

Appreciate what you're saying Archie but I was thinking more like bill.

And it's not really about saving for college tuition, it's more about saving so they have a personal cash cushion as they start college and have 'living on their own' expenses. I'd explain it to them as savings being used to look out for future selves.

Quoting just because I'm chiming in on this piece vs original question.

I insist the kids save 20% of all earnings. Half for a car and half for college. I "match" what they save each year for each item hoping to provide encouragement. I've told them you spend your entire lives saving for a/(your next) car and saving for retirement (which right now is college). But outside of those things I figure they can save or spend how they want. Failing spectacularly now might make some things easier as an adult. Or not. If they're like me they'll have to learn the hard way.

[giramomma]

Jul 2, 2024 10:57:22 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

$100 bucks a month.  That wouldn't include winter coat/boots/gear or anything needed for formal wear, etc. 

Damn. I want that clothing allowance.

[giramomma]

So. We're only two kids into this.

My oldest did squat around the house. He got squat for an allowance. Don't get me wrong. He'll do things when we ask. But it's like at contribution level because he shares the same space.

He also HAD to get a job at 15. I wanted him to have some basic job skills incase he had to work somewhere full time, after HS graduation. Like, I gave him 6 months and then I cut him off from all that was fun. I also told him Santa would bring socks and underwear. 

Once he got a job, I continued to pay for basics. Funsies was all on him, and we expected him to save. He went to germany, too, and spending money was on him. I was like dude, you'll just suffer the consequences if you don't save.

He saved. And spent on funsies. He decided to punt on getting his license, because he didn't want to spend 700 getting it, and then pay for insurance.

Now, DD1 gets an allowance. She gets $40 a month. Because she goes above and beyond. We also pay her $10 to watch the missy if we need an hour or more of help. I also will splurge on her with experiences and self-care. Again, because she goes above and beyond. I don't splurge on stuff. We temper nice things at full retail price, as she won't be able to spend like that as a teacher.

She wanted to drive before 18. She got a job. Paid the $700 for behind the wheel. She is responsible for insurance and gas. She must save. She also pays for some funsies. She bought herself some $140 running shoes. She'll be OK.

I scrimp in clothing so we can afford other thing for the kids. I'll have to spend about $200 on clothes this year for myself. That's actually a big year.  I can usually go 1-2 years without buying anything new. So, I am hard pressed to give my kid multiples of what I have. 

ETA: We ask for 30% of income to be saved. When I figure out net income, that's what I take off for gross for taxes and retirement. 

Now that DS is living with us and working full time, he's saving 2/3rds of his paycheck. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be welcome to stay here. When we have to start paying on our HELOC, he'll need to start paying us some money. He really has minimal bills now anyway: $160 on car costs (gas and insurance), his cell phone, and then whatever for clothing.  He can't drink and he isn't dating. So 700 or so a month above his needs is plenty of spending money. 

[aricia]

So far, it’s going well! We checked out the outlet mall near my parents and she scoured the clearance racks for most of her purchases. She bought one pair of American eagle jeans only because they price matched their online sale price for her. We walked through the regular mall and she repeatedly asked why everything was so expensive. 😂 She tried on a Lululemon jacket to determine her size. I think she’s debating whether it’s worth saving up for, which I vastly prefer to her begging me for it. She made one AE order online for a second pair of jeans and a couple tops. Now she has a Kohls order on the way with t-shirts.
She seems to be happy with this system and still asks my opinion when she’s shopping and is pretty willing to accept feedback. More so than before!